On My Own
by Dracos Lover 1
Chapter 1 (based on "And So It Goes" by Billy Joel)
In every heart there is a room, A sanctuary safe and strong To heal the wounds from lovers past Until a new one comes along...
Draco smiled. He'd found a new hiding-place within the huge manor his father owned. He brushed his bangs out of his ice-blue eyes (he hadn't done his hair, as there was no one but his father in the house) and pushed further into the already recessed portion of wall, celebrating internally as the wall gave. A cloud of dust descended on his white-blond hair, and he coughed delicately. He pressed the wall further, pushing his chest against the stone. His cheek grazed the rough material, drawing a few drops of blood, but Draco would not be distracted. He pushed harder, heels sliding on the cold marble floor.
A click! The door triggered and it slid slowly to the left.
A mouse ran out. Draco jumped back and swore softly. He muttered a spell and the tip of his wand flared up. A dark, dusty corridor led on indefinitely. Pointing his wand ahead, he laid the first dusty footprint. He continued down, noting the slope of the corridor. Running a hand over the rough-hewn wall, he proceeded more quickly. He walked about five metres until he came to a circular wooden door.
This was it. He felt a small thrill as he turned the handle. To his surprise, it was open. He stepped inside, inhaling the musty air delicately. He looked all around...
The room looked something like their servants' rooms, except that it was carved out of solid rock. A small cot lay in the corner, while the opposite wall bore a multitude of photos, paintings, sketches and newspaper clippings of a blue-eyed, scarless version of Harry Potter. Draco blinked. The room was a shrine to James Potter!
Draco heard his father's voice echoing through the cavernous hallways. He swore under his breath. He heard his father's brisk footsteps halt, then pick up speed. Draco dashed to the door, to see his father, surprisingly not angry. In fact, he seemed slightly amused. "How did you find this place?"
Draco grinned. "Just lucky, I guess," he drawled. "Anyway, why Potter?" He indicated the wall and the elaborate candles to each side. James Potter waved back with forty-some hands.
Lucius coloured slightly, for the first time in years. "I asked myself the same question for thirty years. Never did get an answer. Well, now that you found this, you can lock it and use it.'
Draco was looking deeper into the crevaces in the corners. He ran across a gilt hand mirror and decided to check his appearance.
Ugh. He was dusty and dirty, and his bangs were all screwed up. But--who was that behind him? It was--IT WAS HARRY POTTER!!
"Father? What's wrong with this mirror?"
Lucius strode to his son. "Draco--That was made with the Mirror of Erised. You know what that means?"
Draco sounded faintly irritated. "Of course..."
Lucius pressed for more. "What--or whom--do you see, Draco?"
Draco's eyes darkened in confusion. "Potter..."
Lucius froze. "James?" He snapped.
Draco shook his head slightly. "Harry..."
~*~*~*~*~
."You may floo to Diagon Alley alone, Draco. My name is good there, at least. And I should think there will be no report of you in Knockturn." Draco nodded and turned to leave.
Lucius held Draco gently by his forearm. "Draco..." His voice trailed off; the great Lucius Malfoy was at a loss for words. "I hope you...realise your goal, as I didn't..." It was the closest he could come to ' good luck Son' without being sentimental.
~*~*~*~*~
Draco pushed the rough door open, pausing to admire the gilt sign reading 'OLLIVANDERS' on his way through. A bell sounded somewhere in the store, and a wizened old man emerged from the stacks of wand-boxes. "Young Master Malfoy, it is good to see you again. Need a new wand, I presume?"
Draco nodded guiltily, his hands folded behind his back. Mr. Ollivander nodded and disappeared. "We'll start with something similar to your old wand," he called from the back. A moment passed as Draco looked around the store.
Draco jumped as Ollivander appeared. "Try this one."
Draco gave the wand a wave. A slight puff of smoke wafted from the tip.
Ollivander eyed him curiously. "That wand should have worked, unless you had a drastic change of personality..."
He seemed to have an epiphany. He went to a bell jar, where a wand hung suspended in midair. He removed the wand, then handed it to Draco.
Draco waved the wand, and bright green sparks shot from the tip, then swirled into a green whirlwind around him.
Ollivander fell back onto a chair. "I should say that's a match..."
Draco smiled, joy rushing through him as the spell lingered. "My father couldn't come today. Could we...?"
Ollivander's eyes were wide. "Fine...Sir, this wand has only two mates, and was only finished this morning."
Draco frowned. "So?"
Ollivander seemed to be slightly out of breath. "Holly and Phoenix feather. Sound familiar?"
~*~*~*~*~
Draco pulled his hood on, thanked the old wizard absently, then stepped out the door. He failed to notice the large crack in the stone floor, and fell onto the ground, slamming his shoulder in the process. He groaned, trying to stand unsuccessfully.
A hand appeared. Draco took it gratefully and stood. He pulled back his hood. "Thank--"
Harry Potter was looking at him. "You're welcome."
