Summary: Peeta and Katniss had one night together before parting ways after the rebellion, Peeta going to the capitol to get better and Katniss being banished to 12. What happens when she discovers she is pregnant and the baby is obviously Peetas. To make things much worse Gale comes back to 12 instead of taking the fancy job in 2 having every intentions of being there for the baby and Katniss. Will Peeta and Katniss be able to work for their problems, rebuild their relationship and prepare for their baby, all the while dealing with Gale?

White-Winged Dove

Chapter 1

Surviving

I take in my hideous appearance as I stare into the glass of the full length mirror, that settles behind the door in out bathroom. The prodding of my large stomach is enough to make me feel bad about myself and want nothing more than to have this baby and regain the flatness my stomach once had. The size was only going to get worse as the pregnancy progressed and I was only going to get more and more emotional as time passed, more emotional than any other pregnant woman out there because one I never wanted this in my entire life, children were not part of my life and the fact that I fucked up and allowed myself to become vulnerable and exposed to him goes to show how truly weak I am when it comes to him. I don't know how it happened it just did and now I'm paying the price. It has been six months since we were together, The spur of the moment that was what I was going to call our meeting that night after the trial. Why did I let it happen and why was he gentle and loving that night, holding and kissing me just right, making me feel like the boy with the bread was in there and that he still loved me, despite everything we have been through. I never got to say goodbye to him after that night because when I woke up the next morning his space was cold and empty, tears spilled from my eyes that morning as I got dressed, ate lunch and entered the hovercraft that would take me home. I had been banned to 12 after my trial and there was nothing I could do but go home and live the rest of my life in isolation, it was even worse when I discovered that Peeta would not join us, that he was going to stay in the Capitol and work on his hijacking with Doctor Aurelius. In a way I was glad that he was getting some sort of treatment, maybe when we cross paths with each other again he will be completely cured, no shred of violence in him, maybe answer as to why he made love to me the night before him and I split ways would surface and I would understand.

The baby kicks and I place my hand on my tummy, feeling her stir and move. Fear is the only thing that spreads through my body as I rest my hand against my large baby bump. I wasn't going to be a good mother at all, I couldn't take care of my sister and I failed Rue in the first games when she needed me the most. The worst thing about this whole situation is that Peeta doesn't even know that I'm pregnant, its been six months since the sex and since I have found out and still I've made no attempt in getting ahold of him, partly because I don't know if his condition is the same or he has made progress in the past six months. I didn't want to set him off by making contact and possibly erasing all the hard-work that was accomplished. I'll keep this between Greasy Sae, Haymitch and my lovely piece of shit friend that thought it was a good idea to come back here after everything that he has done. Gale. As much as he has been a big help in making sure I ate to keep the baby strong and growing, he has been all but easy to get along with.

Gale Hawthorne the man who may or may not be responsible for killing my sister. The man who should have taken the job offer District 2 has offered him, but instead he came back to 12, hoping to help with the rebuilding and hoping to rebuild what was broken between the two of us. I'm not stupid or oblivious to the fact that Gale has more than friendship on his mind. The passion and longing that burns in his eyes every time I'm around confirms that he wants me in every which way, but I can't bring myself to forgive him that easily, not after what he did to Prim. My sisters sweet face flashes through my mind and the urge to cry becomes great.

My hand is still perched on my baby bump as I let the tears trickle down my cheeks. I can't go through with having this baby. I'll fail her like I've failed everyone else, not to mention there will be a chance that she will have no father. Gale might be right when he stated that Peeta may never return to 12, never come back for me and the baby. Maybe he is right though; Peeta could stay in the capitol, open up a bakery in the crowded streets, find a new pair of lips to kiss. The tears come down faster as I think of this and the baby kicks at my distress. As much as I hate Gale and everything he stands for, he did care about me enough to come back and try to fix everything that was broken between us, even though I was carrying another mans baby.

