CHAPTER 1: The boy who got punched

(A/N): Have you ever wondered how many crossovers can fit into a single plot? Well now you get to find out. Don't be too harsh, I'm writing these in one draft. Just shut up and enjoy the ride.

The two circled one another, surrounded by the silhouettes of students and parents. On one side, the Dark Lord, on the other, the Boy who Lived. The first rays of sunlight began to peek over the ruined castle walls, casting a faint light on their faces, and suddenly both were in motion.

"Expelliarmus!" cried Harry, throat cracking, and a bolt of red light crackling from his wand toward Voldemort. Voldemort cast his own spell, eyes livid.

"AVADA KADA-"

The spell was cut short by an explosion. Screams filled the great hall as something enormous flew through one of the few still-intact walls, spraying dust and stone everywhere. Harry covered his eyes, shielding them from the plaster and debris. What was going on?

After a few tense minutes, the dust began to settle. Voldemort's legs were sticking out at an awkward angle beneath some sort of bright blue object. It looked reminiscent of Dudley's old remote control airplanes, but the shape was all wrong. He hesitantly stepped closer, wand at the ready. The great hall was silent again, the crowd huddled together in confusion. Harry flicked his wand, scouring some of the dirt off the objects surface. The vehicle appeared to be emblazoned with the number "07."

Something Hermione had said long ago stirred in his memory. Something about how muggle technology malfunctioned near Hogwarts? Maybe a plane was flying overhead and had stopped working? But wasn't Hogwarts supposed to be unapproachable by muggles? He flicked his wand again, scouring off more dirt. There were more words here. "Blue Falcon," he read aloud, wondering what it meant. He glanced down at the crushed legs beneath it. At least whatever it was had taken care of Voldemort.

With a bang, the hood of the vehicle flew open, smoke peering out. Harry readied wand and squinted, trying to see who (or what) was inside. It sounded like there was someone moving around inside the cockpit.

"FALCON!" cried an undeniably masculine voice. Harry cocked his head and got ready to defend himself. But this wasn't like any sort of spell he'd ever heard. Was the man inside talking about the animal?

A gloved fist flew towards Harry, catching on fire as it did so. Harry tried to dodge, but it was moving too fast, and it caught him square in the face. The crowd gasped as Harry flew across the entire Great Hall with burning robes. He flew through the air, disappearing onto the castle grounds with a muffled thump.

From the smoking cockpit emerged a blue-clad figure, with yellow gloves, boot, and scarf. His head was covered by a bright red helmet, emblazoned with a brass falcon. Goggles covered his eyes, leaving only white slits. "Punch." he said, lowering his fist. The crowd watched in shock as he jumped down to the floor, crouching and putting one palm flat on the ground. "FALCON!" he screamed again, raising his fist to the sky. His body begin to glow orange with heat, and the air wavered about his fist.

"Expelliarmus!" came the cry from the crowd. Ginny Weasley stood up, pointing a quavering wand at the figure in the center of the room. The man's golden glove flew off, but otherwise he did not move. He looked over and flashed a grin at her. "Come on," he smirked. Then he drove his fist into the floor.

"PUNCH!"

A few minutes later, the blue ship rocketed out from a smoking crater, the former site of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In the cockpit, Captain Falcon grinned to himself. That was another name to cross off the list. He reached into the Blue Falcon's glove compartment and pulled out a pencil and a piece of paper with tiny print covering the back, front, and margins. He deftly crossed out one of the tiny entries. This one read "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows." The Captain made a banked turn and saluted at the ruins. He didn't enjoy this kind of work, but it was necessary. It would all be worth it when he reached his goal.

Tilting the ship's nose upward, he accelerated and slammed a hand on a purple button on the console. The Blue Falcon began to shimmer, and it slowly became more and more transparent. As it disappeared, Captain Falcon smiled to himself. On to the next job.

(A/N): Where will Captain Falcon go next? And what is this mysterious list? Who hired this famous F-Zero bounty hunter? All will be revealed soon in CAPTAIN FALCON VS. THE METAVERSE. For now, enjoy this video I found: watch?v=9obnIOWez38