A Shot to Your Heart

by pink-heronsGAA


The reassuring and welcoming air brushed through my fair cheeks as I tried to recall the things that happened to me earlier this morning. The day you declared and confessed to me your 'said-to-be' undying love. As the warm night breeze penetrated through my skin, I couldn't do anything but furiously blush at the very thought of it. How could I forget the moment? Indeed, that time, you made my heart pound in a different way than usual. And somehow at this very second, it longed and ached to hear those words, the words that made my world turn upside down, again escape from your blood red mouth.

And as I wake up the next day, as the sun flash its luminous radiance soothing my very soul and body, the exact first thing I've been searching for is your warmth, your same gentle soft voice that caresses me all throughout. But when I walked silently to school, as what I always do, searching for your image to sparkle right before me, you weren't there.

I obscurely turn my head left and right, trying to look for any sign of your presence but nothing would come. I fought back embarrassment and asked your closest friends to where you might be but they didn't know. I mustered all my courage to text you but no replies would show. Where in the world are you? Are you planning to come clean, make me hope then leave me alone in this cussed execrable world?

Still, I couldn't surrender because I wouldn't give you up. All these years, I have been loving you. My adoration for you is done in the past but still continues in the future. But I couldn't do anything that time; I was drowned by my fears, terrified and frightened that you would possibly turn down my confession and I might someday lose you. Nevertheless now, somehow, I felt completely relieved for you finally took the first shot for me and even though how hard I tried to hide it, you scored in my heart. And the next thing I anticipated to do is to answer your romantic declaration so that I could be irrevocably yours and you would be ultimately mine.

Still, first things first, I need to see you. I need to find you in this tangled maze of life. But whatever and wherever I go, rummaging through every corner of this puzzle; the school grounds and into your neighborhood, still no sign of you. What am I going to do?

I sigh as the time went ticking by, I finally graduated and had a good job, and you still didn't show yourself. I tried to move on but, ever since that day when you expressed to me your love, I couldn't.

But one day, as I was walking somewhere down the road, I unexpectedly found you. Mixed emotions automatically surfaced out of my inner being, happiness, sadness, angst and resentment, as I heard the kid standing right next to you tugged your white shirt and called you 'daddy.'

Instinctively, I turn around and ran further away even before you could notice me standing and witnessing the dreadful scene. I was carried away by my thoughts, my emotions that I accidentally bump someone and fell on my knees, creating a scene in the middle of the side road.

Hot tears stream down my cheeks as I tilted my head upwards to clearly see the person I inadvertently slammed into. Just as instantly as I gaze upwards, my hazel eyes fell onto a pair of boring crimson orbs intently gawking down at me. But even within those raging red eyes, completely dull and emotionless, I could sense a hint of concern and pity.

Feeling slightly ashamed of being the center of every passers-by attention, he leaned down until he was finally at the same level as I do. Abruptly, I wanted to hide my puffy red eyes that I used my right arm to thwart his intentions of discovering my state. I do not want people to see me in this kind of condition; I do not want his sympathy, not now.

The following days were becoming drearier for me as I sulk and buried myself deep in the warmth of my blanket, losing all my sanity and interest in going and exploring the outside world. Just as when I thought that all my hopes are gone, there was a sudden knock at my door.

My mind suddenly wanders off to space, thinking of who might be beyond those wooden walls that serves as entrance. And as I opened it, a piercing bright light covered me all throughout just as laughter and fervor comes in… friends, friends I desperately needed right now came just in the nick of time when I was about to fall in the gloomy underworld. They were the ones who taught me to act mature. They were the people who helped me open my eyes and stand up once again.

And when I finally recovered myself, obviously ready and prepared to find a new job since I was thrown away by my previous one because of that reason, I felt myself alive again. Just as the same as I was once, the lively Mikan. I tried to focus myself and set my mind, telling myself that Ruka isn't the only guy on earth. Checking my bio data and application papers once again, I hesitantly handed them to the secretary, the secretary who happens to be the lady standing right next to him in that ghastly view. Nonetheless, I tried to ignore that past, start anew and befriend her.

And when I thought that she would be the only person I knew inside the building, as I make my way through the manager's desk, my scrutiny landed once again in those familiar crimson eyes. And as I observe him from a distance, I could sense firmness and understanding in him, I am sure that he's the exact person I came across with that very same day and now, he'll be my manager.

I could say destiny might have plans for me after all, fate has unknowingly bound me to another person, the person whom I less expected to be for me. Just as when I assumed that Ruka, the guy who I first love since the first time I learned that term, the person I thought loves me too, would finally be the One… I guess I was wrong but second chances never hurt as I opened my heart once again to the guy who I learned to love over the years.

He is my rescuer, my manager and my hero. The very person I astonishingly discovered to be the one who have intent feelings for me but stayed on the sidelines as he gave way to his best friend who happened to be my 'almost' lover. I couldn't say 'no' this time when he asks for a proposal. Sure, I owe my friends for this happy ending, my happy ending. They woke me up from the appalling nightmare that befell me. They gave me hope and brought me back to the right track. Of course, I couldn't also achieve this if it weren't for him. He was the one and the very sole reason why I lost consciousness and fortuitously bump into Natsume Hyuuga's way, the guy I now called husband.

**The End**