Hey readers! So... Seventeen Candles had an awful lotta loopholes in it. And as much as I love, LOVE, Gossip Girl, this seriously had to be explained. Here you go, fresh off the press (Microsoft Word), a parody of GG... cuz there aren't very many ones out there. Enjoy! And really, it was B's party, so why was everyone there already? Or rather, why was the bday girl late? Stay tuned for more chapters!

Chapter One- Why Is Everyone Early?

Blair Waldorf flew out of the taxi, followed closely by Serena van der Woodsen. They ran up the street, skirts flying, and the doorman graciously opened the door to Kati's brother's place. Blair and Serena giggled all the way up the elevator about what an awesome bash it was going to be.

As soon as the elevator dinged and the doors opened, Blair noticed something was horribly wrong- the place was already packed with people, the strobe lights were going, presents had already been piled on the tables, and a select group had started a game of Guitar Hero. They had even begun handing out refreshments.

Blair stomped her foot. It was her own birthday bash, dammit! How dare they start the party without her! No one even took notice of the two girls' appearance.

Serena tugged on her arm. "C'mon Blair... oooh! Let's go get drunk!!"

Blair yanked her arms back and pouted.

"Blair...what's wrong?"

"They...they... started without me!!" She bawled. "This is my party, these are my presents, and this, this, is my cocktail which was paid for by the Waldorfs'!!" Blair yanked a Cosmo from an unsuspecting dancer's hand.

Serena walked over to the sushi bar and ordered. Blair looked crestfallen.

"Here." Serena offered generously. "Have a sushi."

Blair took one and stuffed it, whole, into her mouth. She somewhat resembled a goldfish, with her bulging eyes and matching bulging lipstick-ed mouth.

Blair then stomped over to the table where the presents were stacked, and proceeded to hand them back to the donors. "Thank you very much," She shot crossly. "Next time, remember to stack them when I've actually arrived!"

She pressed the power on the xbox. The players and spectators groaned. "Awwwww!"

Blair waved her hands with an air of grace. "I am here, I have arrived. Thank you." She walked away. "You may continue." She called over her shoulder.

She then found Chuck and told him, "It's my birthday. No matter where he is, no matter what he's doing, he'll call. He's never missed my birthday. Besides, I absolutely adore him for being so considerate and not showing up so early, unlike all you people." Blair shot a death glance at Chuck, competely unaware that Nate was chatting with lil' Jenny Humphrey at the moment.

Serena's eyes widened as Blair walked back over. "And you call me a bitch."

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All for now,

starbucks-addiction