Ghirahim could not have been more pleased.
He had been out in the field capturing minor outposts along with the other generals, when a messenger arrives with a summons from their master, Lord Ganondorf. He smirked to himself as the messenger left, then teleported in a veil of scarlet diamonds to the other to the other side of Hyrule field where Zant was taking over a keep of his own. Ghirahim crossed his arms and gave a small nod as he surveyed his associate's work from the rafters. Knights of Hyrule littered the floor, and Zant was doing a victory dance on their strategy table.
Ghirahim jumped down and landed at the other end of the table with the grace of a twisted swan.
"Excellent work you've done here," Ghirahim said, "I do so admire the... Passion you put into your work."
The Usurper king froze mid-dance, then whipped around to face him.
"Ghirahim, it's unlike you to dole out praise." Zant said.
Ghirahim laughed and gave his hair a flip.
"I just think it's fascinating that you seem to love your work so much. You are truly an inspiration to those with lackluster performance."
Zant puffed out his chest a little, but he remained wary of the Demon Lord's seemingly kind words. Ghirahim stepped over the Hylian's maps and plans of attack scattered across the table and patted Zant on the shoulder.
"I can think of no one better to take care of my menial duties while I'm off to respond to a personal summons from master Ganondorf." Said Ghirahim with a grin.
"Eh? Eh?!" Zant said, his voice quickly escalating to a screech. "Lord Ganondorf asked for you?! Why you and not his most loyal general!" Ghirahim covered his ears and grimaced.
"Perhaps his tolerance for your ear-shattering yowls is as low as mine." He said with a grunt. He turned away from Zant. "Now, maybe you can convince him to look past your glaring flaws if you do some extra work. A few keeps from my sector are still under Hylian control, why don't you make yourself useful and take care of those?"
He let down and scooped up a few pages of attack strategies off the table. He brushed them off and added,
"And try not to get any more footprints on our intell. Got it?" He snapped his fingers, leaving in another cloud of diamonds before Zant could retort.
In the blink of an eye, Ghirahim was transported deep into the heart of Ganondorf's base of operations. Bokoblins stood nearby, throwing handfuls of sand in each other's eyes and laughing when the others yowled in pain. He rolled his eyes at their behavior as he tucked the papers under his arm. He walked towards the center of camp, past bulblins huddled around a campfire, and darknuts taking a rest in tents. When he made it to the biggest tent in the camp, he knocked on the flaps of the tent as if a door and waited for word from inside.
"Come in." A gruff voice from inside said. Ghirahim brushed aside the flap with his free arm and walked inside. The inside had a patchwork of large woven carpets that made up a floor to keep the things inside from sinking into the sand below, like the bed that took up a large portion of the space, or the table crammed into the corner next to it with a hulking man hunched over it. Ghirahim squeezed himself in the small space between the bed and the desk, and tossed the plans on the table alongside a pile of others.
"The spoils of our latest capture in Hyrule field." Ghirahim said.
Ganondorf took them and read over them as he buried a hand in his massive mane of red hair. His eyes skimmed over the pages, grunting turning into growls as he looked it over. Finally he let out a frustrated roar and threw the papers over his shoulder.
"These Hylians are giving us the run 'round. Not a one of these orders from any of any of these keeps match with each other, so it's impossible to know what they're planning."
"Now now my lord." Said Ghirahim. "I'm sure we can figure out what they're up to before they cause us any trouble." He sat down on the bed and crossed his legs, sitting up straight even as it sagged beneath him. Ganon flung his arm over the back of his chair as he turned to face his general.
"Of course we will." He said with a grunt. He pointed at Ghirahim and almost poked him in the chest. "Because you're going to infiltrate Hyrule castle and figure it out."
Ghirahim's eyes lit up and he clutched his chest.
"A special mission from my master?" He grinned and stood up, bowing as best he could in the limited space. "I will leave immediately!"
"Then do so. Make sure you aren't seen."
Ghirahim raised his hand to snap his fingers, but Ganondorf grabbed his hand to stop him.
"Ghirahim." He said. "No detours this time. Anger makes Zant's work sloppy." He waved a paper with a large footprint on it at is underling. Ghirahim's smile fell, and he shook off Ganondorf's hand.
"My lord, you have a knack for ruining all my fun." And with another, more curt bow, he was gone again.
Ghirahim stood on the railing of one of the balconies of Hyrule Castle, surveying the area for an entry point. He had been able to warp here with ease, but he had never seen inside so he had to find an entrance of his own. The room they used for strategizing would likely be in the heart of the castle. He just had to find the path that would be the least likely to be guarded. Ghirahim sighed. None of the options sounded ideal. He could go in through what seemed to be a servant's entrance near the back, but said servants would likely call for help as soon as he was seen. The front entrance was out as well, and the door by the knight's training grounds was just foolish. Which left a window as his most likely way in.
