Based on a Ficcy Friday prompt on Milady/Milord from humannature207.
There is a natural phenomenon that occurs about once a month. It is messy and brutal and brings out the worst in those that are around it. But it has to happen once a month, as those affected can let out their angry, irrational sides so they won't feel that way the rest of the month.
This is why the study group usually had a big argument in the study room at least once every month. Fortunately, no one compared it to any other monthly cycle in front of Jeff, Pierce or Britta. That was the only upside to this latest argument.
As usual, no one remembered how it started before long, or what they were originally fighting over. Yet every time this happened, they wound up fighting much more about their usual character faults, old feuds and disputes that were supposed to be settled in last month's fight.
And as per usual, Jeff spent more time playing on his phone than taking part in the arguing. In fact, whenever he did open his mouth, he usually said something that made the others attack each other more. As long as they were focused on bashing each other and not him – and as long as they weren't studying – Jeff could block out the noise and play his games until it was time to Winger-speech this home.
Fortunately, once Britta ranted on how the destruction of both Death Stars were war crimes, her and Troy and Abed were way too busy yelling at each other to focus on Jeff. He tuned them out for the next few minutes, until Pierce chimed in with "Well, let's at least let Luke Skywalker get a last banging from Jeff before we turn him in! Blondes in see through white robes are one of your fetishes, right Jeff?"
Okay, Jeff had to yell at him for that one – and set up another distracting debate while he was at it. "Pierce, that wasn't funny the first time, and the 200'th time wasn't any better. When are you going to get a new running gag other than calling me gay? Aren't you one-dimensional enough without being repetitive? Abed, I'm sure you have some thoughts on that subject."
Abed was supposed to dissect Pierce's one-note gags at that point. Then Pierce was supposed to use the one about Abed being a terrorist, and then things would escalate until no one remembered that Jeff was involved. But instead, Pierce spoke up before Abed and responded, "Aren't you one to talk about repetition, Jeff? You do the same things over and over more than I do! At least I do it to be funny and truthful, you just do it to be a jackass!"
Great, Pierce was having one of his bi-monthly lucid trips – and now Jeff had no choice but to indulge in it. Well, at least now Shirley or Britta would probably battle a coherent Pierce next month instead of him. "Pierce, when I do things over and over-" Jeff started before Pierce cut in again.
"Let me guess, it's some comment about how awesome and great you are, or how many fake ladies bang you, right?" Damnit….thank God sane Pierce took a lot of vacation days. "We've all heard it before, Jeff, so you're no different than me. In fact, you're no different from you, either! I mean, you still always look out for yourself, you keep letting us fight instead of helping us, and you'd rather play on your phone than do anything useful! It's as regular as ladies periods, just like our fighting every month!"
Everyone groaned over Pierce finally making the connection, yet Pierce shot back with, "Oh come on, you were all thinking it! I just wanted to save it for a special occasion! And the special occasion here is that Jeff is the same self-centered, arrogant, selfish jerk he was when he got here three years ago! If he doesn't get to change, I don't have to change my routine either! And I don't, because he's the same gay jackass he's always been from the start! So…..winning!" Pierce bragged while pointing to himself.
Jeff frowned both at Pierce – and at how he didn't have an instant answer for his accusations. Before he started thinking troubling thoughts about why he wasn't disagreeing with Pierce's analysis, he heard another voice chime in.
And it said "Take that back," in a rather formidable tone.
And once Jeff actually turned to see Annie, he saw that her face was in full on formidable mode too. It stayed that way as she repeated, "Take that back, Pierce. Now," then she quickly added "Please" in a less icy tone.
"Annie? Where's this coming from?" Pierce inquired.
Annie responded with, "From how everything you said about Jeff is a big lie. So please take it back, and let's go back to regular lying for the rest of this fight."
"How is that a lie? A-bed, you married TV in your cave! Tell her how TV told you that Jeff's still a douche!" Pierce insisted.
"There are strict rules about how lead characters like Jeff can't be allowed to change much. I admit they've been followed for the most part. But I sense a potential game-changing argument for the other side, so I'll allow this. Continue, Annie," Abed allowed.
Jeff was about to sarcastically thank Abed for his help, yet Annie spoke up first. And in this case, being beaten to the punch didn't make Jeff quite as upset – for some reason.
"Pierce, Jeff only met us because he was using us to seduce Britta. We weren't his friends back then because he never had real friends before!" Jeff wanted to object out of principle, yet the evidence he needed to make a good argument wasn't….available at the moment. "Now he has friends that he'd do anything for, even if he hates it! How is that not change to you?"
