This completely took on a life of its own, half of the stuff that happened in this was never supposed to. Don't you love it when stories do that?
The title and those lyrics down there in italics are from the song On Your Side by Thriving Ivory. Ah, how I love them.
For those waiting on a Kamikaze update, that'll most likely be up tomorrow.
Disclaimer: Don't own them, just borrowing them for my own amusement. And hopefully yours too.
You see, I don't mind falling in love again, my heart on the line again.
No, I don't mind when I'm on your side.
The bullpen was alive this morning, uniforms leading grieving family members and prospective killers into different rooms and detectives mulling about the break room. It was familiar, a feeling she desperately craved right now. They'd just closed a gruesome case, a serial killer had let loose on the city and seven unsuspecting people had turned into victims over the course of a week. They'd caught the killer, Benjamin Grier, yesterday afternoon. Normally, telling the family members of the victims was far worse than anything else the cases would throw at her. But this time that wasn't true. The interrogation of Grier had been a close and chilling second.
She was used to the way his eyes had raked over her body when she walked in, that wasn't out of the ordinary. And it was normal for a psychopath to feel just a little bit of pride over what he'd done, the heinous acts he'd committed. But not like this; this was sick. He'd been bored; he'd wanted some entertainment. The screams of his victims made him laugh, the way they writhed in pain was amusing to him. It was disturbing to say the least, but she could've dealt with it. And then he'd crossed a line. Their deranged serial killer had lunged at Castle, screaming threats and obscenities at the writer. Her writer.
Somehow he'd gotten out of the cuffs without anyone noticing. Somehow he'd managed to jump across the table and wrap his hands around her partner's neck before she pulled the man off of him. And that's when her brain had gone haywire. Holding him by the collar of his shirt she'd rammed him against the wall, growling that if he ever touched Castle she'd personally make sure it was the last thing he ever did, before quickly handing him off to a uniform and running to Castle.
He'd been fine, just a little shaken up. But even after he'd walked out of the interrogation room and sat in his chair her breathing was still shallow and her heart was still pounding. He'd been held hostage by murderers before; he'd been threatened and almost killed. But this was different. This had been on her turf, she'd been right there. She could've stopped it from happening. She should've noticed that he'd somehow gotten the cuffs off. She should've been quicker, not letting him lay a hand on Castle. But she hadn't been fast enough, hadn't been smart enough, and Castle could've been seriously injured. She still wouldn't let herself even think about what would happen if Grier had killed him.
She heard the quiet ding of the elevator and was brought back to the present, a day after the incident and she still couldn't go an hour without thinking about it. Not even trying to suppress it, she grinned as Castle handed her a cup of coffee and plopped in his normal spot.
"It's snowing." There was an adorable childlike excitement in his eyes.
"And?" She asked, putting her paperwork into its respective file.
"And Alexis and I always go ice-skating on the day of the first snowfall, we've been doing it since she was five." He explained, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip of coffee.
"You do realize this is the fifth time it's snowed, right?"
"Minor detail. She was off at college before and last time it was Ian's birthday so she had to go out with him. But now she's sitting at the loft with no plans for tonight so we're all set. I better call her, tell her to get her ice-skates out of the closet." He fished his phone out of his jacket pocket and disappeared into the break room, he was practically walking on air. She smiled and turned back to her paperwork, scribbling her signature here and there. He really was a great father. At first it had been a surprise, though it was completely welcome after all of the innuendoes and jokes he'd been throwing her way. But that was before she'd gotten to know him, before she'd seen the real Castle. And being a great father was only a small part of the man she had come to define as her partner.
A few minutes later he made his way back over to her desk, shoulders slumped and eyes down. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened.
"She had plans, didn't she?" He only nodded and they sat in silence. It wasn't awkward. It wasn't tense. It was familiar.
"Guess I should just accept it, huh?" He finally looked up at her, a small smile etched onto his face.
"Accept what?" She leaned forward, eyes searching his.
"That she's all grown up now. She's an adult and what we did when she was five isn't all that important to her now. She doesn't need me, I'm just Dad." He closed his eyes and sighed. He looked so defeated; her heart couldn't help but ache as she watched him realize that Alexis wasn't his little girl anymore.
"Hey, look at me." He opened his eyes and she immediately locked her gaze with his. "She'll always need you. She'll need you to be there for support, to catch her when she falls. You have to let her go out in the world and live but she'll always need you to be right where she left you when something goes wrong. Trust me, a girl always needs her dad." Silence hung in the air for a moment as he absorbed her words, some of that familiar sparkle returning to his eyes. He placed one of his large hands on hers, enveloping it in warmth. Her heart fluttered at the contact. Fluttered, damn it.
"Thanks." His tone reminded her of the time they'd sat in the back of an ambulance, him telling her that he'd always be there to watch her back. She smiled at him and they sat there, staring at one another. He seemed surprised that she hadn't moved her hand away, that she hadn't threatened him with bodily harm if he didn't move his.
"Come on." She put the form she'd just finished away and stood, grabbing her jacket off of the back of her chair.
