The wind blew furiously as the ocean commanded a storm. I'm not going to wonder why I'm on this planet, in this world, in the break of defeat against the harsh colds of life. I can't block them, I can't run away, all I can do now is sit back and take it all in. There's nothing I do.
Sure. Through years I've always thought I was great. I was worthy of anything. I didn't need anyone's help, always packed it on my own. Laughing at the fools who called themselves bladers. Never thought they were even worth anything. Yes, I thought I was above all.
I gripped my blade in my hand so hard, the sharp edges cut through my weak skin and flesh. Yes, weak. Like I, I am weak. I couldn't even beat a nobody. Now… he's not a nobody. He's part of a team; he's part of something. Part of something is never good. Meaning you'll never be the only one. I'll never be the only one. I'll never be great; I'll never be what I wanted to be.
The blood drips, but do I care? It is so red, so scarlet, how the colour blinds my eye of power. Fire is the key I heard. Fire is painful and if you make just one mistake, it will scare your whole life. And in a world of fire, there should be only room for one. The one who can't touch it and get hurt, the one that controls all that is fiery with passion. Yes, I dared to touch the flames, I did! I admit it. I dared to risk defeat, I just never thought it would happen. I was good. I was great; I was everything I needed to become what I was destined to be. But he stood in the way. No, I still don't like him. I don't care what new bladers he's come across, the adventures begins for him, and I, I still sit in the fire, forever scarred! I blew it. The flames are fading, I do not cry.
Like the sun, I change. I can be nice and caring, I really can. But do I want to? As a mere child I was taught to win, I was taught the better things in life were the only things worth living. I never learned what it's like to feel, not until just a few years ago. And through those years, I've felt more than I could ever. I'm not saying I'm a robot. I can feel anger and jealousy, even if I choose not to accept it. But I've felt happiness and relief. I was almost over the fact that Kai had won. That is, until the clan heard. No, they were not happy, not one bit. I was destined to be a champion and I had failed. It makes me wonder about the winds of life… always changing, never stopping for a rest, never stopping to give me a break.
I never cried. I never did. The earliest memory of tears that I can remember was when I was three. I was crying because my rubber duck was lost. I cried, it was my friend. And then my father hit me, saying that men don't cry. I still don't understand that today… I wasn't a man when I was three… was I? Maybe it was tears that made me weak… maybe… maybe my life wasn't complete. I was taught to win, not to lose. To grab hold, not to get go. But I had! I get go of everything important! I have feelings too! I show great happiness and sadness too. Don't get me wrong, I'm very normal… except I don't cry. I never did cry… but I'm not saying I won't ever cry. I just might… one day, when I least except it.
The bleeding was getting worst. I looked at my hand, arg… it hurts like hell now. I twitched slightly, then letting the blade go in one second. It fell to the grassy lands of Glasgow. I knew that I didn't need this anymore. I'm grown up, and yet, I have tons to learn. But I don't need beyblades for my new adventure. Hoping to raise a family, a son who knows that winning is good, but it's not the end of the world if you lose. Yes, it's been years, I finally understand. I don't want to make the mistake my father did.
You probably think raising a family at the age of twenty is too much? I do too. I'm not ready for that… right now, I have to get things straight before I take anymore steps. I should look and repeat all the steps. Am I talking too weird now? Anyway, back to the point.
Love wasn't a choice or option for me. I didn't understand love. I knew my parents were engaged from when they were first born. But I wasn't. And I couldn't be happier. I'm free to choose… well not anymore. I have someone… and I think she loves me too. Love isn't as overrated as I thought.
"Oh Johnny! What happened!" She called out, running up to me, hugging me from behind.
She was my life.
"What do you mean?" I replied as I looked at her fingers intertwining with mine.
"You're bleeding. Don't tell me you didn't notice." She said, worried. She wasn't afraid of my blood. She wasn't afraid of anything that comes from me. So my blood was in my hands now… and for some reason, it doesn't burn.
I always thought my blood boiled and burned like my anger. But if she can take being with me and staying with me all this time… maybe I can take on life. No, I WILL take on life and all its blocks and forces against me. Cause there are friends by my side…
"Johnny… you've been pretty out of it lately, ya know?" Enrique quipped as he dipped his chips into cheesy sauce. Enrique never did change, he still has girls crawling all over him, but I can see him eye this girl. The only girl who wasn't all over him, he was hoping to catch her eye someday.
"Oh I have?"
"Don't pretend… and why do you have bandages on your hand?" Oliver asked.
Oliver was still himself. The sensitive, creative, artistic person that his girlfriend loved. Oliver was shy when he was courting the one who is now by his side everyday. She actually found the shyness cute. Sometimes, and ONLY sometimes, I wonder if my love would love me more if I was more caring and sweet like Oliver. But I brush those thoughts away as I realize that she wouldn't have loved me when we met.
Robert wasn't here. The last time we were all together was at his wedding. Yep, Robert was married. But I didn't know if he was forced into it or he really did fall in love. I hope you don't find me sappy by saying all this about love, but the question does ponder in my mind. Robert never said, but he didn't have too. He didn't seem like the kind of guy, but then again, neither was I.
Don't think I've changed from the arrogant Johnny. She still says I'm the most conceited man in all of Scotland. But if you find my words revolting, then you haven't learned a thing about growing up. Cause I've grown up, I'm not as stubborn as before.
"Is your hand better?" She asked as she leaned on me.
I just nodded. Then, at a wonderous moment, I cried. I didn't weep or anything. The tears just streamed down my violet eyes and I smiled. I wasn't crying because I was angry, sad, disappointed. I was happy… and my tears were true. I've seen my whole life through fiery, dark, smoky tunnels. But for the first time, the tears washed it away. I could see clearly. As clear as my eyes were violet.
* * *
Was that too sappy? ………………………………. -_- Sorry…. I DID just drink a whole bottle of water. Can you get drunk on water?
Anyway, ciaoooooooooo
