I love Alice in Wonderland. I love Doctor Who. It's only natural that the to should come together isn't it?

WARNING: Later on in story there is potentially shocking character change.

"Oh my… this is amazing! Impossible! Could it be…. No she doesn't lie, the TARDIS can't lie. Can it lie? I've never asked. Strange, I usually ask about things like that. But asking usually requires an answer…"

"Doctor? What's going on?" Amy Pond lifted her head sleepily from the chair she was sprawled on, her long red hair ruffled on one side from having her head propped in her hand. Blearily, she rubbed her eyes and stared at the maniac that was running in circles six feet in front her, muttering to himself at high speed. "Doctor?"

"Not now, Amy… in fact not at all. Don't ask, don't speak, don't even think. If we're going to land where I think we're going to, then you will be too flabbergasted to even dream of uttering a single word. Not that anything has stopped you before of course, oh nonono… Now TARDIS. Are you going to admit your little joke? Or are you still going to remain schtum?" In his excited frustration, the Doctor kicked out at his beloved control panel, and completely missed. "You planned that, didn't you? You planned it, and now you're trying-"

Amy rolled her eyes towards heaven, not even attempting to get up. She'd seen him like this far too many times to count, and often it was about some planet that hadn't been inhabited for the past five hundred or so years. She remembered the time all too well when he insisted on taking her to the moon- yes the moon for goodness sake, anyone could go to the moon- and she had to sit around for four or five hours pretending to be fascinated by the lack of atmosphere and the never ending expanse of grey rock. The Doctor, on the other hand, had insisted on searching behind what seemed every other boulder, occasionally crying out "Come out and play!" or what suspiciously sounded like "Edgar, my old friend! Edgar, I am back!" From the lack of response, Amy noticed, 'Edgar' didn't seem that terribly interested. Sure enough, after five hours of playing his pointless game of hide and seek, the Doctor had returned to the TARDIS and sulked for over a fortnight. It would have been irritating if the Doctor wasn't such a little boy; his idea of sulking was the typical five-year old grunting and pouting of the bottom lip. Half the time, Amy honestly didn't know if she wanted to hit him or mother him to death.

"What am I thinking? Of course she didn't plan it! It's fate! Wonderful, fantastic, utterly inconvenient FATE. But what if it's changed? What if it's no longer the place I remember? What if he's gone? Oh cruel fate, don't DO THIS TO ME!"

"What's fate?" She just had to ask.

"I SAID DON'T TALK TO ME, POND!" The Doctor manically began to press as many buttons as he could possibly reach, his long fingers flying over his keypad. "If I tap this one… and this one… perhaps if I do it how she wants it… there was a cat last time if I recall. Lovely one, all…. stripy. Could talk human as well as cat if I remember… of course I can talk both, but I can certainly talk cat better…"

"You said something was fate. What's fate?"

"So if I try and land it now… zigzag plotter… to the left… there we are… she'd be dead now of course, after all she's only human. But the others… hmmm…"

"What's fate? You said something was fate!"

"Amy Pond if you can't be helpful then I suggest that you remain perfectly quiet. I will explain shortly."

Amy narrowed her eyes, and glared as the Doctor pushed his flopping hair out of his own eyes that were masked with concentration. This 'surprise surprise' attitude that pervaded the Doctor's personality was very entertaining when you were in the right mood, but unfortunately Amy wasn't. It had been three weeks since she had met Van Gogh, and the fact that he had still committed suicide bothered her beyond anything. She had accepted now that his death hadn't been anything to do with her or the Doctor- he had killed himself historically before they had intervened- but the extent of his madness that led to his demise still scared her. What must it be like to lose your mind? How must it feel to be so helpless, and so trapped inside your own miserable personality?

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant. And we definitely added to his pile of good things.

As if determined to drag anyone from coherent frame of thought, the TARDIS gave a sudden, brutal lurch, and Amy overbalanced, wildly grabbing at the rail. "Doctor!"

"Just hold on! Bit of a rough landing… it always does when it lands somewhere most people think to be fictional…"

"What are you talking about? Argh!" The TARDIS lurched violently for a second time, and Amy slammed into the Doctor full force, knocking them both to the floor.

"Will you try and control yourself, Pond?"

"I can't help it! It's your TARDIS, not mine!"

"Well that's a good job isn't it, seeing as I'm the only one who can drive it!"

"Oh yes, and you're doing a fantastic job so far…"

As the two argued, the world around them stumbled and rolled, seemingly with no intention to land smoothly, if at all. Disentangling himself from Amy's long lings, and spitting several chunks of her hair from his mouth, the Doctor pulled himself to his feet and worriedly began to tug at his controls. "It wasn't as bad as this last time, a new force perhaps? But the real question is, if there's a force, is it a good one… Ah ha!" The TARDIS gave a final reel, and ground to a abrupt, startlingly mediocre halt. "I do believe we've… LANDED. We've landed! Oh Amy, this is unbelievable!"

"Is it?" From her position on the floor, Amy was less than impressed. "Only because I think I've broken something, but I think you should help me up…"

The Doctor wasn't listening. "This is my kind of place! Exactly my kind! Oh you'll love it! I love it! I missed it so much, but before now I could never seem to find it…HA!" He turned to his companion, boyish grin stretched from ear to ear. "This time I won't have to pretend to be normal! You'll have to pretend to be weird! Drive on the different side, bat for the other team!"

"I'm not turning lesbian."

"No," the Doctor was too distracted to even question what 'lesbian' meant. "Of course not."

"Shall we go then?" Amy yanked herself to her feet, and limped towards the door. "New, weird land here I come…"

"Wait!" The companion turned, her green eyes wide with impatience. "Don't you want to know what's out there?"

"Not really. I'd rather see, do, then go somewhere else."

Again, the Doctor gave no indication that he had heard her. "Have you ever heard of the book Alice in Underland?"

Amy cast her mind back, and quickly nodded. "You mean Alice in Wonderland. Yeah, I read it when I was a kid. Freaky book, very dull heroine."

"Alice in Wonderland? Who told you that rubbish? It's Alice in Underland. Well," the Doctor smiled and gave a shrug, "I suppose even literature is like Chinese Whispers. Everything changes slightly through time. Let's go, shall we?" He reached out towards the door, but his companion grabbed his arm.

"Why did you ask me about Alice in Wonderland?"

"Underland."

"Whatever. Where are we?"

The Doctor gave a frown. "Underland. I thought it was obvious."

"We're in Wonderland?"

"No. Well, yes, I suppose so. Though they call it Underland here, as I said. You may not want to get the name wrong to the residents' faces. They may get a bit upset. Some are quite… sensitive."

"You've taken me to Wonderland."

"Underland, but this time I'll let it pass. And yes. Would you like to have a look?"