New Life

by rakenrol

One day, as I was running down the market, I bumped against this guy with red hair and a scar on his left cheek. But who could have known he - as well as his friends - would play a big part in my life? (WARNING : MAJOR SELF INSERTION^^)

1. Midst of the Icy Water

New Life
Chapter 1 : Midst of the Icy Water
a Rurouni Kenshin Fanfiction
by : Sakeena deathstalkker@yahoo.com>

Legal disclaimers apply to all anime.

***** Please note : This fic contains major self-insertion. If you don't like it, don't read it ^__^ Takes place in my alternative RK universe ^^ Actually, this is quite different from most of my fanfics, from the writing, from the way the story goes...ughh...maybe some kind of an experiment for me.. Dunno. ^__^****

I was running down the market one afternoon when I bumped to this guy - blue eyes red hair, a scar on is left cheek and a mild surprise written on his face. Even though he looked kind of ...well..kind ( geez..whatta nice way to describe him ! ), I didn't had the nerve to run up to him and ask his help. I guess that was what the samurais refer to as pride ...or.. what's the other one again??...oh, honor. I could not be really sure, though. No one among those who raised me in my early years seemed to possess that so-called pride, much more, honor. Well, I don't really consider anybody raised me...I was on my own. Still am on my own....and on my way to the real meaning of pride and honor. Life becomes more fun that way, no? When you learn things the hard way. Although sometimes, it could be really harsh. Anyway, I didn't really expect that the person who I bumped into and haughtily refused to apologize to was the main creature who could teach me the real meaning of pride and honor. But I guess life was full of surprises. The girl beside him who had a long dark hair was sweet-looking but her temper was definitely otherwise. She was even a lot more hot tempered than he was and could not contain her annoyance to herself and proved it by shouting curses at me. But not even her sharp words halted me in my way.

You may wonder why I was so in a big hurry that i neither stopped nor paused to my victims right in front of my way to react to their various replies to my recklessness. I was actually after that guy who was doing apparitions to me, appearing and vanishing like a bubble after saying the littlest words ever for the past week. Speaking was probably a sin to him, but I didn't care. He seemed to know something I really wanted and I was determined to open his tightly shut mouth ,no matter what. "Wait!" I begged him, panting. It was hard to believe I was having a hard time catching up on him. I was fast, but he was faster. It really sucked. As far as I know, I ran faster than most women my age..and if you don't mind my pride...even most men. But there I was.... panting for breath begging him to stop. He was skipping from one tree to a roof then to another tree , almost effortlessly. Aside from that, he wore thick garments that covered his whole body and a large straw hat that concealed his face. I wondered how his hat remained sitting undisturbed on his head like that. It must be glued or something, or else it would have fallen at his exceptional speed.

"Stop , ok?" I demanded. I was getting sick of begging. I was not really the ordinary type of damsel in distress who waits to be rescued by some knights in shining armor. Waiting was not in my vocabulary. As much as circumstances allows, force was my way of life. I say what I want to say, do what I want to do and get whatever was the object of my desire. At least, as far as the range of my forces was concerned. But that guy ...he was obviously giving me a hard time. And I was hating it. Really hating it.

I caught up on him right before the river when all things seemed to have been put to stop by the strong clear water, which in a way, you had to admit, was also the main source of life that made things go around. Apparently, there was no tree or roof in sight that could aide him in crossing the river at the same time keeping a safe distance from me. Annoying was the word I could think of to describe him. He had been appearing to me for, like since the day before the day before the day before yesterday, giving hints and clues, saying as little words as possible. I got the feeling that he was enjoying having such a fine woman like me chasing after him like an idiot. I knew that, but I needed the information he had. Nowadays, not only are the looks or the brains were the way to get a woman after you, but also information. I wonder who was that guy who had said that knowledge was power? It was making a complete sense . Oh, you know -- men using what they know to spice up their sex appeal. Guh. Maybe now, even information could replace sex appeals.

I scratched my head, inhaling as much air my lungs could possibly accommodate. Although that action gave him an opportunity to escape from me, the air refreshed my energy and, of course... my confidence ^_^ He , after shifting his gaze to different directions, headed to somewhere left, running to the direction of the currents of the water of the river. I knew I could catch up on him this time. I just had to.

"Mr. ! You're making me mad! Don't make me go after you like this! This is no behavior of a man!" I yelled at him, bumping to the people in the way with high hopes it would work. But I guess that was stupid. After all, he was nothing "like a man". Or , at least, the type of man I was referring to. My choice of words didn't stop him, of course. What would I expect? Maybe if he had such a big mouth he would have retorted to me, "Well, that is no behavior of a woman!" and he'd stare at me, amused to see a woman running. But I was only 17. What the hell was wrong with that? I mean, I did have feet to use for my running. But maybe it was much better if he just shut up, like what he was doing that minute.....only running. grrrrrr.

"Watch where you're going, lady!" a man barked at me. As usual, I didn't apologize for bumping to them. I always had this notion that I don't commit mistakes and every bad thing that happen to me is accountable by another person. Yeah. You could say I was stubborn. But what do you expect from me? I, a seventeen year old girl whose first family was some bunch of disastrous yakuza gang who taught me nothing but the ways and codes of pickpockets? I, who had lived nothing but poverty and seen most of the evils of the world? Of course, you wouldn't expect a refined lady who watches her every move and cover her mouth with a fan every time she suppresses her yawn. Sad to say I was nothing like that. Never had been one.

"STOP!" I shouted at him. A demand that came out as a plead. But he didn't listen. He was running swiftly on the roofs of the continuous structures that lined up the river banks. I decided to go up to the roofs with him with the aims of decreasing my efforts. If not catching him. Finally, there was no roof that awaited in front of him, and not even a tree. He stopped, to much of my joy. I was really dying to lay hands on him. And when at length I thought I had cornered him , I began my series of long interrogation with a single question.

"What - what - what did you say again?" I was panting for breath as I asked him that question. "What --- do you know about the Kuroi Bara?"

He spun around, but I couldn't be really sure if his head was bowed or something, but his head was definitely hidden by his large hat. I couldn't remember seeing his face. He was very mysterious. Stretching his arms without an answer, his garments flew and I realized he was wearing a cape. Right in front of my eyes, when I thought I finally got him, he vanished with my questions hanging in the air, unanswered. I fell down on my knees, gasping, grumbling, cursing. It was so annoying. I had made myself look like an idiot, consumed some men's oaths and wasted my energy and my time. What could be more annoying than that? Clenching my fists, I vowed to get him when I see him again. Just what I did the previous time I lost him.

There was nothing much to do that day. Maybe but inhale and exhale. I was seventeen, no home , no job, no honey no money no nothing. Hungry as always I just sat by the banks contemplating on my own thoughts. It felt sad to have nothing to fill up your empty stomach but with no home to go to when the night comes felt sadder. It was always like that for the past three months now, since Master Tan had died. He was my only family, the only one I ever cared for and the only one who had loved me. My life with him was the happiest part of my life. He had taken me from the yakuza gang who claimed that my family entrusted me in their hands and forced me to work for them as a pickpocket. That wicked gang were so rude to me all, but there was nothing I could do. They were so big and I was so small. They were strong and I was weak. Until master Tan came and freed me from those losers. They were not so strong after all. Master Tan beat them all, almost to death. Too bad he was compassionate and refused to take anybody's life, which I think , those yakuza fellows never deserved. After the gang freed me, he had adopted me and taught me virtues the corrupt yakuza gang never knew about - trained me to be a good swordsman, sharpened my skills and speed , shared to me his great wisdom and most of all taught me to live a straight honest life. But like all stories , the only man I ever learned to love died. And too bad I was still unable to avenge his death. Only that mysterious man seemed to be the key to the murderers of my master. And I lost him once again. I was such a failure.

I walked..no not home, but just along the banks. The stars were up already. Whenever I got hooked with my thoughts, it meant every sense of the word 'hooked'. The world could go on - earthquake, fire, whatever, and as long as I don't get disturbed, there was so thin chance I would notice .

I racked my brain for the last words of that bastard as I kicked a rock.

The Hitokiri Battoussai....he's come back....... fight him....... fight the Battousai...... the reward you are looking for......the murderers of your master.......I'll give them to you......Battousai.....fight him....challenge him.........test him....make him mad..... the Battousai...... the Battousai........that Battousai.......

Just remembering his words hurt my head. I held my ears, my head, slumping to the ground as his words came echoing back to my mind. Some villagers exchange startled glances in seeing me, but I couldn't hide the pain. That Battousai. I must find him.

The next morning, I woke up feeling a soft cushion beneath my back. It was a long time since I had felt that softness caress my back every morning. A big surprise.

"She's awake, 'kasan!" a voice was shouting gleefully.

The mother shouted back ," Honto ni, Hayao?" she seemed excited. There was really nothing so exciting or so gleeful about my waking up in the morning. It was a a sign I had yet to face another tiring, hungry day. I felt the breast dagger in my chest. Still there. That was the only one I carry along . Nope, no swords or anything. Master Tan's last words to me was a plead of not to "touch any sword with your hands when I die". And I treasure those words. And since I wasn't beside him when he died, I treasured everything he taught me and did my best to follow his last wills as much as possible. And by all means, a dagger was not a sword.

I cocked open one eye. A woman was looking at me anxiously, like it was her first time to see someone wake up. Opening another eyes, I attempted to sit up, but she quickly held me back, holding the blanket against me saying, "Don't try to do anything now, dear. You go back to sleep."

