{thoughts}
________________________________________________________________________
Embracing Fate
He had somehow managed to escape from her again. She told herself she had to leave him behind and force the memories she had of him to the back of her mind.
{If he loved me, he would have come back...}
The snow fell steadily to the ground outside, making everything she could see out of the window look like it had a soft white blanket covering it.
Relena wearily got up out of her chair and rubbed her temples. She glanced at the clock mounted on the wall.
{10:30! Maybe Milliardo is right, I have been working too hard lately...}
She sighed heavily and gathered the numerous papers from her desk, which were all waiting to be looked over and given her approval. She pulled open the top drawer of her desk and was about to put the papers in when the phone rang suddenly, breaking the long silence. Startled, she dropped the papers and watched them scatter across the floor. She groaned and plopped down into her chair again.
"Yes?" she said into the phone, stifling a yawn.
"Go home, Relena." Milliardo's voice said clearly through the phone.
"I know, I was just about to." she answered.
"Good. I'm worried about you, it's obvious you're stressed out." Milliardo said, sounding tired himself.
"I'm fine, I'm leaving right now. You get some rest yourself." Relena said.
"You better." he said sternly but good-naturedly. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Milliardo." she said, saying one more goodbye before hanging up.
She looked up from the desk and thought she saw him, but sighed in disappointment when he wasn't really there.
{Heero...}
She found herself thinking about him once again, and reminded herself sadly that he didn't love her.
{He's a soldier...He's not meant for these kinds of emotions.}
Wiping away a tear, she picked up her things and locked up before leaving.
~*~The Next Day~*~
Relena sighed. She had been given the week off from her duties as Vice Foreign Minister. She sank down into her chair by the window in her house.
She didn't live with all of those servants anymore, and Pagan had stayed at the mansion with Milliardo and Noin. She liked this lifestyle...It was much simpler than before and she could do more of what she wanted.
{Now what am I supposed to do? Being alone and bored only makes my thoughts focus on him even more...}
Every time she closed her eyes, the first thing that appeared in her mind was him. His beautiful, yet cold prussian blue eyes haunted her thoughts, her dreams...At night he would seem so close because his picture was so clear in her mind...But at the same time he was so frustratingly far away.
{Why do you have to do this to me, Heero? Or am I doing this to myself?}
She opened her eyes again and stared at the motionless scenery outside. She remembered suddenly that tomorrow was Christmas Eve.
{Heero probably doesn't even know that Christmas is soon. I wish he was here to spend Christmas with me...}
Relena stood up and walked to the window, pressing her hands to the ice cold glass.
{I always believed in you, Heero...Why can't you realize how much I care for you?}
*****
"Hey, Heero!"
"..."
"Heero?"
"What, Quatre?" Heero finally replied, turning his chair to face him. Heero had been hacking away at his computer as usual, and he didn't appreciate interruptions.
Quatre gave his best innocent smile and moved closer to Heero's desk before speaking. "Did you hear about the Christmas party I'm having tomorrow?"
"I heard Duo babbling something about it the other day. Why?" Heero answered in his constant monotone.
"I wanted you to come...Why are you still working anyway? We've all been off since yesterday." Quatre said.
"Why are you working?" Heero asked.
"Had some stuff to finish up. But I'm accepting the rest of this week as my vacation." Quatre said as he pulled his jacket on over his uniform.
"Same here." Heero said, typing something on the computer and shutting it down. "Not that I have anything better to do."
"Well, you can come to my party." Quatre said, smiling brightly.
"I'll think about it." Heero said, pulling on his jacket also.
Quatre knew Heero hated it when someone kept nagging him about something, so he decided to drop that subject.
"See you later then, Heero." Quatre said, giving a quick wave before disappearing out of the door.
Heero headed torwards the door a few minutes later and locked up before leaving in his car.
*****
The phone rang and Relena picked it up quickly and answered it, wondering who it could be.
"Hi Relena, it's Quatre." the voice on the other end of the phone said.
"Oh, hi Quatre. How are you?" Relena replied, happy to hear from her friend.
