TRTSS33: The Holiday Bra! – By DS Wynne
Disclaimer: R1/2, SM, ST, the DBU and other properties belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a multi-genre "one-shot" story.
Special Note: This takes place in present time around Christ.
Author's Note: Really, this is a one-shot story. Honest!
It was that time of year again, when the world slows down for a year-end merriment, whether it is for the Islamic New Year, Chanukah, Festivus, observance of the Emperor of Japan's birthday, the Winter Solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa or New Years Eve. In Japan, the observance of such holidays is generally informal, and such observances are seen as the citizenry's fascination with Western culture, although there are plenty of foreigners around who do observe such holidays…
For Ranma Saotome, immortal and awesome martial artist, observing these holidays was just an excuse for his wife to have a party.
"Merry Christmas, everyone!" Usagi said, as she waved at the neighbors, just before re-entering her home in Azabuu Juuban Ward, which used to belong to her mother-in-law Nodoka, before she returned to live in her hometown of Okayama in the south of the country. Like Ranma, when it comes to Thanksgiving, Usagi loved Christmas to exaggerated levels. And that is why she was wearing her garish Christmas sweater, her fake antlers, and had the house so thoroughly decorated that even the residents on the Moon would tell whose house it was.
"Ah, I can smell it in the air," Usagi said. "I am definitely going to win the Christmas decoration contest this year.
"Aren't YOU the smug one?" Ranma said jokingly, as he sets down yet another box of decorations unto the floor.
"Ha, ha, ha, Ranma."
"You mean, ho, ho, ho."
"Very funny. Anyway, I think that there will be NO problems concerning the decorations."
"As oppose to nearly creating a nuclear meltdown using the flux capacitator to power the lights?"
"Okay, that was a bit much, but I only wanted to get the more bang for the effect."
"The government had to pass an amendment to the constitution, in order to prevent you from doing that again. And the year before, you nearly caused another ice age when you attempted to create a snow effect around the neighborhood."
"Look, I learned my lesson to never try to use the magical abilities of one of my old enemies for personal gain," Usagi replied, thinking about how she used some spells from Princess Snow Kaguya repertoire with disastrous results. "Can't you cut me a break?"
"No," Ranma replied, using a deadpan expression.
"Meanie! Biiiii!"
"Is everything okay, here?" said Bra, as she stepped out of the kitchen. She was making holiday cookies as a way of contributing to the holiday spirit…
"Yeah, that's me jostling Usagi for her mistakes," Ranma said.
"You know, I have to take this…this insult from you, Ranma," Usagi said. "Screw you, I'm going…to my parents' home."
"Ah, don't be mad," Ranma said, as Usagi touches her forehead with her right middle and finger.
"Too late, 'husband'…and I use that term loosely, considering the lack of support you are giving me. Buh-bye!"
And with that, the Moon Princess utilizes the "Instant Transmission Technique" to teleport herself out of the house.
"Heh," Ranma said, as he rubs his hands mischievously. "Excellent…"
"Ranma, that's mean," Bra said.
"It was a necessary stratagem, my dear Bra," Ranma replied. "I didn't want her to even sense my gift to her."
"And that is…"
"Well, I had to use my contacts to find this," Ranma said, as he pulls out a thick wooden box. "It cost me a pretty penny, but I present to you…'Lilith's Mirror'…"
Ranma opens the box to reveal a silver mirror that had a decorative hilt on it. At the moment, it was slightly covered with a cloth.
"It looks beautiful," Bra said, as she stared at the mirror for some strange reason…
"It was actually made for Usagi' back during the Silver Millennium," Ranma said. "The Norse elves had commissioned their dwarf neighbors to make this, and wanted to present this to Usagi for the Winter Solstice Holiday, but never had the chance."
"What happened?" Bra asked.
"The Dark Kingdom of the Negaverse attacked, that's what happened. But anyway, I came across some old text concerning the mirror, so, being who I am, went adventuring on the side."
"Let me guess what happened: along the way, you 'bedded' someone of a female nature, eh?" Bra said drolly.
"Well, I had to have help from the Dark Elf Queen Alflyse, who is still considered to be my wife, Bra," Ranma said, not really wanting to talk about THAT fiasco…
"See, this is problem," Bra said. "I have to deal with all these women in your life, you know…"
Bra then removes the cloth from the mirror surface.
"Aren't I beautiful to quest for?" Bra asked, as she stared into the mirror.
"Bra, don't-!" Ranma said, as he remembered why the mirror was special.
Bra looks at her reflection, and sees not herself, but of her ooruzu form…
"Ah!" Bra said, as she drops the mirror unto the floor, as the mirror glowed.
"Just calm down," Ranma said, as he attempted to comfort Bra.
"Get away from me!" Bra screamed, as she pushed Ranma away with superhuman strength. Already, her body began to swell, as her eyes glowed. Her hips widened, even as she began to burst out her top.
"Oh, boy," Ranma said, as he began to look up, and up, and up at his wife Bra, as she grew taller and bigger…
Meanwhile, across town…
"I wish Ranma wouldn't think I mess up on stuff…just because, you know," Usagi said, as she stirred sugar into her tea. "I mean, doesn't he think better of me?"
