Note: This story, my first (and possibly only) actual T.U.G.G. story (though anybody else who wants to write a T.U.G.G. story has my full permission), is written in memory of the all-too-recent World Trade Center tragedy. Since the Justice League and the Animaniacs (both halves of my T.U.G.G. Amalgams) are both copyrighted by Warner Communications, Darkwing Duck (who is referred to in this story more than once) is copyrighted by Disney, and this story DOES contain actual Bin Laden references, I'm writing this story with absolutely NO profit motive.
***************************************************************************
September 14, 2001
This story opens on the moon at the Watch/Water Tower headquarters of the Toons United for the Greater Good (or T.U.G.G. for short), when the team just returns from saving the universe from the combined villainy of Bullybird, Queen Mink and the CEO of the Cosmos, three of the team's most formidable foes who have combined their talents in an effort to overcome their mutual enemies and dominate the entire universe. Tuning in to the world monitors to see what crises have hit the world during the week they unavoidably occupied in deep space, the team just now finds out about the kamikaze jumbo jet attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon and the person believed to be responsible for said attacks. Devilwoman is the first to speak,
"Boy, it's guys like that Bin Laden; i.e. those who senselessly kill innocent people with little or no mercy; who got me into crime-fighting in the first place. Still, Laden MIGHT be only a patsy working under the control of a devious, and most assuredly ruthless, puppet master. We can't afford to make the mistake of rushing too quickly to judgement.".
Elastic Mouse replies "I don't normally agree with Devilwoman, but the information the government has dug up thus far on the alledged mastermind behind this tragedy DOES seem to have been found too quickly and easily. Somebody clever enough to have planned out something like this probably WOULDN'T be careless enough to leave such an obvious trail. We're going to have to split up to handle this properly. Quick Mouth and Green Gagbag will got to the World Trade Center and note only help with the rescue/rebuilding efforts, but also entertain the OTHER rescue workers to keep their spirits up. Cutie Queen and Sea Squirrel will handle the Washington D.C. end while the Manhunting Poultry, Devilwoman, Powerhouse and I will travel to Pakistan and investigate THAT end.".
Sea Squirrel asks in complaint "Hey, mouse, why do WE have to handle the rescue/rebuilding/entertainment end? Also, why does Powerhouse get to come with you, Darkwing Cat and the Manhunting Poultry?".
Only the soothing hands of Devilwoman and the telepathy of the Manhunting Poultry manage to calm Powerhouse down before he breaks into his "Cat? Cat? Where's the cat? Where's the Cat?" routine.
Elastic Mouse answers "To answer the first question, Sea Squirrel, you and the siblings have the best senses of humor AND the best comic arsenals of the team. To answer your SECOND question, Devilwoman, the Manhunting Poultry and I are the team's three best investigators as well as the ones best equipped to keep Powerhouse in line.".
"Besides which, Sea Squirrel, I'm getting a little ticked off about all of those Darkwing Duck cracks you and the Warner siblings make about me. I don't know where you come up with that stuff." Devilwoman adds in an annoyed but controlled voice.
"Exhibit "'A'": The fact you BOTH wear masks and capes. Exhibit "'B'": The fact that you BOTH have egos the size of small planets. Exhibit "'C'": The fact that you BOTH have brawny and big-hearted, but thick-skulled and clumsy, sidekicks who tend to be somewhat crash-crazy when they fly AND insist on calling you "'DW'". AND Exhibit "'D'": The fact that you recently fell rather hard for a criminal who turned to be a sorcerer." Sea Squirrel answers smugly.
"Point Number One: Masks and capes are standard super-hero attire. Point Number Two: I am NOT a glory-hog; in fact I actually try to intentionally AVOID the spotlight a good deal of the time. Point Number Three: I did NOT fall for Archibald Arkult; I merely PRETENDED TO in order to lull him into a sense of false confidence." Devilwoman retorts before adding "Now, without further ado, let's get to work. We've got terrorists to bring to justice and a beleaguered nation to raise the spirits of.".