"I'm fine, I just called because you never made it clear whether or not you are coming to my party tomorrow night. We'd love to have you there." Quatre said.
"I completely forgot! Yes, I'll be there tomorrow. Thanks, Quatre." Relena said.
"Wonderful, see you tomorrow night then." Quatre replied cheerfully.
"Okay, see you." Relena said. "Bye."
"Bye, Relena." Quatre said and hung up.
Relena put the phone down and sighed inwardly.
{I wonder if Heero will be there...}
Deep prussian blue eyes appeared in her mind again, teasing her and hurting her in ways she couldn't express. It was always the same feeling...Every time she thought of him, her pulse quickened and her heart did somersaults.
"I should hate him for doing this to me...But I can't, I just can't!" Relena said to herself, leaning against the desk in her room for support. "I can't hate you..."
*****
Heero finally entered his apartment and carelessly tossed his suitcase against the wall after locking the door behind him. He leaned his back against the door and slid down into a sitting position on the floor, exhaling deeply.
He wished he wouldn't have over-heard Hilde talking to Duo the other day. Had he really hurt her that badly?
::FLASHBACK::
Heero walked down the hall and heard voices coming from the other room, picking up the sound of his name in the conversation.
"She's that upset?" he heard Duo say.
"Yes...She said that last time she talked to him he completely ignored her and only said a few things back...He didn't even bother to look at her." a woman's voice said. Heero knew it was Hilde's.
"Poor Relena...When is she gonna give up on him?" Duo said.
"I don't know...Sometimes I wonder if Heero is even human. He sure doesn't have the emotions of one." Hilde sighed.
::END FLASHBACK::
Heero stood up and slowly walked over to his bed. He got ready for bed and glanced at the bedside clock that said 10:50 PM. He pulled back the sheets and jumped slightly when the phone rang.
He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Hello?" he said into the phone.
"Hey, buddy! How ya been?" replied the all-too familiar voice.
"Duo...Great, you're the last person I wanted to hear from right now." Heero said flatly.
"Well excuse me!" Duo said sarcastically, adding, "Are you going to Quatre's party tomorrow?"
"I haven't decided if I'm coming or not. Quatre was telling me about it today." Heero answered.
"You should come, Relena is-" Duo started and quickly clamped a hand over his mouth. {Oops, me and my big mouth! I'm not supposed to tell him that!}
"What?" Heero asked, thinking he had heard her name.
"Nothing...Just come to the party tomorrow or I'll personally come over and drag you there myself, OK?" Duo said.
"..."
"Well?"
"Fine, I'll be there." Heero said reluctantly.
"Good. See you tomorrow, Heero." Duo said and hung up.
Heero sighed and heard the phone click as he slowly hung it up. {What am I getting myself into now?}
~*~The Next Night, At Quatre's Party~*~
Relena stepped out of her car, wearing a long, dark blue party dress with thin straps. Quatre walked up to greet her, giving her a friendly hug, and she returned the best smile she could manage at the moment. Quatre began talking to her as he lead her into the ballroom, and she felt guilty because she was only half listening to what he was saying. Someone else was on her mind, someone whom she wasn't sure would show up or not.
She heard someone say her name and she turned around to see Hilde, Dorothy, Sally, and Sylvia Noventa, whom they had all become friends with. She smiled as she glanced at Trowa across the room. She had heard he was dating Sylvia.(AN:Is that too strange or do you think they'd be a cute couple?)
Happy to see her friends, Relena stood and talked with them for a while, finding it little comfort to the questions torturing her mind. It was, atleast, a way to help keep him off her mind for the moment.
"So..." Hilde couldn't help asking, "Is it true about you and Trowa, Sylvia?" She smiled as Sylvia blushed crimson.
Relena and the other girls watched and held back their laughter as Trowa came up and asked Sylvia to dance with him. Trowa hid a smirk behind his long bangs and led Sylvia to the dance floor as she turned an even brighter red.
