Notes: For this fic Jess never existed. Set in season one, no spoilers. Inspired by the song "Come As You Are" by Nirvana. Melony, Chaz and Pete are all OC's owned by me I guess.

Sam threw another stick of wood into the fireplace and watched as it slowly began to burn. Satisfied that the room was perfect with its firelight, candles and champagne chilling he checked his watch again. Any moment she would walk through the door and life as he knew it would be complete, if only for a few days. He stood near the window watching as the snow fell and blanketed the ground. He resisted the urge to call and check in on Dean recalling his big brother's stern warning.

'We deserve this Sammy. Go find that girl that you are always emailing and savor a moment of happiness. And forget about the job for a few days.'

And while Sam was grateful for the days off he wasn't convinced that Dean had followed through with the plan to at least rest for a few days and ignore any and all signs of demons, ghosts, monsters and anything else that goes bump in the night. He knew it would be tough for Dean to ignore anything that might take him one step closer to killing the same demon that had killed mom. In a sense Sam felt guilty for taking this time to himself, but he needed to feel normal again. He needed to feel loved and safe just so he would know that all he was fighting for was worth it.

Inside he knew he was fighting for her, for a life with her. But he wanted to keep her as far away from him as he could to keep her safe. The less she knew about his job, the better off she was. But he couldn't completely limit himself from her. She was one of his closest friends, one of the few he let get close to him. He'd always had a soft spot for her but their relationship never evolved. Instead he sat back watching as she went out with all the wrong guys. Inside he was dying to tell her how he felt. How he wanted to be with her and love he like only he could. He wanted to take her in his arms and tell her that even if she didn't choose to return his feelings that she deserved better than what she had now with what's his name. But before Sam ever got the nerve or the chance Dean showed up with news that dad was missing and Sam had no other choice but to leave.

He thought of the last time he saw her, remembering as if it were yesterday. It was the very next day after Dean showed up that Sam dropped by her apartment to ask for a favor.

Flashback

"Hey Sam, what's up?" Melony asked as she opened the door and stepped aside so that he could enter. "What's wrong? You've got that look."

He glanced around the apartment where he'd spent many nights studying and hanging out. He'd spent more than a few countless nights passed out on her couch from drinking himself into a stupor to try to take away his pain. He wanted to remember it all. He averted his gaze to the floor and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "What look would that be?"

"You know the one where you look like a schoolboy who knows a very naughty secret. Now do tell." She playfully poked him in the ribs before turning to take a seat on the sofa. Her brunette hair was up in a ponytail and she looked so carefree. It was going to break his heart to leave her, knowing that he may never see her again.

"It's nothing like that. I need a favor." His somber mood immediately caused her to take a more serious tone with him.

"Sure. What is it?" She smiled and patted the spot next to her cuing him to take a seat.

"I have to leave for a little while and I'm not really sure when I will be back. I really hate to ask you this but can you get Chaz and Pete to help you pack up my apartment and put my things in storage? I don't have time."

She stared at him in a state of shock. "What's going on Sam? What's so important that you have to leave mid-semester?"

"My dad is missing. Dean came in last night. We have to find him."

Melony reached out and pulled him into her arms hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry. Is there anything else I can do?"

Sam choked back the emotion in his voice. "No Mel. If you can just take care of my things, that will be enough. I'll leave a check on the table to cover everything and to buy beer and pizza for the guys. My rent is paid up til the end of the month so I'll call from the road and have everything shut off then. I've already talked to the landlord so I guess that's it."

"You're giving up your apartment? What aren't you telling me?"

He raked a hand through his hair and down the nape of his neck not sure of how much he wanted to reveal at this point. He at least owed her the truth or the truth as he saw it. "Mel, I'm not sure if I'll ever be back."

Tears filled her gray eyes and she stood up pacing back and forth across the room. "No! No Sam Winchester, this is unacceptable! You can't drop by here out of the blue and tell me that you're leaving and that you may never be back! You can't do this to me Sam!" She couldn't hold back any longer as the sobs came in waves and she sunk into his arms. He held her closely letting her cry for as long as she needed. He bit his jaw trying desperately to hold back tears of his own. When she quieted down he thought about telling her how much she meant to him but once again Dean interrupted his plans. Sam kept one arm around Mel while the other clumsily answered his phone.

