In My Uncertainty
Sano and Megumi Fic
by dyosa :)
***
In My Uncertainty
Unknown
I choose to love you in my silence
For in my silence, I find no rejection
I choose to adore you in my loneliness
For there, nobody owns you but I
I choose to admire you from a distance
For the distance shields me from pain
I choose to kiss you in the wind
For the wind is gentler than my lips
I choose to imprison you in my thoughts
For in my thoughts I can set you free
I choose to love you in my dreams
For in my dreams, there is no end.
******
Standard disclaimers apply. On the characters as well as the poem :)
******
/Hmph, there she goes again./ Sanosuke Sagara smirked while standing
amidst the crowded marketplace with his hands in his pockets.
To whom he's referring to? Ah, the Fox Lady. Megumi Takani was just
pouting away from him, another result of one of their never ending taunts
and arguments.
As the rooster--er--gangster watched the lady doctor getting farther away
from him by the minute, being covered once in a while by the ever growing
customers in the busy street, his sneer-painted face slowly melted into a
sadden, but yearning, look. I guess our big man is soft hearted, too, eh?
And again, memories from weeks ago came crashing to his visions
once more...
Megumi tending Kenshin's wounds on his back...
Softly spoken words that are blown by the winds...
Ungraspable, yet intimate...
Then, slowly, she rests her forehead on Kenshin's back...
He was watching them from their farther left side, therefore not
being able to see their faces. But, yet, this little action provoked a burning
jealousy and an unknown pain piercing him deep in his chest.
He stumbled onto them like that, but after then, he never showed these
feelings to anybody for a very long time. Even to Kaoru who found him
standing unmoving by the doorway. He didn't want to confront Kenshin
about it because he's his friend, and that because he knew undoubtedly
that the only woman Kenshin would ever want was Kaoru. Not to Megumi,
because it would only start another heated argument between them.
Lastly, it would only sound foolish.
But it seems his pained feelings kept gnawing him inside.
He then tore his gaze away, walking to the opposite direction, carrying his
heavy feet though not knowing where to go, just not to that *other*
direction.
/Why am I feeling like this? Why to her, of all people?!?/ the tough
man thought frustratedly. Well, like God, love works in mysterious ways.
It just so happens that our guy here was struck by lightning on
the very moment she entered that gambling room and pleaded for their
help.
/Okay, she's got the hair, the face, and definitely the body,/
Sanosuke contemplated,/but it's just not it! /
"What the hell does she have that's so damn irresistible?!?" he whispered to
himself hoarsely, raking his dark brown hair infuriatingly.
A faint call that became louder from behind suddenly distracted his
speculations.
"Hey Sano, where are you going?" Yahiko called, as he ran after him on the
street.
"Huh? Well, I--" Sano stuttered.
"Well, aren't you coming with us for lunch in the Akabeko?" Yahiko asked
impatiently.
"Well..." Sano started, for the first time feeling a bit hesitant if he should join them on having lunch, free of charge.
"Come on, we don't have all day! Besides, I'm starving already!" Yahiko
exclaimed as he pulled the tall lad by the sleeve.
During lunch, Sano was still thinking about the same woman since that
morning. He wasn't paying much attention to his free food, just slowly
nibbling and eating less than before, with a much lesser enthusiasm.
/Well, there's nothing much appealing to her personality though. I know
she's a potential suicidal woman.../ then contemplated a bit more, /But I
guess after Kenshin convinced her that instead of taking her life, she might
as well continue using her talent by helping other people. In that way she
can atone for her wrongs. I can't deny the fact that she's devoting
herself into it, and she's doing really good.../
"Hey Sano, are you feeling ill or something?" Kaoru asked in a concerned
tone.
"Huh? Uh, no. No prob, Jou-chan." He replied, though the girl was not that
convinced with his detached tone of voice.
"Well, how come you haven't even finished your food? Your bowl is still half-
full." Yahiko asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
"Yes, Sano. It seems that something's troubling you very badly." Kenshin
added in.
"No, no! I'm alright, really!" Sano exclaimed, scratching the back his head
and laughing foolishly.
"No, I don't think so. I think you need a visit to Dr. Genzi's clinic." Kaoru
said in an authoritative voice.
"Wha--?" Sano was cut off when three pairs of arms suddenly pulled him
outside the restaurant and into the street.
/Ah, man! It means I have to see the fox then./ Sano panicked, though
the thought of seeing Megumi thrilled him.
/But then, it means I'll have to argue with her again. Why does it have to
be like that when we meet? I can barely remember any conversation we
had that is civilized. I guess that's the way we are. But I just wish for once not to argue with her and see what it's like. But then again, I'll just have
to keep dreaming./ he thought ruefully.