The jealous and rage I see in his eyes every time I bring up Peeta or the fact that this baby is his and needs its father, sends shivers down my spine. Gale knows that Peeta and I have had sex and it kills him in every way to know that this baby is not his and will never be his. It kills him to know that my heart belongs to Peeta and not him, its true I fell deeply in love with the boy with the bread. The man who saved me and my family by tossing me the loaf of bread while we were younger, the man who lost his leg for me and was willing to let me kill him in the first games. The man who gave me my first kiss, who first shared a bed with me, chasing my nightmares away, the one I gave my virginity and heart to. Peeta Mellark. The boy with the bread. The boy I missed terribly and the one that I now realize that I need here with me, not Gale, not the man who will add fuel to my fire.

A sharp knock brings me out of my thoughts and I wipe the tears that streamed down my face, taking a step back from the full length mirror I grip the brass doorknob and pull it open, revealing the old woman dressed in an old raggy dress that was possibly from the hob. Greasy Sae shoots me a warm smile and shifts to the side, allowing me to step out of the confinements of the bathroom.

"Just wanted to check on you, girl. " She admits sweetly.

"I'm fine" I lie weakly.

"There is food downstairs if you want it and your friend is here."

I roll my eyes at the fact that Gale was waiting for me downstairs, dealing with his jealous glares towards my baby bump really wasn't apart of my agenda. I brush past Greasy Sae, not wanting to be bothered or be talked to today, her warm smile fades and a look of sympathy cross her old face. I pay no attention to her facial expression as I waddle down the creaky stairs carefully, using the wooden rail to my left as a guide. I hear Grease Sae footsteps as they trail behind me, but I pay no attention as I enter the kitchen and Find Gale sitting at the head of the table, an older issue of a newspaper in front of his face and a coffee clutched in his right hand. As soon as I make my presence known, he sets the paper down on the wooden table top and shoots me a smile.

"Morning Catnip, Sleep well?" He asks kindly.

I shrug, not answer him with words and waddle my way over to the fridge, pulling out whatever I can get. I've had a large craving for bread and mustard these past couple of days and since I've basically been denied the bread that I so desperately wanted I've settled for dipping pickles into mustard and eating it. I fish out the jar from the cool fridge and set it down on the table, then dig through the contents, hopelessly trying to find the pickles. There at the very back of the fridge and relief fills my body as I pull the jar out and set it next to the mustard jar.

"Are you feeling okay today?" Gale asks, desperate for at least the smallest bit of conversation.

I shrug again and pop open the lids on both jar, pulling out a slippery pickle and dipping it into the condiment, it taste wonderful as it slides down my throat and settles down into my stomach for the baby to eat. Gale watches as I devour half the jar of pickles and mustard.

"You want to do something today, Catnip?" He questions.

"Like what?"

"Go for a walk, get you exercise. I really need to talk to you." He mutters. "It's really important."

Grease Sae comes around the corner and eyes me "The boy is right, Exercise is good for the baby. I have to get going, girl, little Maya is probably starting to miss me by now" She comes over to where I am standing, putting away the jars, and placing a delicate kiss on my forehead and cheek. I ignore it and watch her hike through the kitchen as fast as an old woman can. She mutters something I don't catch in Gale's ear, causing him to nod his head multiple times, something tells me Gale is going to be sticking around today like he is every single day. I hear the front door shut, indicating Grease Sae has left and it's just Gale and I in the kitchen. He bites his lip and cups his hands out in front on him, staring down at his index and thumb, his eyes then flicker up into mine.

"The rebuilding is going well, slow but well." He reveals.

"Good" I mutter and slide into a side chair.

"Look, Catnip I know you don't want to deal with me right now and those pregnancy hormones has you all over the place , but you got to realize that I'm here for you and so is the old woman and your drunk ass mentor. You have people, Catnip and you have to accept that"

I have everyone except the person I want the most in this world. Do I love Peeta? That is a question I ask myself over and over, do I love the boy with the bread? Yes, as much as I try to deny it from myself the answer is yes I fell in love with him during the games, during the rebellion, I gave myself to him in every which way and this baby was the result of our love. It hurts that I didn't even get a goodbye, that he took off without waiting for me to wake up in his arms and gaze into his beautiful face. Was it just sex to him? Did he want to see if I'd give it up that easy? I loved Peeta Mellark that much was true, but did he love me in return was a whole different question.

