Crazy
Chapter 1
1969
I'll never forget the way his lips danced against the diaphragm of the microphone. Back then, frequenting the bar to get away from day life was where I eventually settled myself. The Harvelle Roadhouse became a home away from home and I'll always thank that place even now that it is gone. Without the roadhouse, I would have never met him. Never would have seen him or heard him sing. That voice. I'll never forget.
That day wasn't unlike many others. Wake up, work, bar, bed. That was my routine and I was about halfway done with it. Ellen had a lot of local musicians sing at the roadhouse. Some were good and others weren't as graceful. That day Ellen went on about the one that was singing that night to me as she poured my drink.
I glanced at the stage and the man she had mentioned was hooking up the mic with his back to me. I turned interest back to the alcohol in front of me. I sipped on the mug that she had filled and I could feel her eyes still shooting daggers at me.
"He's like my son. Pay some attention to him, he's gonna be big I tell ya!"
I couldn't help but smirk as she waved his way and flashed thumbs up. It quickly vanished as I heard the static of Ellen's stage speakers making my heart jump out of my chest. A few moments later there was a strumming on an acoustic guitar. The melody was catchy; a song that I was very familiar with, especially since it came back after the singer died in a plane crash a few years ago.
Crazy…
I set my mug down and shifted towards the voice that made that sound.
I'm crazy for feeling so lonely
I'm crazy for feeling so blue…
My eyes were fixed on him. He sang with his eyes closed, his perfect feminine lips brushing against the mic as his fingers strummed against the metal strings. I could feel the strange feeling in the middle of my chest as I watched him. His voice was velvet. He seemed to change the atmosphere of the room and there was no mistaking the way his presence filled me up.
My breath clenched. He opened his eyes and the world span and I wanted to blame it on the alcohol. They were a deep emerald green and I was close enough to him to see the details that shimmered. The music had long stopped but I didn't even notice as I saw his lips curl upward into a bashful smile. I felt like an idiot as the applause started subsiding. It didn't quite register that I didn't clap and it was even worse as I started when everyone else had stopped. His eyes locked on to mine. My face burned red and I turned away quickly shoving my hands into my thighs. I quickly took back to my mug and sipped vigorously which probably looked ridiculous just as well.
Ellen watched me with a peculiar eye and I could guess what she was thinking. I just closed my eyes to play it off.
"You okay hun? Want some wat- Dean!"
My stomach dropped. I could even hear his footsteps approach my stool. I wanted to disappear. Just sprout angel wings and fly out of here. There were forearms that lay on the bar next to me followed by the rest of his torso and a smile on his face.
"Hey Ellen. I'll play more, don't worry. I just came by for water. Was I…Did it sound…"
"Perfect" It just slipped out and regrets ran through my head. I inhaled sharply and the mug was still floating in my face causing a small cough attack. He leaned with a genuine child-like smile on his face towards giving me that familiar hitch in my chest. I studied him subtly trying to find any sort of imperfections with him. Nothing really.
"You really think so? Thanks man." He said as he kept his gaze on me. It was so interesting how different his demeanor was. The man was laid back with an edge to him mimicking James Dean. All I could do was nod to keep myself from vomiting senseless jabber that would ultimately embarrass me more. I tried to pry my eyes away but he kept his locked. I did succeed, but only for a moment. In that time, his attention was back on Ellen as she supplied him with a glass of water.
"So that's Dean?" I asked curiously to Ellen as he walked back to his stool on the stage. My fingers played with the mug in front of me. I tried not to look back at him but a glance over my shoulder was enough to fill my appetite of the man.
"Yeah, sure is. Didn't I tell you he was talented? Poor kid though. I'm glad he got to where he is, proud of him -And his brother! Heard that Sam got into Stanford Law…" She raised her eyebrows with smirk as she dried a glass with a towel. "Did I tell you about his father? Up and leavin' them? Not too long ago Dean got a call, John Winchester was killed in a car accident. Drunk as always. John never was the same after Mary died though…I'll just say I'm happy for them…Need another?"
I swashed the remainder in my mug and shook my head. "No it's okay. It would be best if I stop now. I want to enjoy…uhm, Dean." His name traveled over my tongue like a song. Even his name lacked flaw. The rest of the liquid warmed my stomach as I tipped it back. I turned my whole body towards the stage now as he prepared for another set. His flannel shirt fell past the seat of the stool as he sat down, guitar ready. He leaned forward into the mic again and smiled that shy smile a little more confident this time.
"Sorry, I don't believe I introduced myself. I'm Dean Winchester. And this song, uh…I don't think you've heard it yet. But it's from this new band. They're called Led Zeppelin. And I really dig this next song of theirs. Hope I do it justice. This is Ramble On." His voice was deep and strong when he talked. As he sang, it rose back to the velvet smooth pitch that made my body hum.
He sang a few more before the Roadhouse started to clear. Pretty soon, I was the only body still left in the vacant room. I sat in the same place unmoving until Dean started to put his guitar away. He placed it into its case delicately and hinged the latches before getting up to stretch. His arms reached toward the ceiling as he turned on his heel, exposing a small square of skin just above his jeans that shot heat through my slacks. I gulped my primitive desire and put a few bills next to my napkin for Ellen.