I knew they were the one who dedicated their time for me for saving my life or something like that, but it was always a drag that they had to tell you what to do and what not to do . Like they knew anything. I don't think they had the right to do that. A surprise I listened to the woman. I was just way too tired I guess.

"What do you want to eat, dear?" the woman asked kindly. She had those brown hair neatly tied in a bun and coffee brown eyes to go with her fair complexion.

I didn't answer.

"Oh, c'mon dear. Don't be shy," the woman insisted.

I bit back the smile. If you insist... "Can I have barbecued fish?"

"Sure." the woman nodded before barking orders a her son named Hayao. In no time, a delicious barbecued fish served right before me. It had been a long time since I had felt that special. I had to take advantage of the opportunity.

By the time that I got assured that I was so ready to face the world, it was some two days later. Imagine , being only able to eat a little something a day. Surely, it was a great feast when I stayed over at that kind family who could offer me three meals a day. I learned the woman's name was Sonomi and her only son was Hayao whose father had died several yeas ago when he was still a baby. Sonomi worked as a fish vendor in the market (no wonder they didn't ran out of barbecued fish!) . The two of them were so kind to me that I couldn't help feeling guilty about what I was doing. But somehow, I knew I couldn't stay there either. I'll only be a big pain if not danger for them. I don't know any household chore , since all I knew were men's job. But anyhow, I managed to repay their kindness by giving them one of my beloved breast daggers. I had a collection of breast daggers. I really had this fascination over them, you know. They were some kind of feminine, something made especially for women something men couldn't use. I liked it so much that I started my collection ever since the yakuza gang held me, and as I robbed money for the yakuza, I stole breast daggers as my sideline. Somehow, I managed to keep them from stubborn yakuza and my collection reached up more than to a dozen, most of which were from the foreign ships which came to trade in Tokyo. But I sold most of the daggers when master Tan went ill anyway and only three were left of my precious babies. Of those three, Aoshi Shinomori had taken one (how dare he!) and I gave the one with silver hilt to Sonomi, which I had recovered from my master's grave. Only one was left, and that was my most precious one, although it was not as expensive as the one with Sonomi. I just liked it from all other daggers I had and keep it in with me always. But someday, I'll retrieve the dagger which that Shinomori had taken.

Sonomi was looking at me, somewhat dumbfounded. I had told her I had to go and in return for their kindness, I was giving her that dagger. She appeared ignorant of it so I demonstrated how to use it without telling her is hilt was silver. That was for me to know and for her to find out. I guess that was sort of a test, of whether she would accept it even if it was plainly a rusty- looking knife. And, I guess she passed the test since she accepted it. However, she still declines to let me go, that poor woman. I would have loved to stay, but I had this feeling that the mysterious man was somewhere nearby, never taking eyes off me, and because of that, I was endangering their lives. I didn't tell her that either. Maybe that was another test. You know, if she'd understand or not. But hey, if she didn't pass this one, she must be really worried of me! What a kind woman! But it was Hayao who really abhorred my leaving. I had a hard time talking to him and trying to make him understand things which I didn't even bother to say to him or to his mother. It was tough, you know that? When I was leaving, he ran to the door and threw his arms around me, refusing to let go. Oooh. Poor kid. I wonder what they saw in me that made them beg for me to stay.

I knelt down to level his gaze, pulling him gently away from me. He was this cute little boy with brown hair like his mother and that coffee eyes that was asking questions. "C'mon, Hayao. You know I don't belong here." He frowned. I patted his cheek. "Aw, Hayao. I'll come back. Promise." He didn't seem to believe me. I winked at him. That made him grin. Winking was usually my secret weapon, which mostly had powerful effects on the creatures called males. And, just by looking at Hayao, I realized age really doesn't matter. He reacted to it with a smile like all other elder guys I winked at. I pulled him close to me and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. He giggled happily. Assured that everything was going to be fine again, I stood up, dusting my thighs. Sonomi was looking at me with that longing in her brown eyes. Gosh. She was not going to cry, or was she? She had her hands in a prayer-like manner, as though begging silently. I grinned at her , then bowed politely as I left.

I really had no idea where to go. The place where I once called home was burned to ashes. When I got back from fishing beside the place where I buried Master Tan, when I went home that night, the house was on fire. Aside from some stuffs I managed to carry, I was left with nothing else. Most of those things I had (incliding the silver dagger) I just buried in my master's grave. There was no point in keeping them when you didn't have a place to keep them into. I was as poor as a rat. Or maybe even poorer. That was why I was so mad at those bastards who I once worked for. It was them who caused all my misfortunes. Aside from the stupid yakuza gang (then headed by Uchiori Arisawa), when Master Tan went ill and started coughing with blood, I grabbed all the opportunities to produce money to cure his illness, and one of those who played savior was that gang, Kuroi Bara, headed by Naoko Hirobumi. It was so ironic, though. There were so many thugs who offered me good money for some government assassination and I refused all of them . But when time came that I was so helpless and the only man I love was on the verge of leaving me, I accepted every thing Kuroi Bara offered -- even with so small pay. To add to that, their works were one of the hardest ever, especially the last which led to my destruction -- to seduce Aoshi Shinomori. I had no idea how to do that, but they wouldn't give me another job. I would have preferred assassinations or robbery, but that was what they wanted me to do. Probably because it was a job only a woman could do -- and I was the only woman who worked for them, as far as I know. You know, they could kill and rob, but they couldn't possibly seduce someone similar gender as they are without looking like a fool. Anyway, they provided me with all the vital information I need about Aoshi, and so, I set forth to him with the only aim to accomplish my job for the money Master Tan needed for the remedy of his illness. I didn't know why they wanted me to do it, but I had the feeling they were after Aoshi for something. Or, they just wanted to make fun of me, especially that silent man who the members refer to as Sawagi. I know that bastard hates me, and he was always playing leader whenever Hirobumi was gone and kept on influencing the narrow-minded subordinates to make my life miserable. Well, expect the unexpected with those low life thugs. But I'm telling you, it was the hardest job ever. I had no clue how to do it, since all my life, all I ever seduced was trouble. Of course, I could easily make any dunce's jaw drop to his knees, but Aoshi, judging from his reputation, was no ordinary dunce. From the very start, I knew I was only going to fail, with so little chances of succeeding, but it was worth a try. Well, at least that time. I told you I needed the money so badly.

Aoshi was a bodyguard of Takeda Kanryuu that time. I had a difficult time getting to him, since his men were always playing-it-safe and was not so caught up with my charms. Lies, lies, endless lies was what I told them just to let me see him. I told them I was sent by the gang, Kuroi Bara to make a deal with them. I never really cared if that gang's name would be ruined since they never gained my loyalty. At least, what I told him was partly true. And finally, the time came when I could be alone with the my target. I really didn't know how to start plus I was so damn nervous. Usually, I give a man a wink to see what kind of man he was -- if he flirts back ,then he was nothing but low man on the totem pole, but if he didn't, then, he must be someone with dignity and he just obtained my respect. But Aoshi didn't seem to be the man to be easily caught in my hands.

I began my mission by talking to him, as he sat down, his back on me. Then I went on massaging his back - all sorts. Then, maybe I got his attention that he began turning around, and I guess I had to undress or something. It was kind of risky, since there was surely a bed in the room, like Aoshi had been expecting something like that (and indeed he was, curse him!). You know, I was a pickpocket, not and never ever a harlot. And so, I already won in getting his attention . The respected man of the Oniwabanshu was standing up and began walking toward me as I stepped back, and I guess that was the time I had to show something of my fair body. Although his face remained calm and serious, I got the feeling he was biting on the bait -- which was no other than myself. So maybe I was retreating backwards because I was kind of worried Aoshi might take me to seriously, at the same time, undraping myself slowly with some veils and coats and all until I think that was enough for my show and the and the bed was behind me already. He took my chin and gazed at me like a hungry wolf or something that made me decide to put an end to my mission. It was getting out of hand and I decided that maybe I'd just look for some other more wholesome job. But before I had the chance to get my breast dagger, his hand reached up to my chest and he grabbed it, like he knew it was there all along.

'Is this you're baby?' he asked me. By that time, he was clutching my face on his hand, while his other was holding my dagger. A loud explosion followed that afterwards which seemed to have come from after the bed. I didn't know why I did it, but I threw Aoshi by the side, so you could say, I saved that bastard's life. I

guess I didn't want my dagger to be harmed. And he just happened to be holding my prized dagger. The room went on fire and I didn't even had the chance to get some of my clothes back on, and , luckily, I managed to escape from the blazing of Aoshi's eyes. When I went home that night, master Tan was dead. That was the very last night he lived and I wasn't even there beside him. How I cried! At first, I thought it was a natural death since there was no any evidence that he was beaten up or something, but later on, I figured out that he may be poisoned. That became even more painful for me to know he was murdered. The next day, after I buried Master Tan's body, the Kuroi Bara sent for me, refused to pay me and condemned me as a traitor. I couldn't believe it! But, somehow, as I looked at the other members' smug faces, particularly that Sawagi's hellish face, I had this feeling that they were behind all of these. I realized that there was a possibility that they set me up with Aoshi and told him about what Hirobumi had ordered me to do. I had a feeling they were also the one who set up a bomb under the bed which almost killed me, and I think Sawagi was behind all of these, the brains behind the brains (if they did have brains!). But, anyway, they blamed me all and claimed that I made a deal with Aoshi. I couldn't believe it!! I've never been so stupid in my life. They were the one who betrayed me and all that and Hirobumi even sentenced me to death (like he had the right to do that!)I couldn't make him see that it was his men, headed by that heinous Sawagi, who caused my ultimate failure and who was betraying him. They all attempted to

