(A/N: first in my stupid one-shot series of Harry Potter encounters. I don't know why I got this idea, I just did. Read and Enjoy!)
DISCLAIMER: I OWN ABSOLUTLY NOTHING BUT THE PLOT AND THE EVIL DEMONIC SQURREL!
It was a normal day at Hogwarts. The Golden Trio was loaded down on homework, and certain ones (coughcoughharryandron) were behind. They were starting on their insane Divination work when a faint "tip tap" was on the window. They ignored it. It grew louder. "Tip tap". They looked at the window. "TIP TAP GRRRR"!
"Oh my gosh, it's a cute little squirrel!" Hermione said, reaching over to let it in.
"Hermione… don't do that," Harry said, and Ron thank.
"Why, it's a innocent squirrel, it's not like it wants to kill us."
Unfortunately, there was a miniature wand in the squirrel's paws. "AVADA KADARVA!" it yelled in its squeaky little voice.
It did hit Ron, but it didn't hurt him, just blew him back a few paces.
"Oh my gosh, it's one of VOLDEMORT'S SQUIRRELS! IT WANTS TO KILL US ALL WITH IT TINY LITTLE WAND AND IT'S TINY LITTLE KILLING CURSE!" Ron said, sarcastically.
"Yes, I do. You shall die. And so will the rest of mankind. THE WORLD SHALL BE MINE!" the squirrel said.
"Oh, really, only if you can get out of my cage. Arcantasa cage!" Hermione conjured a small, squirrel-sized cage over the squirrel.
"Oh, you think your human magic will stop me, do you?" the squirrel started fumbling with the lock.
"HAHA! THE SQUIRREL DOESN'T HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ron yelled out.
"Engorjia Silencio!" Ron was silenced with an extra powerful silencing spell by the squirrel. "Engorjia Alhohamora!" the lock popped open.
"AHHHAHAHAHAH! THE WORLD SHALL BE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!"
"Hermione, will you help me do the honors?"
"Yes, I will Harry, if Ron agrees to help."
"Yup!"
Ron went to the window and opened it a crack.
Harry lights his wand on fire and set it to the squirrels tail.
"Wingardium leviosa!" Hermione levitates the flaming squirrel, and flies it to the window, just enough under so that it can be shut.
BANG! The window was shut and the squirrel died. (I won't go into detail for the sake of the queasy readers.)
"That's that."
"Actually, not completely."
A little squirrel came to the window and climbed in, for Ron (being the idiot he is) left it open.
"You killed my brother. PREPARE TO BE SMITTED!"
"BLOODY HELL!"
"Oh, grow up Ronald," Hermione said.
"Hermione, look further out the windows."
She did, and what she saw was…
"OH MY GOD! THERE ARE ABOUT FIFTY MILLION SQUIRRELS WHO WANT TO KILL US ALL!"
Now, if the trio survived, the world may never know…
Hahahaha! I won't do that to you. I'll finish.
"PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE!"
"What is it, Mr. Weasley?"
"IT'S WORSE THAN THE SPIDERS!"
"Oh, dear. I DECLAIR WAR ON THE SQUIRRELS!" Dumbledore exclaimed.
He whipped out his wand and blew up over half of the squirrels in less than a second. BOOM! There went the other half.
"Well, that's that," said Dumbledore leaving the room.
Just then, Ginny came down.
"Oh my gosh! What happened?" she nearly screamed.
"I'll tell you later," said Harry, pulling her into a long, passionate kiss.
"HARRY! COULD YOU NOT DO THAT INFRONT OF ME?" Ron screamed shielding his eyes.
"Oh, Ronald," Hermione said, leaning closer…and closer…and closer…
The next second, it was a snog fest in the Gryffindor Common room. No one, except Harry, Ron, and Hermione, would ever know about the Evil Demonic Squirrel That Wanted to Kill Them All. Other than Dumbledore, of course. Harry never did tell Ginny, they were too busy snogging.
THE END!
(A/N: I know, it was sappy at the end. But hey, it was all I could think of. Here's a contest: I'll let you guys review on what you want the next one-shot in the series to be. I will choose the one my friends vote for. You have until next Saturday, May 27, I believe. Don't count on an update for at least a week after that. Oh, yeah, I'll hold these contests after every one-shot I do. In this series, at least. THANKS FOR READING PART 1 OF A LONG SERIES!)