DISCLAIMER: I only own Ziggy and Jeff, and I most certainly do not own D.C., though The Smithsonian Museums are some of my all-time fave hang-out zones.
Mr. Pevensie Goes to Washington
Raid on the White House?
By Ziggy Marshwobbler
Last night, police authorities were given quite a shock when an armed boy was spotted on the White House grounds.
It was about eleven pm yesterday, February 4th, and a group of police officers were gathered across the street from the White House. Suddenly, one of the officers, Jeff Bradley, spotted what appeared to be a huge eagle flying above the president's home. However, Bradley soon realized that it was certainly not an eagle.
The officers hurried across the street to the White House gates, where they were able to get a closer look at the mysterious creatures. One of the policemen recognized it as a gryphon, a mythological hybrid of a lion and an eagle.
A moment later, the officers spotted a flashing light coming from the roof. As if on cue, a group of four gryphons carrying teenagers in their claws alighted on the green. By the time the police officials were able to open the gate, the teens had broken into the house.
We have interviewed some of the White House bodyguards involved in the strange attack. They say that they arrested the teens and one midget inside the President's room. Apparently, they were trying to free the President's pet mice from their cage. Bodyguards also reported on the appearance of the criminals.
The two boys were dressed in the attire of medieval warriors, and both wielded authentic, sharpened swords. The dwarf was similarly dressed, but also wore a helmet and a dagger. The girl was dressed in a medieval gown, and was equipped with a bow and quiver of arrows. Later, they also discovered a boy on the roof, also attired in the medieval fashion, complete with a sword and, strangely enough, a 1940's flashlight.
The instigators were escorted out of the White House and turned over to Bradley and his men. This morning, Bradley questioned them.
"The tallest guy says he's Prince Caspian," Bradley says, "the girl claims she is Queen Susan, the dwarf says he's Trumpkin, the boy on the rooftop is apparently King Edmund, and the other guy says he is High King Peter the Magnificent. They all have said that they hail from some place called Narnia."
Given last month's Darth Vader incident, authorities are getting suspicious. However, for the time being, all is well. The youths in question have been put in prison with a month-long sentence, and the gryphons have been put into ASPCA hands. Huge hoax, publicity stunt, or crazy truth? You decide.