The moonlight shines upon Emma as she stands on the balcony of the venue. The moonlight catching on every curve and contour of her pale face and seeming to make her blonde hair nearly glow. She looked ethereal, mystical as she stood out against the dark background of the chic, modern landscape of the venue. Harsh and yellow colored lights carried on behind her but she stood alone like a single bright and burning star in a dark, solitary sky.
Behind her she could hear the laughter of her guests, no doubt having a great time drinking, dancing, full of glee- things that she should be doing herself. Tonight was debut night of Emma's first show as a playwright and this was the after party. She had spent months and months preparing for this night and it all paid off. Her show was a hit and everyone thought so, it even caught the attention of those who produced on Broadway which was what she had been working towards her whole career, hadn't she? Wasn't that what this was all for? After years of sacrificing relationships, friends, and even herself at times it all was to pave a path to Broadway. Yet, as close as that possibility was to Emma, it suddenly filled her with dread.
Emma shook her head as she remained on the balcony staring outward towards the sparkling city lights. Boston was alive with all the excitement of a Friday night, the energy from the city seemed to surround her and left her skin feeling abuzzed. A cold, harsh breeze blew against her causing her to cover her arms instinctively and grip the wine glass in her hand tighter. She shivered but not willing to go in just yet endures the chill of the crisp city air. Emma sighs into her glass as she could practically taste the electricity upon her tongue.
"Emma? What are you doing out here all alone?" She turns to face the voice, plastering on a fake smile, though soon realizing there's no need to.
Emma in her youth was known for her abrasive nature, cursing, running away, even getting in trouble with the law from time to time. She was discarded as the consequence of her parents mistake, a orphan who meant nothing to no one and never thought she ever would. That was until she met Ruby. Thrown together at one of their shared group homes they quickly became inseparable, clinging to each other like the way that children do. They soon aged out of the system together and learned to navigate living in a world that never saw them before. As Emma grew older she learned how to adapt to this world which required plastering on fake smiles and burying that old rage deep inside herself. Having her best friend beside her is what made it all bearable.
Emma looks at her best friend, a fake smile still painted on her lips though neither mention it. "Oh, nothing really." She takes a few steps towards her but is still far enough from the glass to be remain unseen by most of the party. "Just thinking, I guess."
She brings the wine glass to her lips once more, letting the red liquid flow over her chapped lips as she closes her eyes in enjoyment.
Ruby arches her brow and opens her mouth to speak before promptly closing it. She wants to press on but knowing Emma the harder you try to pry her open to talk about things she doesn't want to, the harder she will keep shut. So she sighs and resigns to let it go for now, "Well, come in and think at least, it's freezing out here." She grabs Emma's wrist, pulling her closer to the sliding glass door. "Plus everyone is waiting inside to congratulate you, including your girlfriend."
Emma glares at the woman, "Ruby. I told you Lily and I broke up two weeks ago, we are not together anymore." She says sounding more tired than irritated and the hard look fading away like the breeze in the night.
Emma and Lily had been together for years, meeting in one of the group homes in Emma's past but always having a off and on type of relationship. In one moment they were like fire and coal, feeding off of each other's energy, full of passion and in next they were complete opposites, fire and ice, tormenting each other and leading to each other's ruin. Yes, what they had between each other was something akin to love but twice as toxic. Infatuation.
Ruby huffs, rolling her eyes, her hand still gripped on Emma's arm, "Yeah well she showed up tonight and has been eyeing you ever since the show. So if you two are not together anymore she may not know it."
She doubts that Lily didn't understand the meaning of her message as she stood inside her apartment and said that they were over. They had broken up many times before but this time it was different. No longer was it done out of rage or in a fit of turmoil but instead had a note of finality as Emma softly murmured the words. It felt like the closing of curtains on stage, the final act had been completed and there was nothing else but the end. It was time to say goodbye to her ghosts.
