AFTERMATH

They were home safe. Yes, they were all dragging and not one of them had shaved lately. Jarrod was the worst, moving like a man lost in a fog, eyes sunken and black, beard heavier and clothes more rumpled and ill-fitting, but that was to be expected. He had been through a hell his brothers had rescued him from. He wasn't going to come out of it very easily.

Victoria embraced them all, one by one. Nick whispered, "We made it," wearily in her ear as she held him. Heath said, "He's gonna be all right, don't worry." Jarrod said nothing at all, and he did not look at anyone.

Victoria and Audra helped Heath get Jarrod up to his room, where Heath remained to help get him to bed. Audra went to the kitchen to prepare some soup for Jarrod and sandwiches for Nick and Heath. That was when Victoria noticed that Nick had disappeared.

She spent a good ten minutes trying to find him. Worried as she was about Jarrod, she became even more frantic about Nick, but she finally found him, in the library, standing at the empty fireplace and staring into it, and drinking a scotch.

He glanced over his shoulder at her when he heard her come in. He turned, went over to her, and took her into a one-armed hug. "Don't worry, Mother. We're home and he's all right."

"How about you?" she asked.

"I'm all right," Nick said.

"You don't look all right."

Nick heaved a big sigh. "This has been one hellish week. I've never – " He didn't know how to finish the sentence. He just hung his head and shook it.

"Tell me what happened," Victoria said.

Nick looked at her. "I'm not sure you want to know."

"I need to know. Jarrod looks terrible. I've never seen him – " She faltered and began to cry.

Nick took her back into the one-armed hug. "Me, neither," he said.

Victoria wiped her eyes and pulled away again. "I need to know, Nick, the truth. Did he kill Cass Hyatt?"

Nick leveled an honest gaze at her and said, "He came close. We stopped him in time."

"He didn't stop himself?"

Nick shook his head. "No." He debated whether to go into any more detail. Did she really need how close he came to killing Hyatt? Did she really need to know that Jarrod had threatened to kill his brothers, or that the sheriff of Rimfire was within a heartbeat of killing Jarrod? Would Heath tell her all that if he didn't? Nick remembered a time when one of Jarrod's clients held Audra hostage in the school with the children, and his mother gave him a whacking good slap across the face for keeping the information from her.

"How did he get hurt?" she asked.

"He was shot. Probably Hyatt, but nobody really knows. Hyatt didn't confess to that."

"But he did confess to killing Beth."

"Yes."

"And Jarrod knew that?"

"Yes. Mother, do you really want to know any more about this?"

"I want to know what part of it has you so upset."

Nick smiled a little. "I'm that obvious, huh?"

"You were never one to hide your feelings very well. Please, Nick, tell me."

Nick heaved another sigh. "We got to Rimfire just as Jarrod was – drowning Hyatt in a watering trough."

"Oh – " Victoria gasped and looked like she was going to fall over.

Nick moved to put an arm around her again to hold her up, but she quickly got herself together and raised a hand and stopped him.

"Keep going," she said.

"Heath pulled him off Hyatt and got Hyatt out of the water," Nick said. "I pulled Jarrod away and put myself between him and Hyatt. I didn't think he'd – " He stumbled on the next part. "Jarrod pulled his gun on me. He threatened me and when I didn't move, he cocked the gun and threatened me again. Heath told me the sheriff was just about to shoot Jarrod when he let his gun down and walked away. He didn't make it half a block before he just fell over in the street."

Now it was Victoria's turn to take Nick into her arms. "He's not himself, Nick. He didn't know what he was doing."

"No, Mother, he knew exactly what he was doing," Nick said, half angry, half grief-stricken. "You know what I've been thinking about all the way home? You remember when Matt Bentell came here and Heath swore he'd kill him? You stood right over there by the desk. You said you couldn't believe any of your sons could be a cold-blooded murderer. Well, Jarrod could. I'm sorry, Mother, but it's a fact now. He was killing Hyatt. Jarrod could be a cold blooded murderer, and he could have killed me."

"But Nick, he didn't kill either of you."

"I know. But he almost did. And Mother – I've never been so scared in my life. I gambled he wouldn't shoot me, but I was scared, bone scared." Nick had to take a deep breath. "I – I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to look at him the same again."

Nick looked at his mother with complete sincerity in his eyes. It chilled Victoria to her soul. She reached for Nick's hand, and he let her take it gratefully. "I can't believe he'd have hurt you, Nick."

