The sky of Gotham City was dark and shrouded with grey clouds. Everything was basically normal. Criminals hiding in the shadows away from the city's top superhero, Batman. The funny thing was, Bruce Wayne was perched on top of the Gotham Library watching all of the gang crimes happening. Why am I the only one fighting villains in these fanfiction stories all the time?, He thought.
"Because, I created the story that way before Robin and everyone came along."
"Shut the hell up, Bill Finger," Said Batman, now breaking the forth wall AGAIN after I spent all of that time trying to fix it again before I continued to type this damn story and said, "Now come back alive and make me more comics that don't mess up the storyline or suck."
Bill just walked away back to his grave and said, "No."
Bruce just sighed and said, "There has to be some superhero who could fight side by side with me before that Dick Greyson guy gets here." Just then, the sounds of steel on flesh (Batman's favorite sound) interrupted him before I had to slave over this damn keyboard and type dialogue to please you people and your bunch of cats. Batman jumped from the library roof very dramatically and opened his cape and glided towards the sound, which was luckily the nearest alleyway, since he can't even glide far unless you glitch or unlock it inside of one of your Dark Knight games.
"How sad. You guys thought you could win." The red suited hero put his bloody sword back into their place (I dunno where that guy holds them, inside his back, in special sword holders in his back, I dunno!) and just disappeared farther into the alleyway. Batman looked around at about maybe 20 gang members scattered across the floor with gashes on their bodies and their heads gushing out brains and blood.
Whoever that guy was, Bruce thought, He's my type of superhero, if he is one. He walked into the alleyway to examine the bodies. Halfway through, something popped up in front of him and he screamed like a little girl. "Who are you he?" He yelled.
"Me?" The red masked man made a mean face and said, "I'm your worst nightmare, punk!" The guy laughed after a long awkward moment of watching Batman begin to cry. "I was just kiddin', Bruce! Let up a little, eh?"
Batman wiped his "manly" tears away and straightened up. "Well, who are you? Spiderman or sumthin'?"
The hero jumped from his upside-down Spiderman pose and said, "Nope. I'm older than him by about a decade. The name's Wade Wilson." He held out his hand to shake. "Call me Deadpool or anything that'll float ya' boat." Batman shook his hand with a firm grasp.
"So what're you doing in Gotham, Deadpool?" They began walking deeper into the alleyway.
"Oh, I was in the Heroes for Hire, then I saw your ad for a superhero who could help you out here so I came."
"No I meant, what are you doing in this DC story. You're a Marvel character."
"Well, we've basically done almost everything in there. Just wanted to do something new for the comic book universe." Wade turned to the computer screen and said, "This one's for you, E3!"
"Okay…"
"Anyways, You've got a lot of crime here. A bunch to kill."
"Got that right. So are you staying in a hotel or something?"
Deadpool shrugged. "I thought you were going to have a place inside your cool manor or bat cave or something."
Batman sighed and said, "I knew this was coming. Everytime someone mentions the bat cave they get the urge to sing-"
"Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun! dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun! Batman! Bat- SQWAK!" Bruce grabbed Wade's neck and chocked him furiously.
"Damn DC giving stupid cartoonist creative rights to my theme song! It's so gay!"
Deadpool Note: Kids, don't use gay in a term to say stupid or weird, or even to refer to a gay without permission. What if your mom or dad was gay, huh? HUH? What now, little Billy? Got anymore "gay" remarks, Sally? Now, as long as you mean gay to mean happy, then it's alright!
Deadpool pulled away from Batman's grasp in gay I MEAN HAPPY (not -.-) slow motion. When everything turned back to normal and Deadpool was done doing one damn flip in the air for about 10 minutes of our valuable time, he yelled, "I wish Keanu Reeves was here to save me from The Matrix right NOW!"
Batman shook his head and said, "Shut the hell up and mouth names of fruits as we walk into the shadows to my Manor." And that's what they both did… for about 20 straight minutes, so you just lost 20 minutes of your time reading this exact part that I am typing to stall you right now from your life (If you even have one) I mean the Wizard of Oz even has a life, why don't you find one and move out of your mom's apartment. Yeah, I'm talking about no one. -.- Well… -.-' Thanks for wasting your time reading this!
A/N: Thanks all. This was the first story I've written that has broken the fourth wall over multiple times. I've been interested in writing (well, typing…) this after me and River (xXxRiivahxXx) played Ultimate Alliance 2. That game was awesome. By the way, if you play it and don't pick the Anti side, you're "happy." PLZ REVIEW! (River, any "happy" comments you have, tell me over the phone please. I don't want my readers to see your ignorance on here.) Sike nah, that's beast. Idgaf, cuzzo!