Disclaimer: They're not mine. Don't sue. The end.

Season: Eight

Pairings: Sam/Jack, slight Sam/Pete

That night, Sam was on autopilot as she went about her normal bedtime routines. She did everything as usual: washed her face, slipped on some PJs, gently pecked Pete on the lips, switched the night stand light off, and snuggled deep into the covers. But Sam knew something was bothering her, and was unprepared to admit to herself what that was.

Carter knew the moment she allowed herself to acknowledge that the statement was disturbing to her; she would have to face the underlying issues. Sam would and had done almost anything to prolong that certain internal discussion. She turned restlessly as his voice kept taunting her. She would find no sleep tonight.

'We wouldn't want to keep your Colonel waiting, now would we?' The words had been said in jest, but still… there was something about them that she just couldn't get out of her head.

The scene from earlier that evening played out in her mind's eye. She was wearing a light blue sundress that complimented her azure orbs, and next to her stood her fiancé, clad in his uniform. The blue fabric on his arm was rough against her waist and she remembered Pete hadn't had any time to change before the gathering; he had come straight from work. Sam noticed he seemed more confident than usual and guessed that could be attributed to his outfit.

There was a beautiful cake and decorations everywhere; Cassie had insisted on them. After all, it was Sam's engagement party. It was fairly warm out; perfect for a backyard barbeque. She was relieved to see that the backyard lawn and landscaping looked nice; that new neighbor boy she had recently hired had done a good job.

Sam was amazed that her backyard could hold so many people. Almost everyone from the SGC was in attendance, and several of Pete's fellow policemen and their families had showed. In fact, the one talking to Pete right now, (Officer…Pandry? Ponly, was it?) had just said something amusing she supposed, because Pete was laughing and had his gaze fixed on hers; silently asking her to pay attention.

She gave a weak chuckle in return. Carter knew she should probably be enjoying every moment of this celebration, but her mind kept wandering to places…and people…that it shouldn't. She heard a few crashes and bangs and then a rather loud curse coming from her kitchen window, which was followed by a ruffled Daniel nearly tripping down the back steps as he hurried to her. He was sporting a rather nasty looking bump on his head.

"Sam!" he breathed when he reached her, but then blushed slightly as he realized he was interrupting the conversation between the policeman and Pete that the Major was stuck in the middle of. He gathered himself and began again, "Excuse me, but Jack is in urgent need of Sam's assistance in the kitchen," he addressed Pete, "You don't mind if I steal her for a few minutes do you?" and then quieter, to me, "He's been trying his hand at cooking again…with beer."

She drew in a sigh, recollecting the last team night he had attempted this. He had almost set the house on fire. The problem with Jack O'Neill, beer, and a stove was that he didn't use all of the alcohol in the food. In fact, a great deal ended up being consumed by him.

Pete's smile was tight and Sam could tell he was embarrassed to be having this exchange in front of his friend. He looked down at her, "Of course not, we wouldn't want to keep your Colonel waiting, now would we?" His tone was light, but his smile didn't reach his cold eyes.

A shiver ran up her spine. She smiled indulgently as he held her gaze a few seconds longer, with meaning. Translation: he was not happy. But, he reluctantly unwound his arm from her and resumed talking with his companion while she went to check on Jack.

When she arrived in the kitchen, she almost gasped. Jack was humming happily by the stove, pouring the alcoholic liquid over a pan containing some kind of O'Neill concoction. The scary part was the pots, pans, and general ingredients that were scattered about her kitchen. "Sir?" she hesitantly asked.

He turned to face her, eyebrows raised, "Carter! Good to see you. What are you doing here? I thought you were out mingling with Paul." She ignored his (intentional?) mistake.

Sam took a step forward, "I thought you could use some help."

His voice turned gruff, "I already told Daniel to bug off. I'm just fine, thank you."

Daniel peaked out from behind the doorway, clearly wary from his last visit, "Jack, I think it would be best if we left now. You've had too much to drink, and we both know you'll regret this in the morning."

Jack viciously spun to face Daniel, his stare piercing, "What does it matter? It'll just be another one to add to the list."

Sam coaxed, "Sir, please. Let me help you with this mess."

Jack concentrated on her, and she could see the slightly glassy look to his brown orbs. "And you, Carter, you are one of my biggest regrets," his words were laced with sadness, "Soon you'll be married to that cop and I…I won't have anyone…"

"O'Neill," Teal'c's strong voice interjected as he entered the kitchen, apparently having caught enough of the Colonel's ramblings to know he needed to be stopped, "We must depart." He placed a firm hand on his comrade's shoulder and literally walked him to the front door.

Daniel kissed her cheek and apologized for Jack. He gave his congratulations and wished her well. Sam now stood in her cluttered kitchen wishing for all the world that Jack could have finished what he'd started to say; hoping that it was what she wanted to hear.

Sam sighed deeply. She wouldn't recognize the butterflies and feelings that rose within her at the thought of him. She had to be the good soldier and deny what she knew she really wanted. It was tearing her apart inside.

'...your Colonel...' What made it worse was that Pete, consciously or subconsciously, had already identified the feelings she harbored for her Commanding Officer. She could feel the jealousy emanate from him at just the mention of O'Neill's name. She knew he couldn't let her go. He'd been hurt too many times before; he needed to believe that she would be the one that would never intentionally break his heart.

'…your Colonel…' Sam felt love for Pete, but understood that it wasn't a passionate one. But he was secure; he openly expressed his emotions for her. She couldn't break it off with him when she didn't even know if Jack felt the same about her. But by the way he'd been talking…she was sure there was something there and she felt she owed it to them to find out for certain. It wasn't fair to Pete to drag him into a marriage when she was positive she didn't love him nearly as much as he did her.

Sam felt fear grip her as she realized the full impact and implications of her thoughts. She was effectively saying that she was going to break her fiancé's heart to pursue a man she didn't even know liked her, let alone wanted a relationship with her. There would be a lot for them to consider if he did, though. This thought excited her; if he did reciprocate her feelings. That was it, she decided. No matter what, tomorrow she had to set things straight. Ending things with Pete would be hard, but it was the right thing to do. She wouldn't trap him in a one-way marriage. If things worked out with Jack, that would be icing on the cake, and she so hoped they did. Sam would gather her courage in the morning, but for tonight, she would finally get some sleep.