Chapter one: For the Family

Picking off right after the end of season 3, because there NEEDED TO BE MORE! :,(

(For anyone not up to date, Cesare has just run Lucrezia's husband Alfonso through with his sword, and after trying to save his life, Lucrezia poisoned Alfonso on his request to put him out of his misery as he lay dying, The season ends with Cesare cleaning the blood from Lucrezia as she lies besides her dead husband)

"You will be naked, clean, and bloodless again… And mine." Silence followed as Cesare wiped the blood from her face and neck, neither of them looking at each other. The hands that had just killed were incredibly gentle, and his presence quieted the thoughts and emotions that had been choking her. Now she just felt numb, both in mind and body.

Eventually he stopped, "come on sis" he said softly, and when she didn't respond scoped her into his arms and carried her out of the room. As he settled them on to a sofa, his arms wrapped around her, Lucrezia finally turned her face towards Cesare, seeking his eyes with hers. She looked lost, and Cesare's fevered gaze softened. He took her hands and kissed them, "forgive me."

Lucrezia's throat clenched as they she stared into his dark eyes.

Yes she'd forgive him. She couldn't hate him. He wasn't Juan. Is it possible to hate the man you love for killing your husband? As if he could read her thoughts, Cesare leaned forward and pressed a slow hard kiss against her lips. When he pulled away one of his hands remained against her cheek. With half his face in shadow Cesare looked both angelic and demonic, dangerous but beautiful, and Lucrezia felt longing as she gazed at him. While her husband lay dead in her bedroom, his corpse still not cold. She shuddered.

In the past Cesare had never intentionally acted to hurt her, he'd been the one friend in a world of intrigue and scheming who protected her. But this time Cesare had placed his ambitions above her happiness. It hurt, she knew Cesare loved her, but did this signify a decrease in his love? Unless Cesare had acted out of jealousy. She searched his face, but it was too serious to easily read.

"Did you kill my husband for the family brother?" her voiced choked a little on the word husband, "or for yourself?"

The shielded look she'd grown to know and hate so much of late came over his handsome face. "He was getting dangerous Lucrezia, our family needs no additional slander at this moment, especially from such a source."

She pulled herself away from him "so for the family, then."

They eyed each other wearily, then Cesare sighed.

"I should go to our father."

"But what will you tell him brother?"

"The truth, I believe" said Cesare with the ghost of a smile. He stood there for a moment, eyes on hers, and his arm twitched slightly towards her. Then he left.

Lucrezia watch her brother stride from the room, and in its emptiness felt the full force of her consciousness reprimanding her for being so easily distracted from the death of her poor, naive husband.

Despite this, or perhaps to hold off conscious a little longer, Lucrezia gravitated to the window, watching as Cesare melted away into the night.

In the following weeks, the scandal of Alfonso's murder raged throughout Rome, and Lucrezia moved back to her mother's house with Giovanni. Her child seemed as happy as ever, and Lucrezia spent most of her time with him in the gardens when the weather permitted it, sometimes joined by her mother.

"So where does this leave me?" Lucrezia asked her several days after her husband's death. She had hoped her mother would offer her advice without prompting, saving her from admitting that she was unsure. But her family rarely seemed to keep her informed of events until they wanted her to do something, still treating her like the child she had ceased to be years ago.

Vannozza gave her daughter a sad smile, "you shan't marry again for some time, that much I suppose."

"Good. I've had quite enough of husbands, I think we can both agree that they don't seem to suit me".

"You know very well that this is not your fault" said Vannozza firmly, "any man should feel blessed to have you for his wife." Lucrezia shook her head, "not a Borgia wife, mother." And she truly was a Borgia these days, having learned the rules of power from the best, and apparently inheriting an enjoyment for it too.

"Have I lost all claim to Naples?"

Vannozza gave her an appraising look. "That depends, may you be with child?" Lucrezia tossed her curls, "I doubt it."

"Well in that case, there is little real claim, at least not through traditional lines," her mother paused to consider for a moment, "you haven't spoken to Cesare about this? He our closest link to the French at present, and the most involved in their designs upon Naples."

Lucrezia looked away not wanting her emotions to be read. She hadn't seen Cesare since he'd left her on the night of Alfonso's murder, and believed he'd been sleeping at the Vatican. A part of her was relieved, and yet, Lucrezia suspected that her complacency stemmed from the knowledge that he was still in Rome, and she could seek him out if she wanted to. Once Cesare was gone from the city, and beyond her reach, she feared she would return to longing for him. She still didn't know if Cesare killed Alfonso as her brother, or as her lover? She wanted to believe it was the later, but was worried her desire clouded her judgment.

Vannozza broke the silence, "I have yet to ask you about the truth of the rumours surrounding Alfonso's death, perhaps because I'm afraid of their truth."

Lucrezia paused, "Cesare claims it was an accident."

"But you don't believe him," inquired her mother softly.

"I.. am not sure. The method, I don't believe Cesare could have desired that.." she aired her suspicious slowly. "But the outcome, it removed my confliction with the French acquisition of Naples, and with any death the clearest indicator of its cause is through determining who it benefits."

Her mother gave her a look caught between admiration and regret, "what a world I have placed you in, my dear child. What a world I've placed all by children in. Cesare goes so far in his service of the family that it makes me fearful, and after a lifetime with you father that's no easy feat," she added. "But his love for you has always been Cesare's finest point. So try not to hate him, my dear. He'd be lost without you, and I'm sure he's getting under your father feet at the Vatican."

"You know I could never hate Cesare," Lucrezia murmured, "but I think he needs me little of late, his love is for power."

"My foolish daughter, he holds you dearer than all else in the world."

Lucrezia gave her mother a dubious look.

Vannozza laughed, "since you were children, and to this day" she insisted, pulling Lucrezia to her. Lucrezia returned the embrace, burying her frown in her mother's gown.

Perhaps Cesare did love her, but it was a love he seemed to fear.