Sitting down for a long time unsettle my stomach a little. When I stood, my chest clenched and I felt the gas bubble push its way up my throat. I turned to leave and the belch left my mouth right into Dean's face. He just stood there with a hand waving in front of his face accompanied by another smile. My face was hot like a fever and my jaw clenched tightly. The effect his man was having on me wasn't on a normal level and he was so close.
"Awesome…Excuse me" He reached around me to set down his empty glass and I could smell the cologne on him. I was stone until he stepped back again. He paused a moment and seemed to survey me before speaking. "You okay? Too much to drink?" He chuckled and swatted my shoulder with an open hand. The man was curiously comfortable and it forced my lips to press into an awkward smile. It was ridiculous how he could make me feel like this. It wasn't right. There wasn't any chance that this man could possibly want anything to do with me. He was straight. They all were.
Silence cut between us before I realized he had asked me. "No. I did not consume sufficient amounts of alcohol to become inebriated. I am very sorry –I did not mean too…" I stopped as I saw his face become perplexed. "What?" I simply stated.
"Nothing, you're just… Never mind." He set his hands on his hips and just kept his gaze. He was not afraid of eye contact like most people I came In contact with and I admired that in him. I watched as he blew air, puffing out his cheeks. No matter how thick the atmosphere around us became, I continued to see into those green gems.
"You boys headin' off?" Ellen came in from the back with a towel over her shoulder.
"Yeah, Thanks for letting me play Ellen."
"Dean…please, Thank you for playin'! In fact, you're a lot better than those idjits that think they know a damn think about music!" She smiled and came around the bar.
Dean perked up and shuffled toward her as she wrapped her arms around him. "You been hangin' around Bobby haven't ya?"
"Well…He's been really sweet on me Dean, I might just keep him." She hugged him once more before going to the back again with a handful of glasses. "Take care and be safe!" she called from the back. I assumed they were talking about Bobby Singer who came to the Roadhouse frequently. He really was a sweet man with a likeable personality. Another link to this Dean sent a small pang of jealousy. I wondered how many other people knew him around here.
I lingered for a few moments, wanting to stay a few more in the man's presence. I doubted I would ever see him again if I hadn't seen him before. I was taking my fill before I left. I wasn't expecting him to have any interest in talking to a stranger though. "Hey."
I looked up at him as he approached me again after he retrieved his guitar case. He extended a hand towards me. I was apprehensive about taking it at first. My hands had become riddled with sweat from being so close to him. But I did. I shook his hand and that flashy open-mouth smile greeted me again. "I just wanted to say thanks again, you know…for, liking me." He said as his hand slipped out of mine. He didn't wipe it. Just put it into his pocket. Rather quickly as well.
"You're welcome." I said extremely flattered. "You are very talented Dean. I wouldn't see how anyone couldn't"
"I still need some reassurance once in a while right? Good thing you were here. Not much of a crowd…"
"Really?" I stated absentmindedly. I hadn't even noticed the amount of people in the bar that night. The man had me transfixed to be honest.
"Well, I guess I'll have to bring some good ole' blues to Nebraska." He said coolly with an attractive accent and chuckled. It was so infectious and it made me smile. "Actually, Nebraska's not to different from home…"
"Where is home –If you don't mind my asking?"
"I'm from Lawrence. Kansas. I'm up here…well, to get away for a while. I needed a break from there." His eyes wondered as he shifted his weight onto one of his bowlegs, popping out his hip in a very relaxed manner. I could see that the man had something heavy on his mind. I could assume that what Ellen had told me had much to do with it and it made me too curious for my good. It wasn't my business. "The Roadhouse was a place that my parents would take me when I was a kid and I would come back with my Dad a lot too. Yeah, Ellen's always been a family friend. I called her saying I was in town and here I am, playing on her stage." He pointed the guitar case at the lone microphone still standing there. "Always wanted too. Never knew why I didn't. Guess I was afraid of not being liked." He shot a wink my way and drug his tongue across his bottom lip making me shiver.
There seemed to be many moments where we'd share each other's gaze. The room was quiet and a part of me wanted to know what he was playing at. But another part had a glimpse of hope. He pried away and looked towards where Ellen had left. "Well, I guess I'll be heading out."
I snapped out of my trance and silently agreed with a nod. "Yes, I should be as well." I said finally and turned to leave. I arrived at the door and turned to push my way out with my shoulder as I looked back to see him. He was just behind me on his way out so I held the door for him. There were two cars still parked in front of the building, my beat up 54' Mercury Monterey, and an attractive muscle car that shined in the moonlight. Dean wandered to it's trunk and set his case inside and saw that I was admiring his black beauty.
"67' Impala. Yeah, she's real nice isn't she?" I could hear the pure joy in his voice. It really was a car to be proud about. His hand smoothed over the surface of the hood as he admired it with me. "You should hear her purr!" He said excitedly and reached in with his keys to start the engine. I was taken by surprise at the intriguing roar. I heard his deep laugh as he stepped back to see his car in full.
The night air was biting and I thought about going home and getting warm. I waved to him and strode to my own automobile. I saw him wave back to me when the glint caught me. My heart dropped seeing him with a ring. The metal band around his finger was a beacon of the hope that left me.
"I'll see you round- oh, I didn't get your name!" He called from inside his impala with the window down.
"Castiel! My name is Castiel!" I yelled.
note: (a nice effect to this story is if you play the song while you start to read it. Finish the song and resume reading again where the song stops or just listen to it while you read. -for future reference :))
Songs:
Crazy by Patsy Cline
Ramble On by Led Zeppelin