Draco blushed furiously. "I--I've got to go...My father...umm..."
Harry's light gaze turned curious. "All right..."
Draco stood still for a moment, then turned and fled to the nearest store.
~*~*~*~*~
...I spoke to you in cautious tones, You answered me with no pretence And still I feel I've said too much My silence is my self-defence...
The train whistled, and Draco picked up his light bag. He smiled and bid a quiet farewell to his mother, who had come to see him off. His father was away on *ahem* business, so he wasn't able to come.
He stepped on the train, smoothing his hair nervously. He strode through the first car, smiling internally as a few first-years gasped in awe of the majestic sixth-year/god passing through their cabin.
He proceeded straight to the back of the train, ignoring the daggers shooting from the eyes of Pansy and Millicent. When he reached the final cabin he stepped through the curtain cautiously, immediately checking who was in the cabin. He blushed slightly upon realising that this was a sleeper cabin, outfitted with only two large beds, partially hidden by velvet curtains.
On his right, the bed was occupied by the Weasel and the Mu--Granger, currently engaged in...extracurricular activities.
On his left, was a dark-haired boy with glasses and an incredulous look.
Draco felt more colour rise into his cheeks. "Uh... the other cabins were full...can--can I sit here?"
Harry shrugged and patted the bed beside him.
Draco set his bag down and tested the bed for comfort. Finding it satisfactory, he took a careful seat a comfortable distance from the boy- who-lived.
The train gave a final warning before groaning to life on the track. The lovers opposite Draco closed the curtains, and Harry and Draco shared a moment of embarrassed laughter, before settling into a comfortable silence. In that silence they remained for about a third of the trip, until Draco broke the silence, feeling as nervous as he had ever in his life.
"Pott--Harry...um...can I ask you a personal question?"
Harry was looking at him oddly. "All right, but I can't promise an answer."
Draco couldn't meet his green eyes. "Have you ever...ever thought of...doing things with a boy?"
Harry stared at him for what seemed like an eternity, then burst out laughing. "Of course! Why do you think Cho hates me so much?"
Draco's eyes widened. "You mean...?"
Harry nodded. "I think it's time we call a truce."
Draco stuck out his hand. "Friends?"
Harry smiled and shook the profferred hand. "Friends."
Draco looked up into Harry's eyes, falling under a sort of spell as all fears and self-restraint escaped his mind. He pulled against Harry's hand, placing his lips over Harry's for a brief second, then he let go, turning furiously red.
Harry blinked. "Let's take it a little bit slower..." He yawned. "I'm going to sleep." Draco nodded.
Harry pulled off his robes and t-shirt, revealing a well-toned chest that caused Draco to feel giddy. Draco followed suit, showing his smaller, paler chest.
He shifted to lay down on the window side of the car, thinking suddenly about how the bed really was too small. He shifted around and found his back pressed against Harry's. He nearly jumped, but decided the warmth was comfortable and made no effort to move. Harry didn't seem to mind.
Harry...
With that last thought, Draco Malfoy drifted to sleep...
~*~*~*~*~
Draco slowly woke up, feeling a pleasant warmth across his body. He opened his eyes, blinking, and found that he had coiled himself around an amused- looking Harry Potter.
"Good morning, Sunshine. Glad to see you're comfortable." Draco released his grip on Harry.
Harry smoothed Draco's hair gently. "We'd better get dressed, the train should be pulling in soon." He tossed Draco his shirt and robes. Draco took one last glimpse at Harry's chest before pulling his shirt and robes on hastily.
The curtain across the aisle slid open, revealing Hermione combing her hair and Weasley hastily tucking in his shirlt. Hermione yawned and Draco slid behind the partially closed curtain. Hermione smiled and waved. "Hello, Harry. Sleep well?" Harry nodded, and glanced at Draco. Hermione seemed puzzled. "Who are you hiding, Harry? We know you had a thing for Lee last year!"
Harry sighed and pushed back the curtain.
Hermione choked slightly. "MALFOY?!"
Draco coloured slightly (an all-too-familiar feeling these days) and attempted to regain his old sneer.
Hermione's gaze grew cold, and she snorted. "I need some air." She got up and left, moving into the next cabin. Welasley shrugged. "Better follow," he said nonchalantly, but his eyes lingered coldly on Draco.
As the cabin emptied, Harry stared at Draco, looking slightly hurt. "Why don't you smile?" He traced a finger along Draco's jaw. "You're so beautiful when you smile..."
Feeling Harry's warm finger trail across his cold cheek, he could do nothing *but* smile. He closed his eyes as Harry continued the gentle carress. Soft, warm lips found his own, nibbling gently. He felt Harry's other hand slip around behind his neck, pulling him closer. Draco put his arms around Harry's waist, pulling their bodies closer still, and slipped his tongue into Harry's mouth. He nearly fainted with the heat from Harry's mouth, inhaling deeply. He drowned in Harry's scent, falling backward onto the pillow and taking Harry with him. Blood pounded through the pale boy's veins, pushing like relentless crimson rivers eroding his very sanity as he lost his mind--and heart--to Harry Potter.