beat me to death, but I managed to escape. I was gone for so long, I couldn't go home and no place to go. If I go home, they might be waiting for me so I kind of stayed away from my usual places. I couldn't fight them back. Yeah. You could say I was depressed. And I have to admit, I was scared. I knew I was nothing against them. After a week, I went home to the empty house of Master Tan, nothing left of me, as poor as always. I resolved to change my life and sell of what was left in the house and start a new life. But when I went home after fishing , I found the house in fire and I managed to retrieve only some little stuffs -- two of my daggers, a sword Master Tan gave me and some clothes. I buried them all with master Tan except for the two dagger which I kept with me all the time and after that my life was nothing. All I ever did was cry and cry and hate myself for being so dumb. then at the end, I resulted to drinking. I knew the Kuroi Bara were still after me, and they were also the one who set master Tan's house in fire , but I stopped caring. Gosh! How I lost my senses! Day and night, all I ever did was drink. All I wanted to happen that time was for me to just die. I hated it when master left me and I wanted to go with him very badly. You could say my life sort of stopped when he died. If I wasn't crying, then I must be drinking. I was like a baby who cries every time its milk was gone. Then the bartenders around refuse to give more drink because I had no money to pay for it and they were not longer captured by my spells either. They knew me around as the drunkard. What a reputation I had! So I began a journey to other towns in order to have a nice bar that had foolish bartender to fall for me. Yeah. Wine run my world and made my world go round. It was only some weeks ago that I had my senses back, when that mysterious guy with cape appeared to me first. The mention of Kuroi Bara and yakuza drew my attention to him.

I blinked. The memory of my past was too dark to be remembered on a day, anyway. I was already in town, walking absent-mindedly. Didn't I tell you about me when I get hooked up? Just then , a dart hit the dusty ground , an inch from my toes. Looking up, all that welcomed my sight was that mysterious man in cape and large straw hat. Although I couldn't see his face, I knew he was smirking.

"It's you again," I mumbled casually. I wanted to be mad at him -well, I guess I was already mad, but I could do nothing.

"Fight the Battousai," was all he said, then threw a sword at me and and fled off. Much to my dismay, I found myself running after him again, but I ignored the sword he tossed me. As I Have told you, my master's last will forbade me to touch a sword

I didn't know anything about the Battousai except that , according to rumors, he was really strong fierce swordsman. Some people said that he was "the strongest" but I never really believed in rumors and never really cared if he was indeed "the strongest", unlike most people. All people ever cared for that time was to be "the strongest" or to have the title of the "number one" but what they failed to see was even the strongest could easily fall if he didn't have brains. WIth brains, you could manipulate even "the strongest", while with strength, you could never be certain where you're heading. Why, if Battousai was the strongest swordsman alive, well, I'm the sexiest pickpocket on earth. And you know, sometimes, men could just easily fall in a woman's hands. And all it takes were some of these "brains " (gosh!! not that brains you're thinking!!!!) Nevertheless, I was readying myself to fight him, if that was what the mysterious man wanted in exchange for my master's real murderers. Everything was just so just so damn ironic. Some weeks ago, these men I charged as the murderers of my master was after me. Now I wanted them back -- well, if they really were the ones who killed my Master Tan.

I was running and running , just following him, asking him more about the Battousai, when he disappeared suddenly by a dojo. "Where is that Battousai?" I was shouting at the mysterious guy. Somehow, I could feel the mysterious man's presence around, but my eyes couldn't pinpoint where he really was. That man was very sneaky. "Where is he?"

Some feet from me, a woman stopped. I recognized her as the same woman I met some days ago in the market who had a hot temper and shouted curses at me when I bumped to her companion with red hair. She was probably training that younger kid with spiky black hair when she stopped in hearing me yelling. She was looking at me in a way that made me think that she was going to go near me and slap me across the face and tell me to leave. I knew she recognized me too. But I didn't leave anyway. Didn't I tell I was stubborn? I waited for her to do just what I anticipated she'd do. Doing my best to ignore, I went on yelling for the mysterious guy, all in vain. I figure out that maybe it was that guy in white with crested dark hair sitting calmly under the the shade of the house. Although I knew he was listening to whatever I was saying, he didn't bother to move, so he must not be that Battousai. Until finally, I comprehended I was attracting an attention. Even the guy with a scar and red hair was already there, watching me. "Where is that Battousai?" I asked. I was actually asking the mysterious man, but it appeared like I was demanding for him from the people around anyway.

"Kenshin, she's looking for you!" I heard the young lad with spiky hair shout. He and the hot tempered lady had stopped their training to watch me shout a lunatic.

And when I was just losing hope, a calm voice spoke. "I am Battousai."

I veered to the direction of the voice. To much of my surprise and awe, it was the guy with red hair and a scar on his left cheek. I didn't bother to mock him or anything, although he wasn't really my anticipated "Battousai". All I want was to satisfy the mysterious man, who I knew, was watching me too, in order to get my prize. Those killers of my master! They just wait and see! They will feel my vengeance so soon enough.

"I said what do you want from me?" the guy asked. Guh. I was on my thoughts again that I didn't hear him the first time.

I relaxed. "I wanna fight you," I told him in a matter of factly tone. He was calm and really looked harmless. In fact, he looked friendly. But I needed to do my job. My revenge.........

"I don't want to fight a woman." And with his seven word sentence, he spun his back on me.

It was kind of insulting the way men react to woman like that when women challenge them (although men think it's kinda cute!). It was like women were not someone to pay attention to or to waste your energy on...and it was like he underestimated me. I didn't really care if I beat him or not as long as I got the fight the mysterious man wanted. Desperate, I grabbed my breast dagger and pointed it at his back in a way that halted him. "I challenge you!"

That spun him around again. it was kind of funny how I manage to get men's attention in different ways. With Aoshi, I had to do some stroking on his back. With this Battousai, I had to point a knife at his back. I guess that was what differ men with each other -- with the way they deal with women.

"If you're too stubborn to insist...." and in split second, he was holding a sword and we were fighting. Of course, I was defeated, even though he was using an inverted blade which looked rather amusing to me. I was completely defeated. He was so strong and I was so absent minded. I was only hoping the mysterious man was watching. I caught a glimpse of his blue eyes which seemed to be changing color....or it must be the sun.

I lost my hold on the dagger that was a sign that the fight was over. His friendly face had suddenly changed to something dead serious when we began the fight. I was glad he didn't kill me............. or...... would he?

He was pointing his sword at me, like the way I pointed my little dagger at him. "Are you gonna kill me?" I asked him.

He sheathed his sword. "No," he answered.

I beamed at him. "Good 'coz I'm not ready to die yet." At the corner of my eyes, I saw a black figure dashing off. I quickly got up. But before I jump up to the roof, I spun around to that Battousai winked at him and blew kisses. You know, he really looked kind of dumbfounded. If only I had a pic to show you...and by the way, that hot tempered girl? Well, she was furiously looking at me. She must be turning red with anger when I turned back to my business...or green with envy! The fool was running.

"Stop !" I commanded him. He turned around, released darts that hit me - one on my neck, the other on my arm and the last one on my leg. My whole body seemed to be stuck that way and not allowing me to move. There was something with the darts that suspended my movements. Despite my best attempts to move and regain my movements I fell down from the roof and crashed down to that guy in white with crested hair. The next thing I knew I was lying down. Yes. Again. I didn't know where I was, but the cushion on my back gave me the idea that maybe I was back at Sonomi's house. Without opening my eyes, I tried calling for Sonomi. "Sonomi? Sonomi? " I asked repeatedly. No one answered. I attempted to open my eyes unsuccessfully. It felt like a pile of block was hoarded on my eye lids. Sighing, I tried calling again. Hayao? What the bloody hell?!

"There's no Sonomi or Hayao here," a female voice muttered, rather too dryly. I somewhat recognized the voice as belonging to that hot tempered babe who shouted curses at me in the market and who was also giving me that look by the dojo. I couldn't be really sure, though. I had heard her voice only once, but since it was so stiff, I kind of figured it was hers and that was how she would react to me after I winked and blew kisses at the Battousai. I assume they might be -- shall we say -- more than friends by the way her face knotted angrily like a bulldog in seeing the red head guy respond to my charms. I opened my eyes, raising my head slightly. Yep, I was right. It showed an obscure picture of the dark haired girl standing some feet away from me, doing something and beside me to the right were two little girls . I slumped my head back. My head felt so heavy.

"Oh, it's you," I mumbled. I hoped the disappointment was not visible in my voice, but considering the way she spoke to me later on, I understood it was so damn evident. Maybe she was assuming I preferred the red hair guy to take care of me, but actually, I was wishing I was back there over at Sonomi's cozy house. I couldn't be really sure how she would treat me in her house, you know. "What time is it?"

I attempted to stand up, since she didn't reply, but like Sonomi, she stopped me. "Don't try it now, lady. You have to rest. You were wounded."

I dropped back on the cushion. Or maybe, in better terms , I fell back. "What time is it?" I grinned at both girls beside me. They were trying to talk to me, but I guess I was way too busy dizzy to hear them.

"It's night. Why?"

"Nothing." Of course it was not nothing. But I really had no intentions to tell her that. She sounded like a stuffed shirt and shabby and I had this feeling that every word I had to say was going to be met with a coarse reply, so I didn't bother to respond.

