AN: All aboard the Kylo Ren trash train. choo-choo!
PART I: FIXATION
I: captured
"I burn, I freeze; I am never warm. I am rigid; I forgot softness because it did not serve me."
― Catherynne M. Valente, "Deathless"
This was a terrible idea.
In fact, this was one of the worst ideas she had ever had. Under normal circumstances she never would have taken such a risk or placed herself in so much danger. But it was one fusion core—one tiny, so very easy to steal—fusion core and the promised pay for it was so good she couldn't simply refuse such a job. If she managed to pull it off she could disappear for at least a few months and not worry about funds at all.
One fusion core. Just one. It was such an easy job right until she felt a sudden and vicious knock to the back of her skull from a blaster rifle. She flipped backwards clumsily and quickly sprung forward, sinking her dagger into to a weak spot in the Stormtrooper's neck armor. The figure crumpled with a loud gurgle of blood, but dark spots were still dancing in her eyes from the sheer momentum of his attack.
She turned to hurriedly grab the damn fusion core when she heard footsteps. They pounded loudly against the shiny black marble floor, alerting her to the fact that there was most definitely more than one person coming for her. Cursing loudly under her breath, she grabbed her gear, knowing that the whole outpost was going to be in lockdown in a matter of minutes.
She was such an idiot. She should have smelled a fish from a mile away. She should have known better than to try and rob an outpost that belonged to the First Order. She had prided herself for so long for not being greedy, only doing jobs in order to feed herself and survive. Because she was always that above all else; a survivor. And she was not going to make this easy on them.
The back of her skull throbbed painfully as she dashed down different corridors, avoiding the sound of too many soldiers heading in her direction from all sides. She studied this outpost's layout for over a week, she knew all the exits, all the routes she could take to escape, but it was becoming painfully clear that the soldiers were aware of her knowledge and were trying to cut her off.
Rounding the corner, she gasped when she felt a blaster shot sail over her head and collide with a wall opposite to her. She pushed herself back, barely catching a glimpse of at least ten Stormtroopers blocking her exit; their weapons ready to tear her apart.
She breathed deeply a few times under her mask, her eyes flickering to the corridor she just ran from, knowing very well that soldiers were about to flood that exit as well. The only way to flee would be to kill the soldiers blocking her path before any more could get there. She gripped an old phaser tighter in one hand and a still bloodied dagger in another.
It won't be the first time, she thought viciously, taking another unnecessary breath. She forced her muscles to relax before she raced from her hiding spot, ignoring the command for her to stand down.
She twisted low, sliding on her knees as she took down two closest Stormtroopers with her phaser. Soldiers scattered around the cramped corridor, aiming their weapons at her as she leaps onto another uniformed soldier, driving her dagger into his throat, pulling his body to her as a shield. Multiple shots hit the now dead soldier, allowing her a precious moment to adjust and survey the situation.
Three dead. Four still had weapons fixed on her. The other three either ran off to get backup or were planning some sort of sneak attack.
Dropping her dead shield to the ground, she used the tight space to launch herself at her next target, the tightly clenched dagger in her hand ready to find the nearest weak spot in his armor. Her target staggered backwards, and she veered sharply to the left to avoid multiple shots fired in her direction. However the tightly packed corridor made her misjudge her distance and she hissed under her breath when one of the shots hit her directly in the shoulder. Even though her high fiber suit managed to reduce the damage she could still feel the burned flesh, and the freshly gushing blood that was slowly starting to roll down her arm.
A harsh snarl escaped her lips and she sprung towards her assailant, blood flowing out of her injured shoulder as she locked her arm around the soldier's neck. Her blood coated hands slipped on the shiny surface of his armor and she slid her dagger against his throat, stilling the man and giving her a moment to push her body behind his. The other soldiers' hesitated firing for a second and just as she was beginning to think that she held higher ground, a cold voice reverberated through the corridor.
"Stand down, thief," a male voice commanded. She caught a glimpse of a dark uniform, strawberry blonde hair and cold eyes before she kicked her hostage harshly in the shin, bringing him to his knees with a pained grunt.
