Disclaimer : Don't own GLEE, Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Cooper Anderson or the setting. Really, I own nothing, aside from my laptop, which I stole from my mom. In retaliation, she bought a better one for herself. Poor me :)
Big Brother ~ Big Brother ~ Big Brother ~ Big Brother ~ Big Brother
It was nearly over. Kurt would be going on his merry way to New York City, leaving Blaine behind after graduation. But, it wasn't as bad as it sounded – Kurt promised. He promised he would send a text message every day when he will be going to bed, he promised not to fall in love with anyone else, or out of love with Blaine, he promised to send letters – yes, paper letters, no emails, skype or facebook – he promised to wait for Blaine, there, and save him place in his heart, and in his apartment, and in his life.
Blaine likes to plan, and maybe falling in love is never according to plan, but he and Kurt – they will stick, because they are rather similar and yet so different. And it's all well, and Blaine knows it, but – the smallest betrayal hurts.
Kurt prattles on, with a wide grin and sparkles in his eyes, smiling at a man other than Blaine, and the teenager feels – not himself. Burning with jealousy, scorching with hatred, bloating with love.
Kurt's voice got higher. Uh-oh, really excited Kurt, but at the same time – there was something very un-Kurt-ly like in this gushing over a local celebrity.
Cooper, Blaine's older brother, the local celebrity.
The younger Anderson catches himself checking out his brother – as if from Kurt's point of view. Cooper was much – half a head, maybe? - taller than Blaine, dressed in a much more modern-sexy-manly way, not your-cranky-grandpa like Blaine felt at the moment (shouldn't have put on this pathetic, hideous bowtie! and the sweater! Oh my god...), blue-gray eyes creating much more interesting face than Blaine's darker, plain irises.
But, Blaine noticed with satisfaction, Cooper's expression had no real warmth behind the smile #4. It was completely artificial, as Blaine was used to, as always. And Blaine knew Kurt would see right through it.
Big Brother ~ Big Brother ~ Big Brother ~ Big Brother ~ Big Brother
It took a long time – much longer than Blaine could have ever predicted – to talk his brother over with Kurt. The fashion genius slash silly romantic slash future Broadway star slash love of his live was Blaine's boyfriend of a year (anniversary was in two weeks time, due to his parents' trip, in Blaine's house: candles, lube, food and bathing oils were already stacked), and still Blaine hadn't got enough balls to explain all the complexities of the rocky relationship between him and his brother – that is, not until he was forced to. And explain he did – older brother feeling pressured, younger being pampered and spoiled, older feeling unnoticed, younger developing new talents, older growing up with sense of neglect, younger passing his teenage years plus coming out without sibling support, and the list went on and on – and after, when they were just ready to part their ways to different classes (they both skipped a lesson), Blaine saw that Kurt indeed understood. Maybe not from hands-on experience, but from observation of the two Andersons, and from knowing Blaine, and from being so damn smart.
Blaine felt tears tickle his lower lashes, and he smiled tightly. Kurt smiled gently back, and they stood apart, not daring to show more signs of affection on a school corridor, yet connecting without need for words or touch. And that's when Kurt suggested "Sing it."
"What?" Blaine didn't understand – which song, to whom, what about?
"Sing, what you want to say, to your brother. I think Cooper deserves to know – he came all the way just for you, you know? And even if he doesn't care, even if you don't care – please, do it for yourself. It's all so – tightly contained – within you." Kurt waved his hand at Blaine's body, fingers so close to brushing his abdomen. "I think you need to let it out. Sing it, once and for all, and then – you can close that box, if you wish so."
Blaine felt his smile slid off his face, and sadness entered his heart, but at the same time – he knew Kurt was right, the solution just never occurred to him. So emotional, so simple, just like a song...the song...
He realized he was staring at his – perfect, gentle, amazing – boyfriend of one year. He blinked with both eyes, breaking the spell, and Kurt just smiled at him, encouragingly, patiently. The smile saying "I will be waiting for you, go fight it out, I love you.".
Blaine turned on his heel and went down the corridor, in the direction of the auditorium, where he knew his brother was napping between classes.
And he let the music speak for him.
Big Brother ~ Big Brother ~ Big Brother ~ Big Brother ~ Big Brother
Blaine remembers – and he remembers it all. The most trivial things – Coop taking his favourite toy when he was eleven, saying that Blaine is too old to sleep with toys – Coop commenting on his pink dress shirt, unkindly, with his friends laughing in the background – Coop opposing to the idea of having a dog – Coop presenting his date to the prom to his parents and Blaine already knowing he would never get that...The more important memories – Cooper reading his journal, rattling on Blaine for a bad mark at school, taking advantage of being taller and annoying him on a daily basis... And the rarities, pearls hidden in the mud – short periods of brothers being thick-as-thieves, stealing cookies together, having small secrets, like that one about feeding a stray cat ham or having a spit contest from the attic...
It was all there, in the voices of the two Andersons. All the pain, the loss, the love, the hatred, all the jealousy, the fear, the longing...
"Like when you said you felt so happy you could die..."
"I was glad it was over..."
"I don't even need your love!...
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over...
I don't wanna live that way...
Somebody that I used to know!..."
The music ended abruptly, and they just stared, neither trusting the other enough to take the first step. The silence prolonged, and Blaine thought it was over, the brief time of truth and emotions passed, and Coop would be back to being a fake asshole, and he would be forced to smile without feeling joy, and...
"Hey!"
Sigh. Oh, Kurt.
The boy emerged from behind the heavy curtain, looking fantastic in a fairly plain outfit in the limelight. His face showed impatience, but no anger or distress. My boy.
"Come on, boys, I don't have all day! My face needs some additional wrinkling exercises tonight for the drama I've been through." Kind, but biting sarcasm, and rationality. Yeah, that's what I needed, thought Blaine while feeling himself being soothed by his lover's high-pitched voice.
"Where are you going? You have classes, I need to go visit Greek Theatre Club and firsties having English, so I can teach them something about way of professional acting. Now, if you'll excuse me..."
"We're all skipping." admitted lightly Kurt, not caring in the slightest for the camera hanging directly above his head. Cooper opened his mouth to scold them, but Kurt grabbed his hand. "You too, Cooper Anderson. Do not say no." warned him the young Hummel, and Coop wisely shut his trap."We -" with his free palm Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and pulled him after himself, so he had barely time to swing his bag on and be escorted out "-are going to the Lima Bean, and you are going to have a long-overdue talk, brother to brother. All in favour?"
No one spoke, but Blaine nodded and smiled, so Kurt loosened his grips and smiled back.
"Let's go."
Over Kurt's head, Blaine caught Cooper's eyeroll at the boy's commanding manner, and grinned a little to himself. There was still hope for salvaging their bond.
Let's go.
