Under My Skin
by StarryEyedParadise

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from the TV series The 100. All I own are my Bellamy Blake feels and my original characters with Bellamy Blake feels as well. Everything I write is purely for my own enjoyment.

A/N: Let it be noted, that I am a diehard Bellarke shipper. This is just a little story I came up with because I am rubbish at canon. So here is my BellamyxOC story with some BellamyxClarke as well. Not a traditional romance but one I think is more realistic. Bellarke in the way I think it would happen, sadly, and BellamyxOC because reasons. All of this is set after Season 2 episode 3. Everything before is canon and after is AU. Thanks!

Chapter One: The Boy With the Brown Eyes

Underneath the skin there's a human

Buried deep within there's a human

And despite everything I'm still human
-Human by Daughter

Run. Breathe. Move. Fight.

He's saying it over and over as if it actually means something, as he fights to keep his legs moving, fights to get as far away from those monsters as possible. But even now as the adrenaline pumps through his veins, he can feel his feet slowing, his body weakening and there is nothing he can fucking do about it. He's no longer at a fast-paced run, a jog even. He's staggering through the forest like an idiot and before long he won't be moving at all.

He leans up against the tree, catching his breath, his shoulder stinging because he went and got himself beat up again and now he's in pain.

He tries to tell himself that it's not his fault but even he isn't that stupid in his delirious state. He glances over his shoulder once before looking down where his hand are shaking against his torso. His fingers are still covered in blood, of course they are, but it's not slowing down. It's not stopping, he realizes and that pisses him off. The hot and sticky liquid is still pulsing out of him and it suddenly very obvious why he can't move his fucking feet.

Clarke.

He remembers that if Clarke were here, she'd know what to do but she isn't. Clarke's not here because she got herself locked up and no matter what he does he can't fucking find her and that pisses him off more than the bleeding on his side.

He's the one who is supposed to be dead, not her, he's thinking and trying to ignore that it's bothering him more than it should. But she's not dead, or maybe she is and he doesn't know which is truth and which is a lie he is telling himself to feel better. But she can't be dead, he knows she can't. Clarke is a fighter and if it were her here with a slice cut out of her skin thanks to a Reaper blade, she as sure as hell would know what to do.

But she isn't.

And he's alone for the first time in God knows how long and he hates it.

He needs her and he hates that too.

He wants to sleep. It sounds inviting, closing his eyes just for a moment and then he can get up and figure out where the hell he is and in which direction to run. He can't breathe though and the dull pain in his side is no longer dull, it fucking hurts and he is thinking about who would actually miss him if he just gave up.

No one would know, he thinks.

But he can't stop, he reminds himself. He can't stop because despite the fact that the Ark had come down all high-and-mighty and stripped him of his leadership, despite that, he still has people out there. His people are waiting for him or maybe they aren't but he tells himself they are because he can't afford to think of the alternative. Clarke is waiting too, he remembers. And she needs him, she said that once.

And he needs her and the more he reminds himself of that he thinks he can force himself to stand up. But it's not working and he just feels himself falling further and further until he's lying on his stomach, trying to crawl and it's still getting him nowhere.

And he's giving up. He can feel it and he hates it and he calls himself a coward again and again until he thinks he might cry. He's alone he reminds himself, no one would see. But he refuses so he doesn't and he just lies there until he realizes he's no longer alone. Someone is nearby and he can see their boots in the mud and their careful steps through the branches and he knows it's a grounder.

And he's filled with rage. Such uninhibited rage that he moves his hand from his side, holding together the gash that was once his flesh and now it isn't. He moves his hand to where his knife is because he ran out of ammo a few miles back and now he lunges for it. Or he thinks he does when instead he is flopping around like a fish on land and suddenly all he can see is black.

And he's pretty sure he's dead.

She contemplates walking passed him. No, she decides to, she does and she doesn't look back until she hears his voice. No, it's not his voice that stops her but the words, or the word rather, that's falling from his lips.

Clarke.

