"Seikatsu," I heard my elder brother say. "Isn't it time for you to become a jounin?"
I breathed a sigh as I rolled my eyes. We always had talks like this. He never get tired of persuading me to take that senseless jounin exam. Apparently I don't plan to. Never will. "Kikazu-niisan," I started. "Aren't you exhausted of repeating that question every second of the day?"
"Now that's just exaggerating." My brother stated, laughing it off. "We all know that it's necessary for me to remind you to take that exam. Wouldn't make our parents proud from above if you keep that stubborn attitude of yours."
"Nii-san, how many times do I have to tell you I don't want to become a jounin? It's too cliché y'know?" I walked towards the fridge and took out a strawberry milk carton, removed the cap and drank from it. Not bothering to pour it on a glass.
Apparently my brother noticed this and stole the carton from my hand. "Since when did you base your future to what's cliché and what's not?!"
"That's not what I meant. I just don't like jounins. I don't like what they do. I might become a teacher all the way. And you know well that I'm not good with kids." I faced him, folding my arms.
He brushed his bangs away from his eyes as he slouched. "Seikatsu, you're already 18! For fucking sake, can't act your age for once?! I've respected your decisions ever since, but you've gone too far now. Know your responsibilities!"
"You don't have to shout, if you think shouting will get what you want, well no, you're wrong. I know my responsibilities and I know what I must be doing with my life." I said, exasperated. "I don't want my future to be like… like the other ninjas out there. Letting their lives be controlled by the way our world works… I want to live by my own rules. By my own aesthetics."
"Y'know what? Do what you want. I'm tired of doing this. I just hope you won't regret your decision in the latter." Kikazu-niisan left the kitchen and teleported to somewhere who knows.
He forces me to become a jounin since it would be a huge embarrassment to our clan if I wouldn't. Fe, who cares about what our elders would say? I have my own fucking life, they don't have the right to tell me what shit I should be doing.
Yeah, that's what I believe. Hijoshikina, Seikatsu is not your usual heroine, but nevertheless, I'm still one hell of an awesome kunoichi~!
XXXX:
"You must be wondering why Tsunade-sama called you huh Sei-chan?" my brother said, now using my nickname. It's as if we didn't argue a while ago.
"Yeah, why'd you call 'baa-chan?" I stood there, waiting for her to say something. What the heck is their problem anyway?! I want to go back home and lie down!
"I've heard from your brother that you don't want to become a jounin…" She let her sentence trail off. "Fine then, I'm giving you an option."
"Sounds weird, what is it?" I asked, sounding sarcastically curious.
"I'm simply giving you an S-ranked mission." She deviously grinned. What? What does that supposed to mean? Since our kekkei genkai allows us to read someone's mind, should I read her mind and find out her hidden agenda?
"No." My brother sternly said, his eyes changing into a bluish hue. He must've read my thoughts. I shrugged and let Tsunade'baa-chan explain what the mission was all about.
"The Hijoshikina clan is well known for their ability to read minds yes?" she started.
"Yeah, but there's a disadvantage to it. We can't read some stranger's thoughts if you think we're able to do that." I said, not minding if I interrupted the hokage.
"Oy, kuso'onna! You don't interrupt me! Anywho, I just want you to infiltrate the akatsuki's hideout."
I blinked a few times as her words registered in my brain. Eh? Infiltrate? Akatsuki? Eeeeh?! "Like a spy? I'm like going to pretend to be an S-ranked criminal or something? Pretend to like, want to be an akatsuki member? Is that what you're saying?"
She nodded in response.
"Isn't that job for anbus?" I asked as I raised my brow.
"Yes. But since you won't become a jounin this is the other option you must choose."
"'Baa-chan you're such a sly." I grinned. "Alright, it's like I have a choice—"
"Oh but you have." She interrupted. "Become a jounin or accept this dangerous mission. Your choice. I'm giving you a generous offer here."
