A New Dawn

Remus slammed his fist against the wall, in the bedroom of Sirius at number 12 Grimmauld place. He still couldn't believe that he had lost him. He had lost his friend, his brother, his love, his everything. At last he was all alone. No hope, no light, no …nothing. Remus tried to control the inner wolf of him. But at last, the inner wolf Mooney got the better of him. Mooney sensed the loss of his most loyal pack mate Padfoot and this time it knew that it was permanent. Mooney howled inside Remus. Mooney wanted to rip everything in sight, wanted to tear every piece that reminded him of his beloved mate Padfoot. Remus felt the same way. For once, Mooney & Remus unitedly wanted something. They unitedly wanted to destroy the reason of Padfoot's fall. Remus kept slamming his fist against the wall.

"Why …why…why…you promised you'll never leave me…WHY?"

Remus continued to scream until his throat broke, continued to slam his fists until they bled & even after that. He slowly slid down to the floor with tears in his eyes & blood in his fists & his heart.

Knock knock!

No response.

KNOCK KNOCK! Harder this time.

Remus got up with a jerk. He blinked several time, in the bright sunlight, that was streaming through the windows. It took a moment for him to realize why he was lying to the dusty floor of Sirius's bedroom.

KNOCK KNOCK. "Remus are you in there?" Arthur Weasley's voice rang.

Remus got up, composed himself quickly.

"Yeah, in a minute Arthur."

Remus looked at his hands. They were blood stained & looked horrible. He didn't bother to fuss with healing spells, just put a temporary glamour charm to hide it & rushed out of the room. Arthur was standing outside.

"Remus, are you…"

"What brings you here, in this early morning? Is everything ok?" Remus cut Arthur off smoothly.

Arthur continued to eye Remus suspiciously but didn't push further on the topic.

"Well, yesterday we went to bring Harry, from his…er… relatives."

"Oh…" Remus stated quite flatly.

Arthur took his lack of response as his worry over Harry & rushed to assure that he is ok and apparently unharmed. Remus merely nodded.

"We wanted to keep him in the Burrow, but he wanted to see you. I think he wanted to talk to you."

Remus continued to stare.

"…So, I think it is best to bring him here, now that you are the closest thing to him after…you know…" Arthur trailed off.

"He is staying here?" Remus asked a bit less gently.

"Yeah, for the last couple of weeks, before the holiday ends." Arthur put in excitedly.

Remus sighed but nodded anyway.

"Also we are going abroad…order business… and obviously Harry can't come, so Albus insisted him to stay over Dursley's, but… well, this is the better, far better option for him…you will understand after seeing him."

Remus just stared moodily to the wall behind Arthur, not taking a word in, that Arthur was saying. One thing is screaming in his mind. 'Harry is going to stay. Harry, the reason, that Sirius is no more.'

"…So I'll be seeing you in next month I guess, take care Remus."

The last few words yanked Remus to reality as he accompanied Arthur to the hall downstairs & to the kitchen.

With a whoosh & green flames Arthur went.

"Remus…" a small, hesitant voice spoke behind him.

Remus stiffened, closed his eyes and prayed for control.

"Remus I …"

"You can stay in the same room, like the previous time. If you need anything…well, everything is here I guess." Remus cut in icily, with his back still on Harry.

"Oh….yeah…right…I just …go … then." Harry said in a small voice. After waiting a few moments for response, when he didn't get any from his former professor, he slowly started towards his bedroom upstairs with his rucksack.

Two days had been passed, since Harry came to Grimmauld place. But in these two days, Remus didn't even look at him, let alone talk to him. Harry knew Sirius's death hit him hard and may be Remus just wanted to grieve alone. As far as Harry knew Remus, he knew that Remus hated to share his emotions. He noticed how pale & sick Remus looked now days. Harry decided to talk to him that night. It would help both of them to cope with the situation.

