Disclaimer: Some of the dialogue is Libba Bray's, some is mine. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who's is who's.

This is just something my friend and I came up with. It's out of order and not consistent, and who knows when I'll update, but I thought it's be a good idea to post it. Enjoy!


Dancing scene, Take 1

Kartik: (looking adoringly at G) Gemma, there is something I need to tell you…

Gemma: (breaks away holding herself)

Kartik: (concerned) Are you all right?

Gemma: (nodding) The cold. Perhaps I should be getting back.

Kartik: But first I need to tell you –

Gemma: There's so much to do.

Kartik: (hurt face, hands blade) Well then, don't forget your gift.

(hands touch, K kisses G)

Gemma: (breaks away) Please don't.

Kartik: (looking wounded) It's because I'm Black, isn't it?

Gemma: (stares)

(both burst out laughing)

Director: CUT!

Kartik: Word, yo.

Dancing scene, Take 2

Kartik: (looking adoringly at G) Gemma, there is something I need to tell you…

Gemma: (breaks away holding herself)

Kartik: (concerned) Are you all right?

Gemma: (nodding) The cold. Perhaps I should be getting back.

Kartik: But first I need to tell you –

Gemma: There's so much to do.

Kartik: (hurt face, hands blade) Well then, don't forget your gift.

(hands touch, K kisses G)

Gemma: (breaks away) Please don't.

Kartik: (looking wounded) It's because I am Indian, isn't it?

Gemma: Of course not, I don't even think of you as Black.

Kartik: (trying to keep a straight face) Well that's good, isn't it, as I'm Indian.

Gemma: (realizes her mistake) Oh!

Director: CUT! Can someone get these kids some help with their lines?

Dancing scene, Take 3

Director: Okay, you two, CLEAR YOUR HEAD of the word 'black'.

Kartik: (getting powder-puffed) Right. Will do.

Gemma: (sipping mineral water) Ditto.

Director: Okay, resume dancing scene and ROLLING!

Kartik: (looking adoringly at G) Gemma, there is something I need to tell you…

Gemma: (breaks away holding herself)

Kartik: (concerned) Are you all right?

Gemma: (nodding) The cold. Perhaps I should be getting back.

Kartik: But first I need to tell you –

Gemma: There's so much to do.

Kartik: (hurt face, hands blade) Well then, don't forget your gift.

(hands touch, K kisses G)

Gemma: (breaks away) Please don't.

Kartik: (looking wounded) It's because I'm Brown, isn't it?

Gemma: (grinning) Yes, Kartik, it's because you are Brown.

Kartik: (exaggerates being offended) You trollop!

Director: (throws script in the air) Alright, let's break for lunch.

Kartik: (to Gemma) At least I got the right race this time.

Gemma: Yeah, I don't see what the problem is. Wanna order sushi?

Gypsy Camp Kiss scene, Take 1

Director: (explaining to G and K) Okay, BigNose is going to grab Gemma's wrist. Gemma, I want you to look panicked and flushed. You are going to kiss Kartik without warning, okay? Just a quick little kiss, but it'll be real cinematic. Kartik, you're going to freeze for a sec, then kiss her back, okay? As soon as he does that, you're gonna break away and look embarrassed, okay Gem?

Gemma: (nodding) Got it.

Director: Kartik?

Kartik: Gotcha.

Director: Okay, let's get this show on the road.

BigNose: (grabs G) How do we know she's yours? She does not seem so willing. Perhaps she will come with me instead.

Gypsies: (laugher and suspicion)

Gemma: (kisses K)

Kartik: (kisses back)

Ann: (pushes G out of the way) MY TURN!

Gemma: (looking incredulous) ANN?

Director: (rips hat off head) Oh, what is this madness?! Get her off the set!

Ann: (protesting) But I thought I'd be the heroic one! Gemma is so clichéd!

Gemma: That's because I'm the heroine, Bradshaw!

Gypsy Camp Kiss scene, Take 2

Director: Ready to try again?

(K and G nod frantically)

Director: Okay, make it believable. And, rolling!

BigNose: (grabs G) How do we know she's yours? She does not seem so willing. Perhaps she will come with me instead.

Gypsies: (laugher and suspicion)

Gemma: (kisses K)

Kartik: (kisses back)

Gemma: (keeps on kissing)

Kartik: (wraps his arms around G)

Gemma: (does the Princess Diaries foot popping thing)

Director: CUT!

(K and G keep sucking face)

Director: Hey! You two! Stop kissing!

(K and G pay no mind)

Director: Someone get the hose…

K Behind the Screen, Take 1

Director: Okay Kartik, you're going to watching Gemma surreptitiously from behind the screen. You're going to announce your presence at first, but curiosity gets the best of you. So just act like you're actually spying on a girl in her room. Comprende?

Kartik: Right. Pretend to spy. Got it.

Director: Now Gemma, you're going to enter your room all shaken up and nervous. Commence undressing and talking to the mirror. You know your lines?

Gemma: Yup.

Director: Good. Kartik, get in position and…rolling!

Gemma: (enters room and starts undressing, obviously shaken)

Kartik: (jumps out from behind dressing screen) OOGADEEBOOGADEEBOO!!!

Gemma: (screams and falls over)

Director: CUT! (smacks K in back of head) What the HELL is the matter with you?

Kartik: (eyes tearing from laughing so hard) You told me to act as if I was actually spying on a girl in her room. Seemed like a pretty good idea at the time.

Director: Idiot! You're a teenage boy! You're supposed to watch her, awestricken, as she takes off her clothes and tests her expressions. You want to watch her, not get CAUGHT!

Kartik: (ponders) I guess you're right.

Director: You're damn right I'm right. I'm your boss. (looks at G, humiliated and upset) And someone get her back into costume!

K Behind the Screen, Take 2

Gemma: (enters room and starts undressing, obviously shaken)

Kartik: (makes to greet her, but stops)

Gemma: (pulls at her corset strings teasingly, bats her eyelashes and shakes her bum in the direction of the screen)

Kartik: (silence, presumed drooling)

Gemma: (sits provocatively on chair, leaning backwards to give K good view of décolletage)

Kartik: (strangled cry) No fair! You don't call cut when she messes things up!

Director: Cut! (Looks K up and down) Jesus boy, go take a cold shower!

K Behind the Screen, Take 3

Gemma: (enters room and starts undressing, obviously shaken)

Kartik: (makes to greet her, but stops)

Gemma: (sits down and tests expressions) Excuse me, I don't believe we've met. I am… (pinches cheeks and growls) Who is it that roams my woods so freely? Speak your name. Speak!

Kartik: I am Ithal!

Director: (fumes) You're useless.

Gemma: (angry) Kartik! You're ruining everything!

Kartik: (brushes her off) That's bollocks, Gem. Anyway, I'm late for my mineral wrap.

Gemma: No fair! I couldn't get an appointment until Thursday!

Haha Kartik's turning into a diva! Or shall I say divo? Don't mind me, I actually think I'm clever.

Riiiiiiight,
LunaEquus

Review! Give me ideas and I shall certainly write them! This can be interactive! Reviewing can be your way of making requests. I'm like the DJ of Spence University's first dance or something. Want to see Ithal breakdancing to guido trance? Or Gemma and Kartik grinding to some Daddy Yankee? Ann bellydancing to Shakira? What the hell am I talking about, that's what I personally would like to know.