"What? What about work?" She couldn't help but notice that he hadn't called it her work. In his mind, it was his work as much as it was hers.
"Montgomery gave us the afternoon off, didn't want us to burn ourselves out after our last case." Our case. Gave us the afternoon off. She realized that she considered it their work too.
"So where are we going? You're showing me some part of your wild past, right? Oh, are we getting matching tattoos?" He flung his coat on and ran after her as she walked to the elevator.
"Something like that." She smirked at his stunned expression as she walked through the elevator doors, both of them leaning casually against the wall, arms brushing.
"What shoe size are you, Castle?" She rummaged through the closet, casting worn-out pairs of boots and old boxes aside as she searched for her prize. Smiling triumphantly, she pulled a plastic box out of the closet and set it on the kitchen counter.
"Uhh, a twelve." He responded hesitantly, leaning forward from his spot by the counter to see what she was pulling out of the box.
"Perfect." She grinned and pulled two pairs of ice-skates from the box, both of them looking like they'd seen a lot of action in their days. "Here." She handed the larger pair to him and put the box back in its designated spot.
"Okay, not to ruin the mystery but where are we, Beckett?" She pulled two knit hats and two pairs of thin gloves out of the closet before walking into the living room. She pulled the green hat over her hair, making sure to cover her ears.
"My grandfather's old house." Stopping by the door, she turned to look at him and smiled at the expression on his face before opening the door and venturing into the winter. The house was small, nestled in between about two-dozen trees. Castle had been completely confused when she'd driven out of the city, skyscrapers eventually transforming into cozy houses and countryside. His facial expression hadn't changed from its confused state since she pulled into the driveway of her grandfather's old home, plucked the key from its hiding place and began rummaging through the back closet.
"Mhm." He responded, coming to stand beside her in the accumulating snow.
"When he died the house went to my dad. Sometimes we come up here for Christmas just to get away from the city. Those ice-skates are his, I'm just glad you two are the same size. This would've been pointless if you weren't." She turned to him and put the dark grey hat on his head, pom-pom bouncing from side to side as he tilted his head at her in question. "Be patient." She commanded before handing him one pair of gloves and putting on the other.
He followed her in silence as she walked around the back of the house and took the path she'd known since childhood through the woods. Pushing branches aside and stepping over logs she finally led him into a clearing, a small frozen-over pond off to the side.
"When I was little my grandfather used to take me out here. We'd make snow-angels and snow forts. He taught me how to ice-skate here. It was our secret place, not even my parents knew about it. Sometimes my dad and I come out here now but it'll always be our special place, my grandfather and I." She brushed the snow off a rock by the side of the icy pond and sat down, lacing up her skates. Castle sat next to her, pulling his borrowed skates on before yanking the gloves onto his hands. "You really do remind me of him, you know." She didn't have to elaborate, she knew from the expression on his face that he knew exactly whom she was talking about. "Now move it." He stepped onto the ice and she watched him as he tested his balance.
"Race you to the other side." Castle smiled and pulled her onto the ice before speed skating to the other side of the pond.
"Jeez, how often do you go with Alexis?" She asked, struggling to keep up with him.
"We used to go every weekend." He smirked at her and she knew she was in for some trouble. She hadn't anticipated that he would be that much better than her.
"Oh," Was all she said, opting not to let him know that she only went about four times a year now. He seemed to figure it out anyway. He grabbed her hands and speedily dragged her across the ice before spinning them, holding tightly onto her hands as they twirled. All she could do was wrap her fingers around his and hope she didn't fall on her butt.
"Castle!" Her tone had a hint of warning in it, but there was amusement in there too. He stopped spinning and held her steady when she almost stumbled over her own feet.
"How often do you go, Beckett?" He asked, a hint of mischief in his voice.
"Not as often as you." She was stubborn, not going to let him completely outshine her. She started skating around him in small circles, watching him as he watched her. "Did you learn to skate when you and Alexis started going?" Even if he'd gone every weekend for years he looked as if he'd had a bit of professional training, the way he held himself on the ice suggesting he'd done some sport.
"I played hockey in high school." She let a self-satisfied smile slip. "I was horrible at it. I wasn't that big and I couldn't shove people out of the way to save my life. But I was pretty good on the ice." He lazily skated in figure eights, never taking his eyes off of her. It was familiar, having his stare on her like that. She was completely used to the way it made her whole body tingle, goose bumps forming on her skin. She'd come to like it, rely on it even.
They skated around each other for what seemed like forever, one of them getting closer and then suddenly gliding away. It was almost like a dance, one both of them knew by heart. He was the one to break it, to disregard the rules. He always was. Without warning he raced towards her and picked her up, tossing her onto his shoulder. Her heart thudded in her chest and she could feel the blush creeping up her cheeks.
"Castle, put me down!" She didn't sound very intimidating as laughter bubbled out of her.
"Not a chance, my dear detective." He sped up, and she yelped before tightening her hold on him. Bolting around the pond he smiled at her little screams whenever he abruptly changed course or pretended to almost run into something. Finally he did a hockey stop, panting as he held the detective to his body.
