Disclaimer: I don't own X-Files, Most of the shows mentioned on Mulder's DVR, the show he was watching, or the lyrics to the Kissables commercial. Truthfully, I didn't get the lyrics right, but who can honestly tell what they are?
TV
When Scully didn't hear from Mulder on Friday night of their weekend off, she didn't think much about it, if she thought about it at all. When she didn't get a call from him on Saturday about some random case, she shrugged it off. But by Sunday, when she found he hadn't returned any of her calls, responded to any of her e-mails, of answered his cell phone, she got a tad worried. "I have a life outside of Mulder," she told herself, but she decided to go check on his apartment, just in case.
Stepping over the pile of mail on the doorstep, Scully knocked on the door of apartment 42. There were several weird noises comeing from inside, but she disregarded them when she noticed music I the background. Mulder had probably just left the TV on. When no one came to answer the door, she knocked again, this time louder.
"'Sopen," came Mulder's voice. Scully opened the door and found something she didn't expect.
Laying on the couch/bed amongst several pizza boxes, pop cans, and candy wrappers was a Mulder that looked like he hadn't bathed or changed his clothes since he got off work on Friday.
"Mulder?" said Scully, appalled.
"Oh, hey Scully. I was just…watching TV."
"For how long?"
"Couple hours, I think," he checked his watch and looked confused, "That's strange. I started watching at seven pm, but my watch says it still is seven. What day is it?"
"Sunday."
"Seriously?"
"Yep."
"Crap."
There was something Scully still wanted to know, and she inquired about it. "Mulder, do you want to tell me why you've been sitting in front of your TV which, need I remind you, has three channels, for two days?"
"I was persuaded to get digital cable and DVR. It is the coolest thing. Check this out." Mulder pulled the remote out from under a pizza box, paused the show he was watching, and rewound through some commercials. He hit play, and a voice said, 'We will return to 'Conspiracies-The Kennedy Assassination' on the Discovery Channel." A commercial started, and Mulder paused hurriedly.
"I love this one! Watch!" He hit play, and sang along with the song.
"Kissables, missables, inable, outable, friendable, shareable, eatable, treatable, colorful candyshell, colorful candyshell, colorful candy shell, chocolate inside! Kissables Hershey's chocolate! Now it fits in your pocket! Everything everyone wishes! Something chocolate kisses! Kissables, Hey! KISSABLES!"
Mulder smiled triumphantly, and Scully looked at him with an expression of shocked embarrassment.
"What? Don't you like that one?"
Scully snatched the remote and pressed the button that lets you see what you've recorded. "Let's see what you have here…'Aliens at Roswell', 'Texas's Roswell', 'Opus Dei- Unveiled', 'Russia's Roswell', 'Bigfoot', Mulder, you desperately need a life. 'Ghost Hunters', 'Ghost Hunters', 'Tremors'? 'Ghost Hunters' again.., 'The Ellen Degeneres Show'? Come on, Mulder!'
"That…that one had a psychic on it."
"That doesn't explain the Teletubbies."
"That was a test. I was figuring out how to work it, and haven't gotten around to deleting it."
Scully switched off the TV. "Hey!" protested Mulder. She then opened up the shades, the dying sun shining on the room and it's garbage that hadn't seen light in God knows how long.
"We're getting you out of this apartment before this weekend's over. Go shower and get dressed. I'm calling the Lone Gunmen so we can all go out for cheese steak."
Mulder groaned. "Can't we all just stay here and watch the Food Network in hi-def?"