Chapter one: a love too strong
Hey everyone!
I don't know if you have read my one shot and the question I asked but I really wanted to continue the ideas I had. So here is the complete story. If you want to know what the hell I'm talking about: you can read the One Shot of the same name.
Still, English is not my mother tongue and I don't have a beta (if someone wants to help I'll be glad and might even build a statue with his/her name on it or sacrifice one of Aguirre's sheep even !).
I don't own the characters or the world of Brokeback Mountain (if only…) all of this is from the great Annie Proulx.
This is a male/male relationship with some hard themes, if you don't like it, don't read it.
I have written the Chapter 2 and beginning the Chapter 3. Due to my lack of advance, I'll be posting once a month. This means that the next chapter is due to the 2nde of February. I hope you'll enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Reviews are love!
Jessicalafee.
Ennis got home after a long and tiring day at the ranch. A cow had decided to calve at the worst time. He kissed his two little girls and his wife and washed his hand to help Alma with the dinner.
But he never did because she said something that left him completely bewildered.
"You know someone called Jack ?"
Ennis heart clenched when he heard that name. It couldn't be him, it had been four years and he hadn't got any news of him. The old pain came back in his gut but he tried his best not to show a sign to Alma.
"Depends" he said after a little time.
"You got a postcard from the general delivery."
Ennis wiped his hand faster than he ever did in his life and took a look at the mails they got. He found a postcard of a mountain. "Fuck" he thought, "it's really him".
He read the message from Jack and tried not to think about what it meant. He took the postcard and headed to the mail post he wrote two words as an answer. "You bet."
That night he dreamed of Brokeback and Jack naked in their tent beautiful and perfect like nobody could ever be.
It was the best night he had since a long time and for once he actually was looking forward to something.
He spend the week completely excited and when it was finally the 24th of November; Ennis was so excited he took the day off (something he never did) and spend his time asking himself if Jack had changed, what he wanted, what would happen once they will be with each other and a shitload of questions he didn't have the answer to.
Finally, he heard a pick up stopping in his drive way and recognized that old black/green pick up. He didn't take the time to ask himself how the hell this car had made the whole trip from Texas to Riverton. At the moment all he could think of was:
"He is here".
He run as fast as he dared to and couldn't stop himself from grinning like an idiot. When he saw Jack, who hadn't changed at all, his insides did something he never felt. They did a flip and he could now understand what butterfly in the stomach meant.
All he could say was: "Jack fuckin' Twist!" and he run to meet him, hugging him like they didn't see each other for years.
Well they hadn't. They looked in each other eyes and the perfect smile of Jack helped him to decide on what to do next. He caught him by his shirt and kissed him right on the lips while pushing him against the wall. Jack had been startled and a bit fearful to take another punch.
But now they were kissing like there was no tomorrow and maybe there wouldn't be. They stopped but they couldn't take their hands off each other. Finally, Ennis looked out to see if they had been seen but apparently they weren't. He didn't see Alma closing the door urgently.
He led Jack into the house, introducing him to his wife and prayed that they could be alone together. When, finally they were, they got to the first motel they saw and make love as tenderly as they could after being apart for so long.
They discussed together and decided that they didn't want to be without each other again. Ennis took a week off. Giving a poor excuse to Alma, "we are goin' t'go fishin', be back in a week or'so."
She didn't say a thing so Ennis thought she was okay with it. But even if she had said something, he wouldn't have stop.
They spend an amazing time in the mountains; it was as if they were back on Brokeback again. No worries about people finding out about them. They were as free as one can be.
When they had to part, Ennis was so shocked. He didn't want to suffer again. But it was exactly like the last time Jack left him. Even if this time, he knew they would see each other again. They had made a promise to have another "fishing trip" in 3 months or so.
Ennis came back to his life, and he felt more than ever the bitterness of it. It was kind of funny really how something that people thought was normal, could feel so wrong. On the other hand, how something that people found so bad felt so perfect.
Ennis lost his job. Taking a week off out of the blue was too much for his boss even though he hadn't taken a single day off during the 3 years he had worked for the man.
But he couldn't care less. He found rapidly another job and tried to live like he had during the 4 years Jack was just a beautiful memory. But it would never be like that again. He had tasted the defended fruit another time and he couldn't stop himself but expect the next time they' be together.
