AN: This is my first time writing a story so please be kind. Constructive criticism will be appreciated.
Disclaimer: I don't own nuthin' so please don't sue me.
Prologue
oOo
It's weird, I thought it'll be much more dramatic, but my life didn't flash before my eyes. There was no old man with a long beard welcoming me through the pearly gates. No red skinned horned people poking me with pitch forks. Not even a Zelretch-type person laughing maniacally while kaleidoscope swirled around me.
Just headlights and a loud honk after some idiot on a hoverboard bumped me into the intersection, then I open my eyes here, in this hospital with the labels just taunting me with their words and their stupid font and their stupid everything.
Sunnydale General Hospital.
Fuck me.
oOo
I think the doctors are convinced that I have retrograde amnesia and broca's aphasia (Hah! Who said watching medical dramas don't pay off. I was even specific. Ain't I smart?) or some other type of brain trauma because I did not make any sense when I woke up.
I mean I was confused at first. Then when I realized that this wasn't a dream (my entire body wouldn't hurt so much if it was) or a very realistic hallucination, I started ranting and yelling. Which was probably not a good idea as what followed shortly after was a little nap courtesy of the nice nurses that gave me those yummy pills. Can you sense the sarcasm?
At this stage I'm in complete system shut down and just staring blankly at the walls.
It's white.
Color me surprise.
Get it? Wait does that even count as a pun?
Anyway, I'm pretty sure they think I'm in shock because apparently the parents of the body I'm now squatting in died in the same car crash that put this one in a coma.
Psshhh! I'm not in shock. I'm calm. I'm not panicking. I'm cool. Totally cool. Absolutely cool. I'm so cool I'm a FUCKIN' ICEBERG!
Deep breath… just keep breathing slowly and ca-
WHHYYYY?! GODDAAMMMIIIIITTTT!
Why here?! Why not in Harry Potter?! Or Grey's Anatomy?!
At least it's not Warhammer.
And where are my GODDAMNED BOOBS?!