"C'mon, guys! I said I'm okay, aw'right!?" Sano exclaimed desperately, not
being able to let go from the vice grips of Yahiko and Kaoru, and also
taking notice of Kenshin's left hand lightly resting on his sakabatou.
"Don't worry Sano. Once we get to the clinic, you'll be alright." Kenshin
chided lightheartedly.
At this point, our little gangster seemed to have no escape.
"Ken-nii!!!" squealed the two children, Ayame and Suzume, from
the clinic's doorway.
"Hello, girls, where's your jiya?" Kenshin greeted cheerfully as he
hunched down to their small height.
"I'm sorry, but Dr. Genzai's not here right now, Ken-san. What can I
do for you?" Megumi suddenly replied courteously coming from another room.
Sano wasn't looking inside the room and kept staring stubbornly
outside the doorway with his hands shoved in his pockets, though his arms
where still hooked into Kaoru's and Yahiko's. But he's badly aware of the
lady doctor's presence once she entered the room. When he heard her
voice, he tried so hard to ignore it but was somehow mesmerized by her
refined tone and could not resist to at least turn his eyes slightly to her
without turning his head.
"Well, Sano here looks ill and we're beginning to worry. Can you
check him up?" Kenshin asked.
"Why? Did he lose into another gamble again?" Megumi taunted,
looking speculatively at Sano.
/No, fox. I won't give in to your bait coz I'm not in the mood./
Sano said to himself indignantly, not replying to her taunt.
"Well, it seems he's not eating very well during our lunch in the
Akabeko, that's what I've observed." Kaoru implored.
"Yeah, but if it's Kaoru's cooking, it's understandable." Yahiko
jeered.
"Why you--" Kaoru started, then grabbed the moment by hitting
Yahiko on the head.
/Well, he's silent today. Wonder what's going on?/ Megumi
raised her brow slightly.
After a pause, Megumi then motioned Sano into the other room.
"I'll check him up, why don't you make yourselves comfortable
here?" Megumi asked.
"Thanks, Megumi." Kaoru replied, returning her attention to the
doctor, while leaving Yahiko as he tended on his sore lump on the head.
"Ken-nii! Let's play!" the two children cheered on.
"First, let me check your hand." Megumi said, as both of them sat
on the matted floor facing each other.
Sano reached out with his right hand without looking at her and
was gently inspected by Megumi. After feeling if ever there were still
broken bones on any part of his hand, she started to remove the worn out
bandages. There were a few old healing bruises, the result of the fight in
Shishio's stronghold that were much worse compared to those he attained
from his smaller fights before. Shishio really made a mess with his right
hand, leaving him inept to use it for some weeks, much less to fight. But
the old wounds were slowly disappearing, though she noticed a fresh
swelling around his knuckles.
Megumi sighed, making Sano's head turn to her inquisitively.
"Sano, didn't I tell you not to engage into any fights yet? Your
hand is already healing steadily so don't ruin the process!" Megumi scolded
firmly, as she wrap his wrist with a new set of clean linen.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Sano shrugged, not wanting to argue
with her, but somehow feeling a bit grateful for Megumi's sincerity, although
not at all gentle.
Another lapse of silence. Megumi creased her brow in thought, as
she made a side glance on his blank face, but noticing the mixed emotions
that was evident in his deep cinnamon eyes. She was a bit surprised with
Sano's agreement, but left the subject hanging.
She then reached out for his forehead, and instinctively, Sano was
starting to reach to remove his red band when she stopped him by placing
her hand over his.
"No, let me." Megumi offered.
Sano was a bit surprised, but he let the fox get her way. Megumi
then gently traced the edges of the band, slightly touching Sano's exposed
skin, slowly getting to the back of his head to untie the knot, nearing to his
frame at the process. As she does this, their faces, side by side, were
scantly inches away from each other. Sano can feel the warm feathery
breath of Megumi down his cheeks to his neck, sending warm currents
creeping up his spine, giving him much difficulty in controlling his breathing.
/Damn it fox, will you hurry up untying that thing!!/ Sano prayed
desperately.
Megumi noticed Sano's tenseness as his jaws clenched in agitation.
His nearness suddenly assailed her senses, slightly catching her breath.
Megumi then pulled away, a bit abruptly, just in time before Sano
loses his will to keep still. She placed his red band gently on Sano's lap,
which he caught, then reached for his forehead and dislodged the bandage.
She pushed his hair away as she applied a bit of ointment on the almost
healed bruise, which gave Sano a start, feeling a slight burning sensation
on his forehead.