Instead of waiting for Pierce to respond, Annie actually faced Britta. "Britta, you hook up with and date losers all the time! But Jeff's the first guy you've ever….been with that you've stayed friends with at all, isn't he? And you're probably the first woman he's been with and stayed friends with too! Good friends, even! You think he could have done that if he was still an alleged douche?"
Britta had nothing to say – not even something that would get her groaned at. She lit up as if she had something, but then Annie turned to talk to Abed. "Abed, he called your…..Abed-ness a pretty awful name when we first met. Now he's the kind of guy who gets friendship hats for you and throws Pulp Fiction parties on your birthday! Even Inspector Spacetime didn't change like that until series five!"
"Then he reverted back to normal in the show's fourth worst mind wiping episode ever. But your point still stands," an impressed Abed approved.
"Right, and that point is you can't possibly say Jeff hasn't changed! He's changed as much as any of us, and we wouldn't still be friends at all if he hadn't! So to deny his growth is an insult to all of us! Almost on par with a busted yam! You heard me!" Annie backed up as if she was being shocking.
"Okay, so he's less of a douche now. Still does a lot of douchey things, though," Pierce countered.
"Yeah, but he makes up for all of them! He makes mistakes, but he always fixes them, apologizes and even admits he feels good about it once in a while!" Annie argued.
"So he's apologized for the rotten stuff he's done to you while we weren't looking?" Pierce dropped.
That sent a chill through Jeff – one of recognition, bad memories and…..something that others would be more eager to admit was regret. It was easier to admit that when he saw the same emotions going through Annie as well.
To his not good enough credit, however, Pierce seemed to recognize he went too far as he saw Annie try to regroup. And yet it didn't take too much longer until she actually did.
"Yes, we all know he's done some rotten things….and hasn't made up for all of them yet. But I don't care. Not enough to forget all of the good things he's done. And he does more and more of them every day, even if he takes his sweet time," Annie assured. "As much as he annoys us or makes us furious at him sometimes, he's always made it clear that he cares about us anyway! And if he didn't want to show it more often, he wouldn't be in therapy now, would he? That's a big change right there!"
Pierce seemed too tentative to respond and make Annie upset again. Yet she proceeded with her closing remarks anyway. "I know he's not done being a changed man yet, but I know for a fact he's already changed so much! You all do too, and all of us are better people and better friends for what he's done for us! So maybe instead of focusing on the bad stuff, we should remind him more of who he is now instead of who he was! Not keep bashing him for all the bad stuff and make him forget he's not just a douche too!" she concluded while glaring at Pierce and Britta.
"All right, all right, you win," Pierce conceded. "I'm sorry, Jeff, okay? You don't need to send your boy toy of the week to beat that out of me."
"And he's not gay, for the last time! Not that that's as bad as you think, but, he's just not, okay?" Annie recovered, stumbling over her political correctness a little less than Britta on an average day.
"He's many things, and a lot of them are bad sometimes. But the rest of it makes up a great friend and a good, changing man that we should encourage, instead of pretending he doesn't exist. And, well, he has no gay tendencies either, and my gay-dar's a lot better since high school, so….there," Annie trailed off, having run out of more stirring speeches.
Jeff was just out of words, period, as rare as that was. He zoned out for the rest of the study session, so he wasn't aware of what everyone else had to say about Annie's words. He didn't even know if they all started fighting again or not, and wasn't focused on staying out of it if they were.
For once, he was tuning out and thinking hard at the same time, thanks to Annie's words – words he had never heard anyone say about him. Technically, the sentiment itself wasn't anything new from her. Yet every time she insisted he wasn't an ass or a jagweed, he could dismiss her as a naïve child who saw things in her head. Now…..now that thought didn't enter his head at all. For some reason.
Whatever the reason was, Jeff was out of commission while trying to figure it out – or trying to just commit all of Annie's words to memory. But he lost track of time along the way, since the group adjourned for the day – while still in one piece – while Jeff was still lost in space. He snapped out of it just in time to follow them out before anyone noticed, however.
Jeff followed them for a while, then just focused on following Annie. Once she was all alone and the others were on their separate way, he finally went up to get her attention. But after he got it, he didn't quite know how to start off. "Yes, Jeff?" Annie said nonchalantly, or at least as nonchalantly as she could pretend.
