One Left to Care For
A girl I've known a long time…a chilhood friend…I had to return to her…
I wanted to.
She was the most important girl to me, and I abandoned her…I promised I'd take care of her…
Her name was Kairi.
Another girl from my memories, memories picked out of a box and embedded into my heart…
This girl had lied to me, deceived me, duped me…
But she didn't have a choice. She couldn't defend herself, talk herself out of it. She was forced to change my memories.
Every memory seemed true, like they all happened. That girl gave them to me.
And her name was Naminé.
I always never was the kind of person to take sides, but now I feel like I've been doing that the whole time.
When Naminé gave me that choice, it was like telling me "Stay with Naminé or stay with Kairi."
Kairi was my choice. The choice I took many, many moments into critical thinking.
It should've paid off, but I felt that stab of guilt when I told Naminé I wanted my old memories back.
And she turned to me, smiling…
…but deep down, I knew she was breaking apart…
That was only because she didn't want me to see her cry, and I knew that. Her smile was sincere, but it wasn't... well, serene.
I knew she wanted me to remember her. And I wanted to.
I really did…
Even when she told me the memories were fake, I still kept them as if they were as real as the card worlds I've visited in that castle.
I put my blood, sweat and tears in keeping Naminé safe.
So before our farewell, I promised her that we'd be real friends, starting over, with no lies. She told me I'd forget, but I wasn't willing to listen.
It was a promise I was for sure to keep.
But when I woke up as if it were a normal day, that entry said "Thank Naminé." Dumbfounded, I thought to myself, "Who is that?"
Man, was I stupid! I couldn't remember not one thing about her again. And even as I found her at the near end of my second journey…
I saw her, and Kairi thanked her. Naminé turned to me and said, "We meet again, like we promised."
But I did not remember.
(And deep inside, she was also referring to Roxas. But she wanted me to at least try to remember, right?) I didn't thank her for "whatever it was she did," either.
But I remember now. Recently, she told me everything that happened. My reaction: struck dumber than a post.
Because now I felt the guilt again: for forgetting her, leaving her, not remembering our promises.
And the way I make it up to her: I kiss her.
I wanted to, needed to. Before I went to sleep I wanted to. I had that firey urge to grip her shoulders and plant a quick kiss before I stepped into that pod…And even when I found her again, I wanted to do the same thing, but my hand slipped right through her…my chances seemed so distant…maybe because Kairi was there.
It's complicated to say why I love Kairi. It's hard to explain my feelings in any way, shape or form—but the same with Naminé; my feeling are the same for her as well, a mirror image…
Kairi was clear, but Naminé was clearer. Besides, Riku did a much better job at protecting Kairi than I did.
I left Naminé surprized after I stopped kissing her, and told her simply, "That was for screwing up." It took her a minute to comprehend my out-of-breath and vague words, but she seemed to understand as she whispered shyly, "I forgive you."
So with another good, long kiss I gave her, I self-noted this promise in my heart: my cares will be focused for Naminé, who smiles and thanks me for everything.
I love SoraXNamine and this is my first oneshot with them. Hope you enjoyed it.