This idea would not leave me alone so I decided to finally get it on paper today. Slight AU. Deciding he wanted more out of life than being a short order cook at the Beach City Grill Priestly enlisted in the Army and after one four year tour overseas has returned to Santa Cruz. This takes place after the movie but Tish and Priestly never got together.
Priestly stood nervously across the street from the Beach City Grill trying to gather the strength to walk across the street. His hands were stuffed in the pockets of his well worn blue jeans and his sneakered feet tapped nervously against the dirty concrete sidewalk. His heart was pounding steadily against his ribs and he took a deep breath trying to expel the overwhelming nervousness that was threatening to consume him. He looked skyward for a moment, squinting against the harsh California sun before looking back at the grill. Through the clear windows that were still littered with posters he could see old familiar faces moving about busily as they served subs by the inch to waiting customers. A groan escaped him involuntarily at his cowardice. He had served in a war for Christ's sake and here he was having a panic attack at the thought of seeing his old friends. Knowing he needed to either walk across the street or run in the other direction he took one more deep breath and lifted his foot to take the first step.
As he slowly approached he saw that from the outside everything looked the exact same as when he left four years ago. The screen door was still painted every color of the rainbow and the paint was still chipping slightly, the exterior windows were clean and chatter could be heard from inside. The door creaked as he pulled it open and stepped inside, the smells of fresh soup and meat assaulting his nose. A warmth spread through him that he hadn't felt in four long, hell filled years when he looked at Jen, Piper, Tish, and Trucker. It was surprising that they were all still here after so long but he was extremely thankful that they were. He nervously licked his lips and stepped foreword to the counter and stared at Trucker who was smiling politely at him, no sign of recognition in his warm eyes. "What can I get for you today?"
Priestly shifted from foot to foot anxiously and cleared his throat as his eyes flickered around the room never making eye contact, "Hey Truck."
Trucker frowned at the nickname and his eyes narrowed as he obviously tried to figure out whether he knew this person or not. When his eyes landed on the younger man's neck his eyes widened, "Priestly?"
Jen, Piper, and Tish whipped around at Truckers question and stared at the unrecognizable face standing on the opposite side of the counter. All three looked him up and down but nothing about him said Priestly except the tattoo that was still situated on the left side of his neck.
Feeling extremely uncomfortable with all the staring he lowered his gaze to the floor and rubbed the back of his neck, knowing it was as red as his burning cheeks. He startled when two arms wrapped around him in a tight hug and he looked up to Trucker's smiling face, "You're back!"
Hating that he didn't know what to say he simply nodded and offered a weak, "Yeah."
Jen and Piper surged forward and gathered him into hugs but Tish stayed behind the counter and with critical eyes took in his appearance. Everything about him was different and more subdued, almost like an echo or shadow of his formal self. His normally bright mohawked hair was cut short and he no longer had any facial hair. Instead of a witty neon shirt he wore a simple black t-shirt with well worn jeans and converse sneakers. He didn't have on any bracelets, necklaces, or chains and all his piercings were gone. His skin, which used to be slightly pale was now well tanned and pulled tightly over his much leaner than normal frame. It was his eyes that had changed the most though. The normally clear and bright green eyes that she remembered so well were now shadowed and dull and when he met her eyes she almost had to take a step back at how dead they looked. Forcing away her concerns for now she walked around the counter and hugged him tightly. "Hey Renaissance man," she whispered into his ear before pulling back. She was rewarded with a small almost shy smile before he glanced away.
Seeing that he was probably feeling overwhelmed Trucker wrapped an arm around his shoulders and guided him through the back and out the rear door into the alleyway. Hoping he would talk now that he didn't have an audience Trucker began asking questions hoping to get him to talk. He could see the haunted shadows in his eyes and the way he stood stiffly, like he was waiting for someone to attack him. He recognized all the signs of a battle worn soldier because he had seen them all in the mirror many years ago. "When did you get back?"
Priestly who had been staring at the cause-mobile turned his attention to Trucker, "Couple weeks ago."
Trucker nodded, "Where have you been staying?"
"A hotel," he answered simply. He flinched harshly as a car backfired and even though he knew Trucker noticed he was thankful he didn't comment. "Not quite sure what to do now that I'm back. Can't exactly pick up where I left off."
The older hippie nodded his head sadly, the words ringing true and familiar. "No you can't but you can start new. If you want a place to stay for bit you can stay at my pad and I'd love to have you back at the grill."
Priestly wanted to accept the offers but knew it would be unwise. For the last two weeks he had awoken screaming in the middle of the night from flashbacks and nightmares and that wasn't something he wanted anyone to witness. As for working at the grill he wasn't sure he was ready for civilian life yet. He was like a ticking time bomb and he knew it. Little things set him off now making him a danger to himself and others. PTSD the doctor had told him like it was the simplest thing in the world. Just take these pills and you'll be fine he had said. Bull.
Seeing the younger man was warring with himself he decided to lay all his cards on the table and hope that Priestly did the same. "When I came back I thought it would be so great, to be home again. I was so wrong. Things that mattered before didn't anymore and I had changed so much that no one I knew even recognized me anymore. I wanted to be out of the warzone so bad but when I got back I realized that was my home now and I didn't know how to live normally anymore. To just relax and not be on full alert scared that someone was trying to kill me was foreign. It took me a long time to get to where I was comfortable in civilian life again. It helped me a lot to have someone to lean on, someone who knew what I was going through."
Priestly just stared at him with dead eyes before he felt moisture gathering in them against his will. Not trusting his words he nodded.