Jeff couldn't even pretend to do that much, as he was actually trying to find appropriate words to say. That had to be one of those changes she was talking about. "Annie…." he started off to buy some extra seconds. When they were up, all he had was, "I've never heard….anyone say that stuff about me before. Not even you."
"Well, you should hear it once in a while instead of that crap Pierce said. That was my whole point," Annie reminded.
"You, you know it wasn't all crap though, right?" Jeff nearly literally kicked himself for asking. But his force of habit to put himself down and scare Annie off/make her come to her senses was still too strong.
"I know that, Jeff. But I know you've done too many wonderful things for me, and the rest of us, for it to matter. At least as much as you think it should," Annie repeated. "I've known you for three years, and I keep seeing you get better and better….even after you get worse sometimes. I just don't want you to forget that when people say stuff like Pierce did. You don't deserve to believe them, and as your friend, I want to help you remember that. Because I know all of who you are, and I believe in you anyway."
Although that was meant to lift Jeff's spirits, it hit him like a gut punch instead. But not in a bad way….entirely.
One of the things Jeff loved to tell himself – or at least made himself say frequently – was that Annie was too young, naïve and oblivious to have feelings for someone like him. That she saw things which weren't there and was dumbing herself down to think there was boyfriend material in Jeff – or anything worth falling for at all. After all, with all the jackass things she saw him do, and all the things he did to her, how could she be so closed off from reality anyway?
But she wasn't closed off. She knew he was a jackass a lot of the time. It actually sunk in for her – and she still cared for him. And yet she didn't sound like a clueless school girl when she defended him – in front of the group or just now. She sounded like someone who knew him, all of him, and still saw the best in him for reasons other than a naïve school girl crush. She actually believed in him for him.
Yet despite all of that, Annie didn't let him off the hook for being a douche. She admitted he was, and didn't let him off the hook for apologies he still owed her. And yet she thought that all his good parts balanced it out anyway, and it even sounded believable for the first time. Or maybe this was the first time Jeff let himself believe Annie was right – which was easier when she made a case like that. It was almost Winger-esq in a way, which was a level that was easier and easier for Annie to reach lately.
Right as these epiphanies sank in, Jeff remembered that he was staring into space again – this time in front of Annie. But he snapped to it before Annie looked more confused, and got out, "You've changed a lot too!" before she could ask him anything. Of course, that just opened up a few new questions for her, which Jeff struggled to figure out how to answer.
"If I got the main point of this, it's that I can still be flawed and be a better person anyway. Well, that can apply to you as well." Okay, starting by mentioning Annie's flaws was a major risk. But the payoff that he was scrambling to edit in his mind would be worth it – hopefully. "You're still obsessed with school and a few childish things, and people still aren't calling you irony free Annie for the reasons you think."
"But? Just so we're very clear, there's a but somewhere, right?" Annie sternly double checked.
"Oh, it's a pretty big but, all things considered. It really should diet more if it wants to keep its favorite jeans," Jeff joked/stalled while he was doing some final editing. Annie was only hiding a very tiny smile, so Jeff hurried through and got down to business.
"But the way I've been flawed and better is nothing compared to how you've done it. You're still kind of messed up, but it's not stopping you from being looser, or more fun to just be around. Or being a better friend, or being great at talking me down when I'm a dick. Or growing up in ways you and I never expected. You still have the same annoying quirks, but you still have the same cool stuff about you that you had from the beginning. Only better. Hell, even stuff that looked like flaws at the start looks….more unflawed now."
Despite the bad grammar slipup and the sentimental approach, Jeff felt like he was on a real roll and just kept going with it. "It's harder to think of you as a little girl, Annie, and I'm kind of sick of trying. I probably only tried because….it was more comforting and safer to just think of you that way. But the growing and changing Annie is more comforting than anyone I know….and I'm really sorry if I ever made you think you were anything else. Don't worry, though, the next time someone else tries that, I'll Winger-speech some sense into them right away. So, there you go," Jeff stopped before his bravery reverted back to nerves and embarrassment.
Yet all of that faded back once Annie gave him her best proud smile. "See, there you go. If Pierce saw that, he never would have complained in the first place. But I know that kind of Winger speech still isn't your thing in public. Just around me," she realized.
"Well, I guess I'm not done changing yet," Jeff responded, temporarily startled by how he admitted he wanted to change. That wasn't like him – but then again, maybe that was part of the changing too. And apparently, so was nearly losing his breath just by Annie reaching over and hugging him on her tiptoes.
