Sherlock Holmes: a Memoir

by John Watson

Foreword

Hello. Thank you for picking up this book. You don't need to buy it, this is just for my benefit. Sherlock was my best friend, see. But my part is later. I went around to five people and did an interview with each of them. What I said is in [brackets]. I have removed nothing. There are only fifteen cuss words. I allowed each person three time to cuss. First is Skylar Hane, a childhood... friend of Sherlock's. Next is Mycroft Holmes, Sherlock's older brother. Then is Molly Hooper and Greg Lestrade, friends of Sherlock. After them is Martha Hudson, Sherlock and my landlady. Finally is me, Sherlock's best friend.

Part 1: Skylar Hane

Chapter 1: Reminiscing Takes Time

[How did you know Sherlock Holmes?]

How do I know him? Where do you want me to start? [When you met, preferably.] When we met? I can do that.

He came for less than a school year. I think I was a junior, him a senior. He came in late September, left in May. How we met was really strange. I mean, REALLY strange. Even for me. Me and both my brothers were wearing the same jacket: a peacoat. We were gonna have a friend of ours take a picture, but we saw him walking by and I had an artistic idea. Make HIM wear MY coat. He was the same height as my brothers, they had the same facial structure. Actually, him and Kyle look so much alike, it's scary. Sorry, "looked". Past tense. I can't quite grasp that yet... *Sigh* sorry. Can I have a second? [Take your time.] Hmm... Okay.

He loved me.

I think I should probably mention that.

Sherlock Holmes. Loved. Skylar Hane.

[How do you know?]

How do I know that?

He kept the jacket, didn't he?

[Wait, that was yours?]

Yep.

[And he kept it from when you took the picture?] No, course not. But when he left to go back to the UK (did I mention that I'm American?), I gave him my coat. It was cold, but I was only wearing the coat out of habit. Sherlock wasn't wearing a jacket. So, being the good... girlfriend, I guess... I told him to take the coat. He tried to deny it, but I threw the coat over his shoulders and made him promise to keep it. Then he...um... kissed me and boarded the plane. And the plane left. And I didn't see him, or the jacket again.

Well, that's not true, I got it back a while ago. I went to check my mail and I found this package there, addressed to me. Inside was the jacket and a letter from DI Lestrade. It said that Sherlock was dead, and in his will was instructions to return it to me. [Return what?] The coat, dumbnut. Anyway, I had thought that he would send it back before he... died... or give it away, or something like that. But he didn't. And he wouldn't do that unless I was special enough to him.

I guess another thing I should say before we dive deeper, it might take some time to get it all out of me. Reminiscing takes time. You have to let it all sink in. Everything. At once. Think of when you make coffee, and you have a filter filled with coffee beans. If you pour all the hot water in at once, it's going to spill over, and it's bad. Really bad. You have to pour little bits at a time. Another good analogy is going into a hot tub. [A hot tub?] Yes, a hot tub.

Chapter 2: The Picture

[So, tell me about when you met him.]

It was either in late October or early November. Somewhere around there. I was hanging around with my friends when my brother, Jason, tapped me on the shoulder and informed me that Kyle, my other brother, was picking us up from school. I nodded and grabbed my coat. He looked at my coat and said 'You're wearing your peacoat?' He gestured at his own peacoat. His was brown, mine black. Complete coincidence.
'You have a problem with that?'

He kinda said 'Just... don't walk beside me.' I now had a new mission: walk beside him. [Mission?] Do YOU have a problem with that? [No. I'm just... admiring your choice of words.] Careful, soldier. [Back to the beginning.] Okay.

Where was I? Oh yeah.

I said goodbye to my friends, and by the time I turned back around, Jason had already left. My friends started talking about Kyle, saying things like 'Oh, I've met him, he's cute!' Crap like that. Then they started following me to go meet up with him and Jason. When we got there, Kyle was walking up to the school and Jason was nowhere in sight. And Kyle was wearing HIS peacoat. A gray one. So, we (my friends and I) walked over, and Jason came around the corner. Someone (I'm not sure who) started giggling, and then all of a sudden everyone burst out laughing. Then, naturally, Alexa, my best friend, asked to take a picture of us three. We stood by each other, and right when she was going to take the picture, there he was. Sherlock Holmes. [Are you okay?] Yeah, why? [You seem...flustered.] And what do you mean by that? [You're blushing.] So what if I am?? [Back to the story.]