"Who are you?" one girl asked me eagerly. I introduced myself to them, using my naive baby voice .

"And you are?" I asked both of them. The two took turns introducing themselves. One girl was Ayame and the other was Suzume. Both adorably cute.

"Are you hungry now?" the dark haired girl asked once more. This time, her voice seemed kind. She sat beside me to my left.

"Yes," I answered frankly even though the feeling of being snapped was still there. Yeah. you could say that was stubborn side -- I say whatever I feel, even though I knew the consequences. Right that moment, I was waiting to be slapped. But she didn't. I guess this new girl sitting beside me was unpredictable.

"What do you want?"

"Barbecued fish." I didn't know if my answer was stupid or smart, but she eyed me in somewhat amused manner.

"Looks like you've come to the right place," she was saying as she stood up. She turned her head to me, grinning. "We've got the best cook of barbecued fish right here."

I turned to the two girls who were listening to our conversation. I couldn't quite understand by what she meant of "right place". "You're sister owns a restaurant or something?" I asked both of them. They both shook their brown heads.

"No ,we don't own a restaurant," Ayame answered.

"And no, she isn't my sister," Suzume added.

A little 'oh' all I could say. I heard the hot tempered girl call someone named Sano and Kenshin. Kenshin sounded familiar and after some time of racking my brain , I finally remembered the name. He was the Battousai who I challenged just this morning and the guy young lad was referring to when I shouted the name Battousai...well if it was still the same day. It felt like I've been in bed for so long now. Anyway, the hot tempered girl was telling that Sano to cook for me. Ok, so maybe she didn't deserve to be called 'hot-tempered' or anything negative, because as time goes on, she was becoming a likable girl from her old crabby self.

It was probably late and the two girls were sent to sleep. Two young men entered the room where I was , bringing the fish. The one was in white with spiky brown hair who I crashed to and the other one was the guy I assumed as Kenshin.

The girl sat down, after Sano had given her the fish. She helped me up, served the food and all those which didn't seem to be the hot tempered who shouted curses at me. I learned her name was Kaoru and the guy in white I crushed to was Sano. I was eating the fish hungrily after introducing myself when I noticed I was the only one eating and they were looking at me and watching me like a dog as they sat around. "Sumimasen?" I asked them. I laid down the food. "I'm really sorry for my being impolite --"

It was that guy Sano who cut me. "No, we've eaten anyway."

They were silently just staring at me like....well....like a dog. That was the best description I could think of. Oh, you know how a dog is -- you know, when you're eating and there's a dog sitting nearby, waiting for a bone. It kind of decreased my appetite. "Would you guys stop staring at me like that?" I barked at them.

"Look, I am just wondering why you challenged Kenshin to a fight," Sano spoke again.

I stopped eating. I wasn't so sure whether it was a nice idea to tell people about my life. Aside from the fact that I was dangerous around, and the reason as to why I challenged Battousai was......well, a sensitive subject. If I tell them why, then I'd be ending up telling them my whole life and my past. I just hate it. I guess I was so silent for a long while that Kenshin spoke up.

"It's fine if you don't want to tell us, " he said . Even he, the Battousai , seemed to be very kind, unlike the rumors I was hearing. I was so right in doubting rumors.

"It's kind of....personal question," was my answer.

Sano gave a silly grin, his mouth forming an 'o'. He was probably thinking I was in love with that Battousai. "Well," he began again with that silly grin growing sillier every minute. "Sad to say, missy, but this girl over here --"

Kaoru gave Sano a big blow on the head. "Would you stop it, Sanosuke?" Even though her face knotted angrily again like a bulldog in that I noticed she was also blushing. Sano was laughing to himself.

I went back to my eating. It was a surprise I just noticed how good the fish was cooked. "Who did this anyway? This is really good."

Sano cleared his throat importantly. "Ahem ahem ahem."

I rolled my eyes. Both Kenshin and Kaoru chuckled. But I have to admit , it was really good, even better than Sonomi's. "You're a cook, Sano?"

He shook his head, saying a faint "Nah".

"Then how come it's good?" I asked him. You know, it there was one thing which seemed impossible for me to learn , that was cooking. I loved to eat and all that, but when it comes to cooking, I was really a big idiot. Let's just say I was born an eater, not a cook. And I was even astonished to know a man did it. "You know, men really don't cook. Well , at least not supposed to be this good. "

"That is his favorite food, you know," Kenshin informed me bluntly with a smile.

I raised a brow at him. So maybe that was why Kaoru was looking at me that way minutes ago when she asked me what I wanted to eat. "Yeah. Me too."

My comments got Sano's regard. He watched me carefully. "Why do you like it?"

That simple question made me think. When I like something, I just.... well, like it. There could be no clear reason behind it. So I had some time before I could answer his question. "Because it's barbecued and because its fish," was all I could think of. Tell me if that was dumb, but that was the only reason I could think of. I guess most reasons were really dumb. Resuming my eating, we chat and chat some time. As long as it was out of my past, I answered their questions and joined their conversations. We were talking about this and that, and most of the time, Sano and Kaoru wee fighting. They seemed really nice people that I could trust, but I guess I was a little too anxious to trust anymore as lessons from experience. However, I was feeling the mysterious man's presence again, so I shut up one moment while Kaoru and Sano argued. I tried standing up to have a peek at the window, but my weak legs provided me only with some seconds and I collapsed back to the sham. Both Kaoru and Sano stopped their argument. Kenshin was looking down calmly. I knew he could feel it too.

"What's wrong?" Kaoru asked.

I silenced her. "He's here," I notified her in a low voice.

Kenshin looked up. "They," he corrected me.

The three of us watched Kenshin with awe, but I guess I was the most stunned of them all. They? Did Kenshin just say 'they?' I clenched and unclenched my fists. Those rascals were getting up to my patience. First, that mysterious lad promised me a prize I want for challenging Battousai. Then, he tried to kill me. And now, he brought his friends over. They were becoming annoying. Really annoying. "A fight they want, then a fight they will get!" I thundered angrily. I tired feeling the dagger in my chest and was bewildered when it was not there.

Kaoru shook he head. "Oh no, you're staying here." Noticing I was looking for my dagger, she added. "And by the way, your dagger is with me. I'm sorry if I didn't tell you, but I had to remove it to treat your wound in your chest."

I banged my fist on the wooden floor furiously. "No!" I declined furiously standing up again. "I am going to face them all, even if there's a battalion of them, those assholes!"

"Well, you don't have a sword --" Kaoru began again.

"Even without a sword! " I boomed. Those men were really so annoying! Maybe they were from yakuza or the Kuroi Bara, but either organization, I had bitter feelings towards within me. How I abhor them! Before, I was too weak to face them! I couldn't let the chance pass by when I could take my revenge -- not only for Master tan, but also for myself.

I was trying to locate the door, but before I could head to it after I located it, Sano stopped me, grabbing my wrist. "Listen to Kaoru. Stay." And he pulled me like a cat. I sank back to the cushion. Kenshin and Sano went outside with Kaoru, preparing to fight the people who were more likely my enemies. I hated it. I was dying to go out and lay my hands on them myself, but I was too feeble to even stand up. I noticed some bandages wrapped around my chest, arm and leg. So that was why I could barely stand up, I mused to myself. One of the things I really scorn was being impotent , especially at the face of my adversaries. Being so helpless like a vegetable made me feel so rotten . I guess I was not so used in being so helpless. Or maybe because it sort of reminded me about the darkest hours of my life, which happened only some months ago. How I despise the memory! I crawled to the door, but the three cads locked me inside and all I could do was beg to let me out. You really had no idea how I hate it. Every second of it. After that, you could say maybe I fell asleep or something because when I opened my eyes, I was back in bed and it was morning.

When I woke up the next day, I didn't bother to eat breakfast. The incident last night sort of lost my appetite and I guess I want to show those people in the dojo how much dismay I felt by locking me up in the room when I was craving to go out and meet that mysterious man face to face. Didn't I tell you what a drag it was when Sonomi told me what to do and what not to do. What more if they're forcing me to stay? It's super drag. Besides, it was my business. Why couldn't those bastards just mind their own affairs anyway? I could handle them myself. Well, maybe.

I didn't really know what to do especially without my only friend -- my knife. But since it was so damn early in the morning, I took the chance to look for my knife myself. But I was wrong in my estimation of Kaoru's waking up time, since she was already awake, preparing the food with Kenshin. They both greeted me in a jolly voice. As a payment for their greeting, I greeted them back, but how I wish the distaste in my voice was discernible for them to know I was so damn displeased with their behaviors. I told them I want to go fishing and I need my dagger back. She gave me a dubious look like I just said I was getting married, but she handed me back my knife. I guess she knew I had a different meaning of the term 'fishing'.

I headed to the town with no really particular plans on my head. I guess I just wanted to stay out of the house of the people who wouldn't let me do things I wanna do. Although I knew what they did was for my own good, I still couldn't fuming to myself and being angry at them. I wasn't so sure whether they were worth my trust, and I guess I didn't trust them at all, even when it was them who saved my life, I had learned from my experiences that those who who dresses like an angel were mostly the one who really is the devil. I was playing safe and I have to admit, I was scared to trust. I didn't want to trust anybody. Maybe if you were on my shoes, you would feel the same. But hey, didn't I tell you I was stubborn? So if you'd be on my shoes, you'd be really stubborn.