"Thank you so much, Jeff," was all Annie needed to whisper before Jeff finally squeezed her back. But then she pulled back and just said, "I'll see you tomorrow, then," which made Jeff wonder why she didn't at least try to kiss his cheek. Or his lips.
And then a second straight gut punch hit Jeff, as he realized just why he wondered that.
Then again, wondering about Annie kissing him and secretly wanting it wasn't new. The new gut punching part was that he wasn't trying to dismiss it with his usual excuses.
Because he realized all of them were invalid now. Annie made them all invalid in the last several minutes. All of them.
The age, the group, her childishness, his dickishness, her Jeff worship, the likelihood that he'd hurt her, the laughable idea that she could truly like all of Jeff – none of it mattered anymore after what she'd said today. She answered all of it and more.
She showed up the group, showed he wasn't a total dick, showed she didn't blindly worship Jeff anymore, showed she knew how awful he could be – and made a case for caring about him anyway. The best case he'd ever heard, as a matter of fact.
And it made sense, because Annie was the best person Jeff knew – and her words and his own words about her just backed that up. And all of a sudden, it clued him in that for all her remaining flaws, he….cared about her anyway. And all the reasons for not caring about her even more just seemed stupid. Or at least he finally admitted they were stupid.
They were stupid because she was so much more than her young age. Because she could stand up to the objections of the group and inspire him to do the same. Because she was more aware of what a jerk Jeff could be, but was better equipped to handle him and talk him down. She was the only one who really could sometimes.
His old reasons were also dumb because he didn't want to be that much of a dick now, especially with her. So logically, being with her would get him to straight up even more. And maybe being with her might not corrupt her after all, since she'd been around him for years and had proven…..pretty incorruptible. And in those times when she wasn't, Jeff suddenly remembered how he snapped her out of it because he didn't want her to be him. So maybe doing that in a relationship too wouldn't be that hard after all.
And he really wanted to stop hurting her – and doing that by not being together with her wasn't enough anymore. But maybe he wouldn't hurt her if they were together, because Annie reminded him he did want to do better deep down. And he knew that in part because Annie already made him better.
That was because she saw all of him and could accept him anyway without being an oblivious child – just as Jeff knew all of Annie and could accept her without being scared by what that meant. Or at least he wanted to. That made every other problem he had with them being together so, so stupid.
So if Jeff was thestupid one, why would he want to stay that way now after what she showed him? He didn't want that anymore. He wanted….
"Annie, wait one more minute!" Jeff yelled before he knew what he was doing. But when he caught up to Annie, and she smiled with that somewhat flustered, curious, but trusting look on her face – which wasn't so naïve and childish to Jeff anymore – he knew what he wanted to do. It was now just a matter of how to say it.
"Look, this might sound out of the blue or something, but hear me out anyway," Jeff requested. Annie nodded her approval, so Jeff actually started thinking about what he wanted to say. Perhaps confessing everything was too soon, now that he thought about it. Yet there was one thing he could ask for as a logical, overdue baby step.
"I was just wondering, whenever you had time, if you wanted….well, if you wanted to with me," Jeff stumbled before catching up. "What I mean is, if you still wanted to, could you let me invite you to….not that you don't have a right to say no!"
Jeff cursed himself for adding that and found himself back at square one, yet a better way to finish this off wasn't coming. Eventually he finally looked at Annie again, and was taken aback by the hopeful, yet somewhat knowing, smile. "You know what I'm going to ask, don't you?" Jeff hoped, now finding a loophole out of having to ask her himself.
"I have some ideas," Annie admitted. "But I'd rather not assume anything until you say the words. Otherwise I might find out my theories were all in my head."
Both Jeff and Annie cringed at that statement for different reasons. "Crap, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that! Not in an angry, ruin the moment kind of way! I was just trying to tease you," Annie backtracked.
Yet Jeff knew it wasn't a teasing matter. Especially when he remembered he really hadn't apologized for making Annie think things were all in her head, just like Pierce said.
He needed to make things right, which he always knew deep down – but now he actually wanted to do it. He had no more excuses left not to. But first things first. He needed to ask her out and then start apologizing, and he needed to do it all with his own words. Annie used her own words to defend him, and she deserved his best words back. She deserved so, so much after that too.
"Annie, I'm not trying to tease you. Or lead you on or anything like that. I just want to ask, if you still want it…..would you consider going on a…." Jeff paused, knowing he needed to be very specific on this, so Annie would know how clear his intentions were. "Not-friendly….wait, wait, I didn't mean it like I'm not going to be friendly, that's wrong!" Jeff cursed, frustrated that he was still stumbling over himself even now.