Harry rubbed his eyes, as giant old wizard clock struck 12' midnight. Harry was waiting for Remus. He hadn't returned yet. But tonight Harry was determined to confront Remus, made him to share his grief & made him feel better. After all Remus was indeed the first marauder that he met, in his third year. A faint smile crossed across harry's face, as he reminiscent the moment in the train where Remus gave him chocolate after his collapse. He was the sole guardian that he had left and from the very beginning he kept thinking him as a kind person, as someone, who understood him, cared for him, someone, close to his own father. And Harry was sure that Remus loved him too. It cut Harry to the core to see Remus this sick, this sad and this grief-stricken. Suddenly, an idea occurred to Harry. The next day is father's day. Harry sprang to his feet & ran up to his room, grabbed a parchment & quill & wrote something in a paper. He folded it carefully & put it in an envelope. He went down to the living room in search of Hedwig. Summoning the owl he tied the envelope to her leg & Hedwig took off.

WHOOSH!

Harry turned around at the sound of fireplace.

Remus stumbled out of the fireplace & made his way straight to his room on the second floor. He just wanted to lie down, to sleep, peacefully, without the nightmare of the Sirius's fall. He stood in front of Sirius's room, the one, just next to the stairs. With his one hand on the door knob and forehead pressed tightly against the door, he mumbled softly.

"I miss you Padfoot."

"Remus." A hesitant voice called from behind.

Remus instantly got stiffened, as he slowly removed his forehead from the door.

"Remus…I…"

"You are awake." Not a question but a statement that came from Remus.

"Oh… um… yeah… er… well…" Harry stuttered, unsure of what to say.

"Go to sleep." Remus said.

"I am okay, Remus, you don't have to worry about me, I just wanted to…" harry hurried to explain but got cut off, by Remus.

"Of course you are ok. I am not saying this because I am worried about you Harry. And you want something, yeah I get it. But, don't you think, it is time to see beyond what you want." Remus said with gritted teeth, still his back to Harry.

Harry stood horror struck.

"Remus… I… I don't understand…what…"

"What am I talking about?" Remus practically screamed.

"SIRIUS, you GODFATHER, is what I am talking about HARRY…." Remus whipped around.

"… The one for whom you were the world, the one for whom you were always the first priority, the one who cared for you, loved you dearly & the one, who DIED for you being the reason. It's always FOR YOU Harry."

Harry was stunned to silence. Remus blamed him. Remus thought he is responsible for Sirius's death. The guilt, the enormous guilt that was subsided a bit during the last couple of months rose again vehemently. Harry desperately looked at Remus's face. Loathing, hatred and anger were etched all over his face. The ever kind warm brown eyes were tinted with savage golden. Remus and Mooney, both are united, Harry realized. Harry bit his lips to prevent tears from falling.

"Remus, I am sorry, so sorry, I didn't mean….I swear… I thought he was in trouble…"

"Yes, YOU thought, yet again." Remus snarled & took a step towards Harry. Harry took a step back involuntarily. Remus stopped, closed his eyes & gritted his teeth, trying to control his anger.

"Harry, go to your room." With that Remus turned around & made to leave.

"No Remus… wait" Harry cried out.

"Just GO HARRY."

"No, listen…" Harry moved forward & touched Remus's shoulder.

Remus whipped around & grabbed Harry's collar.

"I SAID JUST GO." With that Remus pushed back Harry and released his collar, with blinding anger.

Harry stumbled backward to the edge of the staircase & let out a yell as he lost his balance.

With a loud crash, Harry's body tumbled through the entire staircase & landed on the ground floor. A sickening crack was heard as his forehead struck painfully with one sharp corner of the bottom stairs. Blood started to ooze out from the gash at his forehead and Harry's world gone pitch black.

It took a moment for Remus to register what just happened. Remus watched numbly, as Harry fell. As the gravity of the situation sank in, Remus let out a strangled cry, "HARRY!"

Remus rushed to downstairs where Harry's limp body lied.

"No no no no…." Remus chanted horrified. As he took Harry's bloodstained head in his lap.

He immediately checked for his pulse. He gave a sigh of relief as he found one.