The saw each other again, just 3 months after their first "fishing trip". It was in early February and it had nearly been too cold to go camping. Alma had wondered out loud how on hell they wanted to go fishing in lakes that would probably be frozen. She had that sick face every time someone spoke about fish, trip or Jack Twist.
But he didn't care, the cold was nothing. In fact it made everything a lot more interesting because they had to find lots of ways to keep each other heated.
That week they spend their time in the tent, covered with thick covers, fucking. They were buck naked, their limbs tangled as Ennis thrust into Jack.
They spoke too, about their lives, their kids. They both loved them. But neither of them wanted to think about their wives. They just wanted each other.
As always, when they got apart, Ennis felt sick and went to work like a zombie. Alma was more and more horrible. He didn't recognize her anymore. She wouldn't talk to him for a whole week after he got back. She just tried to argue with him about nearly everything.
The dinner, the girls, his job,…
But she would never speak about what was really her problem: Jack.
The third time they saw each other, it was mid June. They got the chance to celebrate their first time. Well, they didn't actually say something but Jack had prepared a nice dinner: as nice as he could anyway. And Ennis had taken him that night, slowly and face to face. Something that hadn't occurred often.
The week had been as delightful as they all had but it was even harder to say goodbye. It had been 5 years since they first saw each other and that fact stung in the air like a ghost. They knew they couldn't change anything.
Well, Jack wanted to but he knew Ennis wasn't up for it. Every time he got caught up in his dreams and would talk to Ennis about it, he always got the same answer:
"Two guys ranchin' together ? Ain't possible. Don't wanna run from them tire irons."
What Ennis didn't say was that he didn't what to see Jack like he saw Earl. Dead in a ditch with blood everywhere.
Jack couldn't say a thing to that. Ennis was right in a way. The fear he had wasn't for nothing. He saw what homophobia could do. But he hoped as much as he could without turning crazy, that one day Ennis would let go of his fears even a little bit, that they could live together.
For know he was just glad to be able to see his lover once in a while. They got home and neither of them could forget the bitterness of it all. Every time they got back to their lives it was worse.
Jack wanted to go out for a while; he couldn't stand fucking L.D Newsome no more. That fucker was always awful but he crossed the line when he tried to take his son from him. Even if he didn't want a baby at first, now he couldn't live without him. And Bobby loved his father, maybe because he was the only one who took good care of him. Lureen was too busy being a perfect businesswoman; L.D Newsome just wanted to take the boy from Jack to make him suffer but didn't really care about said boy's feelings.
Even though Bobby was really young- not even a year old- Jack always thought that he was the one who'd understood him the best. Jack would spend hours in the room with his son sleeping, whispering to him about Ennis, about a cow and calf operation, about all the things he wanted to tell Ennis but really couldn't.
Of course he included Bobby in this dream. He told his son how much Ennis would love him; that they could be a great family together.
It was foolish but he so wanted to be a real family. Even if there would be no woman and no one to take the role of the woman, he knew that a family with Ennis would be a lot better to Bobby than what he had with Lureen. Not that they hated each other, in fact they got along quite well but they were more friends than husband and wife. Lureen wasn't a loving mother at all; she had the baby because she couldn't do otherwise.
Jack walked aimlessly around town just thinking about anything and everything. He tried not to think about Ennis but it was near impossible. He loved the man like he never loved anyone and couldn't spend even a second not thinking about his man.
He thought about their time on Brokeback, their first night together and of course the second: the perfect time when his feelings really showed. He couldn't forget the feelings of Ennis lips on his, Ennis lying on the cold floor of the tent and him on top of him, the look in his eyes lost and wanting something that Jack wanted so bad to give him.
He thought about their last week together, their "celebration"; how Ennis had been tender and loving. He never had said he loved him but Jack had sensed it, not for the first time. These moments were precious to him. Ennis wasn't good to let his feelings show but he got to do it more and more around Jack.
Jack finally got home and didn't care about the nasty look L.D Newsome gave him. He could try to glare him to death for all he cared. Jack hurried into Bobby's room and his son was here, sleeping peacefully. Jack smiled and stayed here, murmuring quiet nothings. He spent an hour here and then went to bed. Lureen watched him an eyebrow crooked.
"Sure as hell spend a lot of time in here."
"Hmm" was all he answered. The look on her face said that she wanted to fight about something and he was dead tired.
"You could have been a little nicer to daddy, you know. He just wanted to help."