"This will be my last application of the ointment. The cut is already
healing so I'm hoping you won't use your forehead for head banging."
Megumi exclaimed in a serious tone.
Sano grinned, letting out a chuckle deep in his chest. Megumi was
a bit startled with his reaction, but was able to overcome her composure at
the moment.
"Well, it seems that you're health is getting better. There are no
infections whatsoever in your bruises and you're not having any fever. So,
why is it that you're feeling ill?" Megumi questioned while fixing some things
on the table.
"No, I'm not feeling ill. Jou-chan and the others just insisted that I
was looking ill." Sano said casually, while flexing and unflexing his right hand.
Then stood up and tied back his band around his head.
"So?" Megumi prodded, watching his back on her.
Sano let out a deep breath then slightly inclined his head towards
her, "So nothing."
He began leaving the room, Megumi just following behind. The
others looked up from their position and saw the both of them with inquiring
looks.
"His wounds are quickly healing so there's nothing to worry about."
Sano heard Megumi from behind as he nears the door, "but I'm afraid I can
never cure his lovesickness, I told you that before haven't I?" Megumi
ridiculed, looking at Sano mischievously.
Sano suddenly stopped at the door, with his hands in his pockets,
then said without turning around.
"Why don't you try catching the fever, Megumi. And see what it
feels like."
Megumi was speechless, her red lips forming a perfect 'o', her
eyes wide with complete surprise.
Sano smiled, knowing her reaction without looking at her. Then
he followed coolly, "Thanks for checking me up. Ja."
After a slight raise of his right hand over his shoulder, he left.
A very agonizing pause followed. Then the tension broke.
"Hey, what's with him?" Yahiko asked incredulously, a very
surprised look on his face. The two younger children were also looking
askance, not knowing what the adults were discussing. Kaoru's downcast
head had her hand covering her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh. And
Kenshin, as usual, was displaying his innocent smile, but knowing deep
inside what Sano was trying to imply.
Again, the refined lady doctor was able to regain her composure
for the second time. But unable to clear out the faint flush on her cheeks.
She then mused to herself, thinking thoughts that were long hidden and
firmly denied from others, as well as from herself,
/Yes, maybe I'll have to take your word for it... roosterhead./
**OWARI**
Sano and Megumi Fic
by dyosa :)
***
In My Uncertainty
Unknown
I choose to love you in my silence
For in my silence, I find no rejection
I choose to adore you in my loneliness
For there, nobody owns you but I
I choose to admire you from a distance
For the distance shields me from pain
I choose to kiss you in the wind
For the wind is gentler than my lips
I choose to imprison you in my thoughts
For in my thoughts I can set you free
I choose to love you in my dreams
For in my dreams, there is no end.
******
Standard disclaimers apply. On the characters as well as the poem :)
******
/Hmph, there she goes again./ Sanosuke Sagara smirked while standing
amidst the crowded marketplace with his hands in his pockets.
To whom he's referring to? Ah, the Fox Lady. Megumi Takani was just
pouting away from him, another result of one of their never ending taunts
and arguments.
As the rooster--er--gangster watched the lady doctor getting farther away
from him by the minute, being covered once in a while by the ever growing
customers in the busy street, his sneer-painted face slowly melted into a
sadden, but yearning, look. I guess our big man is soft hearted, too, eh?
And again, memories from weeks ago came crashing to his visions
once more...
Megumi tending Kenshin's wounds on his back...
Softly spoken words that are blown by the winds...
Ungraspable, yet intimate...
Then, slowly, she rests her forehead on Kenshin's back...
He was watching them from their farther left side, therefore not
being able to see their faces. But, yet, this little action provoked a burning
jealousy and an unknown pain piercing him deep in his chest.
He stumbled onto them like that, but after then, he never showed these
feelings to anybody for a very long time. Even to Kaoru who found him
standing unmoving by the doorway. He didn't want to confront Kenshin
about it because he's his friend, and that because he knew undoubtedly
that the only woman Kenshin would ever want was Kaoru. Not to Megumi,
because it would only start another heated argument between them.
Lastly, it would only sound foolish.
But it seems his pained feelings kept gnawing him inside.
He then tore his gaze away, walking to the opposite direction, carrying his
heavy feet though not knowing where to go, just not to that *other*
direction.
/Why am I feeling like this? Why to her, of all people?!?/ the tough
man thought frustratedly. Well, like God, love works in mysterious ways.
It just so happens that our guy here was struck by lightning on
the very moment she entered that gambling room and pleaded for their
help.