One by one, the girls were all asked to dance: Dorothy by Quatre, Hilde by Duo, and Sally by Wufei who finally decided it wasn't so bad to dance with a woman, if it was formal. Relena watched the others dance and stood there beside the table alone, glancing at the door every once and a while, not really knowing why. For all she knew, he could be on one of the colonies right now, living alone with no purpose.
*****
Heero glanced around the now dimly-lit room, hearing the slow-paced music playing. He had been present for a while, Duo had made sure he was going to come. Heero saw the others dancing slowly to the soft music and turned to go back down the hallway, intending to leave without them noticing. He wouldn't admit to himself that he had hoped to see her. He made his way back outside and aimed torwards his car, hearing only the sound of the snow crunching softly underneath his feet.
"Hello, Heero."
He stopped suddenly, not needing to turn around to see who it was. He heard nothing else, and slowly turned and looked.
He had almost let himself forget how beautiful she was. He was as happy as you could get and still be Heero Yuy, but he didn't let it show on his face. He couldn't help but be a little surprised that she was here, but his expression quickly went back to being blank as usual.
"Relena." he said simply, keeping his voice calm and controlled just like it had always been.
Relena took one step closer to him, standing about three feet away. "Looks like you're the one getting surprised again, Heero."
They stood there in silence, staring eachother in the eyes. Struggling to keep her emotions bottled up inside, she looked down and away from his gaze. His eyes were so cold...It was making her feel cold just looking at them.
The freezing winter wind blew around her, making her body shiver. She looked up at Heero in pure astonishment as he slid his jacket off and wrapped it around her. She put her arms through the sleeves of the jacket, which was naturally too big for her, but very warm.
Snowflakes began to float slowly through the icey air, and she felt her face become colder as they rested on her cheeks. She watched some of the snowflakes land on Heero's thick eyelashes as he stood there in front of her, leaving little distance between them.
Before he knew what he was doing, he was putting his arms around her. He didn't know why he had done that so suddenly, but it felt good to have her so close to him. He could tell she was nervous and not sure what to expect, but he only tightened his hold on her. Just by looking into her eyes he could see the pain she was feeling.
He knew she had wanted to see him again; he had a certain annoying friend that kept him posted on all of that whether he wanted him to or not. The problem was...Heero himself didn't even know what to think of these new feelings he was experiencing. How could he be expected to have feelings about anything when he had been trained as the perfect soldier all of his life? Someone like Relena, he realized, had probably experienced feelings similar to his many times before. She had had a chance to live a normal life, around friends and family. He hadn't, and this was all like a whole new life, with no fighting, no missions to complete. Most of the time he felt lost, especially when it came to these new feelings. He made himself believe though, that after all he had gone through, surely he could handle something as simple as human emotions.
He raised a hand gently to her face, and felt his hand shake slightly. Simple human contact. How could he let himself get so nervous over something that simple? He closed his eyes and sighed, slowly opening them again and staring into Relena's eyes, which were also staring intently into his own. She had shed a tear after feeling the touch of his hand. He gingerly wiped it away with his thumb and, surprising them both, leaned down torward her. He moved his face closer to hers, their noses barely touching. She let out a small, surprised gasp as he brushed his lips against hers and kissed her shortly.
Startled, she kept her eyes locked on his. Her cheeks had become red from the harsh cold, but she was smiling warmly. She instinctively draped her arms around his neck as he kissed her again.
Thoughts raced through his mind as he gently kissed her soft lips. {What am I doing? I have to leave her alone, I shouldn't have even come here looking for her! I don't deserve her, it's not right...}
Suddenly and almost angrily, he pulled her arms from his neck and broke off their kiss abruptly. He quickly turned around and jogged to his car, starting it and slamming down on the gas pedal before he changed his mind.
{I'm sorry, Relena...It just isn't right. I don't deserve you...} he thought as he sped away.
She watched him leave, and she felt tears begin to spill over her face. "Heero, please...Please don't leave me again..."
Without even thinking about the cold, she sank down into the snow to her knees, her sobs shaking her body beyond her control.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is it, the dreaded cliffhanger...I'll have the next part out soon hopefully. Why did I have to go and start a new fic anyway? I'm not even done with my other ones yet! ^_^
________________________________________________________________________
Embracing Fate
He had somehow managed to escape from her again. She told herself she had to leave him behind and force the memories she had of him to the back of her mind.
