Let it Rain
She pulled the curtains and looked out the window, and let out a sarcastic laugh. It rained. It wasn't like she didn't like the rain. She used to love it. But now, the rain only reminded her of a certain tall, dark and handsome, blue eyed man. Her face fell.
Everything reminded her of him these days, everything.
And she couldn't escape it, she had nowhere to hide. And once again it came. The painstaking acnes in her heart, the prickle in her eyes and the burning in her throat as silent sobs took over her petit body. Using her last will of power she closed the curtains and stopped her empty sobs. She knew she had to get a grip on herself. She had cried for days. Her mourning had seemed to be endless. Her tears had seemed to be endless too. It was as if had gone a year, but it was only a few days ago she had heard the news. The news about him. About her husband.
It was bad news.
But somehow she knew that it was bad news. From the moment her phone ringed, and the moment she took it, she had a weird feeling. Empty. Like something in her died a little. The feeling only increased as she heard Lucas. Lucas telling her that he, the man she had promised and pledged her heart and life to, was gone. A car crash took his life away. Just like that. The emptiness in her heart was soon replaced with a strong pain. So strong that it had seemed to rip open her chest, grab her heart, pull it out and break it to pieces. Never had she felt so much pain.
And she new. She knew that he must have felt the exact same way as she did, when she left him. She also knew that she was part of the reason he now was gone. Nobody had told to her face that it was her fault, but deep down she knew it herself and she knew everyone else thought so too. The pain only increased when guilt took over her body too. Sending her down on her knees as she realized that it was her. It was her actions that had ripped open his chest, her words that had grabbed a hold of his heart and pulled it out, and her own hands that had broken his heart to pieces.
Never to mend again. Like hers right now.
She thought about how ironic the situation was. She had left him behind, and now it was him that had left her behind… The only difference is death sneaking a forever in between them.
She had never felt so alone. She had never felt such hatred to herself. How could she have left him behind in the first place? And how could she have stood right in front of him backstage that night, and only think of wanting to go on that stage? Oh, how much she would give just to take it all back, that it never happened, so that she could still be in his arms right now. Feel his strong arms around her, press her body to his to feel the warmth of his skin and smell the masculine scent of him. Be all lightheaded and so full of the happiness she feels everytime his lips touches hers.
"Everything is so bright" she thought. Too bright.
She used her arms to protect her eyes from the light. It felt as though it came closer. "Whoah, what kind of dream is this supposed to be? Man something must be very wrong with my head… hmm… maybe I shouldn't have drunk so much." she mumbled to herself.
She heard a light chuckle. The voice was deep and masculine. And very sexy she must admit. She tried to look in the direction it came from, and out of the light she saw earlier, emerged a tall figure. Suddenly everything got clear and the light disappeared into the background, and she gasped.
"Nathan..?" she whispered. Afraid that if she said it out loud, he would disappear like he did in the nightmares she was having for the last few nights. Silence came upon them as they both stared at each other. Tears prickled in her eyes as she looked at him. Him, the reason she had been so miserable for the last few days. The man she had pushed herself away from, and noticed too late, was the reason for her existence. For her everything. Soon, she found that she couldn't hold it in any longer. The way his eyes were looking at her, made her feel so alive, so complete again. Nervously she took a step forward, her eyes never leaving his. Her pace quickened, as did her heartbeat until she ran into his outstretched arms. Holding on to him for dear life.
"God I've missed you Hales…" he whispered into her ear, causing her heart to flatter and beat faster. This has to be real. It is real. She pressed herself against his body; grateful to feel that warm and secure feeling she felt that only he could give her.
"Hales…? Shhh, don't cry, please Hales don't cry…" he pleaded as he held her in his arms, gently wiping away her tears. She hadn't even noticed that she had been crying. Slowly she looked up from under her eyelashes. A blue ocean of feelings was shining through his eyes. She was sure that most of them could be seen in her eyes too.
There were none words spoken. Not a single one. Still they were communicating. They didn't need words to explain how they felt about each other. It was all written in their eyes; the window to your soul. A connection so strong, only true love can create.
Time seemed to stand still as the two lovers gazed into each other's eyes. She was the one to break the silence.
"I love you…" she said tearfully as a beautiful smile light up her face.
"I know. And I love you" he smiled back at her.
"Will you ever forgive me for leaving you?"
"If you can forgive me for leaving you?"
"Of course. Always…"
"…and forever." he finished, before his lips touched hers letting her body and heart let go of all the pain and just live a moment in completely bliss…
Opening her eyes, she found herself alone in their apartment. But she didn't feel alone, no, because she wasn't alone anymore.
She let herself fall down on the couch. No, it definitely felt too real for it to just be a dream. She closed her eyes tightly and it was almost as she could still feel her skin tingle from his kiss. She opened her eyes again. Her head and heart were filled to the brick with emotions and thoughts that she thought she might explode. But they weren't filled with sad and depressing thoughts. They were filled with him. Them together, their love. To release her thoughts and feelings she did the only thing she could do with the situation. A song. For their story. For their love.
"I have to let go…" she said quietly to herself. Letting go of the pen she took the paper and went to her keyboard. The keyboard he had bought her. Letting her fingers glide over the pads, she began playing. Letting go like she knew he wanted her to do, pouring all that she got into a song. Their song.
I see you, beside me
It's only a dream
A vision of what used to be
The laughter, the sorrow
Pictures in time
Fading to memories
How could I ever let you go?
Is it too late to let you know?
Chorus:
I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you
I needed, my freedom
That's what I thought
But I was a fool to believe
My heart lied, while you cried
Rivers of tears
But I was too blind to see
Everything we've been through, before
Now it means so much more
Chorus:
I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
When I turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you
You, you
It only reminds me of you…
As the last words of the song died on her lips, she found herself crying. Silent tears streamed down her face. But she wasn't crying for a loss. She was crying for founding something that she'd thought she had lost. Love.
She was standing in the graveyard. She had always hated graveyards; they were so dark and scary, only reminding her of death. But she had made it a habit to visit it every day since the funeral, and now she had found it to be quite peaceful and quiet. A tear slid down her cheek as her gaze never left the gravestone.
"Thank you Nathan… For everything, but mostly for your love. I love you, I'll love you always and forever…" She kissed her fingers and let them glide over the beautiful in carved stone.
The sky thundered, as if it replied her. She lifted her head up and closed her eyes as the rain dripped down her face. Gently wiping away her tear.
Okay... so, this is my first fic, please be nice and not slaughter me, lol. Uhm, hope you guys enjoyed it even though it's kind of bittersweet.
If you have any constructive criticism I'll be happy to recieve it and try to change.
Thanks for reading!