With that, the T.U.G.G. head for their teleporter tubes and head for their agreed-upon destinations.
***************************************************************************************
In New York, the Green Gagbag (alias Kyle Warner) uses one of his super-belches to blast all of the World Trade Center debris off the ground while using his "power bag" to create a giant spring that Quick Mouth (aka Wally Warner) uses to propel himself into the debris, where, using his super-speed, he easily digs out every body trapped in the wreckage before his brother conjures up a giant strainer that catches all of the rubble in mid-air. Once the Green Gagbag gently lowers the rubble to the ground and creates two giant emerald energy fire-extinguishers to cool of said wreckage, Wally Warner instantly sets to work rebuilding the World Trade Center, aided by his brother's emerald energy welding and reinforcement to make said buildings stronger than before. However, by the time the toony super-brothers complete only ten stories (which takes them about three minutes), they spot four VERY attractive female New Yorkers strolling by and go into their "Helloooo, Nurse" routine. When the four women try to run off, the brothers then engage in their "Boingy, Boingy, Boingy" routine and give chase. After pursuing the four girls for about five minutes, however, Quick Mouth and Green Gagbag go back to reparing the World Trade Center and giving the other rescue workers a darn good show.
Meanwhile, at Washington D.C., while Cutie Queen (alias Diana Warner) is busy helping with the Pentagon repairs using her demigoddess strength and the help of her "pet", Sea Squirrel uses her telepathic command over sea creatures to make a few octopi engage in a juggling act AND uses her cartoon props to put on a "one-toon-show" that has the previously saddened-beyond-belief Washington D.C. crowd rolling on the floor in laughter. Hearing the grateful sound of unrestrained laughter, Sea-Squirrel's original bitterness about this "mission of mercy" quickly softens as the old curmudgeon breaks into a too-rare smile.
*********************************************************************************************
Meanwhile, in Pakistan, the Manhunting Poultry uses his shape-changing powers and telepathy to discreetly gather information about where Bin Landen is hiding (though they don't know for cerain he's the one behind the mayhem, he IS still the prime suspect and, even if Landen ISN'T the mastermind, he may still be able to provide a clue as to who IS) while Elastic Mouse takes full advantage of both his small size AND his super-stretching powers by discreetly entering every building and sewer, giving a VERY thorough search to said buildings and sewers. At the same time, Devilwoman uses her street smarts and high-powered infra-red binoculars to search the Pakistan alleys for clues (singing while is doing so [okay so I'm no good at soming up with song lyrics; you're going to have to use your own imaginations when it comes to the song scenes]) and Powerhouse, at Devilwoman's order, uses his flying power and X-ray vision to conduct an air search.
Eventually, Devilwoman replies "Team, I've found a clue that might lead us to Landen." into her communicator JUST loudly enough so that Powerhouse, Elastic Mouse and the Manhunting Poultry can hear her.
Elastic Mouse asks "What clue did you find, Devilwoman?" over his own communicator.
Devilwoman answers "Simple. I've found a dry-cleaning bill that mentions cleaning pee-stained underwear and military pants.".
"Nice work, DW. Definitely, definitely very nice work." Powerhouse replies over his communicator.
"Powerhouse, as I keep telling you, I would prefer it if you DIDN'T call me "'DW'"; I get enough Darkwing cracks from Sea Squirrel and the Warners as it is." Devilwoman sighs as she triggers her communicator's homing signal.
Within seconds, the Manhunting Poultry, Powerhouse and Elastic Mouse all converge on Devilwoman's signal and end up near an abandoned Pakistan bowling alley. Devilwoman replies "I've already cased the building and Landen IS in there; along with literally 50 armed thugs. Manhunting Poultry and Powerhouse, you two stay out here in case Landen or any of his goons try to get out. Elastic Mouse and I are going in.".
