Things One Learns in a Year When Living in Stark Tower.
1. Beware of anything electronic (seriously, anything).
Steve is still not used to the 21st century with all its new technology.
There are touch screen cell phones that are too small for his fingers so can't text like Tony taught him too. There are huge flat screen televisions connect to their Blu-ray players and their 7 speaker sound systems all of which have separate remotes with tiny little buttons that are impossible to read. There's the internet with Facebook and Twitter and whatnot. People are constantly talking but saying nothing at the same time. People claim to have over a thousand friends at yet they seem more alone than they did during his time. It was all too confusing.
To make things even more confusing Steve is living in Stark Tower, the most technologically advanced building in the world, which current houses a certain genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist, his science bro (as Clint likes to call Bruce), a god of thunder, an archer, and deadly assassin. It seems as if the Tower was built to include every possible piece of technology that would make Steve's (and Thor's) life more difficult. He also had Tony "upgrading" anything he could get his hands on when he was bored, which was often.
Today Steve is sitting on the balcony, sketching the New York City skyline. The Tower is quiet behind him with Thor on a date with Jane and Clint and Natasha on a mission for Fury. Only Tony and Bruce are left but they are both in their respective labs doing some very sciency and important things according to Tony. Steve moves from his spot on the edge of the balcony to sit down on one of the seats. It was a seemingly simple reclining lawn chair, but once Steve relaxed into the seat he heard a voice.
"My, aren't you attractive. Your body is exquisite."
"What was that? Who's there? Jarvis who is that?" says the Captain while leaping from the chair onto the balcony.
"Now calm down, I just wanted to tell you that you have an extremely firm behind. It's quite nice."
"It seems that Mr. Stark thought it would be appropriate to give the chair sentience." says Jarvis in an amused tone to an increasingly bewildered Steve.
"The chair is sentient." says Steve in a voice of disbelief. "A sentient chair is verbally molesting me. Why is a sentient chair verbally molesting me?"
"I do not know, Mr. Rogers. Perhaps you should ask Mr. Stark."
"I'm not really sure that I want to know the answer..."