Instead , I found myself going to a nearby bar. The bartender there was unusually stupid, refusing to give me a drink, but after some winks and blue -moon promises to spend a night with him, he finally agreed. You wouldn't know what to expect of what people could do for a single drink. But, of course, who said I was going to keep my word? He'd have to kill me before I spend a night anybody. Besides, I had enough problem already and I couldn't take adding some bartenders to that. As long as the bartender was under my spell and provided me with enough drinks, I drank and drank to my heart's desire. I didn't know where to go that night, so I guess I was considering sleeping with him. But it will be hell because hew was not even good looking. But with honey, you don't only have money, but a drink.

I didn't know what time it was, but it was time to go home. Oh, what was I talking about? I had no home. I didn't know if Kaoru will accept me to her house after I behaved before her that morning, Time runs to fast when you were drinking. Sometimes, you see so many things and I knew subconsciously that I was drunk. It was so late probably and only so few were left on the bar. The bartender was I guess playing games with me. He couldn't wait for my reward on him, but I insisted more drink and he wouldn't give me more and instead, was asking for the payment. Frustrated, I went for the door and went out, with the foolish bartender after me.

"You went fishing, eh?" a voice hailed at me. Although I was drunk, I could never forget how much sarcasm flavored the tone. I turned to the voice. Sano, that rascal! He was smiling sarcastically, his arms crossed over his chest. I didn't know he was there, but somehow, I wasn't surprised hew as the either. I guess I was expecting someone would spy on me.

"Yeah," I grinned at him. I raised the empty bottle at him. "Wanna a drink , Sano?"

Before he could answer, the half-witted bartender appeared behind me and grabbed my arm, saying, "You're coming with me."

I let him pull me wherever he wished to take me. I stopped caring suddenly. There were one of those times that I was too weak to drive my life and I was on the hands of the people around. I just hate that feeling, but it was a wonder I never stopped drinking. I guess I got to thank Sano for saving me from the scoundrel. He pulled me from the bartender and sat me down i one corner. Maybe the bartender wa so mad about me that he challenged Sano to a fight just because of me... or maybe he just wanted to spend a night with me? I liked it when men fight because of a single woman. If I'll be a man, I'll never fight for a woman ,especially for those chicks like..............me. I didn't know what happened next because I just fell asleep on the ground. And you know, that night I had one of the nicest dreams ever. Funny, in my dream, I was also drinking. I usually dream about my life, so the past weeks, all I had were nightmares. But this one was different. There was this guy -- a tall guy . He threw that bottle I had aside and helped me up. I could barely see him since it was dark and obscure, but even though I couldn't see him, I had this trust for him. I didn't even know his name, but I had the feeling he was Master Tan appearing to me in a different way - and I didn't know how to approach him after I drank a lot. I was embarrassed to have him caught me drinking. But unlike what I had anticipated, he didn't scold me and he was very kind. Too bad it was only his figure I could see. People were scarcely kind to me, you know. Anyway, we were walking and we sat down somewhere maybe beside the river considering the flow of water I was hearing. Then we talked, and I had this sense of faith in him, and sooner or later, I just found myself telling him everything about me -- my life, my past, my miseries, which if you'd consider were nothing good. But he seemed to understand everything. How I wish I could see him. Next minute, I was crying and all I knew, I was sobbing on his shoulder. I knew he was Master Tan, maybe on his younger years. If he had come to this world younger, I knew I might have married him. He was the only I really truly trusted and had faith to, so I had this feeling it was him. But later, I had a glimpse of his eyes -- really dark eyes, maybe as dark as the night and I had a hesitation. Master Tan's eyes were not dark ; they were light brown, something really compassionate. But then, I must be seeing things, since the whole surroundings were dark as well, so I disregarded my thoughts. It could be no other man than Master Tan himself. I felt his graceful hands patting my back, hushing me back and the more I hear the compassion on his voice and remember the sympathy on his eyes, the more I was convinced it was Master Tan. It had to be him. When I opened my eyes, it was morning and I was back on the dojo. Too bad such nice dreams must end.

It was the third time in that week I woke up in a bed without remembering going into one. I must have been really reckless. Kaoru was preparing breakfast with Kenshin while Sano was nowhere in sight. Too bad. I was wondering what other crazy things I did last night. I must had did something really shameful.

"He's out," Kaoru informed me. "He left so early in the morning." Then she turned to me as she paused in her work, eyeing me skeptically. "By the way, I don't really want to sound so nosy, but where did you two go last night?"

"Last night?" I repeated blankly. What the bloody hell happened last night? Uh-oh. SANNNNOOOO!!!

"Yeah," Kenshin was saying. "You went home pretty late." He grinned at me.

I stormed out of the house angrily. Kenshin and Kaoru were winking and smiling at me in a way that made me think viciously. Balling my fists, I racked my brain for what had happened, but nothing came into my head. I was paralyzed when possibilities came into me head. What if --

I shook the thought. I will make Sano pay if ever that possibility happened, that was as simple as that.

I went in again and asked the two where I could find Sano, but to my dismay, neither knew. Or they could be hiding him. We ate breakfast with that boy, Yahiko Myojin, the two girls and an old man whose name I forgot. Sano must be really an enthusiastic eater, because Yahiko commented on his absence as a 'phenomenon'. After that, I left, telling them I'd go fishing again. But in reality, I was leaving. You know, just seeing Ayame and Suzume sort of brought some guilt of what I was doing. First two days, I never really cared if I was endangering the lives of the people in the dojo. I guess I intended to use them to my advantage, my usual game. I had no home and no nothing , remember? So I snatched the chance to stay over and have something to eat without a care for the people there, as long as they provided me with my basic needs. I was so bad, no? But just looking at the kids maybe made me realize what I was doing. You know, I would have gladly used Sasami and Haru to my benefit, but that same awful guilt overcame my greed in seeing Haru. And I didn't really expect something like that would happen again. I guess kids could touch me.

That day, I really did went fishing, in the river where Master Tan's grave stood nearby. I didn't know why I went to his grave, when all it brought was remorse and grief to me. I guess that was the only place I could go where someone was waiting for me with love and understanding. I just felt my feet taking me to that place. After sitting beside his grave, I got into a river, readied my knife and stood still for a long time until some groups of fish came . I got them one by one with my little dagger and I stuck them up with some stick I could find. I had maybe more than a dozen, so after I ate some(yes! barbecued fish!), I decided to sell them and buy myself some wine. However, I really didn't have any purpose to drink again. Hey! I also learned a lesson. Aside from that, that day was special for me. I didn't know why. I guess because I dreamed about Master Tan and a glimpse of my master brightened my whole day. Apart from that, I considered that day, well, maybe sacred. I wanted to do everything good. You know, I could easily get wine from some stupid bartenders by just flirting and winking like I did the day before, but I declined to do it. The wine was for my master and I know he would hate it if came from something bad. I also knew, from the way he comforted me in my dream last night, that he still wanted me to be good and live the straight life he taught me. And maybe I just want to show him I could live that life, even for just a day.

I was a able to sell the fish left to a seafood restaurant in town. They paid me so low, perhaps just enough for one bottle, but I accepted it anyway. I was the one insisted it. Then I bought a bottle of wine which I poured on my master's grave that afternoon. I knew he would like it. I had this suspicion he was a drinker himself , although I could never really say I caught him, since I suppose he was trying his best to quit it for my sake. Master Tan always wanted for me to be an upright and virtuous person and did his best to set a good example for me . I admire him for that. You know, with the Meiji government like this and the people butchering each other, it was hard to be righteous. But master chose to be right and moral, even when his world was not. I guess the saying 'do what romans do ' was not all the time such an applicable thought.

My garments were mostly wet and I was cold, but I didn't bother doing anything. Maybe I deserve some punishment sometimes. I couldn't help feeling this guilt again as I sat beside his grave, setting the empty wine bottle aside. Remembering his words and teachings saddened me, but I didn't cry. I vowed to myself that the tears I shed upon his death were to be my last. If you only saw me, I was like a lunatic and I never stopped my crying. Then, maybe I understood his death was permanent and he was never gonna come back that my anger surpassed my sadness. And you know, although I was still keeping this unsatisfied wrath within me, I managed to hide it somehow, unlike my sadness . Yeah. You could say I could handle my ire better than my tears. Also, I hate it when people see me cry. Maybe I was shy? Oh, I don't know. Probably I just hate it when people knew how I feel . You see, I was a very private person.

I was on my own thoughts, then later, talked to someone dead.I had this habit of soliluquy, but I wasn't alone. I just knew Master was listening and I told him my day and yesterday and the day before that and what I want tomorrow will be - all those stuffs! I could tell almost everything to my master, who was also my father. But that was the insane part of me and I knew if someone was there (and sure there was!), he might think I was nuts speaking to no one. But that was not true. I was speaking to my master. I knew he was listening. I knew he was always listening. All that differed was that I couldn't see him, but really I could feel his presence. But anyhow, I could still feel some other presence, which weren't of the dead. I just know it. People loved to spy on me. That sucks.

I had a hint that probably it was Sano who was spying on me again, but I comprehended Sano was much slicker. I may appear to have known he was there all along, but actually, I didn't notice him until the time he greeted me with that sardonic voice of his. But this one was less careful. I could feel his eyes on me and

immediately detected his presence. But I went on talking anyway. Maybe I stopped caring again.

"I'm going, Master," I was saying absently. Yeah. Didn't I tell you I was planning to leave the dojo? The water of the river was really looking very nicely, some kind of alluring. I began undressing my outer garments and even removed my bandages and jumped to the river almost too suddenly. It was cold at first, but later, it felt good. I suppose I totally disregarded the thought of someone watching me. I observed at the marks of the darts on my chest, on my arm and on my leg. They still hurt, but they didn't need any bandage anymore.