He's saying it so desperately that she is stopping in her tracks and she doesn't know why. It's a heartbreaking sound and she's not sure what it means, only that it means she can't walk away now and that bothers her.

She's looking down at him and she knows she should keep walking.

He's from the Sky Clan, she reminds herself and she watches his hand fall onto her foot and the knife fall to the ground. She reminds herself again when she notices the blood on his hands and once more when she thinks she might touch him, that she should keep on walking.

But she does touch him and it's interesting the way his eyes flutter only once, letting her glimpse his brown eyes before he seems to pass out completely. And she knows she can't walk away now, at least not without him and she does something she shouldn't.

She takes him with her.

He's heavy and it's obvious right away that he's a fighter. She's used to heavy men, fighting them, carrying them and dragging them. Or maybe not carrying them exactly because she certainly isn't carrying the boy with the brown eyes when she arrives at the bunker and it takes just about everything out of her to get him down there.

She's huffing, trying to catch her breath as she stares down at him and her hands are shaking as she tries to light the candles. It's dim but it's enough as she inspects the cut on his torso. She apologizes but doesn't know why as she cuts his shirt off and tosses it aside and she sees the cut is worse than she thought. It's a gash.

She doesn't know why he's not dead already.

He's a fighter, she reminds herself and she gets to work.

It's a long time before she realizes it's not the blood loss he's dying from it's the poison. She's mad too because she should have seen it sooner. She's seen it a hundred times before. The blade had been laced with a particularly nasty Reaper poison. She knew where the poisons came from and Reapers weren't smart enough to make it on their own. But it was deadly and it was no wonder he was dying.

The boy with the brown eyes is lucky she came across him and not Sol. Sol would have left him for dead. No, Sol would have stuck his knife in him just to be sure he was dead. And then he would have kept on walking.

But it's her who found him and she can't stop thinking about his brown eyes and the way he says Clarke and she knows if Sol finds her here that she is going to be in worse shit than this guys blood on her hands. But she helps him anyways, knowing exactly what will save him or at least what she thinks will save him if it hasn't been too long already.

And it hasn't been.

And he lives. Barely.

He's breathing normally and that's a good thing because she wasn't looking forward to hauling his dead body back out of the bunker. She's already tired and so she's turning to leave him even though he may need her, but he doesn't.

And so she's in the shower, draining what warm water she can from the system Sol built her and it feels good on her skin. She wishes she had soap but she doesn't and she can't complain. She hums to the music playing, knowing the juice left in the battery doesn't have long left but it calms her so she doesn't think about the silence waiting when it finally runs out. Just like she doesn't think about the cold water and the way it takes her breath away now that the warm water is all gone.

And so she turns it off and stands there. Standing there is taking a while because she's trying not to think about Axil and she's trying not to picture him or remember the way that he died.

And how it was the Sky People's fault.

But she doesn't want to think about that because she might do something she would regret and so she stops and she stands there and the song is on repeat and she smiles.

But her smile doesn't last long because she pulls back the curtain and there is suddenly a knife against her throat, her knife to be specific, and the boy with the brown eyes is shoving her against the wall with a furious expression.

She's not glancing at the knife, she's glancing at his eyes and then the bandage on his side and then his eyes again and she wants to tell him he's an idiot for getting up but she doesn't. She just waits because she can see he's going to black out if he stands there much longer and he's clearly got something to say so she waits for that too.

"Where are they?" he whispers as menacingly as he can but it's tired, like his eyes, and he's holding himself up with his hand against the wall next to her head. She sighs because he's only making it worse for himself. But then something happens and he's even angrier as he slams the wall, this time with force and she knows she flinches.

He's says it again, where are they and she still doesn't say anything, only continues to wait. The knife is tightening on her throat and now she can't swallow. So she takes it from him and it's easy to reverse their positions because he doesn't expect it and he's weak and now the knife is against his throat and he's the one who flinches.

And she smiles when she sees it.