"Take another step, and I slit his throat right here," she spoke lowly, her mask muffling her words a little. She took note of at least a dozen Stormtroopers behind the man and her heartbeat spiked. Her odds didn't look too good, especially not while she could feel the harsh and unforgiving burn in her shoulder. She needed to get the hell out of here and attend to her wound.
The man stopped at her words, raising his hand to halt his soldiers as well. He gave her a slow, cold smile as he observed her for a long moment, not saying a word. She tightened her arm around her hostage's neck when she felt him trying to move, pressing her dagger tighter against his neck. She slowly twisted her other hand to point the phaser at the man before her.
He observed her actions with calmness that made her skin crawl and they stood in silence for another moment before he finally addressed her again.
"The infamous Wraith," he spoke coolly. "I wish I could say that it's a pleasure to finally make you acquaintance, but it is truly not."
Normally she might have scoffed at his comment, but seeing the growing number of this man's soldiers surrounding her made her painfully focused on figuring out an escape route—and quickly.
After receiving no outward reaction from her, the man continued, "I am General Hux of the First Order. And I can assure you that your decision to try and steal from this outpost will prove to be the biggest mistake of your wretched life, thief."
Hux raised his hand again and every blaster rifle in sight was suddenly aimed straight at her. In response, she pressed her dagger even deeper into her hostage's neck, causing him to squirm when droplets of blood rolled down his stark white armor.
"Don't test me," she replied to his silent command and her stomach twisted when she saw that chilling smile bloom across his face again.
"Do you truly believe I care for one soldier? When I have a dozens more to replace him? If he managed to get overpowered so easily by you, he is useless to me. Kill him right now if you wish. You'll be doing me a favor."
She heard no lie in his voice. For him, killing the soldier now at her mercy would be easy. Too easy.
She knew then what she had to do. Inhaling quietly, she let her eyes flicker around all the Stormtroopers who were blocking off her exits—a white, impenetrable wall in every direction she looked.
"I'm sorry," she muttered quietly to her hostage and she felt him twitch in terror, but it was already too late.
She made her heart pure steel and drove the dagger deep into his throat. She heard his sharp inhale—the sound of pure terror and pain—but she was already wrenching the dagger out of his throat and diving for her smoke bombs as gravity dug its nails into the Stormtooper's dead body and pulled him down.
There were three loud pops, smoke filled the space all around her but she was already running, using the explosion of chaos around her as a means of distraction. She dove around Stormtroopers who were firing their blasters all around her at Hux's sharp command of, "Don't let her escape!"
Her eyes stung from the smoke as she leapt towards the north exit. She paid a lot of money for those smoke bombs but they were truly invaluable. Aiming her phaser at a Stormtrooper that suddenly appeared in her path, she sidestepped another trooper and shot him in the chest, watching as he fell backwards. She knew smoke would last at least another minute—especially such a concentrated quantity of it—when she felt something heavy smash into her side, tackling her to the ground.
It was one of the Stormtroopers; a large, heavily armored soldier who viciously punched her in the ribs making her gasp in pain. She pressed her phaser against his head but before she could fire, she felt his iron like grip seize her wrist, smashing it brutally against the ground. Her numb fingers dropped the phaser, but she grit her teeth together and using her injured arm, shoved the dagger still in her hand straight into his waist.
It wasn't a well-aimed attack; she knew the moment the moment the momentum of her attack got slowed down by the armor. She was in too much pain to aim for one of the weak spots in the armor, but it still went deep enough for her attacker to grunt in pain and jerk away from her. She twisted desperately—in hopes of giving herself some space to kick him away—when he clamped his hand around her throat and raising his large fist drove it straight into her injured shoulder.
She let out a short, sharp wail of pain and the Stormtrooper on top of her used her momentarily weakness to jerk up her head and smash it against the cold marble floor. Stars danced in her vision, everything blurring together as she clung to consciousness, shaking her head repeatedly at the sick feeling in the back of her throat.
"I have her."
She felt herself being dragged forward by the back of her neck, but she could no longer hear blaster shots or see the smoke that seemed to have finally cleared up. Her body fell forward when her attacker kicked her forward, her hands breaking her fall before her face smashed against the cool floor beneath.