Lily had said nothing but stared at her with red rimmed eyes and a look of seething anger. It took a lot for her to cry, more for Emma, and she understood how much it might have hurt her to hear those words. Yet despite as easy as it would have been to take them back and fall into their poisonous cycle once again, Emma's eyes softened slightly but her look of determination remained the same and this caused Lily to full on collapse, breaking into a unrestrained sob. She sat on the hardwood floor, Lily's head laying on her lap, as she stroked her hair and whispered kind things in her ears. When it was over and the tears on her cheeks had dried Emma lifted her onto the couch and kissed her lips for the final time. They would continue to be in each other's life's she knew, for life had an affinity for bringing them together, just differently. They would mean different things to each other now and she wondered just what those things would be.
Emma chuckles at the woman's comment but says nothing as she finishes off the last of her wine, letting the red liquid flow over her lips before following Ruby back into the venue.
It's remarkable really that at the age of twenty, Emma's play had been chosen from a competition to be performed at her community college and won. Ruby had to convince her to do so, threatening to submit it on her behalf if Emma failed to; and here they were many months later standing together under the harsh yellow lights at her after party that would be the first of many in her undoubtedly successful career.
"Emma." An arm shakes around her, her fingers dancing over her abdomen. "I've been looking for you all night." Lily practically purrs into her ear and Emma fights the feeling to instantly flinch. "I wanted to congratulate you on the show, it was such a huge success and I heard there were some scouts in the audience tonight. You are sure to get a show on Broadway." Lily smiles sweetly. Too sweetly, Emma thinks. Like syrup, thick and sugar filled, the kind that gives you cavities.
Emma smiles nervously, "Thanks, Lily," she says as she untangles the other woman's arms from around her neck. "I really appreciate your support but," Emma nudges her back to look at her sternly, her eyes meeting chocolate brown ones and holding the look, "we are still not getting back together." She says as her face settles into a hard look to prove the finality of her words.
Lily rolls her eyes and waves a hand at her, like a person dismissing a ridiculous claim, "Emma, please. Stop with this 'we broke up' story, we haven't broken up. We've just-we're just taking a break is all." And suddenly Lily looks like she did when Emma first met her. Full of false confidence to hide the insecurity that she can hear in her voice. She knows that Lily doesn't really believe the words that she is saying but she's never been good at letting go, and to be honest, neither has she. The look is there and gone in a mere second but a sort of understanding crosses Emma's face and she softens.
"Excuse me." A voice interrupts and both women stop, "But are you Emma Swan?" Emma turns to face the voice and is surprised to see an old woman. The woman must be in her eighties perhaps, with wrinkles and crow's feet, her hair a combination of peppered grey and white. She has an olive complexion and a scar above her upper lip. Yet despite her age the woman's eyes seemed have remained enchanting, capturing a fire Emma assumes she has had her whole life. Her brown eyes which burned like ambers seemed to demand a sort of attention, issuing a challenge and she was helpless to look away.
"I- l'm Emma Swan."
The older woman looks at her with absolute happiness, her eyes shining up at Emma, sparkling like no one and nothing else matters. She's looking at her like the way a couple looks when they reunite after years apart, with a sort of familiarity and tenderness though she is sure they have never met before. Her lips are curved in a hopeful smile and her hands are pressed together, like a prayer. Something small moves in her and for a moment she thinks that it was fate that might have brought her here.
That's ridiculous. She thinking suddenly. She's too old to believe in fate but yet she falters at an explanation for why the woman's eyes have captured her so. Why they seem to hold some untold history that Emma is intrigued enough to uncover.
Emma is the first to break the stare, her eyes looking away before snapping back, capturing the brown ones, "Were you apart of the audience?" she asks, figuring she must have been a spectator, why else would she be at the after party, "Did you enjoy the show?"
The woman's eyes somehow shine brighter and her smile bigger as she replies,"Oh yes. I thought it was lovely. Especially the relationship between the women finding their long lost son." She lays her hand gently on Emma's arm and instantly she could feel the warmth of familiarity. As though she's touched her thousands of times before, no more significant than it is to breathe and a wave of comfort flows through her, "It really touched me."
The woman is looking at her with tenderness again and Emma wants nothing else but to capture that look and wrap herself in it.
"Thanks, that means a lot. The story means a lot to me too."