Powerhouse asks "Isn't going in there and trying to take on those guys dangerous, DW? Defintely sounds dangerous to me.".
"Yes, it IS dangerous, Powerhouse and, please, for the love of the lord, DON'T call me "'DW'"." Devilwoman answers as she shoots an auto-retractable grapnel up to the building's roof while Elastic Mouse strecthes his way into on of the alley's mouseholes.
Devilwoman enters the building through the skylight and, while she still has the element of surprise, she tosses five smoke bombs, the extra-thick smoke from which blinds Landen's goons long enough for the feline super-crime-fighter to punch and kick fifteen of the henchmen's lights out but good. Meanwhile, Elastic Mouse uses his super-intelligence and super-stretching powers to quickly and easily disable the guns of Landen and all 50 of his thugs before Devilwoman's smoke clears. Once the smoke clears, however, Landen and his minions look rather embarassed about the fact that fifteen of their number were just taken down by one cat in a black bodysuit with matching bat-wing-like cape and full-face cowl with devil-horn-like ear-flaps. When they try to shoot the feline heroine, they find their guns have all been disabled and Landen orders his troops to attack the feline super-crime-fighter head-on.
Using a series of well-planned leaps, rolls and flips, Devilwoman expertly manuvers another ten of Landen's henchmen into accidentally taking each other out for the count while Elastic Mouse uses his super-strecthing powers to ensnare another ten of those thugs. However, Landen and the last fifteen of his henchmen head out the back way only to run into the waiting Powerhouse and Manhunting Poultry. Both using their great strength to lift two of Landen's henchmen with each wing or paw, the two heroes slam twelve of the remaining sixteen known foes together hard enough to knock them out cold. After that, the Manhunting Poultry uses his telepathic power to take down Landen himself and Powerhouse uses his heat vision to continuously give the last three thugs the old "hot foot" for about twenty seconds before literally putting the trio on ice with his super-cold-breath.
However, after that fight is over, Devilwoman and Elastic Mouse find a small hair sample and begin to quickly analyze it. To their horror, they discover that it is actually a piece of HAMSTER fur. More precisely, it is a piece of ARTIFICAL hamster fur. To be EVEN MORE precise, it is a piece of SUPER-CHARGED artifical hamster fur.
"Oh, oh! Devilwoman, are you pondering what I'M pondering?" Elastic Mouse asks nervously.
"If you mean that Landen was working under the thumb of Copy-Hamster, then yes I AM, Elastic Mouse.".
Unfortunately, the realization comes too late for Powerhouse and the Manhunting Poultry as POwerhouse is subdued by a sucker-punch with all of not only his OWN strength behind it, but also the strength of Cutie Queen, Sea Squirrel and the Manhunting Poultry as well. The Manhunting Poultry, meanwhile is taken down by a blast of heat vison combined with his OWN telepathic power mixed with Sea Squirrel's. Emerging from the shadows, the small but incredibly powerful evil genius android hamster known as Copy-Hamster chuckles as he says "So much for the two most powerful. Now I'll deal with Devilwoman and Elastic Mouse. HAHAHAHAHA!".
Copy-Hamster then enters the bowling alley and replies, "Looking for me, heroes? Well, far be it for me to keep you waiting.".
Devilwoman replies "So, Copy Hamster, you used your telepathic power to give Bin Landen the idea of dive-bombing the World-Trade Center AND the White House, though the minions missed their mark on the latter target and nailed the Pentagon instead. I figure you did it to strike terror in the heart of the so-called mightiest nation in the world.".
"Brilliant deduction, my dear Devilwoman, but I'm afraid you and Elastic Mouse aren't going to live to expose the truth. I've already soundly defeated both of your possibly available allies and there is no chance of the two of you being able to defeat sombody who has the combined might of ALL of your teammates and none of their weaknesses. Just think, Elastic Mouse, with YOUR powers you could have ALREADY conquered the world if you wanted to. However, you decided to get out of the world domination just because some lousy monks were sickeningly kind to you and restored some of your lost faith in humanity." Copy-Hamster rants.
