Flipside- Out of My Mind
By Sanguinary
Rated: PG
Want it for your site? Ask and you shall recive.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer and it's charcter and plot-lines do not belong to me. Only my
warped world view and twisted sense of humor are truly mine.

Plot: What if Spike wasn't the one who was dreaming at the end of Out of My Mind?

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I ran across the grass, not listening to the soft crunching noise it made beneath my feet.
I had only one thing on my mind. There was no turning back this time. I was more than
angry at him, I had passed that about the time Riley was sewn up.

Spike was going to die.

Tombstones flew by in a blur as I approached his crypt. My mind had been made up and
I was going to finish a job I had started a long time ago.

I banged on the door, giving him time to get up. I wasn't planning to stake him while he
was asleep. I wanted to see the look on his face, see the panic in his eyes, the realization
on his face when he knows that he won't escape this time.

I want him to beg.

I flung the door open and marched into the stone chamber that Spike called his home. It
was obvious from the look on his face that he had been excepting me for some time.
Good not to disappoint him.

"Should have known it's you. Been nearly six hours." He stands, his usually cockiness
showing. I can't wait to get rid of it.

"Well, it would have been less if I wasn't busy cleaning up your mess."

"*My* mess? I just *borrowed* the doc. The mess is yours, Slayer. Yours and the boy's."
He thinks this is just a game. That it's not serious.

"I'm done." Not this time. I pull the stake out of my back pocket, savoring the expression
of shock and surprise on his face. "Spike, you're a killer. And I shoulda done this *years*
ago."

Spike looks me in the eye. "You know what? Do it. Bloody just do it."

I stop for a moment. "What?"

"End. My. Torment. Seeing you, every day, everywhere I go, every time I turn around.
Take me ... out of a world ... that has you in it!" He yanks off his shirt and throws it
aside, "Just kill me!"

Funny, I wanted him to beg. But what was it he said one time. That's right, 'you don't
look like the begging type'.

And neither does he.

I can't help but stare at him for a second. I raise my stake and lunge at him. He winces and
I bring my arm down. This time he's dust. This time he won't be back to annoy me. This time...

But I stop.

I stop at the last minute. The last second. And I look into his eyes, those ice-blue eyes. And
find them staring into mine.

Suddenly he grabs my upper arms and kisses me. Not just a little peck or a brush against the
cheek. A heart-stopping, earth-shaking kiss that blows my mind. And I realize that I am
kissing him back. Oh god! I'm kissing him back!

I pull back, putting my hand up to my face. My stake is gone, dropped to the floor. I stare at
him, looking for that cruel smile, wanting to know if this was for real or just a last ditch
effort to confuse and stop me. But his eyes have the same look they did when we were under the
spell.The look he gave me each time we talked about marriage and living together. That same
longing, loving look that yanks on my soul and tells me that what he feels is real.


And what I'm feeling is real as well.

I slowly drop the hand from my mouth and walk back towards Spike. I reach up, putting both
of my hands to the back of his head and I pull him down toward me. We kiss again, more
passionately than before. And I can't help it. I want to keep kissing him. I feel Spike bring
his hands up to clutch my back. He kisses my cheek and then moves to the side of my neck.

I gasp for breath. "Spike ... I want you." I want him more that I can help. I want to feel his
cool lips against mine, his hand in my hair. I want to wrap myself up in him and just forget
everything else.

"Buffy, I love you." His voice is somewhat muffled by my neck but I hear the words clear
enough. He pulls back to look me at me, eye to eye. "God, I love you so much." And my heart
is soaring, I'm floating among the clouds!

HE LOVES ME!

Suddenly I wake up with a gasp. Riley is lying beside me, sound asleep. It was a dream.

"Oh, god, no." A look of horror flashes across my face as I realize that I've been lying to
myself. I don't love Riley, I never loved Riley.

I love Spike.

"Please, no."

And he hates me.

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