"Good job FK-2147, it's good to know someone can do their job right," she heard Hux comment from before her. She blinked frantically, trying to clear her blurred vision before she looked up at him. He was looking down at her distastefully, two Stormtroopers flanking him on both sides, their blasters aimed at her. He dipped his head at her assailant and she was suddenly lurched up and forced on her knees before Hux. He stared at her for a moment, his expression as cold as ice.
"I wonder…" he murmured thoughtfully.
There was another moment of silence and she could vaguely hear the sound of other Stormtroopers helping their injured comrades.
"Remove her mask."
She jolted sharply at those words. Her face was one of the few things she hid very carefully from the world. In her line of business, anonymity was the most priced possession you could have—the fewer people knew your face, the safer you were. If Hux saw her face, he would know exactly who he was hunting for. Even if she escaped, he would know exactly what she looked like and she would be left with very few safe places to hide.
The Stormtrooper who was holding her down, pressed his fingers into her injury again, causing a harsh hiss escape her lips. He worked his fingers against her mask, her dark hair escaping from where it was bound at the back of her head with every knot the Stormtrooper undid.
All of a sudden she could feel it again.
She could feel it start bubbling inside her yet again. A familiar feeling of rage she always worked so hard to suppress whenever she was on a job. The hot, bubbling heat that started to fill every crevice of her body. She wanted to move, she wanted to break that soldier's hand into little pieces, she wanted to carve that slight, smug smile on Hux's face clean off. But she couldn't. She couldn't, because her ears were still ringing, because her shoulder was bleeding with FK-2147's fingers still pressing harshly against her wound.
Her time was up. She felt the last knot biding her mask to her face come loose and tumble down on the ground with a soft thud. Fresh air kissed her hot and damp skin and she lifted her gaze to stare at Hux.
Let him see her. Let him see all of her. Consequences be damned. She was really starting to like the idea of him knowing her face so she could cherish the look of fear on his face when she eventually slit his throat.
He appraised her with a slow, critical eye. Unlike his Stormtroopers, Hux didn't give her much of a reaction. She could feel the troopers surprise surround her however. She was much younger than many believed her to be. With reputation as bloody as hers many didn't even believe her to be a woman. Which—while insulting—was fine by her as long as it kept people from finding her.
Hux made a slow, thoughtful sound at the back of his throat as he observed her for another moment. "Nothing too impressive after all," he finally concluded.
She held her anger on an even tighter leash when he looked away dismissively and started walking around her in a slow circle, his boots clicking loudly with every step he took. She stared straight ahead, her body unmoving because she knew that following him with her eyes would show fear. Would show that she was afraid to turn her back to him and she was not. Not with everything she had to go through in order to survive.
There were more dangerous monsters out there to fear.
"Why did you try to steal from the First Order?" he asked eventually, stopping before her. She didn't answer him. She refused.
Hux sighed impatiently and inclined his head once. One of his Stormtroopers stepped forward and next second her head snapped to one side, a loud smack reverberating through the hanger. Her flesh stung, and she could already feel the swelling start.
Licking her bloodied lips, she looked up the cold-faced General before her. She spat blood on the floor before his impeccable boots and gave him a tight grin.
"What can I say, I loved the thought of making you all look like idiots," she grunted disdainfully. That was a lie. She wouldn't have cared who they were one way or another. It was a job with good earning potential, that's all. But the pooling anger deep inside her worked her tongue and spilled her words before she could stop them. And that was dangerous. Bad things always happened when she was this angry.
Hux looked irritated by her flippant remark, his eyes becoming small, terrifying slits. But then his face smoothed over, like he simply wiped away his irritation. He stepped closer to her, glancing at his gloved hands with slight boredom. "Tell me, Wraith. Have you considered how exactly we caught you?"
She only stared at him in silence. There was definitely something wrong with this situation. The outpost was suppose to have been empty apart from few guard droids and a few Stormtroopers who were unlucky enough to be assigned this post. She should have been able to slip in and out without them having any idea she had been there until it was already too late. That's why she was caught off guard. But she knew she hadn't made mistakes. She studied this outpost for two long weeks and her plan was laid out to perfection.
Hux appeared almost amused by her blank stare and continued talking as if he hadn't stopped, "We have heard of you of course. The First Order makes it its business to keep track of people who might be potentially useful, or dangerous."