.Harry slipped a hand gently under Draco's waistband. Draco whimpered through the kiss, tugging on Harry's arm. Harry ended the kiss, breathing hard. "You...You're a virgin, aren't you?"
Draco blushed deeply, looking away. Harry gently turned his head back. "It's no problem."
"What's no problem?" Hermione called, as she entered the room. She froze, noting the situation. Weasley followed Hermione and stopped also, his eyes widening.
Harry blushed, climbing off his blond lover. "Wha-at? You guys were doing stuff all the way up here! Why can't we?"
Hermione stamped her foot. "Because it's MALFOY!!"
Draco felt a sting as the insult sunk in deep.
Harry came to his defence. "There's nothing wrong with him!"
Hermione's eyes shot fire. "There's everything wrong with him!"
Draco felt a single tear threaten to fall from his eye. Pushing it away, he fled to the next cabin, barely holding back the flood until he arrived. Harry followed quickly. "Draco! What's wrong?"
For once, Draco didn't notice the stares of the second-year Ravenclaws. "All your friends hate me!"
Harry draped his arms around the smaller boy's shoulders. His lips brushed Draco's ear. "I don't hate you..." He whispered.
The girls in the cabin squealed, causing both boys to finally realise their presence.
Draco ducked out of Harry's arms. "Let's just go a little slower, like you said, ok?"
Harry smiled. "All right. Let's go get the bags, Sunshine."
~*~*~*~*~
...And every time I've held a rose It seems I only felt the thorns...
Draco dropped his bag in the musty dorm room, looking at the old, albeit large, bed. He smiled, removing his robes gracefully, and settled into bed for a quick nap before dinner.
Harry... It was becoming a familiar thought...
Draco didn't remember his dream. He didn't have time. He woke with a start upon hearing the door creak.
Draco pulled the blanket up to cover himself. "Harry?!"
The boy entered, looking confused. "I know Dumbledore said there were a lot of first years, but he never mentioned using teacher rooms! Especially not inter-House sharing." He sat on the bed next to Draco.
Draco's eyes widened. He started babbling and pulled out a wand. "There's only one bed in here, I just noticed, but that's no problem, I can conjure you another one--"
Harry put his hand over Draco's outstretched one. "Don't..." he whispered.
Draco realised what he meant. Harry pulled him closer, and Draco felt the hot breath caressing his lips. Harry slipped his hand behind Draco's neck, keeping the other on Draco's wand hand. He pulled Draco closer, brushing his pale lips with his own full, soft ones. "Harry... I'm not sure I'm ready to share a bed with anyone yet.."
Harry smiled. "How about this. We share a bed, and I keep my hands to myself."
Draco nodded. Harry attempted to get out of Draco's grasp, but Draco squeezed harder, whimpering. "Don't let go, Harry..."
Harry laughed softly, kissing him gently. "Make up your mind, babe."
"Stay." Draco stared into his green eyes.
Harry stroked his blond head. "I will. But gimme a second." He stood up, removing his own robes. "There. Now we match."
Draco found himself staring in awe of the magnificent body in front of him.
Harry sat back down beside Draco. "You just want to look?"
Draco reached out, running his hand across the warm flesh. Tilting Draco's chin up, Harry kissed him delicately.
~*~*~*~*~
...And so it goes, and so it goes, And so will you, soon, I suppose...
Draco set down his satchel, placing his History texts on top of the bag. He fumbled with the key to what he and Harry jokingly called 'the flat'. He pushed the key into the lock, then paused, hearing voices from within the room.
He placed his ear by the keyhole, listening intently.
Harry's voice came first. "It's not that I don't want to keep doing this. I just think we should tell Draco about it."
...But if my silence made you leave, Then that would be my worst mistake So I will share this room with you And you can have this heart to break...
Draco heard a male voice that sounded like Seamus Finnigan. "He doesn't need to know, Harry!"
Draco had heard enough. He picked up his bag, dropping an inkwell.
The door opened and Harry peeked out, to see Draco fairly running down the hall. He called after Draco, who did not slow down.
~*~*~*~*~
Draco's feet carried him to the residence of the current DADA teacher, one Erik Vanguard. A beautiful blond American, Mr. Vanguard was only nineteen and much preferred to be called by his first name. As an exchange employee with the Ministry, his extensive Auror training made him perfect for the always-vacant position. And something about him gave Draco a...funny feeling...
Draco knocked on the door. Erik pulled it open, revealing an orderly, neat room that still managed to be warm and inviting. "Draco!"
He was wearing a bathrobe. "What can I do for you?"