Just then, I heard someone shouting my name. Instantly , I recognized it was Kaoru's. She didn't probably see what I was doing and was only listening to me. Probably she assumed I was committing suicide by jumping to the river like that.

I saw her running to the edge of the river where Master Tan's grave stood. She was panting and looked very worried, but relaxed in seeing me taking a dip. Baring a grin, I waved at her. "Join me!" I invited in a merry voice.

She shook her head after taking a deep breath as she sat down. I conceived she was really beautiful, you know, the afternoon sun hitting her hair that way......if I would be a guy, I'd be asking her out.

"I'm sorry for spying on you," Kaoru began in a real sincere voice. The more I hear her like that, the more the old grouchy girl who I referred to as 'hot-tempered' seemed not to be her.

"Oh, it's ok," I assured her without telling her I knew she was there. I knew she's be embarrassed and I didn't like that. I just lied down there on the water for a while. "Why did you follow me anyway?"

On her face was still that apologetic smile that still hadn't left her lips. A question came to me as to how I could make her see it was really fine. She really didn't believe me. "I was.....uh....I guess I was curious. You know , you went home very late last night with no catch and I was thinking.........." her voice trailed off.

Abruptly, I gazed at her. "Did Sano say anything?" I asked her. The river was really nice. There were some big rocks here and there and the water was so damn clear and the currents were strong but gentle and was caressing my body in a way that made me want to sleep.

A trace of puzzlement came to Kaoru's pretty face as she shrugged. "No. What happened anyway? He was carrying you, you know that?"

I gave a scripted laugh , scratching my head but nodding. Before I could reply, Kaoru went on. "He said some bunch of punks attacked you and you hit your head. Is that so?"

I nodded repeatedly. So that was what happened, I reflected silently. Even though I really couldn't remember something like that, I believed it. I guess that was what I would like to believe rather than some unwholesome night that was pestering my mind. After some time, I got that feeling another presence again, then another, then another until I somewhat understood there were more than five of them. I gritted my teeth in rage. Those bastards. They wouldn't let me be!

Kaoru was unable to notice it, since she was humming, appreciating nature's beauty . I gestured for her to throw my clothes to me, signaling her about some company I was feeling. She nodded, but went on humming, that good actress! Even though I had my good ole dagger of mine with me, I still think that we were outnumbered and those thugs weren't in for a fair fight ,so immediately after I dressed up, we came to no more pretending. Going up to Kaoru, I pulled her in a run. Then, just as I expected , the brutish looking scamps revealed themselves and surrounded me and Kaoru, stopping us in our escape. There were more than five of them, I was right. And to my dismay, they were even more than ten ! Encircling us, they blocked our way from all directions. Sweat streamed to my body, despite the fact that I had just taken a dip. Much to my amazement, I felt tensed. I usually loved fights and more often that not, even when I was alone, I frequently succeed to gain the upper hand. I wondered why I was feeling that way. Maybe because Kaoru was there and I had somebody to worry about rather than myself. Those thugs were drawing closer and closer, and I felt Kaoru's back stiffen against mine. They were less than five feet close and I still have not a devised of something.

"Kaoru!" I hissed at her, handing her my dagger. I knew she didn't have any weapon with her.

"What about you?" she whispered back.

"Just take it, ok?" But she refused to take it, that stubborn girl. One scamp to my left and to Kaoru's right, seeing we were formulating some ways to escape, dove to us. I pushed Kaoru aside and sliced him with my dagger. One by one, the thugs drew and attacked us. Kaoru had managed to grab some form of weapon to protect herself and used it to fight those thugs, while I, with my poor little blade, killed my way through. Guh. That day was supposed to be sacred. After we got rid of some of them, we began running again. but more seem to came, like they had some reserves or back-ups. After some time, we were losing. You see, there were too many of them and they were attacking from different directions at the same time. Plus, I had Kaoru to worry about. At one occasion, one rascal got the knife out of me and called Kaoru, threatening to kill me if she wouldn't surrender herself. Gosh. How I hate it! The rascal even stomped on my chest when Kaoru was looking hesitant, and my wound ached. I was screaming to her to leave or not to surrender of else she would just be making our fight meaningless, but she was, indeed, stubborn. Looking at me, she dropped the weapon she acquired. Before they could tie us up or even have someone pull me up, some men from the far end of the circle was scrambling to their feet, trembling and shouting in fear which caught our attention.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru beamed happily. Yeah. He was with Yahiko and they were fighting they were through. I was still somewhat in pain, but I snared a glance on his eyes. Somehow, my dream seemed to be so real to be a dream and I still had this hope that the guy who was acting like Master Tan was a real human. To my astonishment, Kenshin's eyes were not what they usually were. The friendly spark in his eyes were replaced by this venom that could make those rogues, even me , I had to confess, tremble. He really looked dangerous, deadly dangerous. There were something in his eyes...it spoke of death. I supposed he had real love for Kaoru to be really mad in seeing someone attempt to hurt her. Kaoru was so damn lucky.*sigh* But one thing for sure, it was not the eyes I saw in my dream, and my pain, along with my disappointment resumed. In the midst of those fighting going on, I managed to stand up. Ignoring the clashes around, I tried to locate my dagger, but I was failing. I checked every fallen body, the ground, but there was no dagger. Poor baby. If only I knew it'd be lost, I wouldn't have used it. The thugs left were being given a chance to leave by Kenshin. Oh, that Kenshin! The fools scrambled to their feet and left, even before I could ask them about my dagger. I sank to the ground, hopeless. M y dagger was my best friend, the only best friend I ever had. And , I just happen to lose it.

It was Kaoru who helped me up. "What's wrong?" she asked me, worry crossing her face.

I accepted her hand, standing up. "My knife. I can't find it."

Kenshin's face was back to the kind one, you know, like the same Kenshin who would do the household chores.

"This must be it," Yahiko, who was at the far end, joined in. He raised a little dagger that gleamed when the sun touched its blade.

I nodded happily. I had never been so happy to see my knife before. The boy threw it at me and I caught it.

"Let's go now. We need to bandage your wounds again," Kaoru was saying.

I stopped, stuffing the dagger safely back to my waist since my chest was still in pain.

"Kaoru, I'm leaving."

We began walking silently along the riverbanks. I wasn't still saying another word.

"Where are you going?" Kenshin asked. The place was really beautiful. The sun was sinking and we were walking on these dried leaves that crunch beneath our feet. Some streaks of faint sunshine past their way through the trees and leaves and it made a really nice scene for a painting. I wish I had a pic to show you.

When I didn't answer, Kaoru spoke again. "I've heard you talking to your master and telling him -- ooops" she paused. "I'm really sorry for doing that. "

"It's fine."

"Well, I heard what happened and after all that, you really didn't have to go , you know," she continued .

I stopped in my paces, my eyes concentrating on the ground, thinking of nice words to say it. Funny, you know. I never really cared how to say what I want and never had problems saying them, but that time, I guess I need to pick the right words. "I have

to go --"

Throwing her arms in the air, Kaoru stopped too. "Why do you have to go? Where will you go? You have nowhere to go to, I know! Why do you have to leave? Why can't you stay with us?"

I rolled my eyes. Kaoru was indeed stubborn, wasn't she? "Kaoru --"

"You can stay with us! You are now our friend. We'd go with you through everything," she cut in again.

"Listen!" I screamed at her. Yahiko and Kenshin were both silent, watching us scream at each other. I was telling Kaoru this and that , but she kept cutting my statements, so I would shout at her and ask her to listen, but when I was speaking again, she would interrupt in aloud voice and I had to scream at her again, then she's scream back at me and we ended up screaming at each other.

"Kaoru!" I yelled in frustration. "I have to go. I have to finish some business of mine, ok?"

"Why won't you let us help you settle it?"

"Can't you see what just happened? That thing would have never happened to you if you hadn't met me, you know!" I tried explaining to her. " I'm telling you, I'd only risk your life and the lives of the people there in the dojo!"

She shook her head, much to my annoyance. "No, we don't care. We are you're friends now and we want to go through this with you. I put myself in your place and I understand how you must be feel--"

"Lookit Kaoru! You can never be me and I can never be you and you have your own affairs to be busy with and I have my own business to deal with. You understand?" I snapped at her irritably. It had been a long time now since I have met someone as stubborn as I was. I couldn't believe it.

She was fuming this time. "As for now, you are also my affair!"

I grabbed her shoulder and shook her. " You just start minding your own business because you don't get anything for mingling with my affairs. Some people needs you and you have your role to play. With me around, you'll fail those people and may even neglect that role that is supposed to be yours."

She pushed my hands off. "You are our friend now and we want to help you with whatever you are going to face. We just can't let you hand yourself to those losers. We have to fight together and go through this . If I can play my role or not is my problem, but didn't it ever occur to you that this is part of my role?"

I threw my hands out. "Don't you get it, Kaoru? You're also my friend and how do you think I would feel if you get in to this? " She attempted to speak again, but I raised my hand. "I'm leaving, ok? Don't try to stop me now."

"You can't leave! What are friends for?"

"Fine! Let's end this friendship business!"

"I know you need friends too!"

Her words were really making me mad now. She was being so stiff, but I will be stiffer. After all, I should be the only who was supposed to be stubborn in this world. I glared at her. "Look. I can survive without anybody!"

"Hold it, ladies!" Kenshin interrupted with an apologetic smile, coming between us with his hands raised. Both of us stopped. I crossed my arms over my chest and turned my head to a different direction so I really couldn't see what she was doing or even if she was sticking out her tongue at me.

