A/N: Originally written July 31, 2010. This is a poem, meant to be sung to the tune of "I Wan'na Be Like You (The Monkey Song)" from the Disney animated film The Jungle Book. Every line within quotation marks is a rewritten line from the song. Everything not in quotation marks tells you who is doing the talking. Naruto and Sasuke go at it again, only this time, everyone from Konohagakure joins in.
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Naruto! That's Masashi Kishimoto's business. Of course I don't own "I Wan'na Be Like You (The Monkey Song)" or the film The Jungle Book! (Actually, I do own a copy of the film, but you know what I mean.) That's Disney's business. And of course I'm making no money off of this really fun little ditty!
"I'm Gonna Outmatch You (Naruto's Song)"
"Now he's the best of the ninja class, Konoha V.I.P.," Naruto complained.
"He's reached the top, and he won't stop, and it's disgusting to see.
I'm gonna kick your butt, Sasuke, so don't stand there and frown!
Just wait and see! You'll be the guy that I'll run circles around!
Yeah, woo hoo hoo!"
"Stupid fox!" Ebisu snarled.
"I'm gonna outmatch you!" Naruto declared.
"You are not his equal," Lee pointed out.
"I'm gonna fight like you," Naruto vowed.
"Dope . . ." Sasuke muttered.
"Smite like you," Naruto continued.
"Nope!" Sakura contradicted happily.
"Too!" Naruto shouted.
"Stop annoying Sasuke!" Ino screeched angrily.
"You see, it's true!" Naruto trumpeted with a grin.
Go, Naruto! Hinata thought fervently.
"A boy like me," Naruto said, tugging his Konoha headband confidently.
"With a stroke of sheer luck," Kiba barked scornfully.
"Can learn to beat Sasuke, too!" Naruto bragged.
"My, young Naruto, you're growing up well!" Kakashi quietly praised him.
"Now here's where you come in, Master. Lay the secret on me of Sasuke's lightning," Naruto whispered confidentially.
"But you don't know how to make lightning!" Kakashi pointed out with just a hint of impatience in his voice.
"Now don't make me angry, Master! I've seen the two of you!
What I've been sighting is Sasuke's lightning, his awesome new jutsu!" Naruto accused Kakashi.
"So tell me the secret, Master. Come on, clue me what to do.
Tell me the story of his Chidori, so I can do it, too!" Naruto begged.
"Ah . . . so that's what Naruto's after," said the Third Hokage knowingly.
"He'll catch up to Sasuke," Iruka said with an easy smile. "He'll beat him, he'll . . . he'll . . . hmm . . . yeah . . . those eyes . . . what a boy!"
"You think Naruto can beat Sasuke's sharingan? That will take brains and brawn," the Third Hokage told Iruka.
"You'd better believe it, and he's loaded with both!" Iruka declared.
"Are you certain?" the Third Hokage asked.
"Oh, yeah, yeah," Iruka affirmed.
"Well, someday he'll become Hokage and exceed Sasuke, won't he?" said the Third Hokage, smiling at both boys from Cell 7.
"He's great, sir, solid great!" Iruka said eagerly.
"Quite right, my friend," the Third Lord agreed.
Darn! He's such a show-off! That jerk Sasuke thinks he's just so cool! I am gonna show him even though he's from Uchiha that a guy like me can still surpass him! Naruto thought irritably.
What a doofus . . . Sasuke thought to himself.
Mr. Perfect Ninja . . . Naruto complained in his own mind.
He'll just slow me down! Sasuke thought in exasperation.
Everybody's favorite . . . Naruto grumbled inwardly.
I can't believe he's in my cell! thought an infuriated Sasuke.
Sasuke's overrated! Naruto thought stubbornly.
Dunce, dunce, dunce, dunce! Sasuke howled inwardly.
He's blah, blah, blah, blah! Naruto thought in disgust.
"Aargh! Gah!" Sasuke bellowed angrily.
"Gettin' mad, Sasuke?" Naruto asked with a smug grin.
"We are not in the same league!" Sasuke yelled heatedly.
"Hey, I'm your equal, and you know it!" Naruto shot back readily.
"What makes you think we're equals?" Sasuke asked, as though Naruto's idea were a clever joke.
"I'm better than you any day!" Naruto crowed with conviction.
"In your dreams, you ninja screw-up!" Sasuke said, his voice filled with scorn.
"I'll show you who's dreaming, jerk!" Naruto bellowed in fury.
"You!" Naruto roared.
"Don't fight fate," Neji murmured.
"I'm gonna outmatch you!" Naruto promised.
"As always, you're clueless," Shikamaru groaned impatiently.
"I'm gonna bust like you," Naruto said enthusiastically.
"Humph!" Sasuke grunted.
"Just like you," Naruto persisted happily.
"Chump . . ." Konohamaru muttered.
"Too!" Naruto shouted, never wavering in his conviction.
"You think you can beat him?" Choji asked.
"You see, it's true!" Naruto yelled, tirelessly upholding his side of the argument.
"He's too advanced," Tenten warned Naruto.
"A boy like me," Naruto said, pointing at himself with a boastful flourish.
"You're a hopeless dreamer," Shino muttered, his voice barely audible behind his high coat collar.
"Can't learn to outmatch someone like me!" Sasuke interrupted smugly.
"Shut your mouth, Sasuke! Can learn to outmatch someone like you!" Naruto shouted, always ready to refute Sasuke.
"With some time . . ." Jiraiya consented, watching his student from a distance with an affectionate smile.
"Yeah, can't learn to outmatch someone like me!" Sasuke answered with a cocky grin, thus winning the argument for the time being.
!The End!
A/N: Please review, my fellow Naruto (and Disney) fans!