Late Night Confessions

Jin let out a deep sigh and buried himself in the covers of the hotel bed; he looked to his right at the alarm clock.

4:21 Am. He gazed past the clock to stare at Namjoon his roommate, snoring heavily. He chuckled as the other let out a particularly strange noise, Seokjin turned to the ceiling, his chest hurt, it was a throbbing pain that made its way to the rest of his body. This happened every time he´d look at Namjoon, this awful sickening feeling that made him want to puke, he knew what it was, and it was disgusting, they were friends, members of the same group, Brothers…

Still Jin couldn't help feeling like this, having these disgusting emotions towards his brother, toward another man.

He wondered what his members would say if he ever told them, if he told him. His heart beat rapidly at the thought of being rejected by his members, being kicked out and disowned for being abnormal.

"Would people even miss me? Would anyone even care?" he thought

Jin sat up slowly, crossed his legs and put his hands over his eyes; he stayed like that for a while. There were rare days where Jin sobbed silently in his palms, now it was almost every night since the realization of these unrequited feelings for the leader.

-"Jin hyung"

Jin froze, his sobbing stopped as he turned away from the questioning male and wiped his eyes.

-"Ah, sorry Joon did I wake you?" His voice was strained and weird

-"Are…are you ok?"

-"I´m Fine." Jin glanced at the other male; he had sat up and faced Jin´s bed a look of worry and drowsiness etched on his face

-"You sure?"

-"…" Jin sighed deeply, "Yeah, I´m sure".

Namjoon stared at him for a bit longer, suddenly getting up and sitting on the end of Jin´s bed. Before he could protest Namjoon opened his mouth to speak.

-"You´re worrying us hyung…" He stated, his gaze fixed on the cold floor, "Is…is there something wrong? We want to help you, but you need to talk to us, if you don't want to talk to me talk to -"

"No". Jin cut him off trying to ignore the husky tone of voice Namjoon had, it made shivers go down his spine. He eyed Namjoon´s face. He looked worried, his brows furrowed and his lips set in a tight line, staring at Jin.

Jin casted his gaze downwards, playing with the covers in his hands. Jin´s heart was racing, he thought "I should just get this off my chest and tell him…".

Jin opened and closed his mouth, catching Namjoon´s attention turning slightly on the bed so he faced Jin.

-"Ok…" Jins heart began to race. Namjoon looked confused, but shook his head for him to continue. Jin eyed him a bit more before he began.

-"Imagine…imagine you´re somethingthat everyone finds disgusting, something that even your parents would hate you for, and you have to keep it a secret from those who care about you. What would you do?"

Namjoon furrowed his brows at his hyung

-"Jin hyung, what are you talking about?" Jin clenched his teeth in frustration, he messed up, he should have just gone to sleep.

-"Actually, you know what, let´s just stop here. Night Namjoon".

Jin laid down and closed his eyes. The weight at the edge of his bed lingered for a while.

-"Jin hyung…you´re worrying me."

-"Namjoon, I can´t tell you."

-"Why?"

-"…" Jin bit his lip, his chest hurt, he sat up again facing Namjoon "If I tell you…" Jin paused he could tell him. Namjoon looked at him expectantly, when he felt that Jin wouldn't continue he said:

-"Hyung let´s do this: anything said now, we forget later, deal?"

Jin weighed that option in his head, he dragged his hands across his face and looked at Namjoon.

-"ok" Jin´s voice was tight and quiet he hesitantly began to speak " I think...I may not like women as much." Jin paused as he caught his breath he avoided the younger´s gaze.

Namjoon´s mind went blank, he didn't know what to say to his hyung, he never thought Jin would…

-"I´m disgusting Namjoon,"

Joon snapped out of it and paid attention to Jin, he understood now what his question meant and how hard it was for him to say this.

-"No, you're not" Namjoon assured Jin

-"I like you."

Namjoon´s eye´s widened at the sudden confession his mouth opening and closing, not finding the right words to respond to Jin, under his nervousness…he laughed, not just a little chuckle, he down right laughed in his hyung´s face.

Jin´s heart sank and his chest felt like he might have a heart attack, his eye´s blurred with unshed tears, he felt the bed shift and something warm wrapped around him, Namjoon hugged Jin whispering "Hyung, I´m sorry…I´m sorry, I didn't mean to… I´m sorry Jin" Jin resisted the urge to push him off and call him a jerk for laughing at him but Jin wrapped his arms around the leader regardless. Jin was surprised when he felt wetness at the back of his shirt.

-"Nam-"

-"Jin hyung…I can´t…"

-"I know… I didn´t expect you to" Jin´s heart dropped for what seemed like the 100th time tonight, still he smiled a bit his chest still hurt but it felt lighter somehow.

They let go of their hug, looking at each other, Jin laughed lightly at the leader´s tear filled eyes, Namjoon smiled lightly.

-"Hyung…what´s said in here stays in here."

-"I kno-"

Nothing surprised Jin more when Namjoon pressed his lips softly against his, Jin sighed as he felt the warm lips against his, he kissed back and to his surprise Namjoon tilted his head and ran his tongue over Jin´s lips trying to deepen the kiss. Jin opened his mouth hesitantly, the younger´s tongue exploring Jin´s mouth, his hands came up to the younger´s purple colored hair as Namjoon moved his arms around the others waist. Jin´s breath became labored as the kiss became increasingly heated, he reluctantly pulled back, a string of saliva connecting them.

-" I… I thought you didn´t-" Jin was trying (and failing) to catch his breath

-"I know…I mean I don´t even know myself… let´s just…" Namjoon didn´t finish his sentence and looked at his hyung

-"This feels weird hyung" Namjoon chuckled lightly "I don´t know what to feel,"

-"Let´s… let´s just go to sleep for now. And talk in the morning" Jin assured him

Namjoon smiled-"ok hyung. Good night."

Namjoon walked lazily over to his bed, as Jin looked over to the clock.

7:46 Am. Jin sighed they´d have to get up soon anyways but he closed his eyes and turned his back to Namjoon, smiling as he touched his lips, it was a one time thing for sure, but it was still something…

Namjoon´s lips tingled and his chest hurt…he should talk to Jin hyung again in the morning to clear up some things, that being, that he absolutely did not enjoy that kiss and that he definitely did not have a boner right now…god…was he 15?