/Okay, she's got the hair, the face, and definitely the body,/
Sanosuke contemplated,/but it's just not it! /
"What the hell does she have that's so damn irresistible?!?" he whispered to
himself hoarsely, raking his dark brown hair infuriatingly.
A faint call that became louder from behind suddenly distracted his
speculations.
"Hey Sano, where are you going?" Yahiko called, as he ran after him on the
street.
"Huh? Well, I--" Sano stuttered.
"Well, aren't you coming with us for lunch in the Akabeko?" Yahiko asked
impatiently.
"Well..." Sano started, for the first time feeling a bit hesitant if he should join them on having lunch, free of charge.
"Come on, we don't have all day! Besides, I'm starving already!" Yahiko
exclaimed as he pulled the tall lad by the sleeve.
During lunch, Sano was still thinking about the same woman since that
morning. He wasn't paying much attention to his free food, just slowly
nibbling and eating less than before, with a much lesser enthusiasm.
/Well, there's nothing much appealing to her personality though. I know
she's a potential suicidal woman.../ then contemplated a bit more, /But I
guess after Kenshin convinced her that instead of taking her life, she might
as well continue using her talent by helping other people. In that way she
can atone for her wrongs. I can't deny the fact that she's devoting
herself into it, and she's doing really good.../
"Hey Sano, are you feeling ill or something?" Kaoru asked in a concerned
tone.
"Huh? Uh, no. No prob, Jou-chan." He replied, though the girl was not that
convinced with his detached tone of voice.
"Well, how come you haven't even finished your food? Your bowl is still half-
full." Yahiko asked, eyeing him suspiciously.
"Yes, Sano. It seems that something's troubling you very badly." Kenshin
added in.
"No, no! I'm alright, really!" Sano exclaimed, scratching the back his head
and laughing foolishly.
"No, I don't think so. I think you need a visit to Dr. Genzi's clinic." Kaoru
said in an authoritative voice.
"Wha--?" Sano was cut off when three pairs of arms suddenly pulled him
outside the restaurant and into the street.
/Ah, man! It means I have to see the fox then./ Sano panicked, though
the thought of seeing Megumi thrilled him.
/But then, it means I'll have to argue with her again. Why does it have to
be like that when we meet? I can barely remember any conversation we
had that is civilized. I guess that's the way we are. But I just wish for once not to argue with her and see what it's like. But then again, I'll just have
to keep dreaming./ he thought ruefully.
"C'mon, guys! I said I'm okay, aw'right!?" Sano exclaimed desperately, not
being able to let go from the vice grips of Yahiko and Kaoru, and also
taking notice of Kenshin's left hand lightly resting on his sakabatou.
"Don't worry Sano. Once we get to the clinic, you'll be alright." Kenshin
chided lightheartedly.
At this point, our little gangster seemed to have no escape.
"Ken-nii!!!" squealed the two children, Ayame and Suzume, from
the clinic's doorway.
"Hello, girls, where's your jiya?" Kenshin greeted cheerfully as he
hunched down to their small height.
"I'm sorry, but Dr. Genzai's not here right now, Ken-san. What can I
do for you?" Megumi suddenly replied courteously coming from another room.
Sano wasn't looking inside the room and kept staring stubbornly
outside the doorway with his hands shoved in his pockets, though his arms
where still hooked into Kaoru's and Yahiko's. But he's badly aware of the
lady doctor's presence once she entered the room. When he heard her
voice, he tried so hard to ignore it but was somehow mesmerized by her
refined tone and could not resist to at least turn his eyes slightly to her
without turning his head.
"Well, Sano here looks ill and we're beginning to worry. Can you
check him up?" Kenshin asked.
"Why? Did he lose into another gamble again?" Megumi taunted,
looking speculatively at Sano.
/No, fox. I won't give in to your bait coz I'm not in the mood./
Sano said to himself indignantly, not replying to her taunt.
"Well, it seems he's not eating very well during our lunch in the
Akabeko, that's what I've observed." Kaoru implored.
"Yeah, but if it's Kaoru's cooking, it's understandable." Yahiko
jeered.
"Why you--" Kaoru started, then grabbed the moment by hitting
Yahiko on the head.
/Well, he's silent today. Wonder what's going on?/ Megumi
raised her brow slightly.
After a pause, Megumi then motioned Sano into the other room.
"I'll check him up, why don't you make yourselves comfortable
here?" Megumi asked.
"Thanks, Megumi." Kaoru replied, returning her attention to the
doctor, while leaving Yahiko as he tended on his sore lump on the head.
"Ken-nii! Let's play!" the two children cheered on.