He was surveying the area for a likely candidate, when suddenly the glass doors behind him clicked open and a sweet voice asked,
"What are you doing out here all by yourself, Mr. Jewel beetle?"
Ghirahim spun on his heels, and found a small girl in a large dress standing behind him. Ghirahim mentally cursed himself for being so careless. The door had been closed and the curtains drawn when he arrived, so he hadn't given it a second thought. Now he was caught by a doe eyed child with pigtails.
"Oh, I know." She said with a smile, "You must have heard about my tea party. If that's the case, you're welcome to come right in."
"Tea party?" Ghirahim questioned with a non-existent raised eyebrow.
She didn't seem to know that he was the enemy. He could use this to his advantage.
He could chat her up over a warm beverage, and perhaps pry some information out of her. Of course, a girl her age wasn't likely to know battle strategies, but she might have something to offer about the layout. Children do have a tendency to explore when left unattended.
"Of course." Ghirahim said smoothly, tipping himself into a bow. "Forgive me for not coming in the front door, but I got a touch lost on my way here."
"Oh lovely. Thank you so much for coming. I may have my subjects to keep me company, but they aren't terribly chatty. And with Mr. Grasshopper and the others off fighting, I'm the only one to keeping the conversation lively."
She was already proving herself useful. Now, he knew that the others were all away, leaving him to explore the castle at his leisure.
Now all he had to do was play along until an opportunity to slip away presented itself.
Ghirahim put a hand over his chest and added a note of sympathy to his voice as he said,
"That must be terribly draining. I thank you for your efforts, Lady...?"
"Agitha. Princess Agitha." She said, holding the back of her hand out to him. He took it gently and kissed it, making her break out in a big grin with a light dusting of a blush on her cheeks. From her reaction, she obviously had difficulty getting others to indulge her. And who would? Why treat a little girl like a princess when you have a real one to worry about? It seemed to be getting easier and easier.
"We really shouldn't keep the other guests waiting any longer." Agitha said. "Come in, come in." She spun around and walked back into the castle. Ghirahim strutted after her, confident in how things were going. But he froze as soon as he got a good look at the room.
Bugs.
There were bugs.
Everywhere.
Ghirahim's back went rigged. Agitha seemed to think nothing of them, simply shooing them off her seat so she could sit down at the small table in the middle of the room. Ghirahim took a deep breath and faked a grin.
He could do this.
He could do anything that was required of him.
Even if it meant having tea with all these vile insects crawling all over everything. He made his way over to the table, avoiding the little nasties that were on the floor, and shuttered as the grasshoppers that were on the other seat leapt in his direction. He sat down and crossed his legs, folding his hands in his lap.
"Your room is so... Lively." He said through gritted teeth. "I was not aware that roaches liked tea." Agitha let out a giggle as she filled his cup and said,
"There's no roaches here, Mr. Jewel Beetle. They get a little too rowdy for classy events like this. They prefer open houses." She took a sip from her cup just as a butterfly landed on his, planning to do the same. Ghirahim quickly swatted at it to get it away, making sure not to hurt it and upset the girl. It fluttered it's delicate blue wings, carrying itself up and onto his shoulder. Ghirahim's blood curdled. His shoulder felt like it was frozen and on fire at the same time. He turned his head, and the bug stared him down. As if it knew what he was planning on doing.
"Oh! Ms. Blessed butterfly seems to like you!" Agitha said, smiling. "They say that the goddesses give blessings to those it lands on. That's how she got her name."
Ghirahim reached for his cup with a mutter of, "I doubt that." And took a sip of his tea.
And spit it right back out.
"What is this swill?! I thought you were serving tea!" Ghirahim looked down in disgust at his cup. It looked like tea, but what had assaulted his senses was nothing more than lukewarm sugar water. Agitha turned red and fiddled with her hands in her lap. Ghirahim glared at her until she was staring at the floor to avoid his gaze. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I... I don't know how to make real tea." She whispered. "I've tried, but I always do it wrong and it's too bitter to drink. The teapot is sugar water, like what I feed to the butterflies."
The Blessed butterfly that Ghirahim had forgotten about in his outbursts finally left his shoulder and flew over to Agitha. It landed on her hand, and Agitha visibly relaxed. "I don't mind drinking it, even if it's a little too sweet for me. The bugs are happier with my tea parties when I serve it, so I'm happy." She lifted a finger delicately and nudged the Blessed butterfly onto the edge of her cup. She sat back in her chair and looked up at Ghirahim.