Gale rubs the back of his head "You know he's not your only option, waiting for him; I don't think it will do much good."

I peer hatefully at him "What exactly are you implying?"

"Forget about him, Katniss, He's not coming back to you" Gale says bluntly.

"Easier said then done" I frown, placing my hand on my tummy "This baby needs him."

The words hurt Gale, but he hardly lets it show. He rolls his eyes and lets out a small chuckle which causes me to frown at him and glare daggers at him. He scraps his chair against the wooden floor and stands, pacing back and forth with his hands tucked behind his back. An argument is coming I can feel it and its something I really want to avoid. I don't think the baby can handle any more stress and it seems like that's all Gale brings into my life is stress.

He chuckles without much humor, shaking his head multiple times. He turns and faces me, taking his index finger and pointing to my stomach "That baby is better off without him."

I glare at him hatefully, disbelief filling my body at his bluntness "How fucking dare you, Gale."

"No, no I'm sick and tired of you pining over him, constantly looking over your shoulder to see if he came back to you. He's not coming back when are you going to get that through your thick skull."

I hop up from the chair and snap at him "It's only been six months, Gale, and you don't know him! He was beaten, tortured, they took his mind and destroyed it, but you know what that night we had, that passionate night when we conceived this baby was the best night of my entire life and it proves to me that he still loves me deep down and that he is fighting to get back to me."

My words hurt him but he don't back down "I'm not going to sit here and clash with you over this. I want you to know that I'm here for you and that baby, no matter what. I gave that military job up, I came back to this shit hole. He didn't! I love you and he doesn't! I want you, I need you and I love you, Katniss. The baby doesn't need a goddamn fucking mental case for a father, it can have me, you can have me! Neither one of you need Peeta. He is nothing, look what he did to you Katniss. He got you pregnant and he's not even here to take care of you."

"He doesn't know" I screech. "He doesn't know he got me pregnant."

"Why haven't you called him then. Why haven't you called that crack-case and told him about the baby?" He crosses his arms across his chest, his stance is dominate and there is fire in his eyes at the mere thought of Peeta. I'm silent, my gaze is cast down at the floor, focused on a dark dot that stains the wooden planks. He takes advantage of my silence and continues "Exactly you don't want him to find out, your baby and you are safer without that mentally unstable asshole."

Tears are beginning to swell in my eyes as the insults towards Peeta continues to spew from Gale's mouth "Stop" I beg, but he continues on.

"Stop what/ I'm telling you the truth about your knight and shinning armor. You're a fool Katniss for ever giving a damn about him. What ever happen to the girl who said 'it was an act' HUH ! What changed? I know you Katniss you'd never have sex with someone like that, let alone get pregnant. Did he force you to have sex with him? So help me god if he did I'll kill him, I'll go to the Capitol myself and shove a bullet in his brain, maybe that will fix his mind."

I scream, tears are flooding my face "I love him, that's why I had sex with him. I fell in love with him during our games, during the rebellion. I couldn't stop thinking about him the whole time Snow had him locked up. I fell in love with Peeta Mellark and nothing you can say or do will change that."

Gale opens and closes his mouth, clearly lost for words. He stands there with an angry expression on his face and then without warning stomps across the wooden floor. I hear my front door slam shut and once I'm absolutely sure he has left I slide to the floor, curling up into a fetal position and letting the tears fly down my cheeks. the baby feels my stress and starts rounds of kickball with my bladder. I cry and cry until there is no tears left and until the floor gets uncomfortable. It's hard to pick my large body up from the ground but I managed to do it and waddle my way over to the couch where I gently throw myself down on the cushions where I cry some more.

The situation I find myself in is a drastic one. I know Gale loves me and that he wants to be here for the baby and I, but my heart doesn't belong to him, it never has and it never will. He is wrong Peeta Mellark will come back to me, Aurelius will help him get better and he will be in this baby's life. I have hope for us, for our baby and nobody, not even Gale is going to stand in between us.

To be continued...