He was wearing only a bathrobe. "Mr. Vanguard... Erik.. .I--That is to say, er..." He glanced around.
Erik sighed. "Come in."
Draco followed him, admiring the gentle sway of his hips. His body was that perfect combination of muscles, strong but not bulky, and slim, carrying himself with elegance and poise.
They sat on a red sofa. Erik smiled. "What's on your mind, Draco?"
"It's Harry! He was in our bedroom, with Seamus, and they were...uh..."
Erik was moving closer to him, deep brown eyes boring into Draco's. "You're a beautiful creature, Draco. Someone as beautiful as you shouldn't be treated as badly as Harry did..."
~*~*~*~*~
...And this is why my eyes are closed, It's just as well, for all I've seen...
The door swung open. Erik didn't seem to notice. He pulled open the top of Draco's shirt, planting a trail of kisses down his neck.
Harry was standing in the doorway, pure shock written across his face. Draco's mouth twisted into a defiant smile.
The shock shifted to hurt. A single tear trailed down Harry's cheek. He whispered Draco's name, then turned and fled.
Somewhere deep inside, Draco knew what he was doing was wrong. But Erik was very beautiful, and he was doing exciting things, things that called for his immediate attention...
~*~*~*~*~
And so it goes, and so it goes, And you're the only one who knows...
Draco sauntered into the library. Pulling out a scroll of parchment, he sat down at a table. He sarted writing, then noticed a small figure huddled in a seat nearby. Draco rolled his eyes. "Don't have a pity party for yourself. I caught you and Seamus in the flat."
Harry lifted his head, staring through Draco with vacant red-rimmed eyes. "We were borrowing your spellbooks and Seamus didn't want to tell you. You assumed and then--" His voice broke. He curled up again, silent sobs shaking his body. He seemed so small, so broken, that Draco could hardly bring himself to look at his former lover. He gathered his things and went to a place where he knew he could think...
~*~*~*~*~
Draco sat huddled in a green leather chair, gazing into the crackling fireplace and trying to sort it all out.
Severus opened the door and strode into his apartment. He glanced at Draco and nodded, then sat at ancient huge writing desk, grading papers.
After a half an hour he sat down beside Draco. After a few minutes Draco looked at hm. "Severus..."
Severus conjured a cup of black coffee. "What is it?"
Draco sighed. "Have you ever got jealous of Father and found out it was nothing?"
Severus hid a smile. "Absolutely."
Draco seemed uneasy. "What did you do about it?"
Severus's laugh turned into a cough. "I ignored him. I left him alone, stimulating interest until he couldn't bear it. Then I let him believe that I had...caved, if you will. I boosted his ego, which he...really didn't need, actually."
Draco's expression showed that he was weighing the options in his head.
Severus blinked. "Don't even consider trying that with Harry."
Draco frowned. "What do I do?"
Severus shook his head. "I can't offer you any help with that. Do what seems right."
~*~*~*~*~
So I would choose to be with you That's if the choice were mine to make But you can make decisions too And you can have this heart to break...
Draco burst into the Great Hall, uncharacteristically late for breakfast. His robes were wrinkled and his hair was in his eyes. He pushed the hair out of his way, dashing toward the Gryffindor table. He had fallen asleep in front of the fire in Severus's apartment, and woke with a stiff neck.
He ran right to where Harry was sitting.
Harry looked at him coldly. "What do you want?"
Draco sat down next to Harry and kissed him gently, trying to impart his intentions through the contact. "I love you..." he whispered.
The entire Hall had gone silent. Harry stood up, hatred written across his normally benign face. "It's too late for that now, Draco. You had your chance." He left.
Draco was in shock. He stood up, in a dazed state. He stood between the bench and the table, uncomprehending. Then, as the full extent of the agony and humiliation set in, he reeled, falling backward onto the chair. As he hit, he fell backward, unconscious.
An almighty din broke across the Hall. Gryffindors swarmed around the table, spitting and punching at the defenseless boy. A few Slytherins, aided by an irate Professor Snape, pulled him from the crowd while Dumbledore desperately called for order.
Draco had regained consciousness, tears freely flowing across his bruised face. As the Slytherins carried him out the main doors, he saw Harry standing by the stairs. As the procession passed he reached out to Harry, his face blurred by tears...
~*~*~*~*~
Draco sat up in the infirmary, red rimmed eyes devoid of tears. He rubbed his forehead, and looked up.
Harry was walking past the large window with his friends. Draco's eyes followed him out, and as soon as Harry was out of sight, Draco leaned over a bucket and retched, beautiful face contorted in agony.
Harry...
The thought permeated his existence, even now after all.
He lay back down, drifting into a painful, tortured sleep, Harry's face looming before his closed eyes...
And so it goes, and so it goes, And you're the only one who knows...