"And you couldn't believe he could be a cold-blooded murderer, but that's what happened in Rimfire. If we had been thirty seconds later, they'd be hanging Jarrod now. I don't know who he is anymore. I just – don't know."

"I will be honest with you, Nick," Victoria said calmly. "I don't know who he is anymore either. I thought about that a lot while you were gone, and I was scared, bone scared, that whether he killed Hyatt or not, I had lost my first born forever. And in some ways, I have. He won't be the same again. WE won't be the same again. But that doesn't mean we won't still be a family. That doesn't mean we won't still love each other. That doesn't mean we won't still love him, and he's going to need to know that. More than anything now, he's going to need to know that. If you can't give him that right now, it doesn't mean you won't be able to give it to him tomorrow. Let things settle down. Don't think that the way you feel now will be the way you feel forever."

Nick looked at her, then gave a glance up to the second floor, before he finished off his glass of scotch. "Well, I'll do the best I can, Mother."

Heath came in then, looking worn but still strong. "Well, I couldn't get him to let me get him out of those clothes, but he did take his shirt and boots off, and he's letting Audra help him eat some soup."

"You two need some food," Victoria said. "Come into the kitchen. Audra's fixed you some sandwiches."

She went out ahead of them. Heath lingered while Nick put his empty glass down, and when Nick straightened, Heath caught his gaze. "You doing all right?" Heath asked.

Nick shrugged. "Best I can expect. I told Mother about everything that happened in Rimfire."

"How'd she take it?"

"Better than I have."

Nick thought he was so tired he'd sleep like the dead, but it didn't happen. Memories and thoughts swirling around in his mind kept him wide awake, even as the house was otherwise quiet. Just as he was finally relaxing, the wind picked up, and the whistling through the windows became so irritating that Nick got up and went downstairs.

He carried a small lamp with him, as it would be very dark down there. Once he reached the foyer, he didn't know what to do. More liquor was not a good idea – he was sure the scotch wearing off was helping to keep him awake. He began to wish it wasn't so windy outside. A walk around the yard might help. For a minute or so, he stood at the foot of the stairs and tried to decide what to do with himself.

Then he saw something in the dark, in the chair by the empty fireplace. Someone was sitting in it.

Nick quietly walked over to the chair. The figure, sitting upright, did not move, even as Nick moved around in front of the chair. He stopped a few feet away so the lamplight would fall on whoever it was.

It was Jarrod. He was sitting there, fully clothed, eyes shut, with a pistol in his right hand, lying across his lap.

Nick's heart plummeted. "Jarrod – "

Jarrod's eyes opened. For a moment, he looked like he had no idea where he was or who Nick was, but then he blinked. "Nick," he said quietly.

Nick came closer, put the lamp on the coffee table in front of Jarrod, and knelt down beside him. "Let me have the gun, Jarrod."

Jarrod held tight to it. "It was all a nightmare, wasn't it? It didn't really happen, did it? Tell me it was a nightmare."

Nick wasn't sure how to respond. If he told him the truth, would Jarrod take that pistol and blow his brains out before Nick could stop him? If he lied, would Jarrod know it, and then who would he shoot, himself? His brother?

"Jarrod, let me have the gun and let's talk," Nick said.

Jarrod still held tight to it, but gazed long into Nick's eyes. "Nick, I never would have – I never could have – tell me it was all a dream, Nick."

Nick moved his hand closer to Jarrod's but did not touch the gun, not yet. "I can't tell you that, Pappy. I can only tell you that it's over. Hyatt is alive and in jail, and you're all right, I'm all right, Heath is all right. We're home and we're safe and it's over. Please, give me the gun."

Jarrod looked down at the gun in his hand. "I've been sitting here for hours. I've been thinking it would be better if – "

"No," Nick said quickly. "No, it wouldn't be better if you put that gun to your head and pulled the trigger, so don't you do it. You think Heath and I followed your trail for a joy ride? You've been in trouble, Pappy, probably the worst trouble of your life until this minute right now. We weren't gonna let you destroy yourself then, and I'm not gonna let you do it now. I love you, Jarrod. I love you with everything in me. Don't you do this. Don't you do this to me."

Jarrod looked at the gun in his hand. His eyes were wet, and he closed them and tilted his head back. Nick moved his hand closer to the gun.