Just three little words.
Katniss wasn't sure how she felt. Gale or Peeta? They weren't two teams for others to pick a side, nor were they toys to play with – she knew that – but that doesn't mean it would be easy to choose. A night on the roof with Peeta Mellark helps her realise her true feelings – but not with his words, but with three little ones she uttered that set her heart on fire. Keeta one-shot
This is set post Hunger Games – pre Catching Fire – so any mentions of Prim's death are just figments of her imagination, not her actual death.
Katniss tossed and turned in her bed, her hair a wild mess sprawled across the pillow as haunting nightmares replayed in her mind once more.
How many times did she have to see Prim die? Watch Rue being stabbed over and over? Peeta half-dead, disguised as a boulder? Clove's final screams? Cato's bloody end?
In her heart, Katniss knew the answer – she'd see this each night of her life, for the reminder of her life.
She woke up violently in a frozen panic – screaming so loudly she barely made any noise at all. She wanted someone to tell her it was just a dream, that she was safely at home in District Twelve, living in the Victors Village with Prim alive and well.
But it wasn't just a dream – Rue, Clove, Cato – everything, it'd happened before in reality – she was just watching their deaths again and again each night of her miserable life.
Katniss wasn't anxious to get back to sleep – as nightmares would haunt her once more. But her mind wasn't that kind, it didn't let her think easy, painless thoughts, but more of a touchy subject she'd been tip-toeing around as if it was about to explode.
Peeta and Gale.
She loved them both, in a way. Peeta had been forced upon her - but with the bread, they had something before they'd even uttered their first words to each other. Gale, on the other hand – had been with her since she was eleven, hunting with her – helping her, supporting her – being her friend. But you'd have to be blind to think that they both just wanted to be friends, that they didn't want something more.
But did Katniss? Yes, of course she did. But with who? Half her heart was screaming Gale, for the fact that they'd been together through thick and thin, the other half roared Peeta – for there was an indescribable connection between the two of them.
Katniss balled her fists, squeezed her eyes shut and shook with fear and rage at how complicated her life had become. Before she even realised what she was doing, she kicked her duvet off, pulled on a robe and ran into the hallway. Where to go? The woods? No, knowing her luck Gale would be there – it's where he thinks best. She'd be caught by someone and forced home if she idly wandered the streets of District Twelve. Katniss wracked her brains in an attempt to think, the whole house was getting stuffy – she couldn't breathe. In a panic she clawed the attic stairs open, scrambled up then made her way to the flat roof. She sighed, breathing fast – desperate for oxygen.
That's when she saw him.
Peeta was sat on the roof, gazing over District Twelve. Why was he on her roof?
"What are you doing here?" She asked Peeta – who whipped his head round in an instant.
"Oh. Hi Katniss, I stayed over – remember?" Katniss blushed beetroot-red, of course – he'd stayed on the sofa. Even though he'd been desperate to stay in Katniss' room, even if it meant sleeping on the floor.
"Oh – Yeah, yeah I remembered. I meant, what are you doing on the roof?" She bluffed, walking closer.
It was clear that Peeta knew that she'd only just remembered, but he didn't say anything. "Just thinking. It's clearer up here, you?" She sat next to him – gazing across District Twelve with him.
"Same," They sat in silence for a while, before Peeta's arm crept around her. Katniss stiffened automatically.
"What's wrong?" He asked, his soft blue eyes bordering into her strong grey.
"We're not on camera, Peeta" she told him, but he didn't remove his grip – but the light died a little in his eyes.
"I know Katniss, I know. Is that why you're up here?" He asked - she knew straight away he was talking about her dilemma over him and Gale.
She shrugged. "Amongst other things," she absent-mindedly rested her head against his shoulder.
"Yeah. The Games killed me too – in a way." Katniss was content then, right at that moment, as they sat in each other's arms on her roof, staring out at twelve – knowing that the Games affected Peeta too.
They were silent for about half an hour, but of course, Peeta had to wreck it. "Katniss," he begun.
"Mm," she murmured.
"I understand, you know, if you choose Gale. I'll always be by your side – whether we're friends or more than that." Katniss sighed.
"What?"
"Don't worry Peeta. It's just, hard. Half of me tells me that Gale's the one, as we've been with each other since my father died. But the other half says that really it's you, as you've saved my life in more ways than one – and there's just...Something...I don't know what, that connects me with you," Peeta smiled softly.
"I know what that is," he told her.
"What?" Katniss asked eagerly – it'd been bugging her for a while – amongst other things.
"Love," Katniss rolled her eyes, why didn't she know that Peeta would come out with something soppy like that?
"I'm serious Katniss. I've told you I love you plenty of times, but you've never said it back." Katniss had to fight of a bark of laughter.
"I've told you that I love you so much I've lost count." Peeta pulled her closer.
"No you haven't Katniss. Well, you have – but that's for the camera. For the show. For Panem. You've never meant it Katniss, ever. I have, and I always will" Katniss sighed again.
"Just say it," Katniss breathed a laugh.
"Why?" Peeta scowled at this.
"Just try it Katniss." He told her firmly.
"Fine," She looked up into his eyes, all sense of anger and pain gone in an instant.
"Peeta Mellark," She begun, building up the courage to say it. Why was it so hard? She'd done it more than enough on camera!
"Yes?" He opened.
"I-" she couldn't say it. What did that mean? That she was in love this Gale?
Katniss shook her head.
"You promised," Peeta reminded her. "OK. Peeta Mellark, I...I-" Come on! A voice hissed in her head - Peeta's eyes were wide and hopeful. "I love you," she told him firmly. And at that, a thousand fireworks exploded in her body – her heart leapt and her soul danced as Peeta smiled at her.
"See – wasn't so hard now was it?" The connection that she felt, the hole that was inside her – it had been filled in an instant as she uttered those words.
"I love you," she repeated again – with far more certainty.
"Peeta Mellark, I love you" she pressed her lips on his – which gladly worked in rhythm with hers.
"I love you too," he murmured – before she pulled him back – planning on never letting go.