Title: "The Simple Things"
Author: Gillian Taylor
E-Mail Address:
Rating: PG-13
Category: S
Spoilers: Millennium, The Sixth Extinction
Keywords: Mulder/Scully UST
Summary: Mulder reflects upon his life and the pursuit of the truth in light of recent events of season 7.
Disclaimer: Ahem. Let's just put it this way. I don't own them. I never have and never will. If I did, I'd be able to retire early. I'm just playing with them for a while. They'll be back before dinner-time, Mr. Carter.
Author's Notes: Special thanks go to my betas- Crysta, Astoria, and Mrs. H and to my friends and crew on the USS TrustNo1. The Lone Gunpersons rule!
"The Simple Things"
by Gillian Taylor
I used to believe in the simple things in life. I believed in the power of a touch, a laugh, a tear, a kind word, and a smile. Once I could find joy in the simple things that surrounded my life. And then came the truth.
The truth is like a spider's web: once you are touched by it you cannot get free. I found the truth and it destroyed my light. I live in a world of darkness, a world of my own making. Now, when I look at the simple things in life I find myself in awe of the way that I once was. How could anyone laugh or smile when they know what I know?
I buried myself deeper in a basement office, finding my own release in seeking the truth. The world is a facade, as only the Truth Seekers know. Others might look at a simple homely scene, a family gathering around a Thanksgiving dinner, perhaps, and see beauty. I look and see only people who do not share in knowledge, people who are blind to the truth.
I must envy them, I suppose. I once wondered what it might be like to have a family of my own, a house with a white picket fence and 2.5 children running in the yard. Now I'm not so sure. How can I live like that now that I have seen what I have seen?
And so I sealed myself in a prison of my own making, looking at the world through pessimistic and clouded eyes. My world consisted of the darkness; knowledge of the hidden truths left me little room for light. And then came you.
You were a breath of fresh air in the stagnant realm that was my life. However, I refused to acknowledge that fact until it was almost too late.
We've both been through hell these past seven years together. The truth knotted its noose around the two of us, wrapping us in its deadly embrace. I was given the option a few weeks ago, an option that was deadly in its temptation. I could have a normal life, the white picket fence and the 2.5 children that I once dreamed about. I only had to disavow the truth, and in turn disavow you.
The world was coming down all around me, in the deadly temptation of my mind, and then came you. You breathed life into a man that had decided to give up, to accept a 'death' that wasn't true. A death that would appease no Gods, but would appease the man who claims to be my father. However, you had other plans for the 'old' man that lay upon the bed, refusing to get up to face the truth. Your words had power over me for it was true; I was a traitor to my own nature. I had been caught by the truth long ago, to not acknowledge the existence of the spider web does not make it go away. No one has that power.
You pulled me back, breathed life into me again and pulled me home. I came so close to losing the one breath of freshness, the one glimpse of sunlight that refreshed my life that I began to think. Inwardly, I had acknowledged the power that you held over me, the strength of all your actions held over my life. However, this power that binds us together, be it the web of truth or something far more powerful and lasting--I could no longer deny its existence outwardly.
Perhaps it could be called love, this power that binds. However, what I have noticed since I first saw you, the simple things in life have begun to bring me joy. The power of your touch, your smile, your tears, your words, your laughter--all affect me in the most profound ways. I am beginning to remember my past, the time before I found the truth, the time before my sister was ripped from my life, and I enjoy it.
The simple things in life are what brings joy to our lives. I wanted to express my findings to you, express the turbulent emotions brought upon this revelation but fear held me back. I fear losing the truth, yes, but I fear losing you far more. I am a dying man that has seen the sun again, and I don't wish to lose its presence.
If I go back to the stagnant world that was my life now, I would die as surely as if I decided to hold a gun to my head. The best part of me is the one that recognizes the worth of the simple things, and that part of me belongs to you.
However, life has its ways of bringing two people together, I realized tonight. Tonight, as the ball dropped in Times Square heralding a new century, I gave in to the temptation to experience another of the simple pleasures of life. Today, I kissed you.
When you looked at me after that kiss, while I was scared half to death, I realized that I was not alone. You feel the same bond that I do...and the world did not end.
The world began again. And I found love in the simple things in life and in you.
~FIN~
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