Yet Annie giggled and smiled to encourage him to keep going. She could have been frustrated and on edge that he wouldn't just blurt this out, and he could read that part of her was. Yet she was still encouraging him and trusting him to get through this himself. And that said it all better than his sudden inability to use words – for now.
"Okay, here's what I mean for real! If you're still interested and you have time, would you want to go out for a…..more than friends dinner with me?" Jeff finally made himself ask. But he still felt he had to add on, "Or some other activity. Any more than friends kind of thing will do."
"You want that?" Annie asked in a somewhat quiet tone. Jeff saw how taken aback she was, although she probably guessed what he would ask a while ago. But he knew how shocking it was for Jeff to admit something like this – and he knew he wanted to change that. At least with Annie he did.
"I think I'm ready to admit I do. I mean, my excuses don't seem plausible anymore," he confessed. But Jeff figured he'd confessed enough for now – the rest he'd save for their date. Now he just wanted to make sure Annie would still give him the chance. Yet the growing smile was his first promising sign.
The next came when Annie pulled him down and kissed him – for the first time in over two far too long years.
Jeff found that meant more to him than how they were still in the halls and people could actually see them. But the group was long gone, and even if they weren't, Jeff conceded that Annie could make their case to them anyway. And he wanted to help her do that now.
Yet for now, he wanted to use his mouth in more insanely hot ways on this insanely hot woman. Especially since her kisses were even more insanely hot than they were two years ago. Time, and not feeling guilty about thinking her kisses were insanely hot anymore, could do that. So could her embracing him, him embracing her back, and her lips and tongue now moving against his own pretty quickly.
However, the more they kissed, the slower Annie seemed to get. It seemed that after getting the initial repressed passion out of the way, she was going into slow, romantic kiss mode now. And Jeff's latest stunned realization was that he didn't mind that. In fact, these slower kisses were so soft and gentle and loving and so Annie that Jeff became more turned on by those than the hotter kisses.
When did he start thinking stuff like that? Oh yeah – when he started changing and Annie started making him not mind as much. That made sense.
Finally Annie broke apart and Jeff had to will himself to start breathing again. Then he had to start talking again at some point, yet everything he was thinking of was still too sappy to say out loud. Besides, he'd filled his change quota enough as it was today. So he settled for joking, "So I have to use words and you don't, then? Interesting."
Annie just giggled, although she still appeared too distracted for a one-liner of her own. Instead, she just walked off and let Jeff follow her, as they seemed to silently agree that he would walk her to her car. So they were on that mind reading level already, apparently.
Yet Jeff didn't mind, as mind reading and even the comfortable silence between them – at least much more comfortable silence than the kind they'd often had over the years – was perfectly acceptable right now.
Jeff stayed in accepting, hung over from Annie kisses mode as he reached her car with her. He nearly offered to ride home with her, before remembering that if he went with her, he wouldn't want Troy and Abed anywhere near them for whatever happened next. Plus he would be leaving his Lexus at Greendale – which wasn't his first concern through all this. Interesting change again.
He put that aside when Annie briefly hugged him and kissed his cheek this time, before exchanging thank-yous and good-nights and see-you tomorrows with him as she got in her car. Jeff backed up and watched her drive off, more accepting that they didn't keep going any further. After all, there'd be time to cross those lines during and after their date…..
Wait a second. She never actually answered yes to his date question, did she?
She forgot to agree to go out with him! It was just her forgetting about it, right?
That was silly, of course she agreed. The kissing and the hot, slow making out confirmed she wanted him. But Jeff did set the precedent in how hot kissing didn't always lead to anything more.
But that wasn't the case here, right? It wasn't all in Jeff's head that Annie wanted more – although she didn't exactly say it wasn't. But she didn't do that on purpose, right? She just finally made out with Jeff Winger, so she was in no condition to teach him a lesson and leave him hanging until she said yes!
At least the old Annie wouldn't have been. But this was the growing and changing Annie he admitted he wanted, so anything was possible. Except that. Right?
Jeff now had to admit that some things probably never changed after all. They just got repeated and reworked by different people sometimes.
Since he was both kind of proud and slightly annoyed by Annie showing him like this, it was probably another sign he was changing. Whether he would be more annoyed than proud after 24 or 48 hours of waiting for a "yes" was another matter, of course.
But 40 hours of tortured waiting split the difference just fine. Somewhat.