Elastic Mouse retorts "Okay, so I'm a reformed megalomaniac. I admit it. All it means is that I've seen the error of my past ways. Apparently, though, YOU HAVEN'T.".
As Elastic Mouse and Copy-Hamster battle it out super-streching style, Devilwoman vanishes in a swirl of smoke. When Copy-Hamster lands a devastating super-strength haymaker on Elastic Mouse, the evil genius android super-hamster is about to finish his pliable arch-rival with a heat vision blast when a FMWPHT! sound gets his attention. Copy Hamster turns around to see a thick cloud of smoke with an eerie voice emitting from it.
"I AM THE HORROR THAT ROARS IN THE NIGHT!".
As Copy-Hamster charges the cloud, he gets caught in something that rapidly drains his energy. When the smoke clears, it turns out that he got ensnared in Devilwoman's spare cape, which has a trick microphone attached to it and is rigged up to wires.
When Elastic Mouse comes to, he sees the evil super-powered android hamster ensnared in the fabric of Devilwoman's spare cape and replies "I assume you trapped him in the cape I made for you; the one made of a super-top-secret specially-coded super-fabric that drains the energy of anybody wearing it except for the DESIGNATED wearer. The drained energy, in turn, strengthens the fabric itself.".
"You guessed correctly, Elastic Mouse. That IS what I used to trap him." Devilwoman admits proudly.
"But how did you get close enough to use that special "'security cape'"?".
"Simple; I didn't. I got HIM close enough for me to use it by tricking him into charging at the cape unknowningly.".
"How did you manage THAT?".
"Easy; I try so hard and so often to point out the differences between me and Darkwing Duck that Copy-Hamster didn't expect me to INTENTIONALLY take a cue from his playbook, albeit in a smarter manner than Darkwing normally does. This caught Copy-Hamster off-guard and got him confused enough to make a big mistake. Just don't tell ANYBODY I did that.".
"I see. Well, All that's left is for us to revive Powerhouse and the Manhunting Poultry, leave the captured villains for the authorities to round up, head back for the Watch/Water Tower and wait for the others to complete their tasks. Don't worry, I will NOT tell ANY of the others about the trick you used to defeat Copy-Hamster.".
*****************************************************************************************************************
Well, within a few hours, Quick Mouth, Green Gagbag, Cutie Queen and Sea Squirrel all return to the tower after completing their missions.
"Well, the villains are safely locked away, America's moral has been greatly improved and most of the building damage caused by the kamikaze jumbo jet pilots HAS been repaired. I say that qualifies as pulling truimph from tragedy." Devilwoman replies.
"Yeah, but you never told us how you beat Copy-Hamster." Sea-Squirrel comments.
"All that matters is that she DID beat the main villain almost single-handedly. It isn't important HOW. After all, the fewer people who know how she did it, the less likely it is that the villain will be able to figure out the trick and adapt to it." Elastic Mouse retorts, covering for the feline super-crime-fighter.
The End
***********************************************************************************************
Amalgams Used:
T.U.G.G. = JLA + Animaniacs
Devilwoman = Batman + Rita
Powerhouse = Superman + Runt
Quick Mouth = Flash + Yakko
Green Gagbag = Green Lantern + Wakko
Cutie Queen = Wonder Woman + Dot
Manhunting Poultry = Martian Manhunter + Chicken Boo
Sea-Squirrel = Aquaman + Slappy Squirrel
Queen MInk = Queen Bee + Minerva Mink
CEO of the Cosmos = Darkseid + CEO Plotz
Bullybird = Despero + Pesto
Copy-Hamster = Amazo + Snowball
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Note: I know the World Trade Center tragedy didn't go that way for real, but I thought this was a interesting "what-if" tale. Once more, both halves of the T.U.G.G. Amalgams are copyrighted by Warner Communications, Darkwing Duck is copyrighted by Disney and this story contained referrence to real people, so I have absolutely NO profit motive here. If anybody wants to do a T.U.G.G. story of their own, be my guest. Just give Warner Communications the proper respect.