He gave her a faint, cool smile as he continued, "So imagine my surprise when we received a rather informative message that the Wraith has set her eyes on one of our outposts. You do not keep very good company, thief, they seemed most eager to betray you."
She shouldn't have been surprised. Her list of enemies was almost as long as her list of victims. A better question was who exactly was the person that gave her up. Very few people knew about this job. But no matter how much she tried, she couldn't stop the treacherous knife of betrayal slipping deeply into what was left of her heart. It only fuelled the burning anger in her gut and she knew that her emotions were plain on her face when Hux's lips twitched up in mockery of a real smile.
"I admit that I have considered long and hard what exactly we should do with you," he spoke smoothly and leaned over her, carefully gaging her reaction. "However you have proven to be, well, not what I expected."
She blinked once, trying to decide what exactly he was getting at. He gave her a slow, toothless smile that made some dark, familiar memory stir deep in her mind.
"First Order does not make exception for anyone," he told her pleasantly as he leaned back, and suddenly the smile on his face disappeared in a blink as he turned towards his Stormtroopers, "Kill her."
The Stormtrooper still holding her dragged her up so she was standing on her shaky legs while the other moved from Hux's side, and raised his blaster to point it against her forehead.
No, no she would not die here.
A sound of pure fury ripped from her and she jerked widely, ignoring the searing pain in her shoulder. Except nothing happened.
The Stormtrooper that was holding the blaster seemed to be frozen in place, his finger still lingering on the trigger. For a moment there was silence, but she then saw Hux's pale face twist into something ugly for just a moment before he once again wiped the expression from his face, his cold gaze lingering on something over her shoulder.
She was still breathing heavily, staring at the barrel of the blaster when she felt the temperature drop. Tension filled the room and every Stormtrooper in her line of vision seem to inch back as if they wished they could be anywhere but there. Her eyes narrowed when she noticed that the Stormtrooper aiming his blaster at her stood perfectly still—apart from the slight tremor that seemed to be moving through his whole body.
She inhaled sharply when she felt something—someone—lingering behind her. First, there was a sound of breathing; a slow, careful, almost mechanical hiss that made the fine hairs on her arms stand. Then there was a rustle of clothes and she tensed when the silent figure appeared in her line of vision.
He was dressed all in black, a dark hood concealing his face though not enough for her to miss a glimpse of the menacing mask guarding his face. His attention was on the Stormtrooper who was still holding the blaster pointed at her, and she watched with slight horror as the soldier slowly moved his arm backwards and pushed the blaster under his own helmet. His movements were shaky and his whole body shuddered as if some invisible force was crushing him from inside out.
"This has nothing to do with you."
Hux spoke coldly and the tension between two men was so thick she could almost taste it. The masked man turned slowly to face Hux, turning his back at her, which made her realize just how tall and intimidating he was physically. His shoulders were broad, limbs long and each movement seemed to speak of his familiarity with death; there was something predatory, almost vicious in the way he moved with such controlled slowness.
"On the contrary General, anything to do with the First Order has everything to do with me," he spoke lowly, his mask twisting his words to sound almost inhuman. There was something unspoken between these two men—a grudge of some sorts perhaps, something that made air between them icy and tense as they looked at one another.
She tensed when the masked man turned to her suddenly, the seemingly invisible grip on the Stormtrooper before her vanishing as he stumbled away from her, dropping his blaster in the process. She stared, her breath frozen in her lungs for a moment out of genuine fear. She suddenly knew exactly who the masked man was.
Kylo Ren.
Master of the Knights of Ren.
She knew of him; heard stories—horror stories really—about the things he has done. His name was feared in the galaxy. People spoke of how powerful he was, how merciless, how strong he was with the Force. How easily he tore through anyone who opposed him or the First Order with his ragged lightsaber.
She had never met him, nor had she ever had any desire to after all she heard about him. And yet, here he was right in front of her. The surface of his dark mask greeted her, and although she couldn't see his face she could feel his stare fixating on her. He was certainly as terrifying looking as stories told, and equally as menacing.
Her anger churned deep inside her gut, driving her brain to try and think of a solution. There had to be way she could still get away from here; there was always a way. He took a few measured steps towards her—all carefully calculated intimidation and cruel intent—tilting his head to one side as he slowly raised his gloved hand in front of her.