Lily noticing Emma's reaction interrupts the conversation, putting a hand possessively around her waist, pulling her tight against her, "And who are you?" She snaps, her words leaving her lips like venom.
Emma looks at Lily then back at the other woman, bright green eyes catching sight of deep, brown ones. The woman studies them carefully for a moment, watching her eyes follow their movements and her hand ball into a fist the moment Lily gripped her hip. Lily stares with seething jealousy as her eyes meet the other woman's, a threat lying behind them. The woman stares back and Emma's body goes cold. The woman is staring back with such intensity, with such fire behind her eyes that seem to read 'I dare you'. She calls Lily on her bluff as the grip on Emma's hip loosens sightly allowing her to remove herself from her grasp. "Don't." Emma says earning a look of betrayal from Lily but a small smile from the older woman who doesn't seem to mind the look of hatred coming from the other woman.
The older woman makes no other effort to acknowledge Lily's presence or even nod that she heard her. Perhaps she didn't. Emma thinks to herself. Instead the woman is now focused intently on Emma, her brown eyes glued to the bright green ones before her. Her hand ever stubbornly on woman's arm which was now rubbing small circles with her thumb.
Emma takes a breath as the air seems to be becoming thick with the tension emanating from them both. It's enough to still the movements and laughter of everyone in the room whose eyes are now fiercely glued to the trio.
She could feel the hot stares of those around her, baring into her back and making her neck red. Yet despite all the sudden attention she could not bring herself to care as she stands face to face with the older woman, her eyes darting across the woman's face looking for a sign. A sign of what? Emma wasn't sure.
"Who are you?" Emma asks and she sees the woman's smile falter a bit, a look of hurt crossing the woman's face if only for a split second before smiling once more. Emma recognizes it, herself being a veteran at concealing emotions and hiding pain, a skill she adopted from her past foster homes.
The old woman says nothing but responds only by grabbing Emma's hands suddenly and bringing them close to her chest. "Come back to me." The woman whispers, her eyes now threatening to spill and her voice laced with heartbreaking emotion, "Come back to me." She repeats, her wavering voice is small and soft as if whispering to herself or saying a prayer.
They stay like this a moment longer before the older woman still holding Emma's hands, flips them over and leaving in the younger woman's palm a locket. "Goodbye Miss Swan." She says before tearing her eyes away from Emma and walking out the door.
Emma stands there with her mouth agape and her legs firmly cemented to the floor. Unsure if what happened was real or apart of some sort of feverish dream, Emma is tempted to pinch herself or at the very least submerge herself in a bucket of water. She rubs her eyes and notices that her hand comes away wet. Am I crying? Ruby is the first to approach. She walks carefully towards the blonde, not wanting to send her running as she often does when she doesn't understand, grabbing her arm lightly and whispering low, "Emma, who was that woman?"
"I don't know." Emma says, flipping over the locket in her hand. The locket is beautiful, adorned with the cameo of a white swan surrounded by a base of gold. It was exquisite and undoubtedly expensive. She opens the locket but finds nothing. Why would she give this to me?
"Did you know her?" Ruby ventures and Emma says nothing for a moment before looking back up at the door, a million questions burning her tongue, "I've never seen her a day in my life."
Emma wears the locket everyday since then, unable to rid herself of it but not willing to give it away. It serves as a memory of the night her life changed forever and in more ways than one. She is now a long way from her first debut show in Boston eight years ago. Since her debut as a playwright she has become a star on Broadway, each of her shows becoming the new sensational hit. She has her own apartment, a job that she loves with all the freedom she desires, her best friend at her side, and living in a city of dreams. She had everything she could ever ask for yet as complete as her life may have seemed, Emma felt as though she was missing something, she just did not know what that something was.
"Are you sure you want to do this Emma?" Ruby says as she packs an array of discs into a moving box, "I mean moving away from Broadway, from New York, from me for Christ's sake. Are you sure you don't need to see a shrink or just get laid?"