{If he loved me, he would have come back...}
The snow fell steadily to the ground outside, making everything she could see out of the window look like it had a soft white blanket covering it.
Relena wearily got up out of her chair and rubbed her temples. She glanced at the clock mounted on the wall.
{10:30! Maybe Milliardo is right, I have been working too hard lately...}
She sighed heavily and gathered the numerous papers from her desk, which were all waiting to be looked over and given her approval. She pulled open the top drawer of her desk and was about to put the papers in when the phone rang suddenly, breaking the long silence. Startled, she dropped the papers and watched them scatter across the floor. She groaned and plopped down into her chair again.
"Yes?" she said into the phone, stifling a yawn.
"Go home, Relena." Milliardo's voice said clearly through the phone.
"I know, I was just about to." she answered.
"Good. I'm worried about you, it's obvious you're stressed out." Milliardo said, sounding tired himself.
"I'm fine, I'm leaving right now. You get some rest yourself." Relena said.
"You better." he said sternly but good-naturedly. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Milliardo." she said, saying one more goodbye before hanging up.
She looked up from the desk and thought she saw him, but sighed in disappointment when he wasn't really there.
{Heero...}
She found herself thinking about him once again, and reminded herself sadly that he didn't love her.
{He's a soldier...He's not meant for these kinds of emotions.}
Wiping away a tear, she picked up her things and locked up before leaving.
~*~The Next Day~*~
Relena sighed. She had been given the week off from her duties as Vice Foreign Minister. She sank down into her chair by the window in her house.
She didn't live with all of those servants anymore, and Pagan had stayed at the mansion with Milliardo and Noin. She liked this lifestyle...It was much simpler than before and she could do more of what she wanted.
{Now what am I supposed to do? Being alone and bored only makes my thoughts focus on him even more...}
Every time she closed her eyes, the first thing that appeared in her mind was him. His beautiful, yet cold prussian blue eyes haunted her thoughts, her dreams...At night he would seem so close because his picture was so clear in her mind...But at the same time he was so frustratingly far away.
{Why do you have to do this to me, Heero? Or am I doing this to myself?}
She opened her eyes again and stared at the motionless scenery outside. She remembered suddenly that tomorrow was Christmas Eve.
{Heero probably doesn't even know that Christmas is soon. I wish he was here to spend Christmas with me...}
Relena stood up and walked to the window, pressing her hands to the ice cold glass.
{I always believed in you, Heero...Why can't you realize how much I care for you?}
*****
"Hey, Heero!"
"..."
"Heero?"
"What, Quatre?" Heero finally replied, turning his chair to face him. Heero had been hacking away at his computer as usual, and he didn't appreciate interruptions.
Quatre gave his best innocent smile and moved closer to Heero's desk before speaking. "Did you hear about the Christmas party I'm having tomorrow?"
"I heard Duo babbling something about it the other day. Why?" Heero answered in his constant monotone.
"I wanted you to come...Why are you still working anyway? We've all been off since yesterday." Quatre said.
"Why are you working?" Heero asked.
"Had some stuff to finish up. But I'm accepting the rest of this week as my vacation." Quatre said as he pulled his jacket on over his uniform.
"Same here." Heero said, typing something on the computer and shutting it down. "Not that I have anything better to do."
"Well, you can come to my party." Quatre said, smiling brightly.
"I'll think about it." Heero said, pulling on his jacket also.
Quatre knew Heero hated it when someone kept nagging him about something, so he decided to drop that subject.
"See you later then, Heero." Quatre said, giving a quick wave before disappearing out of the door.
Heero headed torwards the door a few minutes later and locked up before leaving in his car.
*****
The phone rang and Relena picked it up quickly and answered it, wondering who it could be.
"Hi Relena, it's Quatre." the voice on the other end of the phone said.
"Oh, hi Quatre. How are you?" Relena replied, happy to hear from her friend.