~*~*~*~*~
A/N: This fic would be fine as a stand alone. I'm thinking, though, about writing another chapter. R/R and tell me what you think about a second chapter please! ^.^
Chapter 1 (based on "And So It Goes" by Billy Joel)
In every heart there is a room, A sanctuary safe and strong To heal the wounds from lovers past Until a new one comes along...
Draco smiled. He'd found a new hiding-place within the huge manor his father owned. He brushed his bangs out of his ice-blue eyes (he hadn't done his hair, as there was no one but his father in the house) and pushed further into the already recessed portion of wall, celebrating internally as the wall gave. A cloud of dust descended on his white-blond hair, and he coughed delicately. He pressed the wall further, pushing his chest against the stone. His cheek grazed the rough material, drawing a few drops of blood, but Draco would not be distracted. He pushed harder, heels sliding on the cold marble floor.
A click! The door triggered and it slid slowly to the left.
A mouse ran out. Draco jumped back and swore softly. He muttered a spell and the tip of his wand flared up. A dark, dusty corridor led on indefinitely. Pointing his wand ahead, he laid the first dusty footprint. He continued down, noting the slope of the corridor. Running a hand over the rough-hewn wall, he proceeded more quickly. He walked about five metres until he came to a circular wooden door.
This was it. He felt a small thrill as he turned the handle. To his surprise, it was open. He stepped inside, inhaling the musty air delicately. He looked all around...
The room looked something like their servants' rooms, except that it was carved out of solid rock. A small cot lay in the corner, while the opposite wall bore a multitude of photos, paintings, sketches and newspaper clippings of a blue-eyed, scarless version of Harry Potter. Draco blinked. The room was a shrine to James Potter!
Draco heard his father's voice echoing through the cavernous hallways. He swore under his breath. He heard his father's brisk footsteps halt, then pick up speed. Draco dashed to the door, to see his father, surprisingly not angry. In fact, he seemed slightly amused. "How did you find this place?"
Draco grinned. "Just lucky, I guess," he drawled. "Anyway, why Potter?" He indicated the wall and the elaborate candles to each side. James Potter waved back with forty-some hands.
Lucius coloured slightly, for the first time in years. "I asked myself the same question for thirty years. Never did get an answer. Well, now that you found this, you can lock it and use it.'
Draco was looking deeper into the crevaces in the corners. He ran across a gilt hand mirror and decided to check his appearance.
Ugh. He was dusty and dirty, and his bangs were all screwed up. But--who was that behind him? It was--IT WAS HARRY POTTER!!
"Father? What's wrong with this mirror?"
Lucius strode to his son. "Draco--That was made with the Mirror of Erised. You know what that means?"
Draco sounded faintly irritated. "Of course..."
Lucius pressed for more. "What--or whom--do you see, Draco?"
Draco's eyes darkened in confusion. "Potter..."
Lucius froze. "James?" He snapped.
Draco shook his head slightly. "Harry..."
~*~*~*~*~
."You may floo to Diagon Alley alone, Draco. My name is good there, at least. And I should think there will be no report of you in Knockturn." Draco nodded and turned to leave.
Lucius held Draco gently by his forearm. "Draco..." His voice trailed off; the great Lucius Malfoy was at a loss for words. "I hope you...realise your goal, as I didn't..." It was the closest he could come to ' good luck Son' without being sentimental.
~*~*~*~*~
Draco pushed the rough door open, pausing to admire the gilt sign reading 'OLLIVANDERS' on his way through. A bell sounded somewhere in the store, and a wizened old man emerged from the stacks of wand-boxes. "Young Master Malfoy, it is good to see you again. Need a new wand, I presume?"
Draco nodded guiltily, his hands folded behind his back. Mr. Ollivander nodded and disappeared. "We'll start with something similar to your old wand," he called from the back. A moment passed as Draco looked around the store.
Draco jumped as Ollivander appeared. "Try this one."
Draco gave the wand a wave. A slight puff of smoke wafted from the tip.
Ollivander eyed him curiously. "That wand should have worked, unless you had a drastic change of personality..."
He seemed to have an epiphany. He went to a bell jar, where a wand hung suspended in midair. He removed the wand, then handed it to Draco.
Draco waved the wand, and bright green sparks shot from the tip, then swirled into a green whirlwind around him.
Ollivander fell back onto a chair. "I should say that's a match..."
Draco smiled, joy rushing through him as the spell lingered. "My father couldn't come today. Could we...?"
Ollivander's eyes were wide. "Fine...Sir, this wand has only two mates, and was only finished this morning."
Draco frowned. "So?"
Ollivander seemed to be slightly out of breath. "Holly and Phoenix feather. Sound familiar?"
~*~*~*~*~
Draco pulled his hood on, thanked the old wizard absently, then stepped out the door. He failed to notice the large crack in the stone floor, and fell onto the ground, slamming his shoulder in the process. He groaned, trying to stand unsuccessfully.
A hand appeared. Draco took it gratefully and stood. He pulled back his hood. "Thank--"
Harry Potter was looking at him. "You're welcome."