And then she drags him back to the cot and he fights her but not hard enough because she wins. And he's lying there, shouting questions but she just pretends she can't understand him even though she can. And he knows that because he says:

"I know you can understand me, and I know you know where my people are!" And he's right and he's wrong. She understands him but she has no idea where his people are. "One of your men lead my people into a trap."

Not her man.

"He sent us to die by the hands of the Reapers. Your people wanted us to die."

Not her people.

She turns away because she's tired of listening to his accusations but he grabs her wrist. His hand is large and his grip is hard and she turns quickly with the knife in her hand and this time he doesn't flinch. And they just stare at each other.

The song stops.

The battery is dead.

And now there is only silence.

"Please," he tries and he means it which surprises her and she suddenly wishes she knew what he was talking about so she could answer him but she doesn't know so she can't answer him and there is still silence and she can see it pisses him off.

This time he doesn't stop her and so she walks away. But she comes back with a needle because he's ripped his stitches and she's grumbling. He can't understand her words but he understands her expression when she finishes stitching him back up and so he doesn't try to get up again. But he looks away, realizing for the first time since he ambushed her in the shower that she's naked and she is finally free to put on some clothes.

He doesn't mention it.

It's dark when she remembers Sol. And she debates leaving the boy with the brown eyes, knowing he'll try to escape. But she has to go or Sol will come looking for her and that she can't have so she reluctantly ties him up and he fights her but she doesn't care because it's for his own good.

And then she's gone with her conscience weighing heavy on her as she steps out into the night, her steps quiet as she runs. She runs fast because she's late. But her movements are quick and her feet are light and she doesn't make a sound until she finds the clearing they agreed on.

And he's already there. Frowning.

But that's nothing new, she reminds herself and when he spots her, she thinks maybe she sees a flash of relief but she wouldn't bet on it.

"Where have you been?" he whispers quickly and the language is familiar. It's her own.

"I lost track of time," she lies and he knows she's lying because they know each other too well.

"We need to go home, it isn't safe here. There are more Sky People to the east and these ones have more guns, bigger guns. We can't get caught up in their fight with the Trigeda."

"More Sky People?" she asks but she knows there are more because she saw them falling from the skies two weeks earlier. He only nods. But she can't go. Not just because of the Sky Man in her bunker or his brown eyes. But because she isn't welcome there.

"They'll never let me through the gates," she reminds him and if possible his frown deepens. "I'm banished, Sol."

"Temporarily banished isn't banished, Lux. If you just stopped whining and came home to do your duty like the rest of us-"

"Do my duty!" she's scoffing.

"You were going to marry Axil. I don't see the difference?" he reminds her and she can't help the way her hand is flying up across his face. But she's not sorry.

"Don't you dare," she whispers and her voice is stuck in her throat because she wants to shout, but she can't because she doesn't know who might be listening. She's more disciplined than that, she reminds herself. So she stops herself from losing her temper and she lets loose the hold on the knife on her belt.

"I can't leave you here."

"I'll be fine, like always. And it's not like I'll be sitting around idly. Mom gave me work to do while I was out here."

Sol watches her for a while like he is waiting for her to tell him what's really going on but she knows he will be waiting a long time because she's not telling him about the boy with the brown eyes in her bunker or that she saved his life.

Because it's Sol and he wouldn't understand.

"My battery is dead again," she changes the subject, reaching in her pack and pulling out the depleted source of her music and he very briefly smiles. She likes the way his mouth curves because it reminds her of days long passed. Days she'll never get back no matter how many lies she tells herself.

"It would last longer if you found a new favorite song," he suggested but she just shrugs and hands him the useless piece of crap in her hand. Only Sol can fix it for her. She wouldn't even know where to start. He tells her that he'll bring her a new one in a few weeks and she smiles.

"Look after Aylin, okay?" she asks then because she doesn't know what else to say and he nods. He wants to hug her but she doesn't want his touch. So she turns and leaves him there and she goes in the exact opposite direction of the bunker in case he follows her.

He doesn't.

And she goes back to the boy with the brown eyes and knows he'll be frowning when she returns.