"Put me down!" She screamed for what was probably the tenth time, still laughing slightly. But he complied, setting her down on the ice. "Never again." She glared at him before turning and skating away. But she didn't get very far before stumbling and falling on her ass, a frustrated groan escaping her lips as she hit the ice. "Of course I would fall after you put me down." She didn't get up, opting to rest her gloved hands on the ice and scan the trees instead. He sat next to her, silence enveloping them. They stayed that way for a while, just content to be together.
"You're the only person I've ever brought out here." She whispered it, not sure if she should say it or not. The sentence may be simple but for her the admission was a big one, deeper meaning hidden in her words. And judging by the expression on his face he, the mystery enthusiast, had found it. At the look on his face she continued. "My dad wouldn't even know about this if he hadn't followed me out here one day. It was right after my grandfather died and I just wanted to be here, where all of our memories were." She looked away from him, studying how close together their hands were.
"Rick," out of the corner of her eye she saw his head shoot up at the mention of his first name, "when Grier attacked you yesterday I didn't know what to feel. I was angry. I was terrified. I felt helpless, useless even. Like I could've stopped it from happening, like I should've stopped it."
"Kate, you know that wasn't your fault." He took her hand and squeezed it, the warmth of his hand a clear contrast to the freezing ice. She leaned into him a little, still keeping her eyes off of his.
"I know, but it sure felt like it was. You've been threatened before, almost killed even. But it was never like that, I never felt like that. I wanted to rip his head off, and if he had hurt you there would've been no stopping me. If he'd killed you like I'm sure he wanted to there wouldn't have been a way to hold me back. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, Rick." She squeezed his hand, looking up to find their faces only inches apart. The usual mischief in his eyes was gone, replaced by something that she couldn't quite recall. But the look was familiar. She remembered it from nights spent together laughing over dinner, from catching him staring at her as they studied the murder board, from the smile he sent her way every morning as he handed over her coffee, it was all too familiar.
"I just don't know what I'd do, you mean too much to me." She whispered as she felt his warm breath dance across her cheeks. Her eyes darted from his blue orbs to his lips and back again. They stared at each other for a moment. Their breaths were shallow and their hearts were beating rapidly when she leaned forward and lightly pressed her lips to his. The kiss was almost hesitant at first but it quickly gained passion, fire spreading throughout their bodies.
He leaned backwards until his back was on the ice and she moved to straddle him, careful not to cut him with her skates. The cold of the ice didn't even matter compared to the warmth their bodies were creating. The way his tongue slid against hers was deliciously maddening, the way his fingers tangled in her hair making her pulse quicken. And it was already off the charts. His hands roamed her body; sliding up and down her arms before moving onto explore her back, eventually coming to rest on her ass. And her hands were not idle, one resting on his cheek while the other slowly moved along his side as it made its way under his shirt. She heard moans and a couple of stray growls but she wasn't quite sure whom they came from.
She pulled away and rested her forearms on his chest, her hair falling to one side like a curtain. Leaning forward she pecked his lips once more before resting her forehead against his.
"We should go ice-skating more often." He said against her lips, both of their faces breaking out into a large smile.
"We're going to have to if I wanna keep up with you." He smirked at her, and she narrowed her eyes at him. Then suddenly she was on her back, one of his forearms on each side of her head as he held himself above her. "Mmm," she let out a surprised groan as he began to attack her neck. He kissed from her collarbone to her ear, latching onto her earlobe and sucking gently before moving on. Experimenting, he managed to quickly find the one spot that drove her crazy. And he noticed, sucking on it before nipping at it lightly. Continuing his journey he kissed his way up her jaw line before pressing his lips to hers firmly.
"Kate," He sighed against her lips as she passionately returned the kiss. Her fingers wove themselves into his hair, anchoring his mouth to hers. When she couldn't fight it anymore she broke away for air, noting with satisfaction that his breathing was just as labored as hers.
"It's starting to get dark." She said breathlessly. He got up and held his hand out to her, a grin plastered on his face. She couldn't help but think that he looked absolutely adorable with his hair sticking up at those odd angles and his lips completely swollen. Then she remembered she'd done that to him and she could feel her face flushing. Taking his hand and not letting go, she got up and started skating over to the edge of the ice.
"Does this mean I get to call you Kate now?" He asked hopefully, childlike glee evident in his eyes as he put his regular shoes back on.
"No," at his confused expression she elaborated, "you still have to call me Beckett at work. But outside of the precinct, go for it." She smirked as she took his hand and led him back down the path. Smiling, she realized that as new as this was to them it felt comfortable. It felt like they'd been doing this forever. It was familiar; he was familiar.
"Now come on, if you beat me back to the house then maybe you'll get to see some of that wildness you commented on earlier." She laughed as he immediately started sprinting for the house.
Yeah. So I'm not completely sure how I feel about this. There are times when I like it a lot and other times where all I want to do is attack it and redo about two-thirds of it. But the part of me that really likes it won't let me do anything until I post it so here it is. In short, it'd be great to know what you think.
So, what did you think? Review? Please? You have no idea how much I love them, and how much I want your opinion on this.