"Yeah ? takin' my boy fer a week is helpin' me ? The hell ?"
"It's just so you could focus on your work more ! Bobby won't bring money and he sure eats a lot of it !"
She didn't sound like a mother at all to Jack. Even if his own family had been really far from perfect, at least his mother was always loving towards him.
"Is it all that matter to you ? Money ? I don't want to let my boy with your father, I don't want to have a son who would think that money make the world !" and he thought in his head : I don't want my little baby near that bastard.
"Well, it does."
Jack didn't answer and just closed his eyes signaling that the topic was closed. Lureen sighted and went to sleep too.
Jack was working, it wasn't a good day for him but he was looking forward to the end of the day. In less than a week, he would be with Ennis. Right now though he just wanted to stop the machine he was trying to sell and get back to the ground to give fucking Newsome a piece of his mind. He could see Bobby with the man, crying.
He tried to stop looking at his boy who was extending his arms to him. He had to concentrate, he knew it but it was hard. He wanted to stop the machine he was maneuvering, get his boy and go away. But he couldn't, he shrugged and looked one last time at Bobby. He caught L.D's eyes and saw him smirk at the hurt face Jack had.
"Son of a bitch" he thought, "You makin' ma boy cry just to get at'me, ain't you ?"
He glared and L.D smirk got wider, he didn't have the time to ask himself why because he hit a tree full force and his right leg got crushed. Jack could feel the pain and tried to stay conscious, seeing his boy crying even more and L.D smirk turning into a hateful grimace.
"Well, I'm going to have a hard time explaining that to Ennis." He thought before blacking out.
It was not a good day for Ennis Del Mar. He had fought with Alma because she worked on Saturday and he had to take care of the girls alone. He loved his girls but he couldn't cook to save his life and he didn't want to intend on those of Junior and Francine.
He sighted and not for the first time, he thought he wanted to go back when life wasn't this hard, when all he had to worry about was wolves eating one of the sheep.
Alma got home at 3 but he didn't say anything. The girls were sleeping peacefully for two hours now and he didn't want to get into a fight with Alma and wake them up.
Suddenly, the phone started ringing. They had it installed because Alma couldn't stop whining about the fact that, now they lived in an apartment they had to have a phone like everybody else. Ennis really didn't want to but it seemed useful if his boss wanted to call him for an emergency so he let it pass.
He looked at Alma, seeing that she didn't want to answer- it was probably for him because the only one to call them was his boss. He got up sighting and cursing the engine. He answered, frowning when he heard a woman voice.
"I'm I at Ennis Del Mar's house ? " she said.
He only grunted as an answer.
"I wanted to let you know that Jack can't come to your fishing trip next week."
"Who're you ? And why can't he tell that himself ? "
He was angry to say the least. Did Jack just wanted to get rid of him ? Make his girlfriend call for him to let Ennis know that it was over ?
"I'm Lureen, Jack's wife."
That didn't even cross his mind. Of course, it would be his wife. Did she knew ? Did she did something to Jack ? Ennis tried not to panic but that was hard.
"'lo Ma'm… Where is Jack ?"
He just wanted to make sure that he was alright and also know why the hell she'd call him.
She snorted on the phone surely not liking his rudeness but he couldn't care less.
"He had an accident. His in the hospital, that's why he can't come."
Ennis didn't answer, he was completely frozen. Jack was in the hospital, maybe in a horrible state. He began to shake; images of Jack dead in a ditch came to his mind. But if he was in a hospital, that means he wasn't dead, his mind reasoned.
"You still there ?" Ennis jumped.
"Yeah…"
He didn't know what to do right now. He closed his eyes and decided that he had to know how he was, had to see him.
"Can ya gimme the address of where he is ?"
She did so; she didn't ask how or why he would do a 16 hours trip just for some fishing buddy. If she had asked, he wouldn't have answered anyway.
As soon as he had the whole address, he hung up, barely hearing her goodbyes.
Alma looked at him as he hurried to take his coat and his hat, seeing him like that she knew about whom this commotion was.
"You goin' anywhere ?"
"Yeah."
He didn't want to elaborate further because saying it would make it too real.
"It's about that Jack Twist, ain't it ?"
She looked disgusted but he didn't have time for that. He merely nodded and went out. Alma didn't move but it was clear to her. She just lost her man- was he even her's in the first place; another man just took him from her. And she couldn't do anything about it.