Bart walked into the house down the block on Evergreen Terrace, holding a six-pack of beer. As he looked around, he realized he only knew a handful of the party guests. There was Rex, who was in Lisa's grade, as well as Professor Frink's son, but he had never spoken to either of them before and probably never would.
Bart set the six-pack down on the kitchen counter and went into the living room to start dancing to the dubstep anthem that was blaring. As soon as he struck a pose, a curvaceous girl about his age with long jet black hair and a mischievous smile began grinding on him.
"Jessica Lovejoy," Bart breathed into her low-cut pink dress. "I haven't seen you since elementary school."
"Yeah, I go to Shelbyville Prep now," she said. "But tonight I'm off campus for the first time in months and it's one of the only times of year I can get down. Want some Jager?" Jessica handed Bart a red cup.
"Gee, thanks, Jess," said Bart. Jessica chuckled, and slipped her tongue down his mouth. Bart felt through his pockets, and his heart broke when he realized nothing in his pocket was made of latex.
"Let's go upstairs," said Jessica, and took Bart's hand as they left the dance floor.
"Uh, you lead the way," said Bart. Wow, only sixteen and this is the third girl I'll have done it with, he thought. Hopefully I won't embarrass myself this time like I did with Mary Spuckler.
As Bart and Jessica headed upstairs, they heard the doorbell ring below. A bunch of partygoers screamed and tried to hide.
"Oh no, it's Dad," said Jessica. "Quick, you've got to leave."
"But you go back to school tomorrow, don't you? I might never see you again," said Bart, putting a comforting hand on Jessica's shoulder.
Reverend Timothy and Helen Lovejoy walked into the house angrily, sighting Bart touching their daughter. "Simpson! What are you doing, defiling my innocent daughter like this?" asked the Reverend.
"Uh, I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! You can't prove anything!" yelled Bart, as Reverend Lovejoy began strangling him in a way that made Homer's strangulations seem like gentle neck hugs.