I raised my hand to signal Alexa to wait, and she lowered the camera. Then I yelled for Sherlock to come over. We'd never spoken before. I'd seen him in the halls before, but never made contact. He always seemed... closed off. He came over, and I casually told him to wear the coat and stand by my brothers. Then I gave him the coat, and he walked over to them. The resemblance was VERY difficult to miss. They all had the height, cheekbones and posture of someone who you would bow down to. I almost did. That was how I met Sherlock Holmes. By asking him to wear my coat and be in the picture.

Jesus... I didn't realize how embarrassing that was... God, if I could have done that differently, I would have. [Are you sure about that?] Well...no.

Chapter 3: Give Love a Try

[So, you said that he loved you. Can you get us up to there?] I... I think so.
On a side note, that day, before all that happened, I had requested a class change. I got it changed to a more difficult science class, which happened to be the one that Sherlock was in. We started noticing each other more and more. It was strange, like some one *cough cough* ME *cough cough* had planned it all. Well, the class was a coincidence, but everything else wasn't. It didn't take long before we were REALLY good friends.

Alexa, Sherlock and I, man, we were unstoppable. The jocks would step out of OUR way. The bullies left us alone. The teachers didn't even try to make us stop talking. Nothing could split us apart. Well, except for Alexa's boyfriend, Brian. He would come up to us, talk with us a bit, and then Alexa would go off with him, and Sherlock and I would stay and talk some more. God, it was amazing. So much fun. [Blimey, Sherlock had multiple girl friends?] If you mean friends that were girls, then yes. And hey, be nice!

On Alexa's birthday, in April, a month before he had to leave, we went to Rose's. It was the four of us: me, her, Sherlock, Brian. We got there at five. Brian had to leave at eight. Alexa left at nine. Sherlock and I, well, I don't even know when we left. But we left together. He was my ride. When we arrived at my house, he walked me up to my door. [Quite the gentleman.] I told him he didn't have to, but he wouldn't hear of it. My parents were out with Jason at the time. They were looking at colleges. Jason was a senior, if I didn't mention that already.

When we got up to my door, jeez, it was bad. [Why? What happened?] Well, I couldn't get the key to work. First it would be the wrong key, then it would be flipped, then I would turn it the wrong direction. It was terribly embarrassing. But Sherlock stayed, patiently waiting for me to get inside. When I FINALLY got the door open, he grabbed my arm. It wasn't rough, just like a little 'Hang on' thing.

He told me, 'Thank you.'

Naturally curious, I asked what he was thanking me for.

He said, and this part kills me, he said 'For being there for me.' Now, he hadn't said anything about being in trouble or having problems at home or anything. So I was confused. I mean, I was completely befuddled.

'What are you talking about?' I said. And he looked at me with those eyes... I'll bet he's looked at you with those eyes. [What are you talking about?] Are you blushing? Anyway, the eyes. You know, THE eyes. The "I need to talk and you should listen" eyes. I've seen oh so many people give me that look, but it never reaches the eyes. When he did it, it did. [Reach the eyes?] Yeah. So I invited him in. He declined, I insisted, he accepted. We came in and had a cuppa. [That's a British term.] Yeah, I've picked up some terms over time.

We started talking again, and I think that by then it was about midnight. [Jesus.] Yeah. We kept talking for a LONG time. Like, I would make a cuppa, we'd finish our drink, and I'd make a new batch. I think I did that... five times? Six? We finally ran out of tea. Or at least, the good kind. But we kept talking. At some point we got to the topic of love. I don't even remember how. It just sort of came up. And Sherlock, he didn't really understand love.