Emma had to coax in brunette into helping her pack up her belongings, bribing the woman with promises of pizza and wine when the day was over. Ruby agreed to help, reluctantly, but made no promises about condoning the move. As a result Emma must bear with her best friend's sassy and snarky comments until the move is over but it was a small price to price to pay.
She had to admit that these last eight years treated her well, better than she ever expected. Yet here she is packing up most of her belongings to be put in storage to be able to drive across the country. Drive where? She didn't know yet, all she craves is to get out of this city and drive far away. She knows she should be grateful for the life she has now, grateful for the safety of it all which she would have clung to so tightly in her distant childhood. Yet she could not stop the feeling that was burrowing itself inside of her, like a seed planted long ago which is only now starting to blossom. She wasn't sick of life, she was just sick of the life she was living. Emma knew the difference.
Emma shoots Ruby a hard look. Her green eyes piercing the other woman's, demanding them to drop the subject. Ruby, however, being as stubborn and bullhead as Emma of course doesn't. "I'm serious Em, it's been what six, seven, eight years since you last had sex?" She says counting on her fingers, "You might as well have become a nun if you were never going to get laid again."
She snorts as she continues to pack up more of her things, currently haphazardly throwing her clothes into her suitcase. "Ha ha, very funny."
Sure it's been that long since she has had a relationship but sex well she's had several one night stands since then. There was that random girl from the after party that she nearly pounced on, wanting to distract herself from everyone and everything. Then that sweet blonde who seemed so shy and reserved but nearly ate her alive in the bedroom, Emma still has her number saved to her phone just in was that man she met that the bar one night who she nearly drunkenly slept with but didn't so I guess he doesn't count and maybe her best friend was right, it had been a while, but she was not about to cave and admit that she was right.
"I'm serious." Ruby stops packing the woman's things, "You haven't dated anyone since Lily and that's been at least eight years ago and god knows how long before you broke up that you two had sex."
"Why are we talking about my sex life again?" Emma says, her lips set in a fine line. "It hasn't been that long and besides I just want some time is all, I need to get away. Get some fresh air and clear my head."
Ruby laughs as she gestures to the dozen or so boxes scattered on the floor, "When people want 'fresh air' they gets a hobby like camping or hiking or yoga even, not this."
Ruby stares down at her, her arms glued to her hips in a power stance that demands answers. "So why all of this?" She is looking down at her and Emma is trying hard to pretend that she doesn't notice the cold hardness coming from her best friend.
Emma breaks away from the woman's stubborn gaze to look down at her now fidgeting hands, "I don't know how to explain it Ruby," She says, her voice laced with vulnerability, "I just can't stand to be in this city, living this life anymore. Ever since my debut I've been on Broadway nonstop, been apart of the fast paced life in the city of big lights and even bigger dreams but it just doesn't feel like it's enough. It's like I have everything I could ever ask for my own place, a job that I love with freedom, you."
Emma focuses her gaze more intently at her hardwood floor, willing herself not to cry, "I mean who would have thought that us two orphans would make it to be who we are today? If you would have told lil ole me that she'd have half a dozen of shows on Broadway one day she would have never believed you. But look at us now Ruby, we've made it. We've made it." Emma repeats softly, once to Ruby and once to herself.
"So why are you leaving me again?" Ruby repeats but this time its light, teasing and Emma knows that whatever serious force they had a minute ago has now passed over them.
Emma throws a shirt at her face and Ruby breaks out into a wide smile.
"I'm going to miss you." Ruby says finally, dropping the boxes in her hands to wrap her arms tightly around Emma's neck.
"I'm going to miss you too Rubes, I promise to call you at least once a week-"
"Once a day." Ruby corrects, looking at her sternly. Her eyes are glued Emma's as if ordering a command. "At least once a day or else I will drive up to wherever you end up and drag you back to New York myself."
"Fine." Emma laughs as she envisions the feisty brunette driving like a madman along the highway, causing mayhem and chaos looking for her. "Fine, once a day it is."
They don't speak about it again as they finish packing just before sunset and as promised the two gorge out on pizza and wine, enjoying the company of each other for one last night.