Lips twitching into a snarl, she braced herself for the worst. Ignoring the burning pain in her cheek, she allowed her mind quickly flicker through everything she had ever heard about his powers. Some said that his Sith powers were so strong that he could tear apart your mind in seconds, peal always every single piece away bit by bit till there was nothing left. Others said that he could control your mind with the Force and make you do his bidding; many still believed that that was how he became the leader of the First Order. But all stories she heard ended badly.
Kylo Ren had quite the reputation for his methods of mind torture.
Anyone unlucky enough to survive the initial interrogation was supposedly never the same after. Something hot and fierce shot through her at the idea of him stripping her memories away like that, stripping away every precious and painful detail from her. She growled under her breath, watching as he stilled his hand before her head and then she felt it.
It was like an invisible cold hand reached out to slowly caress her mind, and unfamiliar pressure made her twist in the Stormtrooper's hold violently. Her rage boiled under her skin and she saw him tilt his head so that he could look at her directly. She tried once again to lurch herself forcefully from the hands holding her but she knew that she was too exhausted and far too weak to do so. She glowered furiously at the masked leader of the First Order as he continued holding her mind in his grip.
"Such rage…" he acknowledged at last. She had no idea if he was pleased or angry or amused by his conclusion, the metallic ring of his voice masking any emotion. "Interesting."
"Stay the hell out of my head," she snarled lowly, her words raw and chocked.
But he seemed to have an exact opposite idea. The hand that was holding her mind was joined by another, and she suddenly felt those cold fingers dig their nails into her very brain, making her wince in discomfort and shake with even deeper anger. She shook her head erratically almost hoping that she would be able to physically shake him from her mind. His nails dug deeper and deeper until she felt something give way in her mind, a blast of memories hitting her like an avalanche.
...
A soft brush of fingers against her hair. A beautiful field of blood red flowers. Shining blonde hair and laughter. Memory of sunshine and happiness—
Blood. There was so much blood. Someone was screaming, no, howling in pure anguish. A pale body, blood/blood/blood/blood everywhere. There was so much blood.
A man's face. She hated that face—she hated that face!
Slurred words. "Don't fight me, pretty girl."
Fear. She was so afraid. Someone was clutching onto her desperately. A woman's voice, "Make your heart steel, little bird."
There was piercing agony in her head. Blood, blood, blood, blood everywhere. She was in agony.
A woman was holding her hand, squeezing it tightly. She didn't want her to go. She—
"One day you're going to be free, little bird."
…
Like an injured animal she leapt and ripped at the invisible hands forcing her memories with a furious howl. Suddenly the grip was gone and she was back in reality, back in the cold outpost as she crumbled to the floor, sweat dripping down her neck. She was shaking, she realized suddenly, her lungs burning for more air.
Everyday she tried to forget what laid deep in her mind, memories that she would never dare to look back to. And everyday she failed to some extent. But this was different. She felt like she was there again, back in her memory, back in that misery that tormented her like a living shadow.
Her mother's voice. That soft, loving tone made something she thought long gone in her bleed with pain. She felt Kylo Ren step back and she inhaled sharply when his muffled voice reached her ears, "Take her aboard my ship. We're taking her back to the base."
Something close to fear bloomed in her chest at his words but she clamped it down tightly.
Hux however had no problems voicing his thoughts. "Excuse me? She tried to steal from us. I demand her immediate death."
"Then you are excused General. I will handle the Wraith from now on," Kylo replied simply.
She lifted her head enough to see Hux briskly walk up to Kylo, and under different circumstances she might have admired the cold snake for having such guts.
"There are many out there who would pay a lot for her head," Hux retorted frostily. "Just the head, nothing else attached," he added after a moment and a measured glance in her direction.
"She has potential."
An angry scowl. "Potential?" Hux repeated detestably. "She's nothing more than a petty thief. You've heard about her before, she's volatile—"
This time Kylo was the one to interrupt Hux. "Exactly. She's volatile. She's made out of nothing but blood and rage. With right guidance, someone with her skill set can prove to be useful."
Hux looked ready to retort when she interrupt them both.