I tried to explain how no one understands it, and how he should just give love a try. And he... he kinda... uh... heh... sorry. Um... Sherlock uh, he grabbed my hand, and said that he would like to. And he kissed me. [...Huh.] Yeah. God. Sorry. I just, I think of then, and I can't stop smiling. It was just so... perfect.

From then on, I guess you could say we were dating. Sometimes we would hold hands, and sometimes we would kiss, but other than that, it was like we hadn't changed. We still talked all the time. We were still inseparable. [Sounds like you two were perfect.] Not as perfect as you two. [Whatd'ja mean?] I mean, you know, you two. Together. You must have been perfect. Together. [For the record, for EVERYONE to know, I'm NOT gay!] *Laughing* Uh huh, John, whatever floats your boat. [I will kill you later.] That's not nice. [I'll bet it isn't.]

Chapter 4: Tell the Thames I said "Hi"

[Tell me about when Sherlock had to leave.] You son of a bitch. [That was your first time to cuss.] And it was well spent. God, do I really have to talk about it? [If you would be so kind.] Well, I won't. *On a side note, here she got up and left. She came back the next day.*

Sorry about that. God. I really don't want to do this. [Please, Sky.] Don't you dare call me that again. Only three people call me that. Sherlock, Alexa, and Brian. [You're still friends with them?] Dang straight. He and Alexa got married. I was the maid of honour. [Anyways.] Right. Anyways.

May finally came around. We, Sherlock and I, spent as much time together as my parents and his sponsor family would allow. And that was, like, every second. Only half the time were the other two there. Then the week came for him to leave. Then the day. I hated that day. I cried for like an hour before I finally got out of bed. When I DID get out of bed, I cried while taking a shower. And I silently cried getting ready. And I cried with no tears on the way there, to his sponsor's house. We drove completely in silence.

When we got to the terminal, I realized that Sherlock wasn't wearing a jacket. It was cold in the terminal, since it was spring in Oregon, and I knew that if it was cold now, then it would be freezing when the plane took off. And the blankets that they provide you with are thin and crappy. I was wearing my trench peacoat thingamajig, but I was just wearing because I felt wrong without it. I didn't want him to leave and forget me, so I gave him the coat. Heh... "gave" makes it sound like I handed it to him and he took it. [And you didn't?] Hells no. I shoved it in his arms. When he tried handing it back, I threw it over his shoulders. I should mention, I had to, like, JUMP just to get it over his head.

I told him to promise me that he would keep it. Forever. I was half joking. [Just half?] Just half. So anyways, he promised. Pinky promised. Then he uh... leaned down, kissed me quick, and turned around and walked away to board the plane. He didn't say goodbye. I watched the plane leave. Then I got a coffee and doughnut. I ate the doughnut, drank the coffee. Got another coffee. Drank that. Lather, rinse, repeat, for about an hour.[An hour? Why?] Well, about half an hour after the plane took off, I got a text.

Final wishes?
SH

Okay, it didn't say EXACTLY that, but it was close enough. And you wanna know what I said? [Why not.] I said, and this is kinda bad, but I said... um... here, I'll show you... Gimme a sec... [You kept it?] Course I did. It was so stupid, I couldn't bear to delete it. Here.

Tell the Thames I said Hi
❀Sky❀

[Oh.] Yeah... [...I like the flowers.] Shut up.
*Sigh.* Jesus. He had to leave. And he never called. And then he went off and DIED without my permission. That son of a bitch. How could he? He just thought he was more important than anything, and decided to just go off and...

He only talked to you about it. You do realize that. He didn't talk to anyone else as deeply as he did with you. [Except you.] No. Not me. We talked, but not about the types of things that you two talked about. We talked about cars and the weather and science and crap. Not like you two. You two talked about important things. He didn't even properly say goodbye to me. I hate him. Right here, right now, I properly hate him. So much that I would go to the ends of the earth to bring him back from the dead just so I could kill him again. After he apologized. And said goodbye. Fuck him. [That was your third and final time to cuss.] It was also the last time I'm going to talk about... that subject. Goodbye, John. I have a plane to catch.

End of Part 1