The next morning, amidst the empty pizza boxes and wine bottles Emma whispers her best friend a tearful goodbye before loading up her bug. She knows that she is going to get an earful for not waking her up but she also knows that with one look from her best friend and she wouldn't have the courage to leave at all and so she throws her remaining bags into the backseat before walking over to the drivers side.
"You weren't really going to leave without saying goodbye were you?" Ruby is standing outside the apartment building, her hands on her hips and a harsh look on her face. "Because that would have really been fucked up, Emma."
Emma winces as she looks at her guiltily, her eyes darting everywhere to avoid meeting hers. Ruby rounds the bug, cornering her and Emma winces as she braces for the verbal attack she's going to get for even thinking about leaving without saying a goodbye but nothing comes. She opens her eyes to see her best friend standing in front of her, her eyes wet with emotion. Before Emma can say anything she is being pulled close and engulfed in a tight hug. "I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for out there. You deserve happiness too Emma."
Ruby pulls away, her eyes wet and Emma struggles to stop her tears from falling. "I love you Ruby."
"Ditto." She says and it's the most Ruby thing she could have said in this exact moment and Emma wouldn't have it any other way.
"Go on. Get your early start, God knows where you'll end up by the end of the day." She pushes the blonde toward the car, waving in the mirror as she finally drives off, the open road in front of her along with a million possibilities.
It was late evening when Emma decided to stop driving. She was somewhere in Maine, she was sure but beyond that she was utterly clueless. So when she drove by the Welcome to Storybrooke sign she finally let out an air of relief and nearly cheered as she saw lights from an incoming building as she pulled into the long driveway of the Storybrooke Grand Hotel.
The hotel was beautiful, lined with several pillars in the front and had exquisite architecture. It overlooked a lake which was now covered in a thousand of tiny stars, a reflection of the night sky above. Emma unpacked her yellow bug taking only one or two bags and walked up the steps of the large hotel. From outside the hotel seemed quiet, quaint, but inside Emma was surprised to see the hotel abuzz with so much life.
"Hello there." An old woman says, waving to Emma from the receptionist's desk, "Would you like to check in?"
Emma nods as she puts her bags down and brings out her wallet. "Yes, thank you. Is it always this busy?" She asks and the woman laughs.
"No. There's some sort of conference or convention happening in the next city over so many of those guests are staying here for the time being. Usually it's not this busy." Emma nods in understanding, as she continues to observe the crowd. "And can I get your name, hun." The woman says, handing Emma back her cards.
"Emma. Emma Swan."
"Lovely name, and how long will you be staying with us Miss Swan?"
"Oh." Emma looks down at hands and back up at the woman, "I'm not quite sure yet."
The older woman nods, "I understand and we are happy to have you for as long as you wish to stay. Here's your room key to room 503 and all I need from you is to sign and date your name in our book please." Emma signs her name writing down the date right next to it.
"Thank you and enjoy your stay." The woman says waving her hand over to call for a bellhop. "Henry here will take your luggage to your room." She says pointing to the man beside her.
"Thank you-" Emma stops to read her name, "Eugenia."
"Granny, you can just call me Granny. Everyone here does." The woman says giving Emma a warm smile. And she does, she does look like a Granny with her white hair, kind eyes, and glasses around her neck. Her smile is warm, like huddling up near a fireplace in the winter or the feeling of fresh blankets right out of the dryer. So this is what a grandmother is, or at least what she imagines hers might have been like. Emma smiles back warmly at the woman, thanking her once more before following the man to her room.
The man couldn't be older than his seventies at most, with his dark brown hair and youthful eyes. He had almost a goofy kind of grin, like a person who knew a secret but wasn't willing to share it just yet.
"So how long have you worked here Henry?" Emma asks as they continue to walk down a series of hallways.
"Me?" The man laughs, "I've been here since I've been born. In fact I was born in one of the rooms downstairs." Emma looks at him quizzically. "Both of my parents worked here," He clarifies, "And I grew up running up and down these halls causing all kinds of mischief." The man chuckles. "This place is my home and so I never really felt the need to leave it."
"You must be really knowledgeable about the hotel then huh?" Emma asks as Henry unlocks the door to her room.