Remus scooped up Harry in his arms & rushed towards Harry's room. He laid down harry on his bed gently and summoned some fresh bandages, cotton, dittany and murtlap essence along with wormwood solution. He cleaned the wound with wormwood solution before casting a blood clotting spell & then gently he applied the dittany and murtlap essence on the clotted blood & wrapped the bandage over Harry's head. Remus stared intently at Harry for a moment. He was in fact looking at Harry for the first time since the incident at the dept. of mystery. He noticed how pale & thin Harry had become. The dark circles around his eyes were indicating the lack of sleep. Suddenly, something on Harry's forehand caught Remus's eyes. He moved forward & gently rolled back Harry's sleeve.

Remus gasped. 'MURDERER', the work is carved there and by the look of it, Remus was sure that it was etched in a pure muggle way with something sharp.

Enormous guilt was flooded through Remus, blended with self loathing & anger.

"Dursleys…" Remus growled. Remus swallowed a particular painful lump at his throat. He continued to look at Harry & slowly sat down on his bed cradling Harry's head on his lap. He softly, ran his fingers through Harry's messy hair.

"Harry…" Remus choked & tears started to fall freely & silently from his eyes, on Harry's forehead.

Remus woke up, by a sharp nipping on his hand. Hedwig was fluttering her wings impatiently & as soon as Remus opened his eyes, Hedwig stuck out his leg. Confused, Remus untied the parcel,from Hedwig's leg. It was addressed to him. Remus slowly opened the parcel; a handsome quill & an ancient looking beautiful inkpot were revealed. The ink pot is charmed to reflect the cloudless night sky, flooded with silvery moonlight and punctuated with diamond like stars. A note fell along with this. Remus opened the note with shaking hand.

Dear Remus,

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY.

With love,

Harry.

Remus stared. He was so deeply moved that, he couldn't move. He just stared at the note.

"I am sorry. I shouldn't have sent you that…." A faint voice, strained with pain spoke from Remus's lap. Remus startled & looked down & found two pair of emerald eyes were looking at him.

"I know I have no right…just thought may be…" Harry shifted his gaze to his feet as he muttered this.

Suddenly harry was yanked forward & found himself in a bone crushing hug by Remus.

"Oh Lord! You are alright. Harry …. Thank Merlin…" Remus was thanking every God he knew for Harry's well being.

Remus pulled back just enough so that he could see harry's face. He gently cupped Harry's face with one hand.

"Harry, look at me please." Remus pleaded softly.

Slowly Harry lifted up his head & looked at him.

Remus was caressing his cheek with his thumb, as he said softly.

"Forgive me, please."

Harry continued to stare.

"Harry, I was being irrational…No…selfish…I was being selfish… just thought… that I am the only one who cared… who loved him… I was…I was… just… so angry…I am sorry Harry I am truly sorry… I lost control… " Remus's voice shook.

"Harry, I am just …just...so…so sorry…Harry…"

"I understand." Harry replied in a small voice.

"No, Harry… you don't have to understand… I was so out of line this time, that you have every right to be furious with me, to loathe me …to hate me…" Remus trailed off.

Harry shook his head, "No, Remus… it is alright… you've just made a mistake and I forgive you…" With a short pause, Harry added "…I love you." And again Harry dropped his gaze.

Remus pulled Harry to his chest & planted a kiss on the top of his head. After a while he gently pulled back.

"Harry."

Harry looked up. Remus was holding the present & the note.

"Thank you son." The faint yet true smile broke into Remus's face.

Remus saw as Harry's eyes immediately lit up at his words and again he pulled Harry in a gentle embraced.

"We will cope together." Remus whispered.

Harry let out a sigh of relief & closed his eyes in the warmth of Remus's chest & feeling safe and protected, since the loss of his Godfather.

The golden sunlight was streaming through the window, as the golden orb of the sun was peering through the horizon, illuminating both the humans, offering warmth as a father and son discovered each other, in a brand new dawn.