"If you don't like it, you don't have to stay. I understand." She said with a smile.
Ghirahim scowled at her for a minute, but she just kept smiling. Finally he stood up, walked stiffly over to the door, and swung it open.
"Lead me to the kitchen."
"Hm?"
"You know where it is, don't you? Take me there. And bring your tea set."
Agitha looked at him with a confused expression, but stood up and gently packed her tea set into a basket. She walked past Ghirahim out the door, and he followed. He followed her down several hallways and past various doors, some of which he wondered led the way to his original objective, but he kept following her. Several staircases later, they were in a grand kitchen that suited the massive castle. Inside there were various chiefs bustling around, but one of them caught sight of Ghirahim and screamed. The others looked to see what the fuss was about, and they screamed too while making a mad dash for one of the doors. Ghirahim snapped his fingers, summoning shadow boublins to guard the doors. Every member of the staff froze in place, looking around like a herd of terrified sheep. Ghirahim stepped forward, causing a ripple through the crowd as they all stepped back.
He asked, "Where might I find a water kettle and some black tea leaves?"
The crowd muttered among themselves before pushing forward a particularly terrified young cook. He was shaking as he scurried around the kitchen. He opened cabinet after cabinet until he found the requested items. He brought them back to Ghirahim and held them out. Ghirahim took them. He walked over to one of the barrels of cooking water, and filled the kettle. He walked over to one of the unattended wood stoves, and set the kettle on it. He set the tea leaves down nearby and turned back around to face the crowd.
"If you want to have supper ready for your troops by the time they get back, you'd better get to work. Anyone tries to leave, and they will be cut down." He turned to Agitha and motioned for her to come over. She hugged her basket to her chest, crossing the room as the chiefs slowly went back to work. He took the basket from her and set it next to the tea leaves before taking out the teapot and emptying it into the closest receptacle.
"What are we doing exactly?" Agitha asked, already sure what the answer was.
"If you use your brain and put the clues together, it should be obvious that I'm teaching you how to make tea."
"But... Why?"
Ghirahim stopped wiping out the inside of the teapot. He gently set it down before replying.
"Tea is one of the few civilized things I still partake in. I can't just let someone go on drinking this travesty of a substitute. I find the very thought repulsive."
A huge smile split its way across Agitha's face as Ghirahim checked on the fire.
The next hour, Ghirahim spent teaching Agitha how to hot the water needed to be, how long different kinds of teas needed to be brewed, and what the best snacks to serve with them were. By the end, Agitha's head was so stuffed with knowledge about tea she didn't think she'd ever have room for anything else. But, as they sat and enjoyed the fruits of their labor, she was happy.
"Thank you, Mr. Jewel Beetle." She said as she set down her cup. The kitchen staff had finally used to them and the bustle around them was in full force, forcing them to almost shout to hear each other. "I haven't had tea like this in quite a while."
"You're welcome." Ghirahim said as he took another sip. "Now, this may be me prying, but who made tea for you before? You don't know how to make it, but you do have a taste for it."
Agitha smiled, "Oh, my seamstress did. Whenever I went to pick up a new dress, she'd invite me to sit with her and drink some." She poured herself some more tea from the pot as she continued. "Since I came here, everyone's been to busy to help me. I haven't had any in weeks. I didn't realize I'd missed it so much."
"I haven't had a chance to drink much either. With a war going on, there's not much time for simple pleasures."
She nodded and took a sip of the tea. She smiled again, " You know, Mr. Jewel Beetle? For one of the bad guys, you're not such a bad guy."
Ghirahim sat bolt upright in his chair. "You knew that I was the enemy? And you just invited me into the castle?"
"Of course, you think that Mr. Grasshopper would let me fight with him if I didn't even know who the enemy was?" Agitha giggled and stuck up her nose with a proud grin. "They left me behind today because they worry, but I can take care of myself just fine."
Ghirahim chuckled. "I'm sure you can. I'll have to watch out if our paths cross again."
Just then, the door to the kitchen slammed open and the hero of Hyrule burst through. Ghirahim cursed himself for getting too relaxed. He hadn't even noticed that the bokoblins had disappeared, and the kitchen staff had sent someone to go get help. Link charged at him, but Ghirahim simply snapped his fingers and formed a barrier between them. As Link slammed into the barrier, Ghirahim decided it was time to take his leave.
"Thank you for the tea, my lady." Ghirahim said with a bow. "It was truly refreshing."
"And thank you, Mr. Jewel beetle, for teaching me." She said, curtsying to him.
And by the time she had straightened herself again, all that was left of him was a few dissipating scarlet diamonds.