Disclaimer: I don't own the bible or its characters.
Not historically chronologically geographically and biblically accurate.
A Prologue set in the future:
Ishmael had travelled south from Egypt through to Israel for a long personal vacation. He had enough money to lodge in the little town called Nazareth for a while. Since Ishmael was young and a wild donkey of a man it was expected that he wanted to experience the culture of the Israelites at this time of political turmoil. His mother Hagar warned him not to nose into the Israelite affairs, especially at this time when the Pharisees were becoming mean and King Herod was becoming even more oppressive than usual. Another thing concerned her,
"Ishmael dear, please don't get too involved with anyone there, men or women. I know that you have a hot temper and as a foreigner you will have to be careful not to stir the waters" Hagar warned.
"Don't worry mother, I am strong and can defend myself from burly Jewish men, in fact I hope I can wrestle with some over there."
"I'm more worried about the women who will try to allure you actually. You are very attractive to women for a good reason". A long time ago God's angel told Hagar that Ishmael would father lots and lots and lots of descendants. Delighted as she was her son was only eighteen years old and certainly too irresponsible to have many wives and children yet.
"There are many struggling women who may express interest in you. Do not go to the dilapidated local taverns where the women drink much and go for the sake of getting rich men attached to them."
Ishmael decided to visit the local tavern. He barged through the wooden doors and glared openly at all the curious customers while stomping to his chosen table. It was the only table left this busy Friday, a tiny one with only two seats and crammed into the corner of the restaurant.
Before he could put his feet up on the table top an angry looking server woman approached him. She was wearing a badge reading 'Manager: Martha'.
"Are you the bride?" this Martha asked with crossed arms and that sour faced expression.
"No, I'm just here for a barrel of wine and a wrestling match if anyone's up for it" he answered back. For the life of him he could not understand why everyone in the vicinity had gone silent and were staring at him. Some of them even had their mouths hanging open. Were Nazarenes usually this racist against foreign travelers?
"This table is reserved for Jesus and his bride until the night closes. You will have to sit on another table, no negotiations." Martha said.
"Well this Jesus isn't here yet is he?" Ishmael sneered.
"There is no need to be so hostile."
"There is no need to be so bitter," Ishmael snapped. If these were the type of women in Nazareth then his mother had no need to fear him getting attached.
Martha looked like she would physically attack him, but a burly Jewish man came and stood beside her.
"Brother please, you have no idea how important this date is for Jesus. Move aside and sit with us brother." This man was shorter than average but something about his presence emanated a sense of authority and stubbornness that even superseded Ishmael's.
Ishmael sighed "I will sit with you and leave this date table on condition that you agree to wrestle or fight into the late hours; I am a brawler after all."
"Consider it an agreement. I am Peter. Not a brawler but I can swordfight."
As Ishmael moved to sit on Peter's table a man wearing a unique looking white robe walked into the tavern and approached his designated table. Once he sat down the pub immediately became loud with the chatter and activity typical for a Friday night. No one was staring at the former spectacle between Ishmael and Martha.
Ishmael observed this Jesus man carefully. This Jesus was just an average looking man of about thirty years old. He too was like Peter and had a commanding presence without saying much. In fact this Jesus had not said anything to anyone. Yet even to the stranger it was clear that this man was in absolute love with someone; his expression was one of peace and radiance and he was humming happily. There was hope and expectation in his eyes. Ishmael for the first time in his life was curious about a man for a reason other than challenging him for a wrestling match.
"See you are quite curious about this Jesus business. He said he is waiting for the love of his life" said Peter.
"Is he about to propose to her? Is that why he looks like that?"
"Like what?"
"No offence, but like a lovesick mule who would willingly get beaten up in every fight and brawl and even go through torture by Romans if that is what it took to be with his love. I have friends who have gone all 'Song of Solomon' on the women they like and it's kind of embarrassing. Even my dad did not look at my stepmother like that and she was comely enough to date Pharaoh at ninety years old. This Jesus looks whipped."
The men on Peter's table stared.
"My mother is Egyptian." then they nodded in understanding for everyone knew that only an Egyptian teenager would speak like that.
"It cannot be doubted that he is really committed to his beloved" Peter replied carefully.
But an hour had passed, and Jesus' date had not shown up. He still looked hopeful and expectant.
"That Jesuses wife is late!" Ishmael yelled for within that hour he had consumed a quarter barrel of wine on Peter's table. He liked his wine plus he was on vacation, and surely someone important once said that a youth should enjoy the days of his meaningless life.
"All the meaningless days of your life, all the meaningless days" Ishmael swayed and hummed. His vision was hazy but he could see Jesus looking at him thoughtfully.
"What time is it?" he asked Peter.
"Almost closing time Ishmael. You have been here for three hours. After the first hour you fell asleep on this table."
"Oh no I missed the proposal!" he yelled.
But on closer inspection he noticed something bad. Jesus was still sitting alone on that little table. Even though the cutlery and pretty chalice for his date was prepared the space where she should have been was vacant. The man himself did not look surprised or shocked, rather more dismayed. His head was hanging down and that light of happy expectation had gone out of his eyes. His hands were clasped together and he started mouthing silent words as if in prayer.
"This is too painful for me to watch. I think your Jesus friend has been stood up on his own marriage proposal date."
"Really! You think? Ingenious observation" someone replied so sarcastically.
"Judas be patient, Ishmael doesn't know it yet" Peter replied.
"How come no one is offering him any help then?" Ishmael actually felt bad for Jesus. He himself with his youthful vigor had no trouble attracting the young maidens; if one rejected him any other willing maiden would do. Unfortunately this Jesus had put his entire heart and soul into this date only to be dashed.
"Because today is the three hundred and sixty fifth day that he has come here to meet his date."
Ishmael gawked.
"After the actual first date when Jesus got rejected we thought he would never come into this tavern again, he was so shattered. But he was raised in a really noble righteous family so he's got this radical principle, that you should forgive someone seventy-times-seven times. So he is using that principle for real and promised to her that he would come back to this tavern for seventy times seven nights in row, Sabbath included. That's four hundred and ninety days he will come and wait for her here.
"Poor bugger though" one called Andrew whispered.
"You would think he would give just up and admit defeat already" one called Bartholomew sighed.
"Whoever she is doesn't deserve that grace anyway" grumbled Judas.
"Is this Jesus all there in the head?"
"Yes!" Peter got angry. "We had similar thoughts when we first found out too. We dared and made bets that he wasn't being serious and that he would give up hope. But after so much time we just came to accept that he just really adores his bride and hopes she will finally be present one of these days. He is serious."
"Great Yahweh, are you for real?! This is day three hundred and sixty five? A year?! " The men on the table nodded.
Ishmael was still trying to register Peter's statement. He could not believe it was true. How awful and tragic. He felt so unpleasant and tired suddenly.
"I'm going to back to my inn. Thank you for lending me a place on your table. I won't be coming again because I am on vacation."
"Our pleasure brother, may you learn something from this man's great love today" said Peter.
"I can't believe he would actually carry out his promise, insane man" Ishmael slurred. He stumbled towards the exit.
After Ishmael left Peter realized that the obnoxious teenager had completely forgotten about the fighting challenge with him.
Authors note:
Read Genesis 16:12 if you want to know how Ishmael's personality was developed for this chapter.