Princes Familiar
Summary: Sakumo and Jiraiya. A collection of instances of varying length and style. Also with Tsunade; …maybe Orochimaru at some point, and Sandaime...and whoever else I come up with.
Author's Note: I love these two eternally (no, really Caliko? lol)—the title explains why. "Princes Familiar," is a song by Alanis Morissette; it captures my theme in every way: Papa, love your princess so that she will find loving princes familiar.
Disclaimer: I don't own the song; nor do I own Naruto, but I love him all the same.
Genre: Humor!! Yay! (...Rated only for the language.)
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1. Through the Gates
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"…'eh, Sakumotsu?"
…
His eye winced. "What did you say?"
"Nothing, nothing…"
"Good, that's what I thought you said."
Jiraiya trudged along faithfully in silence for a few minutes…until he discovered a remarkable connection. "Oi, Sakumo—you know what this reminds me of?"
"…What?"
"Wading through the front gates of Hades."
Sakumo rolled his eyes. "A little mud and here you go again…"
"No, no, I'm serious—" Jiraiya stopped him with a vine-scratched hand and pointed in imagination through the infinite web before them. "And here…" he said lowly. "The gates swing wide—and from the abyss comes…Sakumo and Jiraiya!"
Slowly, the former looked at him with some skepticism. "Somehow I'm not quite seeing this…"
Jiraiya frowned. "Oh well," he shrugged.
The two continued the trek through the jungle maze, aiming for the borderline that was the clearing—if there was such a thing. Sakumo supposed that was where Jiraiya's metaphor came in; a week of this jagged, tangled landscape did seem harsh, but he wasn't about to complain. It was a part of their mission, and now it was over. Just another kilometer, or so…
"Oi, oi—Sakumo,"
"…What?!"
"I wonder…where's our sin wagon?"
"Jiraiya, are you smiling?"
Jiraiya was grinning.
And it was so infectious, Sakumo smiled; "'Don't know—why, do we need one?"
"Well, I do," said Jiraiya, stepping over a rotted log.
"Are you sure we should be having this discussion?" Sakumo shook his head. "You seem awfully pessimistic—this isn't October country, exactly."
Jiraiya paused for a second. "Well what country do you define this as?"
"Kusa—nearly towards the south border."
"Sakumo, that's what you said yesterday…"
"Oh have some faith; we'll make it there eventually…" Jiraiya rolled his eyes, but Sakumo continued. "Assuming we don't get ambushed, eaten, clawed, poisoned, or otherwise incapacitated."
Jiraiya scoffed. "Now who's the pessimist?"
But Sakumo smiled. "I see it."
Jiraiya looked ahead. "You do not."
"I do too—fifty meters; wanna bet?"
"Well…Tsunade always loses, so what chance do I have…?" Jiraiya swiped away a low-hanging vine and in that instant, he saw him sprint on ahead. "Oh you…" Jiraiya muttered a colorful metaphor.
In a rush of the following, Jiraiya clumsily tripped from the jungle scene and landed on something soft he knew as grass. Sakumo helped him up, and Jiraiya noticed there was a person running up to them. It wasn't just any person—it was Tsunade.
"Sakumo…" said Jiraiya, in weary awe, "I think I see an angel."
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Dedication: To all the guys who see their girls as angels.
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(And if any of you do, PM me.)
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(Just kidding...XD...)
-Caliko