Seven reasons why you don't even touch Kakashi's books

If you burned his books, he would burn you.

If you got them wet, he would cry.

If you ripped a page out, he'd rip your arm off.

If you got them dirty, he'd bury you alive.

If you lost one, he'd give you a lawsuit.

If you stole one, he'd make you listen to stolen Liza Minelli songs while eating stolen cans of Spam…

If you tell him one more time to stop reading those perverted books in public he would force you to grovel at his feet and read them all in every language until you actually like them… There's more he would do… but it's too scary!

Episode one: The burned books!

Cho, Kakashi's girlfriend was once again dragging him through the streets of Konoha's shopping district looking for the perfect things to buy. Kakashi however was trying to drag her the other way to the bookstore. For Icha-Icha Paradise Greatest moments memoir book was on sale, and he sure had to get one fast, or they'd be all gone. Kakashi finally succeeded in replacing himself with a clone and running to the bookstore just in time to get the last copy! However, having a girlfriend, who is a highly skilled kunoichi, means she isn't a pushover. Poor Kakashi, he wouldn't have the feeling in his left ear for a week, but hey! It was worth it! He finally had THE greatest book ever, the final addition to his priceless collection. Cho was angry but she did her best to let him be happy before she would force him to put the book away before they had a romantic dinner.

However, Kakashi did not put the book away, and he was being very, very elusive. So she had to live with her ruined romantic dinner and his persistent giggles. Which of course were cute in her opinion but he was being very, very rude. To top it all off he didn't even go to sleep, he stayed up all night reading. She was very, very angry by morning. Yet again, poor Kakashi! He might never have children, but Cho might not either. What NOW? Kakashi had to go to work, he brought his new book with him, and left the rest at the house… Evil Cho got an idea! If Kakashi didn't have time to spend with her and Good Cho, goodbye BOOKS! Evil Cho laughed evilly as she watched orange devour orange. But then suddenly! Suddenly! Kakashi walked through the front door just in time to see Cho burning his PREACIOUS BOOKS! On the coffee table. And woe is the coffee table, AND WOE, WOE is Poor Kakashi. But as the list above states, so, he set Cho's hair on fire! Mess with THE books and you are gonna get burned! …

Episode two: The wet books!

Kakashi walked along the riverside with his new and unburned BEAUTIful orange books in his bag and his THE greatest book ever! Was in his hand, it was a happy day! However! Gai was thinking of ways to get even with Kakashi for being THE coolest guy in all of Konoha! Last week was rock paper scissors and he STILL lost! Poor GAI! HAPPY Kakashi! Whatever…, Never the mind, Gai had an idea to best Kakashi by not! NOT! Besting Kakashi's orange books. He would get them wet! Then who's the dryest COOLEST guy in all of Konoha, NOW? BUTKAKASHIWASNOTSTUPID! OH NO! Gai was, well, umm, what we talking 'bout?

Gai approached Kakashi stealthily and got ready to pounce! Then SUDDENLY! OH, YES! SUDDENLY! Gai. Had. A. Different. Idea! A DYNAMIC ENTRY WAS IN DUE!

WARNING THE NEXT PART IS VERY! VERY! SAD! WE ARE WARNING YOU OF TEARS! TEARS PEOPLE! IT'S OKAY TO CRY! LET YOUR SAD OUT AND THE HAPPY IN!

Gai yelled dynamic entry! OH! YEAAAH! But he hit Kakashi! YES! Poor Kakashi, IN. THE. HEAD! Kakashi went flying! YES! OH, YES! FLYING! Into the water! GASP! DOUBLETAKE! HUH! GASP! OH, NO! The orange books, the BEAUTIFUL orange books, they were all Wet! Around the corner came the two LOOOOVVVVERS! Kureani! KAKACHOU! AND ASUMA! KAKACHOUOW! They were taking a leisurely stroll, yes, a stroll! When they saw Kakashi siting in the river, all wet! AND OH! NO! He was about to cry! His BEAUTIFUL Orange books were all wet! They no longer screamed " I AM ORANGE, I AM BEAUTIFUUUL! LOOOOOVE ME!" NO! OH! OH! NO! Tears of SADNESS! SADNESS! Were rolling down his face! So SAD! Now you know, that if you get Kakashi's books wet, he will cry! SAD SAD POOR POOR KAKASHI! …