You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me. He has done it again. Once again, Potter has successfully humiliated me in front of my peers, and worst of all, in front of my professors INCLUDING PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE! How on earth will he choose me for a prefect now, huh? I'll tell you how. He won't. Potter has once again ruined my chances at being successful and not at all homeless. Four years keeping my grades up, and Potter ruins all of that with six simple words. "Will you go out with me?" Now before you go bat-crap-crazy like my recently dubbed ex-friend Alice due to her lack of support on the whole situation, let me just explain to you how totally unforgivable and incriminating stupid prattish James Potters actions really were.

I had just finished writing my Herbology final, and had decided to celebrate by going down to the Great Hall to enjoy some of the amazing and intoxicatingly delicious waffles, curtesy of the most clever and skilled cooks ever known to mankind, in peace. I repeat, IN PEACE.

Who should happen to show up but Mr Prattish Potter himself in all his "heavenly glory". That is, according to third year Matilda Franz who fancies Potter so much that I would be surprised if she didn't have an entire trunk labeled All Things Potter Has Ever Touched and/or Looked At.

So I was sitting there, minding my business and about to fulfill my dream of eating a glorious waffle, when Mr Glory Pants Potter decided to jump up on the table to proclaim his love for me. Honestly. Proclaim it.

"Oh Lily, Apple of my eye,

Will you go out with me?

Please, let me be that lucky guy!"

And then, he waved his wand, and the banners in the hall were replaced with the quote "Will you go out with me?". Seriously. Who did he think he was, John Travlota? He was being so incredibly insufferable.

"Dear James, Pratt extraordinaire,

I have a date with the giant squid,

I HOPE YOU LOOSE YOUR HAIR!"

So it wasn't the best come back of them all. Sue me. Of course, Potter wouldn't take that lying down.

"Ah! So you worry about loosing my hair! You know what they say, Evans."

"What, 'Don't date prats who loose their hair'? Don't worry, I know that rule perfectly well, thank-you very much. "

"Of course not Evans. I have no doubt that you do know that rule very well, and in order to avoid breaking said rule, you should go out with me. There's a Hogsmead trip coming up, and I will show you how amazing my hair looks on my head, where it will stay until the day I die."

I collected my books and began heading for the door. All of a sudden, the promise of a waffle wasn't making me as cheerful as before.

"Perhaps your time in Hogsmead would be better suited to going to Miss Mabel's. I hear they have great wigs there."

Potter yelled something after me, but I blocked him out. Why on earth did I think that getting a waffle was a good idea?