"Oh, yes. Any question you have don't be afraid to ask. I live in the Mifflin house just beside the lake, can't miss it. If you need anything do not hesitate to ask."
"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." Emma says as she proceeds to tip the man. "See ya around Henry."
Henry takes the money and begins to walk towards the door before he stops turning back around, facing Emma. She stops unpacking her bags to look back at him. He opens his mouth before snapping it shut, his hands fidgeting in front of him, "When you said that it just reminded me of-" Henry stops, thinking for a moment before continuing, "Its just that- We haven't met before have we?" He asks tentatively, his brows furrowed together.
Emma smiles and her eyes are light as she shakes her head, "No, I don't think so. I'd think I would remember meeting you." She finishes giving the man a wink.
Henry laughs at that, "Of course, goodnight Miss Swan."
"Emma." She corrects. "Please, call me Emma."
"Emma." He says as he bids her goodnight and leaves the room.
Finally alone at last Emma, exhausted from her long drive, can barely muster up enough energy to remove her shoes before crawling in bed. She lays there a moment, letting her body sprawl across the bed, her body practically sinking into the mattress. It does not take long for Emma to relax and soon she is fast asleep.
She wakes the next morning to rays of sunshine beating through the curtains in her room. She stretches in bed, her limbs spread out like a starfish as she lays in that position for a moment before getting up and throwing on her boots from the day before.
Anyone who's ever known Emma Swan knows at least two things about the blonde woman. Number one: she loves her yellow beetle bug, she loves that thing more than life itself and number two do not under any circumstance prevent Emma from getting her morning coffee. It seemed that the hotel did not get that second memo as Emma is kindly rejected from entering the hotel restaurant this early. In hindsight she should have checked the hotel's restaurant hours plus it is barely six a.m. but it's not Emma's fault for waking up so early and still the host could have at least had pity on her and let her have a cup of coffee at least. She nearly had to restrain herself from reaching over and strangling the poor man from keeping her from her day dose of Joe but deciding against it. Instead she decides to wander around the hotel taking advantage of lack of crowd to admire all the hotel has to offer including its public rooms which are full of the hotel and town's rich history.
Emma wanders through most of the rooms, the Apple Room, the Storybrooke Room, but the room that catches her attention what the room entitled Mills Room. Intrigued she walks into the room looking at various small exhibits: a plaque with every play that has ever been performed at the hotel, various pieces of costumes and props, lists of names of various cast and crew members, and a series of other miscellaneous items. Emma is nearly finished with the room as she turns to walk out before a portrait catches her eye.
She stops herself before leaving through the door and instead walks closer towards the image. Hanging on the wall, surrounded by draped velvet and isolated from the rest of the items is a portrait of a young woman and she is beautiful, the most beautiful woman she has ever seen in her life. Emma very nearly stops breathing as she continues to stare at the woman. The woman's dark curls are short and pinned shaping the woman's olive toned face. Her eyes are brown, dark, deep, and rich. A color that she would gladly wrap herself in. The woman is wearing a smile so bright that she wonders what could have caused the woman to smile so much. It is as if the woman herself was the very embodiment of happiness. Yet something else stirs in Emma as she stares at the portrait, like a feeling of familiarity that lives in the recesses of her heart. She is like a woman from a dream she had long ago, full of yellow lights and endless laughter.
She tries to not think about the portrait much longer as she exits the room and makes her way back to the restaurant. She spends the next few days lounging around the hotel, spending time reading, writing and taking walks around the lake. She talks to Ruby who is still begging her to come back to New York, half serious and half joking. Emma laughs it off but as her days start to blend together she actually starts to consider it.
It is at night that is most troubling to Emma, every night she closes her eyes she can see the image of the woman from the photo. Her deep hair, golden skin, and rich eyes. Emma finds herself returning back to the portrait, everyday, staring at the woman some more wondering what made her stick in her mind so much. Looking down below the portrait she finds the nameplate to have the year 1955 engraved but no name. She frowns a bit before a thought strikes her and suddenly Emma is running out of the hotel and down the lake to the Mifflin house.