***************************************************************************
September 14, 2001
This story opens on the moon at the Watch/Water Tower headquarters of the Toons United for the Greater Good (or T.U.G.G. for short), when the team just returns from saving the universe from the combined villainy of Bullybird, Queen Mink and the CEO of the Cosmos, three of the team's most formidable foes who have combined their talents in an effort to overcome their mutual enemies and dominate the entire universe. Tuning in to the world monitors to see what crises have hit the world during the week they unavoidably occupied in deep space, the team just now finds out about the kamikaze jumbo jet attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon and the person believed to be responsible for said attacks. Devilwoman is the first to speak,
"Boy, it's guys like that Bin Laden; i.e. those who senselessly kill innocent people with little or no mercy; who got me into crime-fighting in the first place. Still, Laden MIGHT be only a patsy working under the control of a devious, and most assuredly ruthless, puppet master. We can't afford to make the mistake of rushing too quickly to judgement.".
Elastic Mouse replies "I don't normally agree with Devilwoman, but the information the government has dug up thus far on the alledged mastermind behind this tragedy DOES seem to have been found too quickly and easily. Somebody clever enough to have planned out something like this probably WOULDN'T be careless enough to leave such an obvious trail. We're going to have to split up to handle this properly. Quick Mouth and Green Gagbag will got to the World Trade Center and note only help with the rescue/rebuilding efforts, but also entertain the OTHER rescue workers to keep their spirits up. Cutie Queen and Sea Squirrel will handle the Washington D.C. end while the Manhunting Poultry, Devilwoman, Powerhouse and I will travel to Pakistan and investigate THAT end.".
Sea Squirrel asks in complaint "Hey, mouse, why do WE have to handle the rescue/rebuilding/entertainment end? Also, why does Powerhouse get to come with you, Darkwing Cat and the Manhunting Poultry?".
Only the soothing hands of Devilwoman and the telepathy of the Manhunting Poultry manage to calm Powerhouse down before he breaks into his "Cat? Cat? Where's the cat? Where's the Cat?" routine.
Elastic Mouse answers "To answer the first question, Sea Squirrel, you and the siblings have the best senses of humor AND the best comic arsenals of the team. To answer your SECOND question, Devilwoman, the Manhunting Poultry and I are the team's three best investigators as well as the ones best equipped to keep Powerhouse in line.".
"Besides which, Sea Squirrel, I'm getting a little ticked off about all of those Darkwing Duck cracks you and the Warner siblings make about me. I don't know where you come up with that stuff." Devilwoman adds in an annoyed but controlled voice.
"Exhibit "'A'": The fact you BOTH wear masks and capes. Exhibit "'B'": The fact that you BOTH have egos the size of small planets. Exhibit "'C'": The fact that you BOTH have brawny and big-hearted, but thick-skulled and clumsy, sidekicks who tend to be somewhat crash-crazy when they fly AND insist on calling you "'DW'". AND Exhibit "'D'": The fact that you recently fell rather hard for a criminal who turned to be a sorcerer." Sea Squirrel answers smugly.
"Point Number One: Masks and capes are standard super-hero attire. Point Number Two: I am NOT a glory-hog; in fact I actually try to intentionally AVOID the spotlight a good deal of the time. Point Number Three: I did NOT fall for Archibald Arkult; I merely PRETENDED TO in order to lull him into a sense of false confidence." Devilwoman retorts before adding "Now, without further ado, let's get to work. We've got terrorists to bring to justice and a beleaguered nation to raise the spirits of.".
With that, the T.U.G.G. head for their teleporter tubes and head for their agreed-upon destinations.
