Playstation
Problems
Gide Thomas
Disclaimer: I don't own FF9. Seriously. I mean, I don't even own a copy of the game! And the playstation? I don't own one too. This is probably why the events are messed up. Please do not "shove" this fact to my face. And now I'm talking like the PS… Oh dear.
Entry no. 001
It was supposed to be easy; all you had to do was pick some random "lame-assed" child no one really cares about, bring her into a Final Fantasy world and get admired by your Playstation peers.
Nobody tells you about what might happen to the kid once she gets there. I mean, how was I supposed to know that the kid had cancer? She died while moving through dimensions.
It sucks to be a Playstation.
So now I'm "stuck" inside the kid's body. I do not know how I got into this mess; all I know is: the kid has my playstation abilities. And the only way to get them back is by finishing the Final Fantasy game.
I think the Higher Ups are displeased with me. I believe it is because I am not taking life seriously. Perhaps this is their way of saying "get a life." Or be serious about it anyway.
I managed to convince the monkey and his friends that I was needed in their journey. Having a ten year old body did not help in the slightest. I should have chosen someone older.
We managed to travel through the Evil Forest and the Ice Cavern "no problem." Except for the sleeping part. That was scary. I couldn't even control my own body.
By the time we had arrived in Dali, the kid, Jill, had finally decided on my weapon: a double-headed axe. Does she even know how foolish that was? I mean, how is a ten year old going to carry a double-headed axe?
Signed,
Jackie (my human name)
PS: I am writing this journal while waiting for breakfast. The girl by the counter said it would help me with my issues. I did not understand her.
PPS: I must take a bath soon. These humans stink. I miss my playstation days. They were much simpler.
Entry no. 002
The axe is very heavy. I called it Ben. Short for bent. Because I feel that my back will be in that position until the end of this journey.
Jill is still thinking about my unique ability. I hope it is not as strenuous as the axe.
I do not understand human humor.
I fear that I must go to the washroom. I have to let out some bodily fluids. Excuse me.
Signed,
Jackie
Entry no. 002 (continued)
I fear that there is no washroom in this damn airship. I had to stop the fluids from coming while the monkey steered the airship hysterically.
I did not participate during the short battle between the Enemy and the PCs (playable characters). The monkey insisted on it. I did not complain. Did I mention that the axe is very heavy?
I hate Jill.
I believe we are being chased by an Enemy fiend with a ridiculously large hat. The small AI managed to get him "off our tail." I think the monkey almost fell. Or was it the child who is not a child? I am not sure. Things happened so fast.
We are nearing Lindblum.
Signed,
Jackie
PS: The AI (Vivi was it? Such odd names these PCs possess) was kind to me. But he talks "funny" sometimes. Perhaps a magical error in his creation?
PPS: I keep switching into past and present tense. Is this a magical error as well? Or electric? I am not sure. Maybe it is because I am supposed to be programmed to act as a child. Was that an error as well? My head aches. I do not understand at all.
Entry no. 003
The one who governs Lindblum is oglop-shaped. Or is it an ooglump? I am not sure. I did not really pay attention. This is not uncommon behavior; my playstation-in-training days were spent on hibernate mode.
We ate when we got there. People kept giving me strange looks. Someone asked the monkey if I was his child. As if that is possible.
I am tired. The ride was bumpy. I did not get any sleep.
Jackie
PS: I think Jill has already decided on my powers.
The last Entry!!!
I woke up this morning screaming. The monkey told me I had been doing this for three hours before I managed to stop. They could not do anything to help me.
I think it was my powers coming into effect.
I hate this world.
I wish to die. This is why I am participating in the Festival of the Hunt.
I will now leave this on the trash bin. I do not think I have the nerve to burn it even though my human side insists on it. For dramatics, it says.
Signed,
Jackie the Suicidal
A/N: I'm really sorry if this is short. I think it's because after the Hunt, I barely remember anything. Plus, I didn't actually finish the game. The reason being: 1) I don't own the game or a PS. 2) I only know about the different FF worlds because I watched my cousin play them. I think I was eight when he played FF9. 3) When I finally managed to play the game for a couple of days, the second CD wouldn't work. Curse the Philippines and its love for pirated stuff.
I know the PS voice changes. Sometimes it talkes like a child, sometimes a robot who hasn't grasped the idea of communication yet. This is because the Playstation has a machine side and a human side. Right now, the machine side is winning but, it does slip and a bit of its humanity appears.
Inspired by Flipped Up Reality (written by Tabansi232. Great story) and Elder Brother (by Tamora Pierce). Thank you.