Draco blushed furiously. "I--I've got to go...My father...umm..."
Harry's light gaze turned curious. "All right..."
Draco stood still for a moment, then turned and fled to the nearest store.
~*~*~*~*~
...I spoke to you in cautious tones, You answered me with no pretence And still I feel I've said too much My silence is my self-defence...
The train whistled, and Draco picked up his light bag. He smiled and bid a quiet farewell to his mother, who had come to see him off. His father was away on *ahem* business, so he wasn't able to come.
He stepped on the train, smoothing his hair nervously. He strode through the first car, smiling internally as a few first-years gasped in awe of the majestic sixth-year/god passing through their cabin.
He proceeded straight to the back of the train, ignoring the daggers shooting from the eyes of Pansy and Millicent. When he reached the final cabin he stepped through the curtain cautiously, immediately checking who was in the cabin. He blushed slightly upon realising that this was a sleeper cabin, outfitted with only two large beds, partially hidden by velvet curtains.
On his right, the bed was occupied by the Weasel and the Mu--Granger, currently engaged in...extracurricular activities.
On his left, was a dark-haired boy with glasses and an incredulous look.
Draco felt more colour rise into his cheeks. "Uh... the other cabins were full...can--can I sit here?"
Harry shrugged and patted the bed beside him.
Draco set his bag down and tested the bed for comfort. Finding it satisfactory, he took a careful seat a comfortable distance from the boy- who-lived.
The train gave a final warning before groaning to life on the track. The lovers opposite Draco closed the curtains, and Harry and Draco shared a moment of embarrassed laughter, before settling into a comfortable silence. In that silence they remained for about a third of the trip, until Draco broke the silence, feeling as nervous as he had ever in his life.
"Pott--Harry...um...can I ask you a personal question?"
Harry was looking at him oddly. "All right, but I can't promise an answer."
Draco couldn't meet his green eyes. "Have you ever...ever thought of...doing things with a boy?"
Harry stared at him for what seemed like an eternity, then burst out laughing. "Of course! Why do you think Cho hates me so much?"
Draco's eyes widened. "You mean...?"
Harry nodded. "I think it's time we call a truce."
Draco stuck out his hand. "Friends?"
Harry smiled and shook the profferred hand. "Friends."
Draco looked up into Harry's eyes, falling under a sort of spell as all fears and self-restraint escaped his mind. He pulled against Harry's hand, placing his lips over Harry's for a brief second, then he let go, turning furiously red.
Harry blinked. "Let's take it a little bit slower..." He yawned. "I'm going to sleep." Draco nodded.
Harry pulled off his robes and t-shirt, revealing a well-toned chest that caused Draco to feel giddy. Draco followed suit, showing his smaller, paler chest.
He shifted to lay down on the window side of the car, thinking suddenly about how the bed really was too small. He shifted around and found his back pressed against Harry's. He nearly jumped, but decided the warmth was comfortable and made no effort to move. Harry didn't seem to mind.
Harry...
With that last thought, Draco Malfoy drifted to sleep...
~*~*~*~*~
Draco slowly woke up, feeling a pleasant warmth across his body. He opened his eyes, blinking, and found that he had coiled himself around an amused- looking Harry Potter.
"Good morning, Sunshine. Glad to see you're comfortable." Draco released his grip on Harry.
Harry smoothed Draco's hair gently. "We'd better get dressed, the train should be pulling in soon." He tossed Draco his shirt and robes. Draco took one last glimpse at Harry's chest before pulling his shirt and robes on hastily.
The curtain across the aisle slid open, revealing Hermione combing her hair and Weasley hastily tucking in his shirlt. Hermione yawned and Draco slid behind the partially closed curtain. Hermione smiled and waved. "Hello, Harry. Sleep well?" Harry nodded, and glanced at Draco. Hermione seemed puzzled. "Who are you hiding, Harry? We know you had a thing for Lee last year!"
Harry sighed and pushed back the curtain.
Hermione choked slightly. "MALFOY?!"
Draco coloured slightly (an all-too-familiar feeling these days) and attempted to regain his old sneer.
Hermione's gaze grew cold, and she snorted. "I need some air." She got up and left, moving into the next cabin. Welasley shrugged. "Better follow," he said nonchalantly, but his eyes lingered coldly on Draco.
As the cabin emptied, Harry stared at Draco, looking slightly hurt. "Why don't you smile?" He traced a finger along Draco's jaw. "You're so beautiful when you smile..."
Feeling Harry's warm finger trail across his cold cheek, he could do nothing *but* smile. He closed his eyes as Harry continued the gentle carress. Soft, warm lips found his own, nibbling gently. He felt Harry's other hand slip around behind his neck, pulling him closer. Draco put his arms around Harry's waist, pulling their bodies closer still, and slipped his tongue into Harry's mouth. He nearly fainted with the heat from Harry's mouth, inhaling deeply. He drowned in Harry's scent, falling backward onto the pillow and taking Harry with him. Blood pounded through the pale boy's veins, pushing like relentless crimson rivers eroding his very sanity as he lost his mind--and heart--to Harry Potter.