"Ah, maybe Kaoru is right --"

I gritted my teeth. So he's taking her side? Oh, I forgot. What the bloody hell are lovers for? "I don't care who's right. I'm leaving if I want to leave."

"That's too bad," I heard Yahiko, who had been silent for along time now, mutter. "I promised to Ayame and Suzume you'd go back to the dojo. They really wanted to go fishing with you this morning ."

"They did?" I asked. I guess it sounded stupid, but I heard some hope in my own voice. What a surprise what little kids could do to you. I guess kids were just like wine for me.

"They're waiting now, I suppose," Yahiko said again. He was speaking absently, obviously caught in the beauty of the surrounding.

Finally, I agreed to stay -- me and Kaoru couldn't agree on terms, so I agreed one more day in the dojo. Kaoru claimed it as a time to 'think it over' but really, it was for the two girls' sake. I was really growing attached to them. Sure enough, Suzume and Ayame were waiting for me, those little angles. I had a little chat with them, then later played sticks.

That night, there was nothing much to do, so after we ate, I decided to bathe again before Kaoru re-bandage my wounds. The night air was cold and I knew I'd be shivering in the tub, but I just felt like taking a bath. Of course, I didn't mean just take bath. I sort of just hanged around and played to myself like a kid who was fond of water. But I was thinking to myself too. Yeah. Most of the time, my thoughts usually kept going back to my dream. I tried thinking of whose eyes it might be...... and you know whose face came into my mind ? Aoshi Shinomori. Then Naoko Hirobumi, the leader of the Kuroi Bara. My mind tried to remember every guy I met, yet, no one seemed to own those dark eyes. It must be really a dream. Besides, it was too good to be true.

Humming, I splashed water at my face. Later , I was singing. Most of my songs were interrupted by stabbing curses as I grumbled to myself. There was nothing in my head-- I couldn't remember what happened that night with Sano, and couldn't distinguish whose eyes in my dream were. Although I did pay so bit attention to sayings and hearsay, I still wanted to believe that my dream might be connected or at least, telling something of my real life. I guess I was so engrossed in my thoughts that it was sometime later before I heard some noises outside, and after some second, realized there was a battle going on. Quickly, I pulled on whatever I saw , which was not enough to clothe my whole body (but I guess I was too hot to go out that I didn't care!), grabbed my little knife and dashed out. There, Kenshin, Yahiko , Kaoru and Sano were engaged in a fierce battle with a bunch of bastards who were attacking the dojo from all directions. Sano was the one nearest the bathroom, and he gave me a puzzled glare in seeing me almost naked. Only a little piece of garments were tied around my dripping body.

"Go back in there!" he barked at me , getting rid of one rascal coming from behind.

I shook my head. "No ! I want to fight them." Charging from my left was another fool. I knocked him out with my elbow. Then came another after another, but really, I was not after them. I scanned the battle for some signs of the mysterious man, and as I had predicted, he was the on the roof, watching everything. That shit. I went my way through, jumping to the roof as I fastened the cloth wounded around me in a tight knot. Readying my knife, I went after him. The straw hat veered to my direction and I knew he saw me. He raced away, as I chased after him. Yeah. LIke a lunatic again. I guess sometimes, you just had to look like a lunatic to get what you want. turning around, the mysterious man paused, then , seconds after, some darts were flying to my direction. But, hah! I've seen that thing before, so knowingly, I jumped and missed his darts. But what a failure I was! One of his three darts hit my left hand and due to the pain, I released my dagger. If I hadn't told you yet, well, I was left-handed and knifes my way through using left. Gosh. How stupid of me! Shifting my gaze to my dagger and to him, I faltered whether to follow him or lose my dagger. Of course, I chose my dagger. It will be really useless to go after him without my dear friend. When I got it, he had disappeared. I felt so helpless and hopeless but I would not give up so easily. Time will come when we would see each other again. That next time I would not lose them.

The next day was a better day, the sun was up and I was determiend to leave because of what happened the night before. When I woke up and found no one, I thought it was the best time to go and escape even the part of saying good bye. One thing was missing, though : my dagger. It was a mistake to look for it, but I could not bear lose my one and only baby left.

"Are you looking for this?" a voice asked from behind me. I turned to the doorway and saw a tall figure of a man no other than Sanosuke, the nosy Sagara. On his right hand was my dagger.

"Uh..yeah?" I answered uncertainly. "Give it to me."

"Where you going?"

"Fishing," I answered, this time with more confidence.

"Really? Can I go with you?"

THis annoyed me. What right did he have to mind my own business? Crossing my arms over my chest, I glared at him. "Excuse me, but why are you acting this way? I said I'm going fishing and I am. Now give it to me!"

He was amused, that bastard and refused to give it to me unless he could tag along. And to add to my misfortune, we met up with the two little girls who I could not take saying no to. So me and Sano, as well as as Ayame and Suzume, headed to the nearby river where we would fish.

The two girls were only eager to fish at first, but later when they laerned you have to wait, they decided playing along the banks was better and left me and Sano to fish in their place. We let them be as we sat side by side on the banks with a wooden pole. Sano gave me back my dagger.

Crossing both arms beneath him, he lied down, a piece of stem stuck in his lips. I bet he was happy he got his way. Deep down, I was also happy that at least, once in my life, I had spent one joyful afternoon with lovable kids and a friend who was really concerned about me. Maybe I should cherish every second isntead of hating myself for letting them talk me into it. We began talking to each other.

The noises drove away the fish. The girl's happy laughter as well as Sano's talking warned them about a predator's presence. That was why I didn't even catch one. I stood up to go to some other place, excusing myself pretending to be upset.

He stopped me sitting up and laying a hand on my shoulder before I could stand up. This got my attention and I turned to him to yell. But his face had gone closer to mine, and I could only stare back at his eyes with realization.

"Oh geez," I muttered under my breath. Those eyes. Eyes as dark as night. Plus the sound of the river. His tall figure. It made me remember something from the not-so distant past. I gasped. "It wasn't a dream then, was it?" I whispered staring at the deep color of his eyes.

He didn't reply, and was going to, when we were interrupted by a hoarse voice. A tall large man stood not so far away, holding a frightened Ayame with his big hands. "So you are here all along, aren't you?" He greeted me with a grin. His face was heavily wrinkled, his forehead scarred. I could not remember him but I was sure he was an enemy. Both me and Sano stood up, eyeing him angrily. What a coward.

"What do you want?" Sano asked him. Suzume was not so far away, crying. She met my eyes and I nodded at her to ran to me. SHe did, and I covered her with a hug. Poor kids. That was why I wanted to leave. Ayame, however, was pale and just stared back at us helplessly. When Sano moved, more enemies revealed themselves who surrounded us.

"That is no longer a question. You know who I want." His eyes went meaningfully to me. "Give her to me and I'll let this kid go."

He was going to protest, but I held him back, standing up from my crouching position. Suzume tugged at my garments, burying her face in my stomach. I held her back, caressing her hair. "Fine. I'll go. Now let her go."

"Don't try to fool us, woman."

"Let her go!" I ordered sternly.

"Fine. But if you dare trick us, all of your friends here will die."

Gently releasing Suzume, I began to walk towards him.

"But --" Sano began but I raised my hand to him.

When I was close enough, I said again. "Now let her go."

The man didn't trust me, but he trusted he could kill me or my companions anytime if I tricked him, so he released the girl who ran to Sano immediately. The man then, pulled me and hit me hard on the stomach. I passed out, but I knew he carried me somewhere.

He wasn't from yakuza. He was from the Kuroi Bara. I could not believe I had forgotten about them. Everything was planned by my arch enemy, Sawagi, the quiet man who loved to hate me. He ws playing leader while Hirobumi ws gone. They kept me in a room, me alone , where during my solitude, I was afraid I would go completely insane just staring at the wall. Every meal time, they served me something, but I ate less and less. I didn't have any appetite.

My dagger was gone. I didn't know who took it. BUt when I saw the glint in my enemy's eyes, I knew it was him. Sawagi. He had some sort of plan to kill me. How he loathed me. But he should know I loath him as well.

Hirobumi came to see me by..I didn't know when. I was unable to trace the number of hours I spent inside the room. It seemed forever. But he came to visit me often and claimed to be an ally. He wanted me back.

"Please. Come back to me," he had said.

During my stay, I felt completely weak. Not only because I barely ate, but because of my wounds which were not tended to, and also the fact that I disobeyed Kaoru and took a bath. I felt myself growing hot, and I knew I going to get ill. When Hirobumi found out about this, he wanted me cured, but I knew it had a price. If there was anything I needed, that was any help from him. I didn't want anything from him. I didn't want anything to do with him. I didn't want any debts. Because I already had so many.

He insisted. That I "come back" to him, although I never really became his and he never got my loyalty. That I get a cure, although I never asked him of anything. "I don't need help. Not anyone's. Not yours," I had replied to him coldly. At times, I would just stare at the ceiling wishing I was dead. It was stupid of me to have wished that something as good as that afternoon, when I was with Sano and the girls, could happen again. It was just a dream then, just a dream. I was so right about cherishing every minute, every second of its reality. Then, all I could do was stare. I felt so helpless.

All in all, Hirobumi was a good leader. A good law offender, if that was how I would put it. He was the only one I could trust, although not really completely trust. Aside from him , all his men seemed to be influenced by that Sawagi. So they all hated me with all their hearts. If they happen to have it.