"That was my brother. I have to go. Mel, I'm so sorry. I... I'll call you." He pulled her to him and gazed longingly into her eyes before pacing his lips on hers in a quick yet passionate kiss which she fully returned. He reluctantly broke the kiss, his knees weak and his heart aching he walked to the door stopping briefly to take her in one last time.

"Sam... I love you."

End Flashback

No matter what context, as a friend or as a lover, that was the last words he'd heard from her. That was over one year ago and while he had called a few times over the year the subject of the last words off her lips had never been brought up. But it had never left his mind. And after some prompting from Dean, he'd finally decided to call Melony up and invite her to visit. Since he was technically homeless he decided to rent a room at a cozy lodge in the mountains of Colorado although Sam knew she hated the cold, he also knew it was a good plan to keep her close to him.

He smiled to himself. It had been too long.

He checked his watch once more and estimated that her plane should have landed fifteen-minutes ago and that she should be on her way. His heart raced and he picked up the bottle of champagne opting to pour himself a glass to calm his nerves before she arrived. Despite their short conversations over the phone he didn't know much about what was going on in her life. Mainly he was concerned if she was "seeing" anyone. But he hadn't had the nerve to ask such a question, not yet anyways. His palms were sweaty, his throat dry as he downed the glass of golden liquid and poured another. In his mind he had rehearsed exactly what he would say over and over again but when a knock on the door sounded all he'd rehearsed went out of his mind. He checked his appearance in the mirror over the fire place and raked a hand through his unruly brunette hair. Anxiously he smoothed out his shirt even though it was fine. Another knock on the door came before he opened it. "Mel."

She was more beautiful than she remembered. Her brown hair was now more of a red but her smile was the same. Her face lit up and she practically jumped into his arms. "Sam!" She threw her lean, tanned arms around his neck and buried her face in his neck. "I've missed you Sam."

"I've missed you too."

--- --- ---

Inside she removed her coat, scarf and gloves and stood in front of the fire as Sam poured her a glass of champagne and handed it to her. "To good friends." She raised her glass and let it clank against his.

"So how was your flight?"

She smiled and took a sip from her glass. "It was ok. You know I'm not much for flying or cold weather. But when I got your invitation I couldn't say no."

"I'm glad." Sam stared at her, taking it all in. It was as if they hadn't missed a beat and all seemed so right.

She studied his expression with curiosity and met his gaze making sure she had his full attention before speaking. "Why am I here Sam?"

He closed in the space between them, taking her hand in his. "I've just missed you that's all. And this is the first time that I've had a break from work."

"Come on Sam. We both know that's not why you brought me here."

Inside he felt like he was an awkward teenager about to ask a girl out for the first time. He didn't think this would be the first thing they discussed when she arrived. He was actually counting on some small talk to break the ice, not that there was any ice to be broken. The sweat on his forehead would attest to that. "Do you remember the last time I saw you?"

She smiled. "Of course I do. And I told you I loved you to which you let the door shut behind you."

His jaw almost hit the floor. "So you meant it as..."

"As in I love you Sam. I haven't stopped thinking about you since you left California. There was so many nights I wanted to call but couldn't because of the way you left. I didn't know if you would feel the same way I did."

He placed his hand on her cheek and she closed her eyes recalling how much she'd missed his touch. "Mel, there was so much I wanted to tell you but couldn't. I've loved you for so long and I was all set to confess my feelings when my dad went missing."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to sit around and wait on me. I wanted you to go on with your life and be happy. I prayed that we would one day find our way back to each other."

Her eyes watered as she tried to fight back the emotion that overcame her. "Well here I am."

"Mel, I love you. I love you." Sam pulled her into him. His lips meeting hers in a fiery kiss. They clung to each other as if holding on for dear life. With one effortless motion they were laying on the floor in front of the fire. Sam buried his face in the crook of her neck and held her tightly. His soft voice rang in her ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Mel, I need you."

And for the night he put his fears behind him and gave into his heart. In the morning he would deal with how to tell her about his new life as a 'hunter' and if he knew her like he thought he did, she would accept it all. Life for him would never be normal again. And he suddenly felt ok with that as long as he had her by his side.