"I'm fine, I just called because you never made it clear whether or not you are coming to my party tomorrow night. We'd love to have you there." Quatre said.
"I completely forgot! Yes, I'll be there tomorrow. Thanks, Quatre." Relena said.
"Wonderful, see you tomorrow night then." Quatre replied cheerfully.
"Okay, see you." Relena said. "Bye."
"Bye, Relena." Quatre said and hung up.
Relena put the phone down and sighed inwardly.
{I wonder if Heero will be there...}
Deep prussian blue eyes appeared in her mind again, teasing her and hurting her in ways she couldn't express. It was always the same feeling...Every time she thought of him, her pulse quickened and her heart did somersaults.
"I should hate him for doing this to me...But I can't, I just can't!" Relena said to herself, leaning against the desk in her room for support. "I can't hate you..."
*****
Heero finally entered his apartment and carelessly tossed his suitcase against the wall after locking the door behind him. He leaned his back against the door and slid down into a sitting position on the floor, exhaling deeply.
He wished he wouldn't have over-heard Hilde talking to Duo the other day. Had he really hurt her that badly?
::FLASHBACK::
Heero walked down the hall and heard voices coming from the other room, picking up the sound of his name in the conversation.
"She's that upset?" he heard Duo say.
"Yes...She said that last time she talked to him he completely ignored her and only said a few things back...He didn't even bother to look at her." a woman's voice said. Heero knew it was Hilde's.
"Poor Relena...When is she gonna give up on him?" Duo said.
"I don't know...Sometimes I wonder if Heero is even human. He sure doesn't have the emotions of one." Hilde sighed.
::END FLASHBACK::
Heero stood up and slowly walked over to his bed. He got ready for bed and glanced at the bedside clock that said 10:50 PM. He pulled back the sheets and jumped slightly when the phone rang.
He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Hello?" he said into the phone.
"Hey, buddy! How ya been?" replied the all-too familiar voice.
"Duo...Great, you're the last person I wanted to hear from right now." Heero said flatly.
"Well excuse me!" Duo said sarcastically, adding, "Are you going to Quatre's party tomorrow?"
"I haven't decided if I'm coming or not. Quatre was telling me about it today." Heero answered.
"You should come, Relena is-" Duo started and quickly clamped a hand over his mouth. {Oops, me and my big mouth! I'm not supposed to tell him that!}
"What?" Heero asked, thinking he had heard her name.
"Nothing...Just come to the party tomorrow or I'll personally come over and drag you there myself, OK?" Duo said.
"..."
"Well?"
"Fine, I'll be there." Heero said reluctantly.
"Good. See you tomorrow, Heero." Duo said and hung up.
Heero sighed and heard the phone click as he slowly hung it up. {What am I getting myself into now?}
~*~The Next Night, At Quatre's Party~*~
Relena stepped out of her car, wearing a long, dark blue party dress with thin straps. Quatre walked up to greet her, giving her a friendly hug, and she returned the best smile she could manage at the moment. Quatre began talking to her as he lead her into the ballroom, and she felt guilty because she was only half listening to what he was saying. Someone else was on her mind, someone whom she wasn't sure would show up or not.
She heard someone say her name and she turned around to see Hilde, Dorothy, Sally, and Sylvia Noventa, whom they had all become friends with. She smiled as she glanced at Trowa across the room. She had heard he was dating Sylvia.(AN:Is that too strange or do you think they'd be a cute couple?)
Happy to see her friends, Relena stood and talked with them for a while, finding it little comfort to the questions torturing her mind. It was, atleast, a way to help keep him off her mind for the moment.
"So..." Hilde couldn't help asking, "Is it true about you and Trowa, Sylvia?" She smiled as Sylvia blushed crimson.
Relena and the other girls watched and held back their laughter as Trowa came up and asked Sylvia to dance with him. Trowa hid a smirk behind his long bangs and led Sylvia to the dance floor as she turned an even brighter red.