.Harry slipped a hand gently under Draco's waistband. Draco whimpered through the kiss, tugging on Harry's arm. Harry ended the kiss, breathing hard. "You...You're a virgin, aren't you?"
Draco blushed deeply, looking away. Harry gently turned his head back. "It's no problem."
"What's no problem?" Hermione called, as she entered the room. She froze, noting the situation. Weasley followed Hermione and stopped also, his eyes widening.
Harry blushed, climbing off his blond lover. "Wha-at? You guys were doing stuff all the way up here! Why can't we?"
Hermione stamped her foot. "Because it's MALFOY!!"
Draco felt a sting as the insult sunk in deep.
Harry came to his defence. "There's nothing wrong with him!"
Hermione's eyes shot fire. "There's everything wrong with him!"
Draco felt a single tear threaten to fall from his eye. Pushing it away, he fled to the next cabin, barely holding back the flood until he arrived. Harry followed quickly. "Draco! What's wrong?"
For once, Draco didn't notice the stares of the second-year Ravenclaws. "All your friends hate me!"
Harry draped his arms around the smaller boy's shoulders. His lips brushed Draco's ear. "I don't hate you..." He whispered.
The girls in the cabin squealed, causing both boys to finally realise their presence.
Draco ducked out of Harry's arms. "Let's just go a little slower, like you said, ok?"
Harry smiled. "All right. Let's go get the bags, Sunshine."
~*~*~*~*~
...And every time I've held a rose It seems I only felt the thorns...
Draco dropped his bag in the musty dorm room, looking at the old, albeit large, bed. He smiled, removing his robes gracefully, and settled into bed for a quick nap before dinner.
Harry... It was becoming a familiar thought...
Draco didn't remember his dream. He didn't have time. He woke with a start upon hearing the door creak.
Draco pulled the blanket up to cover himself. "Harry?!"
The boy entered, looking confused. "I know Dumbledore said there were a lot of first years, but he never mentioned using teacher rooms! Especially not inter-House sharing." He sat on the bed next to Draco.
Draco's eyes widened. He started babbling and pulled out a wand. "There's only one bed in here, I just noticed, but that's no problem, I can conjure you another one--"
Harry put his hand over Draco's outstretched one. "Don't..." he whispered.
Draco realised what he meant. Harry pulled him closer, and Draco felt the hot breath caressing his lips. Harry slipped his hand behind Draco's neck, keeping the other on Draco's wand hand. He pulled Draco closer, brushing his pale lips with his own full, soft ones. "Harry... I'm not sure I'm ready to share a bed with anyone yet.."
Harry smiled. "How about this. We share a bed, and I keep my hands to myself."
Draco nodded. Harry attempted to get out of Draco's grasp, but Draco squeezed harder, whimpering. "Don't let go, Harry..."
Harry laughed softly, kissing him gently. "Make up your mind, babe."
"Stay." Draco stared into his green eyes.
Harry stroked his blond head. "I will. But gimme a second." He stood up, removing his own robes. "There. Now we match."
Draco found himself staring in awe of the magnificent body in front of him.
Harry sat back down beside Draco. "You just want to look?"
Draco reached out, running his hand across the warm flesh. Tilting Draco's chin up, Harry kissed him delicately.
~*~*~*~*~
...And so it goes, and so it goes, And so will you, soon, I suppose...
Draco set down his satchel, placing his History texts on top of the bag. He fumbled with the key to what he and Harry jokingly called 'the flat'. He pushed the key into the lock, then paused, hearing voices from within the room.
He placed his ear by the keyhole, listening intently.
Harry's voice came first. "It's not that I don't want to keep doing this. I just think we should tell Draco about it."
...But if my silence made you leave, Then that would be my worst mistake So I will share this room with you And you can have this heart to break...
Draco heard a male voice that sounded like Seamus Finnigan. "He doesn't need to know, Harry!"
Draco had heard enough. He picked up his bag, dropping an inkwell.
The door opened and Harry peeked out, to see Draco fairly running down the hall. He called after Draco, who did not slow down.
~*~*~*~*~
Draco's feet carried him to the residence of the current DADA teacher, one Erik Vanguard. A beautiful blond American, Mr. Vanguard was only nineteen and much preferred to be called by his first name. As an exchange employee with the Ministry, his extensive Auror training made him perfect for the always-vacant position. And something about him gave Draco a...funny feeling...
Draco knocked on the door. Erik pulled it open, revealing an orderly, neat room that still managed to be warm and inviting. "Draco!"
He was wearing a bathrobe. "What can I do for you?"
He was wearing only a bathrobe. "Mr. Vanguard... Erik.. .I--That is to say, er..." He glanced around.