Hirobumi, a man with long dark hair , and equally dark eyes, would constantly talk to me. He called the doctor, but I refused to any of his help. I just wanted to die then. I was so sick of all these things going on in my life. How come I could not be left in peace? How come there were people suffering in my expense? How come this life of mine sucked hard? How come Sawagi was there, still alive?

The Kuroi Bara leader was patient with me. I didn't understand why he would want me. Surely, there were other capable members of his group. And didn't most of them think that women were nothing but a waste of skin? That was why Hirobumi still got my respect, even though I wasn't in good terms with him. He was one of those few men who didn't categorize people as either weak woman or strong men. He respected me and believed in my abilites, regardless of my age and my gender. But one thing I didn't understand was why he made me do something from the past. I wasn't still sure if he was the one behind the seduction-of-Shinomori-and-bomb-the-bed plot, but if it wasn't him, who would be behind it? Sawagi? I would not ask why. But where was he during that time, if indeed it was Sawagi who planned that? The questions in my mind kept me from trusting anybody at all.

It was one time, where probably Sawagi was unable to contain his fury and entered the room while Hiorbumi was visiting me. It was the first time he ventured to almost clashing with his leader. "I want to challege you."

I said nothing and just stared back at him with a dumb expression as I pulled the covers of the bed up to my chin. It was surprise he spoke. He was usually quiet. The earth must be coming to an end. "I don't lower myself to fighting a scum like you."

"Did you hear that?" he demanded from Hirobumi. "She just insulted me! And isn't it when she insults one of us, it almost as bad as insulting all of us?"

I rolled my eyes and turned my back on them. "Yeah right, Sawagi." Sawagi spared his voice just to pick a fight on me. I should be honored, I know, but I was too lazy. Besides, I wasn't in the condition to fight. One of the things I didn't like was fighting and not confident in winning.

"I challenge you!" he repeated. I heard Hirobumi shut him up but he insisted.

"I want to sleep , please," I told him.

Hirobumi defended me , for whatever reason. It got to Sawagi and the more he wanted to fight me.

"Stop defending me, Mister Leader. I can fight my own battle," I snapped at Hirobumi.

"Did you hear that?" Sawagi asked his head like a kid. He had been acting like a kid since he entered the room. "She just insulted you. She's gonna pay, I swear. I swear."

What was going on? Why were they acting this way?

Angrily, I flipped the covers and sat up straight. "Shut up!" I yelled at him.

He irritated me. Because of that, he was going to pay. I accepted his offer. A fight was going to be held as soon as possible. Sawagi left with a smug smile on his face. Hirobumi turned to me, worry in his eyes. "But --"

"Please," I stopped him. "I'm tired."

He leaned closer, and pulling me, felt the back of his hand on my neck much to much of my surprise. "You're sick. Don't fight him."

"What is it you if I lose, huh?" I asked him quietly.

He gazed back into my eyes. For a moment, I thought I saw the same thing I saw in my Master's eyes, as well as Sano's. But I dismissed it as an illusion and pulling my arm, flipped the covers up to my head.

I heard him sigh. "Because I --"

Whatever he said next, I pretended not to have heard anything. Or it could be a dream. Another dream.

The next day was when I decided to have a fight with him. I still have some remaining strength. Since I had no form of mdication, procastinating it meant decreasing my chances of winning. Yes. Chances. Only chances.

For the first time, I went out to the sun, right by the garden of the house they confined me in. The people formed a circle in the center where our match was going to be held. I saw many faces present there. The people who all looked familiar, including the man with scarred forehead. But that time, my mind was jumbled. I could not even think straight. What if I lost?

Of course, I'd lose, I told myself. The man with scarred forhead had given me my dagger. Just look at yourself now. For a moment, I thought if refusing to see a doctor as well eating my meals were both bad ideas. But then I told myself it was much better than having a debt to any of them. Sawagi came, carrying a weapon. A long wooden stick that was probably even taller than him. He carried the smugest smile of all of them. He was pretty confident of his victory. I hated him. It powered up my desire to win.

The men cheered for him. No one cheered for me. But I saw Hirobumi. He came, and he was watching me. I met his eyes. It was he who turned his head away. He whispered soemthing to the man beside him, and the man came forward, asking if I needed a sword. I declined. I still honor Master Tan's words.

A fight began. He attacked and attacked. All I could do was avoid it. It wasn't easy. His weapon was long. I only had a dagger. On my advantage, with smaller weapon I could move faster and adjust position. But Sawagi had gotten tough. That or I had just became less efficient.

He managed to hit me. On the shoulder. It hurt so much I could not move, which welcomed another hit and so on until it was clear he would win. He hit my chest, making the wounds in my chest bleed, and then my stomach and I coughed out blood. I lost hold of my dagger.

The men cheered for him to kill me.

I knew it would happen.

But he stopped. The noises stopped as well. He looked at me with a sarcastic smile as I curled down in the ground. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Just kill me," I snapped.

"Why does it seem as though you hate me?"

"I hated you from the very beginning."

"That's so bad. I love you."

"Indeed," I replied cynically.

His face became grave. "I love you. I know you wouldn't believe it, but I love you."

He looked dead serious I wanted to believe him. I was confused. He loves me? I wanted to ask, but I didn't. Who cares how he feels? I don't.

"I really love you." His face changed and the smug look reappeared. "That's why I want to kill you."

He was going to hit me with his stick, when darts came flying to us. It hit most people around me before they turn to look at who was behind it. In no time, the place was flooded with bodies which piled on top of each other. I was saved because I was on the ground, but some men fell on me, making things harder.

It was Hirobumi who came to my rescue. He pushed the bodies on top of me and tried to help me go. I dismissed him but he went on. Finally, I was able to stand up with his aid. Suddenly, however, he pushed me out of the way. It took some moment before I could realize what happened.

He was hit as well and he pushed me out of the way. He fell down on the floor, his chest bleeding. I ran to him to help him. During that time, it was pretty chaotic. The people who survived were fighting the newcomers, while the newcomers, whoever they were, had penetrated through and was becoming more and more aggressive. I was lucky to have survived.

"Hang on, Hirobumi," I told him. I was doing my best not to panic. INside, I was torn in saving Hirobumi, although I still had a minor grudge against him for saving me, and going after the man. I know who was behind it, even though I wasn't able to see anyone in particular. I could feel this familiar presence. It was the mysterious man, the enigma. I was going to get him for this.

However, the slowly dying Kuroi Bara leader before me told me I should pay more attention to him than to anything else. He needed my help badly.

In frustration, I told him. "Why did you save me?"

He looked back at me, almost grinning. I wanted to slug him then. But I found it hard seeing the once valiant man I know will be dead in minutes. I took his hand in mine. "Hang on, Hirobumi. Hang on. I'll get you help."

"I don't need help. Not anyone's. Not yours." At the mention of my exact line, I could not help smile at him.

"You're a fool, Hirobumi. A fool."

"And so are you."

I felt his hand losing its grip on mine. I panicked, then found myself desperately calling out his name to hold on. Looking around quickly, I found no source of hope. Everything had gone completely out of control. More people end up dead, either by darts flying or by swords stuck in their bodies. The ground I was stepping on was coated with red blood. To add to that, I saw fire starting at one end. Then Sawagi...I saw him, coming to me. He was bloody. There was a shouting of " A bomb! A bomb!" that even caused panic to those alive.

There were also alerts that the authorities had traced their HQ. THen Hirobumi's hand slid from mine. I looed down at his body. He seemed just sleeping. I cried at him to wake up, but there came to reply. Desperate, I touched his pulse. No pulse. I dropped my head, still begging him to wake up. Again, another being lost his life for my sake.

A pair of shoes so close to mine stopped, causing me to look up and meet Sawagi's ferocious eyes. "Too bad. I was going to kill him."

"Sawagi --" I began. He should know better than to mess up with a woman who was not in the mood.

Pointing his stick at me with one hand, he threw me my dagger with the other . I released Hirobumi, glaring at Sawagi. It was then that I noticed that it was just the two of us in the burning house. The others were either dead or had fled outside in the hands of the arriving cops.

"Now where were we? Oh I remember. I told you I loved you. I still do," he went on, watching me with confident eyes. "Until the end. Now I don't care if both us dies but I'll take you to hell with me."

He became violent, and tried hitting me with his stick. He was serious. One bomb to my right had gone off. Who could be responsible for that?

The fight that begun without my consent told me that I better worry of what was going on. My main business was my "lover" Sawagi, who wanted to me with him to hell. Damn. If hell was going to be with him, then it wasn't just hell.

"Sawagi --" I tried talking to him.

He continued attempting to hit me. I only tried to miss it. I tried thinking straight and anylyze the situation. It didn't really matter who won or lost. At that point, if we do not leave the place, we'll roast. And I didn't like the thought that I died because of something as that. I continued to retreat until the wall was at my back. He got me cornered. I thought of a way to escape.

Not so far away, I saw a window, that allowed me to see a the reflection of the moon on a body of water. A pond! I could ran to it and save myself if Sawagi wanted to commit suicide.

But from the way he looked, it was as though he would not let me go.

Then everything happened so fast. Another explosion. So much smoke I could not see. I remember trying to see, as I coughed for breath. Then strong pair of arms pushed me to the window and me, together with my 'savior', splashed to the water. I remember it was so cold, in the midst of icy waters. So cold I snuggled to the arms of that someone. Before I passed out, I caught glimpse of a mysterious man as he stood on one roof, grinning down at me smugly.

January 99 © Sakeena