"First, let me check your hand." Megumi said, as both of them sat
on the matted floor facing each other.
Sano reached out with his right hand without looking at her and
was gently inspected by Megumi. After feeling if ever there were still
broken bones on any part of his hand, she started to remove the worn out
bandages. There were a few old healing bruises, the result of the fight in
Shishio's stronghold that were much worse compared to those he attained
from his smaller fights before. Shishio really made a mess with his right
hand, leaving him inept to use it for some weeks, much less to fight. But
the old wounds were slowly disappearing, though she noticed a fresh
swelling around his knuckles.
Megumi sighed, making Sano's head turn to her inquisitively.
"Sano, didn't I tell you not to engage into any fights yet? Your
hand is already healing steadily so don't ruin the process!" Megumi scolded
firmly, as she wrap his wrist with a new set of clean linen.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Sano shrugged, not wanting to argue
with her, but somehow feeling a bit grateful for Megumi's sincerity, although
not at all gentle.
Another lapse of silence. Megumi creased her brow in thought, as
she made a side glance on his blank face, but noticing the mixed emotions
that was evident in his deep cinnamon eyes. She was a bit surprised with
Sano's agreement, but left the subject hanging.
She then reached out for his forehead, and instinctively, Sano was
starting to reach to remove his red band when she stopped him by placing
her hand over his.
"No, let me." Megumi offered.
Sano was a bit surprised, but he let the fox get her way. Megumi
then gently traced the edges of the band, slightly touching Sano's exposed
skin, slowly getting to the back of his head to untie the knot, nearing to his
frame at the process. As she does this, their faces, side by side, were
scantly inches away from each other. Sano can feel the warm feathery
breath of Megumi down his cheeks to his neck, sending warm currents
creeping up his spine, giving him much difficulty in controlling his breathing.
/Damn it fox, will you hurry up untying that thing!!/ Sano prayed
desperately.
Megumi noticed Sano's tenseness as his jaws clenched in agitation.
His nearness suddenly assailed her senses, slightly catching her breath.
Megumi then pulled away, a bit abruptly, just in time before Sano
loses his will to keep still. She placed his red band gently on Sano's lap,
which he caught, then reached for his forehead and dislodged the bandage.
She pushed his hair away as she applied a bit of ointment on the almost
healed bruise, which gave Sano a start, feeling a slight burning sensation
on his forehead.
"This will be my last application of the ointment. The cut is already
healing so I'm hoping you won't use your forehead for head banging."
Megumi exclaimed in a serious tone.
Sano grinned, letting out a chuckle deep in his chest. Megumi was
a bit startled with his reaction, but was able to overcome her composure at
the moment.
"Well, it seems that you're health is getting better. There are no
infections whatsoever in your bruises and you're not having any fever. So,
why is it that you're feeling ill?" Megumi questioned while fixing some things
on the table.
"No, I'm not feeling ill. Jou-chan and the others just insisted that I
was looking ill." Sano said casually, while flexing and unflexing his right hand.
Then stood up and tied back his band around his head.
"So?" Megumi prodded, watching his back on her.
Sano let out a deep breath then slightly inclined his head towards
her, "So nothing."
He began leaving the room, Megumi just following behind. The
others looked up from their position and saw the both of them with inquiring
looks.
"His wounds are quickly healing so there's nothing to worry about."
Sano heard Megumi from behind as he nears the door, "but I'm afraid I can
never cure his lovesickness, I told you that before haven't I?" Megumi
ridiculed, looking at Sano mischievously.
Sano suddenly stopped at the door, with his hands in his pockets,
then said without turning around.
"Why don't you try catching the fever, Megumi. And see what it
feels like."
Megumi was speechless, her red lips forming a perfect 'o', her
eyes wide with complete surprise.
Sano smiled, knowing her reaction without looking at her. Then
he followed coolly, "Thanks for checking me up. Ja."
After a slight raise of his right hand over his shoulder, he left.
A very agonizing pause followed. Then the tension broke.
"Hey, what's with him?" Yahiko asked incredulously, a very
surprised look on his face. The two younger children were also looking
askance, not knowing what the adults were discussing. Kaoru's downcast
head had her hand covering her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh. And
Kenshin, as usual, was displaying his innocent smile, but knowing deep
inside what Sano was trying to imply.
Again, the refined lady doctor was able to regain her composure
for the second time. But unable to clear out the faint flush on her cheeks.
She then mused to herself, thinking thoughts that were long hidden and
firmly denied from others, as well as from herself,
/Yes, maybe I'll have to take your word for it... roosterhead./
**OWARI**