Oh, so this is their hidden agenda. They're using reverse psychology. I knew she wouldn't allow me to remain as a chuunin forever. But I won't take any chances. "Alright."
"At last, you're finally becoming a jounin!" my brother sighed in relief.
"Who told you I chose the first option? I chose the latter. I'm going to act as a spy for Tsunade-sama. Sounds erratically fun."I said, I can't contain the joy from my voice.
"WHAT?!" they both exclaimed in unison. "YOU CHOSE WHAT?!"
"I choose the S-ranked mission. Is there a problem?" I asked, deadpan.
"A-alright. No go backs Seikatsu. No go backs." Tsunade-sama warned.
"No go backs." I repeated.
My brother and I went home right after. Kikazu-niisan was conspicuously devastated with my decision as he sighed and looked at me wearily.
I was to leave Konohagakure in the morning, so I was forced to sleep early that night. My brother kissed my forehead as he turned off the lights in my room, still not talking to me.
XXXX:
I woke up early, prepared my things and took a bath. I wrote a letter for my twin siblings and for Kikazu-niisan and left. Not bothering to wait for them to wake up. I don't want to disturb their slumber.
I was actually panicking when I left our village. Since I forgot to ask Tsunade-sama where I should find an Akatsuki member. I sat under a tree and felt exhausted.
Just when I was about to leave I heard two males approaching. I immediately looked for a place to hide and decided to cover myself with bushes.
"It's not my fault they died, hm." A man stated, sounding rather irritated. "They didn't understand my art, so why would I waste my time and understand their pleas? Shitty bastards."
"Deidara," the other man said, "You are stupid if you believe your lame, pathetic perception is art. Art is eternal beauty and is not transient that departs quickly. Art must be left long into the future."
"Sasori-no danna, I respect you as a fellow artist but your belief is somewhat idiotic, hm." I took a peek and saw this beautiful lady with golden hair speak. Very peculiar to have such a low voice for a pretty kunoichi.
It wasn't long enough when I realized that those two idiots are from Akatsuki. Judging from their black cloaks, that is.
I emerged from the bushes and politely introduced myself. "Sup niggas?" okay, it may not be that polite to suddenly interrupt someone's conversation with a "sup niggas?" especially if they're criminals… but come on, I'm a Seikatsu and that's simply how I roll.
"She's a criminal from konohagakure, hm." The pretty lady stated as she examined me. "What should we do with her?"
The other guy that looked exactly like a rotten potato just stared at me.
"My, would you like to know how art feels like?" the pretty lady asked, as she caressed my face.
"Deidara, tie her up. She might be some of help in regarding the nine tails." The rotten potato guy said.
"Ahh, an interrogation, hm. Sounds nice." She tied my hands with a sturdy rope and was about to blindfold me when I suddenly blurted out a stupid question.
"Why's your hand sweaty? It feels as if there's a mouth there." I stated innocently.
She raised her hands to reveal two mouths randomly moving their tongues. I felt a shiver down my spine as I looked away. "I get it. Mouths, hands… perfect combination."
"Just shut up." She said indifferently and finally covered my eyes.
"Uhmm, the pretty lady with golden hair is Deidara right?" I asked, trying to sound calm.
"I'm no fucking 'pretty lady', hm." Deidara annoyingly responded.
"Oh, so you're a guy… NO WAIT WHAT?!" I exclaimed. "You're a guy?! But why are you so pretty?!"
"I shall fix your statement then, I'm no fucking pretty lady I'm just that handsome, hm."
"Okay… sudden realization… Breaking news~ Deidara is not, sadly a girl. But a man."
"I'd really make you shut your mouth if you won't stop talking."
"Okay then~ I just want to know If I can become an Akatsuki member~ sheesh."
A/N: So yeah, I've decided to rewrite "My Stupid Mission: Fail!" since the first one was sloppily written by an idiot named, PS. I do hope you guys enjoy this like the last time~ Zatizzall.
JAA NE~