"Dear, you shouldn't take criticism too hard," Ikuko said between sips of tea. "The fact is, that husband of yours have done more things for you than any normal husband is allowed to. I'm surprised that he hasn't filed divorce papers by now."
"Mother!" Usagi said. "We love each other, and have been able to come to an understanding towards our marriage."
"I know, which is why you shouldn't take his criticism to hard," Ikuko said gently. "But I'm saying is that if he hasn't left you by now, that means that he likes you at the very least."
"Well, I guess so…"
Just then, Usagi's cell phone rings.
"Let me get this," Usagi said, as she picks up her phone to answer the call. "Huh, it's from Ranma…"
Usagi answers the phone.
"Hello?" Usagi said.
"Usagi, I think we have a problem," Ranma said, as he was being clutched by a raging Bra-ooruzu, as she climbed to the top of Tokyo Tower.
"ROARRR!" Bra roared.
"I'm on my way," Usagi said, as she hangs up the phone. "Mom-"
"I know, I heard," Ikuko said. "But try to limit the damage. I don't want my insurance rates to go up."
"Gee, thanks…"
Meanwhile, Bra-ooruzu thumps her chest, as helicopters began to circle about while Ranma was utterly embarrassed for "playing" the part of the damsel in distress, so to speak. She then looks her husband.
"Am I not beautiful?" Bra-ooruzu yelled.
"I never said you weren't, Bra," Ranma said. "You're still my wife, no matter what…form"
"Then why don't you spend more time with me?"
"I spent time with you early fall."
"But that's while we were helping HER," Bra-ooruzu said. "It's always about HER!"
"What about me?" Sailor Moon said, as she floated in view.
"You never know what's it is like to be in someone's shadow, or having to be some sort of monster!"
"Bra, you're wrong," Sailor Moon said. "For one thing, Ranma may have many women in his life, but there is only a handful that he would ever consider marriage material. YOU made the cut, Bra. If you want more time with Ranma, you have to say something. There's enough of Ranma to go around."
"Hey, don't I get a say in all this?" Ranma yelled with annoyance.
"No," Bra-ooruzu and Sailor Moon said in unison.
"O-h-kay…"
"As for the other thing you just said, I have to live with the fact that I will never be first in Ranma's life, because of Akane, Ranma's true love," Sailor Moon said with a sigh.
"Really?" Bra-ooruzu said in surprise.
"Really. Even when Akane had been thought to have died, even spending thousands of years together, Akane was always first in Ranma's heart."
"Oh, great," Ranma said. "Now I feel guilty."
"Well, don't be, Ranma," Sailor Moon said. "Do you know why I go all out for the holidays?"
"Because you like to party?"
"Not just that," Sailor Moon said, as she pulls out her engagement ring, from underneath her Sailor fuku. "Remember when you gave me this?"
"Ummm, I'm not sure…"
"It was my first gift from you, when you proposed marriage on Christmas Eve, the Winter Solstice specifically, on Chikyuu, after we talked about adopting Goku as our son. That's why I go all out around this time of year, because you made my life complete."
"I…I see…"
"WAHHHHHHH!" Bra-ooruzu cried out, as she began to shed tears. "That's so romantic! I'm not worthy of that…"
"Bra, you are more than worthy of Ranma's affections," Sailor Moon said. "You are very beautiful, and I would love it if you be my co-wife in every way."
"Even…like this?"
"Even like this. And if you are concerned about being alone, then I can join you, if you wish…"
"Usagi, don't-!" Ranma yelled.
"Hu-wahhhhhhhhhh!" Sailor Moon yelled, as she becomes Ooruzu Sailor Moon, as her clothes adjusted to accommodate the change. While Bra's fur was teal, Ooruzu Sailor Moon's fur was blond.
"You would change…for me?" Bra-ooruzu said.
"I would, and I would gladly remain this way for you if you wish it," Ooruzu Sailor Moon said. "Although, I do admit, I would miss shopping for clothes…"
"No, don't," Bra-ooruzu said. "That won't be necessary. I just miss my family, and felt so alone."
"Then, you won't have to," Ranma said. "We can visit your folks any time. After all, we still have that time machine, after all."
Pause.
"But I wanted to give you a gift of sorts, so that you didn't feel like a freak or anything…"
With that, Ranma pulls out a large scroll from pocket space.
"I've been working on a way that would allow you to control your Saiyajin transformations," Ranma said. "You always wanted to hang out under the pale of the moonlight, but were afraid to because of your fear of running amuck in your ooruzu form."
"You did that…for me?" Bra-ooruzu said.
"You're my wife, after all."
"Ahhhh," Bra-ooruzu said, as she hugged her husband. "How romantic…"
"Arrgh!" Ranma yelped. "Not too…tight-!"
Later that night, somewhere over the North Pole…
"It's beautiful," Bra said, as she bathed the rays of the Moon, as Ranma pulled the reins of Santa Claus. He and Usagi liked volunteering their time to help an old friend out, whom they met hundreds of years ago in Central Europe, back when magic was a bit stronger than in modern times…
"Thanks for your present, Ranma," Bra said, as she kissed Ranma on the check.
"You're welcome," Ranma said,
"Guys, we still have over a million homes to cover," Usagi said, as she double-checked her naughty/nice list, mainly to see if she was on the nice list.
"Right," Ranma said, as he snapped the whip. "Mush-!"
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good…NIGHT!
Fin.