"You can both go straight to hell if you think even for a second that I will ever join you."
The look on Hux's face made her insides freeze for a brief second, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of Kylo Ren stepping up to her and lifting his hand slowly. She gasped when she felt her body move up with his hand movement, same cold hands wrapping around her physically instead of mentally this time. The Stormtrooper behind her stumbled back as if suddenly afraid being anywhere near her, and she was suddenly face-to-face with one of the most feared men in the galaxy.
She breathed shakily, her toes barely touching the ground as he held her in place with the Force. Dear gods of Adnos, just how powerful was he? She tried fruitlessly to squirm in his hold but it was like she was incased in cold iron that refused to budge. His hand twitched slightly and she was dragged across the floor until they were close enough for her to feel his body heat and hear the low rasp of his breath.
"I would think very carefully about your words, little bird," he said with warning in his metallic drawl. "I would also encourage you to remember that this is not a matter of choice. You gave up that right when you tried to steal from us."
She was going to rip his throat out.
"Don't you—ever—call me that name again," she whispered harshly.
How dare he? How dare he? No one but her mother had ever called her "little bird" and she planned to keep it that way. He had no right to that name, to those memories, nor a glimpse to that endless love her mother always gave her. Her mother, who would brush her tears away, and tell her a folktale from her home planet about a beautiful flightless bird that yearned for freedom.
She was her mother's flightless bird that finally flew, and Kylo Ren was the last being in this galaxy that deserved to have that knowledge.
A quite hum reached her and she felt his gaze focus on her bleeding shoulder. For a moment she thought he might use it to torture her into agreement but he merely looked up at her again.
"Perhaps some time to think about this proposition would be wise," he spoke coolly, regarding her intently through his mask. She had no idea how he managed to do it. But she could feel his stare. "Get her to the base. No food, and no medical attention for five days. Let's see if that clears your mind."
Bastard. She glared at him but allowed no other emotion to show on her battered face. She knew torture better than most. Five days without food was hardly the worst thing he could have done to her. But she could still feel his power linger in her mind, and her anger burned hotter in her gut, remembering everything he saw and had no right to see.
"But let it not be said that we are not fair hosts," he continued calmly despite her glare. "A cup of water a day. We would not want to treat you unfairly, little bird."
It was like a stab through the heart. And his way of showing the complete dominance he had over her. She felt her anger explode into a raging fire that burned at the center of her soul. His icy cold power wrapped tighter around her but she fought, the familiar fire in her gut raging widely, trying to propel him away. She saw his head jerk slightly in response and horror sliced through her when she realized that he's been feeling every single emotion from her the moment he stepped into the room. He never let her go in the first place—
"You heard him. Get her out of my sight."
The expression on Hux's face was impassive, but the look in his eyes was frightening. A cold, raging storm that promised nothing but suffering. That stare was currently focused on Kylo Ren who finally relaxed his grip on her. Just like before, his icy power disappeared in a flash and she stumbled on her feet before one of the Stormtrooper's took hold of her.
They obeyed immediately and she had nothing left in her to protest when they started dragging her away without question. Her body shook weakly, sweat covering her skin when she grimaced at her still bleeding shoulder wound.
She could feel Kylo stare at her as she was led away and she looked back at him just before the troopers dragged her out of the hanger. He was standing beside an irritated looking Hux who was clearly demanding answers.
I'm going to kill you, she thought savagely, and hoped to all the gods out there that he somehow felt that thought.
And when he inclined his head almost mockingly in her direction, she knew that he somehow had.
AN: They say once trash, always trash. But I am happy with my trash life and my newest TrashSquad member Kylo Ren. :)
It has been a long time since I have written anything, so I apologise for my ridiculous rustiness. Also English isn't my native tongue so I'm sorry about any glaring grammatical errors. Feel free to let me know if you spot any errors so I can fix them!
Oh, one more thing. I'm always the type of writer that leaves things unsaid at all times so, yes, there is a bit more to Kylo leaving our little thief alive. Also I'm a sucker for slow burn romance so we're in it for the long haul my friends. I hope you enjoyed and please feel free to message me about anything. I love talking with you guys! :D (also brownie point to anyone who catches a tv show reference in this chapter!)
Speak with you guys soon.
A.