***************************************************************************************
In New York, the Green Gagbag (alias Kyle Warner) uses one of his super-belches to blast all of the World Trade Center debris off the ground while using his "power bag" to create a giant spring that Quick Mouth (aka Wally Warner) uses to propel himself into the debris, where, using his super-speed, he easily digs out every body trapped in the wreckage before his brother conjures up a giant strainer that catches all of the rubble in mid-air. Once the Green Gagbag gently lowers the rubble to the ground and creates two giant emerald energy fire-extinguishers to cool of said wreckage, Wally Warner instantly sets to work rebuilding the World Trade Center, aided by his brother's emerald energy welding and reinforcement to make said buildings stronger than before. However, by the time the toony super-brothers complete only ten stories (which takes them about three minutes), they spot four VERY attractive female New Yorkers strolling by and go into their "Helloooo, Nurse" routine. When the four women try to run off, the brothers then engage in their "Boingy, Boingy, Boingy" routine and give chase. After pursuing the four girls for about five minutes, however, Quick Mouth and Green Gagbag go back to reparing the World Trade Center and giving the other rescue workers a darn good show.
Meanwhile, at Washington D.C., while Cutie Queen (alias Diana Warner) is busy helping with the Pentagon repairs using her demigoddess strength and the help of her "pet", Sea Squirrel uses her telepathic command over sea creatures to make a few octopi engage in a juggling act AND uses her cartoon props to put on a "one-toon-show" that has the previously saddened-beyond-belief Washington D.C. crowd rolling on the floor in laughter. Hearing the grateful sound of unrestrained laughter, Sea-Squirrel's original bitterness about this "mission of mercy" quickly softens as the old curmudgeon breaks into a too-rare smile.
*********************************************************************************************
Meanwhile, in Pakistan, the Manhunting Poultry uses his shape-changing powers and telepathy to discreetly gather information about where Bin Landen is hiding (though they don't know for cerain he's the one behind the mayhem, he IS still the prime suspect and, even if Landen ISN'T the mastermind, he may still be able to provide a clue as to who IS) while Elastic Mouse takes full advantage of both his small size AND his super-stretching powers by discreetly entering every building and sewer, giving a VERY thorough search to said buildings and sewers. At the same time, Devilwoman uses her street smarts and high-powered infra-red binoculars to search the Pakistan alleys for clues (singing while is doing so [okay so I'm no good at soming up with song lyrics; you're going to have to use your own imaginations when it comes to the song scenes]) and Powerhouse, at Devilwoman's order, uses his flying power and X-ray vision to conduct an air search.
Eventually, Devilwoman replies "Team, I've found a clue that might lead us to Landen." into her communicator JUST loudly enough so that Powerhouse, Elastic Mouse and the Manhunting Poultry can hear her.
Elastic Mouse asks "What clue did you find, Devilwoman?" over his own communicator.
Devilwoman answers "Simple. I've found a dry-cleaning bill that mentions cleaning pee-stained underwear and military pants.".
"Nice work, DW. Definitely, definitely very nice work." Powerhouse replies over his communicator.
"Powerhouse, as I keep telling you, I would prefer it if you DIDN'T call me "'DW'"; I get enough Darkwing cracks from Sea Squirrel and the Warners as it is." Devilwoman sighs as she triggers her communicator's homing signal.
Within seconds, the Manhunting Poultry, Powerhouse and Elastic Mouse all converge on Devilwoman's signal and end up near an abandoned Pakistan bowling alley. Devilwoman replies "I've already cased the building and Landen IS in there; along with literally 50 armed thugs. Manhunting Poultry and Powerhouse, you two stay out here in case Landen or any of his goons try to get out. Elastic Mouse and I are going in.".
Powerhouse asks "Isn't going in there and trying to take on those guys dangerous, DW? Defintely sounds dangerous to me.".
"Yes, it IS dangerous, Powerhouse and, please, for the love of the lord, DON'T call me "'DW'"." Devilwoman answers as she shoots an auto-retractable grapnel up to the building's roof while Elastic Mouse strecthes his way into on of the alley's mouseholes.