One by one, the girls were all asked to dance: Dorothy by Quatre, Hilde by Duo, and Sally by Wufei who finally decided it wasn't so bad to dance with a woman, if it was formal. Relena watched the others dance and stood there beside the table alone, glancing at the door every once and a while, not really knowing why. For all she knew, he could be on one of the colonies right now, living alone with no purpose.
*****
Heero glanced around the now dimly-lit room, hearing the slow-paced music playing. He had been present for a while, Duo had made sure he was going to come. Heero saw the others dancing slowly to the soft music and turned to go back down the hallway, intending to leave without them noticing. He wouldn't admit to himself that he had hoped to see her. He made his way back outside and aimed torwards his car, hearing only the sound of the snow crunching softly underneath his feet.
"Hello, Heero."
He stopped suddenly, not needing to turn around to see who it was. He heard nothing else, and slowly turned and looked.
He had almost let himself forget how beautiful she was. He was as happy as you could get and still be Heero Yuy, but he didn't let it show on his face. He couldn't help but be a little surprised that she was here, but his expression quickly went back to being blank as usual.
"Relena." he said simply, keeping his voice calm and controlled just like it had always been.
Relena took one step closer to him, standing about three feet away. "Looks like you're the one getting surprised again, Heero."
They stood there in silence, staring eachother in the eyes. Struggling to keep her emotions bottled up inside, she looked down and away from his gaze. His eyes were so cold...It was making her feel cold just looking at them.
The freezing winter wind blew around her, making her body shiver. She looked up at Heero in pure astonishment as he slid his jacket off and wrapped it around her. She put her arms through the sleeves of the jacket, which was naturally too big for her, but very warm.
Snowflakes began to float slowly through the icey air, and she felt her face become colder as they rested on her cheeks. She watched some of the snowflakes land on Heero's thick eyelashes as he stood there in front of her, leaving little distance between them.
Before he knew what he was doing, he was putting his arms around her. He didn't know why he had done that so suddenly, but it felt good to have her so close to him. He could tell she was nervous and not sure what to expect, but he only tightened his hold on her. Just by looking into her eyes he could see the pain she was feeling.
He knew she had wanted to see him again; he had a certain annoying friend that kept him posted on all of that whether he wanted him to or not. The problem was...Heero himself didn't even know what to think of these new feelings he was experiencing. How could he be expected to have feelings about anything when he had been trained as the perfect soldier all of his life? Someone like Relena, he realized, had probably experienced feelings similar to his many times before. She had had a chance to live a normal life, around friends and family. He hadn't, and this was all like a whole new life, with no fighting, no missions to complete. Most of the time he felt lost, especially when it came to these new feelings. He made himself believe though, that after all he had gone through, surely he could handle something as simple as human emotions.
He raised a hand gently to her face, and felt his hand shake slightly. Simple human contact. How could he let himself get so nervous over something that simple? He closed his eyes and sighed, slowly opening them again and staring into Relena's eyes, which were also staring intently into his own. She had shed a tear after feeling the touch of his hand. He gingerly wiped it away with his thumb and, surprising them both, leaned down torward her. He moved his face closer to hers, their noses barely touching. She let out a small, surprised gasp as he brushed his lips against hers and kissed her shortly.
Startled, she kept her eyes locked on his. Her cheeks had become red from the harsh cold, but she was smiling warmly. She instinctively draped her arms around his neck as he kissed her again.
Thoughts raced through his mind as he gently kissed her soft lips. {What am I doing? I have to leave her alone, I shouldn't have even come here looking for her! I don't deserve her, it's not right...}
Suddenly and almost angrily, he pulled her arms from his neck and broke off their kiss abruptly. He quickly turned around and jogged to his car, starting it and slamming down on the gas pedal before he changed his mind.
{I'm sorry, Relena...It just isn't right. I don't deserve you...} he thought as he sped away.
She watched him leave, and she felt tears begin to spill over her face. "Heero, please...Please don't leave me again..."
Without even thinking about the cold, she sank down into the snow to her knees, her sobs shaking her body beyond her control.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is it, the dreaded cliffhanger...I'll have the next part out soon hopefully. Why did I have to go and start a new fic anyway? I'm not even done with my other ones yet! ^_^