Trucker clapped him on the back, "It's always unlocked so whenever you're ready bring your stuff over. You can set up camp in the guest room and as for the grill whenever you're ready just come and hang out for a bit. You don't need to work or anything. Just take your time."
"What about Zoe? You guys still together?"
The hippie nodded with a smile, "Yeah but we kept our own places."
Priestly nodded again and stared at his feet as he kicked a small rock across the back parking spaces.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Trucker asked softly.
Priestly instantly shook his head and looked at Trucker with red rimmed eyes, "I can't Truck. No yet. I just can't."
Knowing he had pushed as much as he should for right now he nodded and walked past Priestly and reentered the grill.
Priestly sat heavily on the back step of the grill and rubbed his calloused hands back and forth across his short hair. He felt so lost, so alone. For four years he waited for the day he would be reunited with his makeshift family and now that it was here he was choking. More like drowning actually. Everything was so much duller here that he wasn't even sure how to deal with it. He was so used to bright flashing lights and loud explosions that he felt like a neurotic mess here where everything was so quiet and calm. It was all just too much and for a fleeting moment he wondered why he didn't just reenlist.
Suddenly a hand touched the back of his neck and scared him so badly he fell off the step and onto the asphalt. Tish's eyebrows shot up and her hands flew to her mouth, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
Priestly shook his head and frowned when he felt moisture on his face. He had been crying and hadn't even realized it. His hand rose quickly to swipe away the offending objects before he lifted himself up and sat back down on the step trying to slow his pounding heart and gather his jumbled thoughts.
"What's up?" he finally asked Tish who was now sitting next to him.
She shrugged and bit her lip looking extremely uncomfortable. "Nothing, I just wanted to see you. You look good, different."
He let out a small laugh, "Definitely different."
The pair lapsed into an uncomfortable silence and Priestly began to fidget when long forgotten feelings and emotions suddenly reappeared. "I missed you."
Tish turned to face him and smiled at his bright red cheeks. She scooted closer and laid her head on his shoulder, "I missed you too. Things weren't the same after you left."
Priestly huffed and stood abruptly before sitting down again on the opposite side of Tish. At her confused expression he pointed to his ear, "I lost most of my hearing in this ear. Easier to move than strain to hear."
"Oh. So what now?"
He shrugged, "I'm going to stay with Truck until I figure that out. He thought I should help out at the grill until I decide. So what have you been up to?"
A sigh escaped her, "Whole lot of nothing. I'm sure you'll find this shocking but I haven't been with anybody in months. I just want a normal happy relationship now and apparently guys just don't want that."
Priestly wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, "You'll find somebody."
She pulled away from him slightly and met his dull eyes when he turned with a questioning look, "What if I already did?" Priestly didn't even have time to react as Tish leaned forward and pushed her soft lips against his. This was everything he had wanted for so long but at the same time it wasn't. He wanted to be with Tish, love her and enjoy her but he couldn't right now. He was too dead inside to even try to live. He slowly pulled back and felt guilt seep in at her hurt expression. He leaned foreword and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.
"I'm sorry Tish but I can't do this right now. You deserve better than me. I'm too broken Tish."
Tish swallowed past the lump in her throat, "What happened to you Priestly? This isn't you."
He looked dejectedly at his shoes and for the umpteenth time wondered if he made the right decision in walking into the grill. "I changed Tish. The Priestly you knew is gone and I highly doubt he'll ever come back. Too much has happened."
She took a deep breath and grabbed his face in her hands. "We all change Priestly, it's a part of life. I won't push you or anything but I'd like to help you through what you're going through if you'll let me and when every things said and done maybe we can talk about us again?"
He stood and stuck his hands into his pockets, "Why Tish? Why do you even want an us because when I left I don't remember any fuzzies between us?"
She stood up and wrapped her arms around herself, "I was stupid Priestly. Just like you said I was too wrapped up in the wrapping paper to see what was inside. You're the best person I've ever known and unfortunately it took you leaving for me to realize that. If you don't want to be with me I completely understand but even if we could just hang out and be friends I'll take it."
The pair stood silently just staring at each other until Priestly moved forward and dipped his head to kiss her softly. "I can't do this right now Tish but if you're patient I'd like to give it a try."
She grabbed his hand and squeezed, "I waited four years, I can wait longer. Can I ask you one thing though?" He nodded once.
"Why did you join the Army?"
Priestly let out a breath and shrugged, "Seemed like a good idea at the time. I just wanted more out of life and seeing as I didn't have anything here I just went for it." That was mostly the truth. Before he enlisted it just felt like everybody was moving forward but he was just running in place. Trucker had Zoe, Jen had Jeff, Piper had Noah and Julia, and Tish was never at a loss for company. It seemed only he was the lonely one and it was beyond depressing. He wanted more out of life than loneliness and a dead end job and on a stupid whim he had signed up on a random Tuesday. Only now did he realize just how good he had it.
Tish accepted his answer and glanced at their still entwined fingers. "Come on." He allowed her to pull him back into the grill and once she detached herself he sat down on a stool by the counter.
"Are you hungry?" Jen asked, Piper next to her with an eager expression.
He shrugged, "I could eat." His eyes took in the scene in front of him and felt comfort at the familiarity. Trucker was leaning against the cash register counter with a relaxed smile watching Jen and Piper who were busy making him a sandwich and Tish was leaning over the counter by the computer doodling on a ticket and sneaking glances at him. His lifted his arm onto the counter and laid his chin on his palm with a thoughtful expression. When he met Trucker's eyes the corners of his lips twitched, maybe he would be all right.