Devilwoman enters the building through the skylight and, while she still has the element of surprise, she tosses five smoke bombs, the extra-thick smoke from which blinds Landen's goons long enough for the feline super-crime-fighter to punch and kick fifteen of the henchmen's lights out but good. Meanwhile, Elastic Mouse uses his super-intelligence and super-stretching powers to quickly and easily disable the guns of Landen and all 50 of his thugs before Devilwoman's smoke clears. Once the smoke clears, however, Landen and his minions look rather embarassed about the fact that fifteen of their number were just taken down by one cat in a black bodysuit with matching bat-wing-like cape and full-face cowl with devil-horn-like ear-flaps. When they try to shoot the feline heroine, they find their guns have all been disabled and Landen orders his troops to attack the feline super-crime-fighter head-on.
Using a series of well-planned leaps, rolls and flips, Devilwoman expertly manuvers another ten of Landen's henchmen into accidentally taking each other out for the count while Elastic Mouse uses his super-strecthing powers to ensnare another ten of those thugs. However, Landen and the last fifteen of his henchmen head out the back way only to run into the waiting Powerhouse and Manhunting Poultry. Both using their great strength to lift two of Landen's henchmen with each wing or paw, the two heroes slam twelve of the remaining sixteen known foes together hard enough to knock them out cold. After that, the Manhunting Poultry uses his telepathic power to take down Landen himself and Powerhouse uses his heat vision to continuously give the last three thugs the old "hot foot" for about twenty seconds before literally putting the trio on ice with his super-cold-breath.
However, after that fight is over, Devilwoman and Elastic Mouse find a small hair sample and begin to quickly analyze it. To their horror, they discover that it is actually a piece of HAMSTER fur. More precisely, it is a piece of ARTIFICAL hamster fur. To be EVEN MORE precise, it is a piece of SUPER-CHARGED artifical hamster fur.
"Oh, oh! Devilwoman, are you pondering what I'M pondering?" Elastic Mouse asks nervously.
"If you mean that Landen was working under the thumb of Copy-Hamster, then yes I AM, Elastic Mouse.".
Unfortunately, the realization comes too late for Powerhouse and the Manhunting Poultry as POwerhouse is subdued by a sucker-punch with all of not only his OWN strength behind it, but also the strength of Cutie Queen, Sea Squirrel and the Manhunting Poultry as well. The Manhunting Poultry, meanwhile is taken down by a blast of heat vison combined with his OWN telepathic power mixed with Sea Squirrel's. Emerging from the shadows, the small but incredibly powerful evil genius android hamster known as Copy-Hamster chuckles as he says "So much for the two most powerful. Now I'll deal with Devilwoman and Elastic Mouse. HAHAHAHAHA!".
Copy-Hamster then enters the bowling alley and replies, "Looking for me, heroes? Well, far be it for me to keep you waiting.".
Devilwoman replies "So, Copy Hamster, you used your telepathic power to give Bin Landen the idea of dive-bombing the World-Trade Center AND the White House, though the minions missed their mark on the latter target and nailed the Pentagon instead. I figure you did it to strike terror in the heart of the so-called mightiest nation in the world.".
"Brilliant deduction, my dear Devilwoman, but I'm afraid you and Elastic Mouse aren't going to live to expose the truth. I've already soundly defeated both of your possibly available allies and there is no chance of the two of you being able to defeat sombody who has the combined might of ALL of your teammates and none of their weaknesses. Just think, Elastic Mouse, with YOUR powers you could have ALREADY conquered the world if you wanted to. However, you decided to get out of the world domination just because some lousy monks were sickeningly kind to you and restored some of your lost faith in humanity." Copy-Hamster rants.
Elastic Mouse retorts "Okay, so I'm a reformed megalomaniac. I admit it. All it means is that I've seen the error of my past ways. Apparently, though, YOU HAVEN'T.".