Erik sighed. "Come in."
Draco followed him, admiring the gentle sway of his hips. His body was that perfect combination of muscles, strong but not bulky, and slim, carrying himself with elegance and poise.
They sat on a red sofa. Erik smiled. "What's on your mind, Draco?"
"It's Harry! He was in our bedroom, with Seamus, and they were...uh..."
Erik was moving closer to him, deep brown eyes boring into Draco's. "You're a beautiful creature, Draco. Someone as beautiful as you shouldn't be treated as badly as Harry did..."
~*~*~*~*~
...And this is why my eyes are closed, It's just as well, for all I've seen...
The door swung open. Erik didn't seem to notice. He pulled open the top of Draco's shirt, planting a trail of kisses down his neck.
Harry was standing in the doorway, pure shock written across his face. Draco's mouth twisted into a defiant smile.
The shock shifted to hurt. A single tear trailed down Harry's cheek. He whispered Draco's name, then turned and fled.
Somewhere deep inside, Draco knew what he was doing was wrong. But Erik was very beautiful, and he was doing exciting things, things that called for his immediate attention...
~*~*~*~*~
And so it goes, and so it goes, And you're the only one who knows...
Draco sauntered into the library. Pulling out a scroll of parchment, he sat down at a table. He sarted writing, then noticed a small figure huddled in a seat nearby. Draco rolled his eyes. "Don't have a pity party for yourself. I caught you and Seamus in the flat."
Harry lifted his head, staring through Draco with vacant red-rimmed eyes. "We were borrowing your spellbooks and Seamus didn't want to tell you. You assumed and then--" His voice broke. He curled up again, silent sobs shaking his body. He seemed so small, so broken, that Draco could hardly bring himself to look at his former lover. He gathered his things and went to a place where he knew he could think...
~*~*~*~*~
Draco sat huddled in a green leather chair, gazing into the crackling fireplace and trying to sort it all out.
Severus opened the door and strode into his apartment. He glanced at Draco and nodded, then sat at ancient huge writing desk, grading papers.
After a half an hour he sat down beside Draco. After a few minutes Draco looked at hm. "Severus..."
Severus conjured a cup of black coffee. "What is it?"
Draco sighed. "Have you ever got jealous of Father and found out it was nothing?"
Severus hid a smile. "Absolutely."
Draco seemed uneasy. "What did you do about it?"
Severus's laugh turned into a cough. "I ignored him. I left him alone, stimulating interest until he couldn't bear it. Then I let him believe that I had...caved, if you will. I boosted his ego, which he...really didn't need, actually."
Draco's expression showed that he was weighing the options in his head.
Severus blinked. "Don't even consider trying that with Harry."
Draco frowned. "What do I do?"
Severus shook his head. "I can't offer you any help with that. Do what seems right."
~*~*~*~*~
So I would choose to be with you That's if the choice were mine to make But you can make decisions too And you can have this heart to break...
Draco burst into the Great Hall, uncharacteristically late for breakfast. His robes were wrinkled and his hair was in his eyes. He pushed the hair out of his way, dashing toward the Gryffindor table. He had fallen asleep in front of the fire in Severus's apartment, and woke with a stiff neck.
He ran right to where Harry was sitting.
Harry looked at him coldly. "What do you want?"
Draco sat down next to Harry and kissed him gently, trying to impart his intentions through the contact. "I love you..." he whispered.
The entire Hall had gone silent. Harry stood up, hatred written across his normally benign face. "It's too late for that now, Draco. You had your chance." He left.
Draco was in shock. He stood up, in a dazed state. He stood between the bench and the table, uncomprehending. Then, as the full extent of the agony and humiliation set in, he reeled, falling backward onto the chair. As he hit, he fell backward, unconscious.
An almighty din broke across the Hall. Gryffindors swarmed around the table, spitting and punching at the defenseless boy. A few Slytherins, aided by an irate Professor Snape, pulled him from the crowd while Dumbledore desperately called for order.
Draco had regained consciousness, tears freely flowing across his bruised face. As the Slytherins carried him out the main doors, he saw Harry standing by the stairs. As the procession passed he reached out to Harry, his face blurred by tears...
~*~*~*~*~
Draco sat up in the infirmary, red rimmed eyes devoid of tears. He rubbed his forehead, and looked up.
Harry was walking past the large window with his friends. Draco's eyes followed him out, and as soon as Harry was out of sight, Draco leaned over a bucket and retched, beautiful face contorted in agony.
Harry...
The thought permeated his existence, even now after all.
He lay back down, drifting into a painful, tortured sleep, Harry's face looming before his closed eyes...
And so it goes, and so it goes, And you're the only one who knows...
~*~*~*~*~
A/N: This fic would be fine as a stand alone. I'm thinking, though, about writing another chapter. R/R and tell me what you think about a second chapter please! ^.^