This is a new story I wrote (obviously) that is titled "I Promise to (Not) Protect You." (Again, no frigging der…) This is a humorous story about how Neji promised to protect Sakura from anything and fails to uphold it. Flashbacks are likely. Rated T for language (my first fic with cursing… yay)
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its affiliations.
DING DONG!
The doorbell went off at the Hyuuga mansion. "I'll get it." Hinata called. When she opened the door, the sight of Sakura surprised her. The pink-haired kunochi was obviously angry. Her clothes were ripped, she was missing a sandal, her hair was messed up, and her emerald eyes were red with anger.
"Where the hell is your damn cousin?" she demanded. "I'm gonna kill him!"
"Sakura!" Hinata was caught off guard by Sakura's choice of words. "Why are you upset?"
"Where is he?" Sakura yelled again. Hinata pointed upstairs. Sakura pushed Hinata aside.
"What is wrong?" Hinata asked no one in particular.
Neji was in his room, minding his own business, when Sakura bust his door down. "NEJI!" she screamed. "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"
Neji, maintaining his cool, replied, "What is it, Haruno?"
She stormed up to him and stuck a finger in his face. "What happened to protecting me, dammit?"
"…Excuse me?" Neji asked.
"Don't play dumb with me!" Sakura snapped. "You told me, "I promise to protect you." Where were you when all this—" she pointed to herself "—happened? HUH?"
"Calm down and tell me what happened." Neji replied.
Sakura, trying to keep her cool, retold the story.
Flashback:
"Ah, what a great day to be alive!" Sakura shouted cheerfully as she walked through the park.
She sat down on a bench and unwrapped her favorite candy bar, a Pay Day. "Mm… Today is my Pay Day, and I'm going to reap my paycheck!" Before she could get to eating it, she heard a… chirp? Or whatever sound a squirrel makes.
She looked behind her. A group of squirrels was there. She looked at them then back at her candy bar. She pinched off a tiny piece and tossed it to them. The squirrels looked at the small piece then angrily at Sakura.
"What?" she asked. The squirrels jumped at her and attacked. "AAAAAH! GET THESE RABIE-INFESTED SEX MAMMALS OFF OF ME! GAH!"
The squirrels ran off, each carrying a large piece of chocolate. Sakura groaned and rolled onto her back. She looked at the remains of her candy bar: a torn wrapper and tiny chocolate crumbs. "Dammit…" she muttered. "Thanks a lot biatches!"
She got up and dusted herself off. "Guess I'll go buy another one." she sighed. She walked a few steps. There were some kids fiddling with some string. Sakura ignored them and continued to walk. After a few steps, she tripped on string tied in-between two benches. She fell, her forehead landing hard on the concrete and one of her sandals coming off. "OW!" she screamed. The kids laughed.
"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?" she screamed at them. "KEEP LAUGHING! IT'LL BE HILARIOUS WHEN I SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASSES!"
The kids slowly inched away.
She groaned, holding her forehead. Before she could reach down to pick up her sandal, she heard, "LOOK OUT!" When she turned in the direction of the voice, a football smacked into her cheek. She fell to the ground. Her headband landed a few inches away from her head.
"Uggggghhhh…" She groaned. She staggered up.
"FOUR!" KONK! THUD!
End Flashback:
Sakura was steaming by the time that the story was over. "So, thanks to YOU, I got attacked by squirrels, tripped over string, AND got hit in the head with a football AND a golf ball! WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A GOLF COURSE NEJI! SO THANKS FOR NOTHING, BIATCH!" Sakura kicked him in his narts and stormed out.
Neji was left on the ground, with a painful expression on his face, holding his hands in-between his legs. Hinata came in the room. "Are you okay?" she asked.
"Y-Yeah. I just need an ice pack, a wet cloth, and twenty aspirin…"