As Elastic Mouse and Copy-Hamster battle it out super-streching style, Devilwoman vanishes in a swirl of smoke. When Copy-Hamster lands a devastating super-strength haymaker on Elastic Mouse, the evil genius android super-hamster is about to finish his pliable arch-rival with a heat vision blast when a FMWPHT! sound gets his attention. Copy Hamster turns around to see a thick cloud of smoke with an eerie voice emitting from it.
"I AM THE HORROR THAT ROARS IN THE NIGHT!".
As Copy-Hamster charges the cloud, he gets caught in something that rapidly drains his energy. When the smoke clears, it turns out that he got ensnared in Devilwoman's spare cape, which has a trick microphone attached to it and is rigged up to wires.
When Elastic Mouse comes to, he sees the evil super-powered android hamster ensnared in the fabric of Devilwoman's spare cape and replies "I assume you trapped him in the cape I made for you; the one made of a super-top-secret specially-coded super-fabric that drains the energy of anybody wearing it except for the DESIGNATED wearer. The drained energy, in turn, strengthens the fabric itself.".
"You guessed correctly, Elastic Mouse. That IS what I used to trap him." Devilwoman admits proudly.
"But how did you get close enough to use that special "'security cape'"?".
"Simple; I didn't. I got HIM close enough for me to use it by tricking him into charging at the cape unknowningly.".
"How did you manage THAT?".
"Easy; I try so hard and so often to point out the differences between me and Darkwing Duck that Copy-Hamster didn't expect me to INTENTIONALLY take a cue from his playbook, albeit in a smarter manner than Darkwing normally does. This caught Copy-Hamster off-guard and got him confused enough to make a big mistake. Just don't tell ANYBODY I did that.".
"I see. Well, All that's left is for us to revive Powerhouse and the Manhunting Poultry, leave the captured villains for the authorities to round up, head back for the Watch/Water Tower and wait for the others to complete their tasks. Don't worry, I will NOT tell ANY of the others about the trick you used to defeat Copy-Hamster.".
*****************************************************************************************************************
Well, within a few hours, Quick Mouth, Green Gagbag, Cutie Queen and Sea Squirrel all return to the tower after completing their missions.
"Well, the villains are safely locked away, America's moral has been greatly improved and most of the building damage caused by the kamikaze jumbo jet pilots HAS been repaired. I say that qualifies as pulling truimph from tragedy." Devilwoman replies.
"Yeah, but you never told us how you beat Copy-Hamster." Sea-Squirrel comments.
"All that matters is that she DID beat the main villain almost single-handedly. It isn't important HOW. After all, the fewer people who know how she did it, the less likely it is that the villain will be able to figure out the trick and adapt to it." Elastic Mouse retorts, covering for the feline super-crime-fighter.
The End
***********************************************************************************************
Amalgams Used:
T.U.G.G. = JLA + Animaniacs
Devilwoman = Batman + Rita
Powerhouse = Superman + Runt
Quick Mouth = Flash + Yakko
Green Gagbag = Green Lantern + Wakko
Cutie Queen = Wonder Woman + Dot
Manhunting Poultry = Martian Manhunter + Chicken Boo
Sea-Squirrel = Aquaman + Slappy Squirrel
Queen MInk = Queen Bee + Minerva Mink
CEO of the Cosmos = Darkseid + CEO Plotz
Bullybird = Despero + Pesto
Copy-Hamster = Amazo + Snowball
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Note: I know the World Trade Center tragedy didn't go that way for real, but I thought this was a interesting "what-if" tale. Once more, both halves of the T.U.G.G. Amalgams are copyrighted by Warner Communications, Darkwing Duck is copyrighted by Disney and this story contained referrence to real people, so I have absolutely NO profit motive here. If anybody wants to do a T.U.G.G. story of their own, be my guest. Just give Warner Communications the proper respect.